Simon Cowell’s done for talent shows what Andy Carroll’s stag do did for marital bliss.
You can’t blame viewers for deserting Britain’s Got Talent in droves.
It’s morphed into The Voice plus sob stories, imported speciality acts and really naff turns.
Those dancing dinosaurs should have been buzzed off at their first audition.
The Witches conjured up nine minutes of ham building up to the anti-climax of a tame rat in a box.
Granted, Amanda Holden running off after grasping something fierce and hairy was a TV first. But how is that an act?
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It might’ve worked better if the judges had played it straight instead of trying – and failing – to be funny.
They axed some hopefuls for “not improving” between shows. Well, they haven’t! These puffed-up clowns are barely qualified to judge karaoke night in The Albert.
They didn’t realise mimic Ben Nickless was doing Freddie Starr’s old act, with a pinch of Duncan Norvelle.
Is BGT rigged? Perish the thought, but if Cowell really believed Mel Day would make tonight’s final “amazing”, then why put the veteran soul singer on first?
Only one act who performed in the first four spots made it through. Singers Maxwell Thorpe, Tom Ball and Loren Allred all went on last.
Remove the suspicion ITV. Have the running order drawn live at the start.
The imported pros all flopped (as usual). Italian Andrew Basso – one-time West End escapologist – self-sabotaged by blackening his water tank with milk stout.
While the judges chose likeable teenage comic Eva Abley over Japanese magician Keiichi Iwasaki (a global Got Talent veteran), largely because she’d had several pops at Cowell – a tip for the Paris Police Pepper Spray Ensemble, should they appear next year.
We’re used to BGT being a self-indulgent, over-blown farce, but tedious is unforgivable.
Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk