“That’s nearly three and a half years, so with good behavior, he could be out in time to storm the Capitol in 2024,” Stephen Colbert joked on Wednesday.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Jacob Chansley, better known as the QAnon Shaman, was sentenced to 41 months for his role in the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol.
“That’s nearly three and a half years, so with good behavior, he could be out in time to storm the Capitol in 2024,” Stephen Colbert joked on Wednesday night.
“He apologized for storming the Capitol and said he often looks in the mirror and tells himself, ‘You really messed up, royally.’ Maybe if he’d taken a look in the mirror sooner, he would have noticed he had a dead raccoon on his head.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Not only did Chansley commit the crime of looking like an idiot — he is one.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Right now, he’s trying to use an antler to lift the keys off a guard’s belt.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Apparently, it’s hard to find a jury of his peers the same day there’s a Renaissance fair.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Crypto Edition)
“Starting Christmas Day, Staples Center will be known as Crypto.com Arena, which doesn’t sound creepy at all.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Crypto, the most confusing thing a venue has been named since Houston’s The Plot of ‘Inception’ Stadium.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“But a lot of people around here don’t like the new name at all. You know you’re in a weird spot when fans are like, ‘We have to go back to when it was named after an office supply chain!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“It’s a bad name, but thankfully, Crypto.com still isn’t the worst-named arena in sports. That honor belongs to the New Orleans Pelicans’ Smoothie King Center.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“So, look for the Lakers to be up by 20, then back down by 40, then up by 10,000, then back to zero.” — SETH MEYERS
“Generations of fans have grown up with the Staples Center. For my younger viewers, that name refers to the Staples office supply company. An office is something you used to go to for meetings, which are like very boring in-person emails. Oh, emails are long texts with more words, and words are faceless emojis that remind you you’re a relic of the past and the future no longer belongs to you. Go Cryptos!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“It’s not like Staples is a sacred name from the ancestors — it’s a store where you buy 50 packs of binders even though you only need one.” — TREVOR NOAH
“True story, we almost called our youngest daughter Crypto.com. Crypto.com Corden. Crypto.com Jennifer Corden.” — JAMES CORDEN
The Bits Worth Watching
Dulcé Sloan looked into the history of historically Black college and university marching bands on Wednesday’s “The Daily Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
Halle Berry will appear on Thursday’s “Daily Show” to promote her new film, “Bruised.”
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Source: Television - nytimes.com