Seth Meyers Skewers Subpoenaed Trump Cronies

“It’s also important to remember these people only hang out with each other because there is no one else who will hang out with them,” Meyers said.

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Seth Meyers gave an update on Donald Trump’s cronies on Wednesday’s “Closer Look.”

Meyers noted that the congressional committee investigating the Jan. 6 insurrection had subpoenaed five more Trump allies this week, “including disgraced right-wing conspiracy theorist Alex Jones, who always looks like he’s trying to Hulk out even though he wasn’t exposed to gamma rays, and Roger Stone, the guy who famously showed up to Trump’s inauguration looking like an 18th-century oil baron that makes his own meth at home.”

“What does it mean to be ‘fluent in Trump?’ You only use words with one syllable, you talk like a cabdriver from Queens, or you know how to stretch a single sentence into a rambling, hourlong monologue?” — SETH MEYERS on Roger Stone

“I mean, your law license was suspended, and you lost every case you brought after the election. The only thing you succeeded at doing was drumming up publicity for a landscaping company.” — SETH MEYERS on Rudy Giuliani

“It’s also important to remember these people only hang out with each other because there is no one else who will hang out with them.” — SETH MEYERS

“And, believe me, I’m as shocked as you are that these misshapen potato chips had a plan. It’s much easier to think of them as a bunch of easily distracted doofuses who get caught trying to steal a pen from a bank without realizing it’s chained to the desk.” — SETH MEYERS

“That’s right, Thanksgiving: It’s the day that you forget about all the fighting and division in the world and just focus on all the fighting and division in your family.” — JIMMY FALLON

“According to the latest numbers, the average cost for a 10-person Thanksgiving dinner is $53, not including bail money.” — SETH MEYERS

“And while last year people mostly stayed home because of the pandemic, this year, families are planning to return to larger Thanksgiving celebrations. You know what that means: Lot of people in their early 20s are going back to the kids table: ‘I know you just graduated from Swarthmore, Neil, but tonight, you’ll be with Madison and Parker, talkin’ “Paw Patrol.”’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“As more people are vaccinated, the holidays are returning to normal — a.k.a. cray-cray. In fact, about 53 million people are expected to travel for Thanksgiving, and all of them will be on your flight trying to board before their group gets called.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“That’s right, since it’s the night before Thanksgiving; lots of Americans are getting their antibodies checked to see if they can fight off Aunt Rita’s mystery casserole.” — JIMMY FALLON

“I’m actually hosting Thanksgiving. My favorite part is guessing which relative is going to get the one chair that’s shorter than all the others.” — JIMMY FALLON

“Of course, lots of people will be making turkey, while others will be cooking a turducken. You know what a turducken — it’s a coronary inside a stroke, inside a heart attack.” — JIMMY FALLON

Keke Palmer did impersonations of Cher, Angela Bassett and Shakira on “The Tonight Show.”

A new Baby Yoda balloon will fly above the streets of New York at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Source: Television -


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