“Meanwhile, these poor horses are like: ‘Hey, I have worms — I need that stuff. There are worms in my butt, do you understand?’” Kimmel said.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Still Horsing Around
Jimmy Kimmel returned to his show on Tuesday after taking the summer off.
“I leave you people alone for two months, you start taking horse worm medicine?” the host said.
Kimmel offered a name for people who have taken the medicine, ivermectin, as a supposed cure for Covid-19: “pan-dimwits.” There is no evidence that the drug is effective against Covid, and the health authorities have warned that it could pose a serious danger to humans.
“So you will probably still get Covid, but on the bright side, you could win the Preakness.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Poison-control centers across the country have seen a spike in calls from people taking livestock medicine to fight the coronavirus, but they won’t take the vaccine, which is crazy. It’s like if you’re a vegan and you’re like, ‘No, I don’t want a hamburger — give me that can of Alpo instead.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Worst of all, it tastes yucky. Luckily, the internet is loaded with advice on how to make it more palatable, including mixing it with jellies or eating it as a sandwich. Or throw it on your roast beef — technically, it is horsey sauce.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“In fact, it says right on the label: ‘For a horse’s [expletive].’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“One of the reasons these Sea Biscuits are opting for ivermectin is because they don’t trust ‘big pharma.’ Which is fine, I guess, except for the fact that ivermectin is made by Merck, which is the fourth-largest pharmaceutical company in the world.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Listen, if a pharmaceutical company says, ‘Please don’t take the drug we’re selling,’ you should probably listen to them. Or you could just go with a TikTok posted by a disgraced veterinarian instead.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Meanwhile, these poor horses are like, ‘Hey, I have worms — I need that stuff. There are worms in my butt, do you understand?’”— JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Worst Butt Dial Ever Edition)
“And finally, I read that surgeons successfully removed a Nokia cellphone from a man’s body after he swallowed it whole. The kids were so embarrassed. They’re like, ‘Dad, please swallow an iPhone next time.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“He swallowed a Nokia phone. More like Choke-ia phone.” — JAMES CORDEN
“His phone got wet and he needed to put it in rice immediately, but he had eaten all of his rice.” — JAMES CORDEN
“Even worse, after four days, the man still had zero notifications.” — JIMMY FALLON
“That’s why I always buy the extra-long 10-foot charge cord, always. I know it’s a little bit more, but you’re happy you paid that money when you’re like, ‘Got it!’”— JAMES CORDEN
“When reached for a comment, the man said he didn’t swallow it — it was just the worst butt dial ever.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Amber Ruffin challenged Texas on its new abortion ban and made the case for a federally funded pedicure on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Holland Taylor (“The Chair”) will sit down with Stephen Colbert on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
“American Crime Story: Impeachment” focuses less on the White House and more on the women who were involved with and affected by the scandal.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
