Jessie J has bravely shared the struggles she faced after tragically losing an unborn child the day before a planned show in LA last year.
The chart-topper and coach on The Voice made the shock announcement that she had lost her unborn baby while performing at a show in LA only a day after she received the horrific news.
On stage at the time, Jessie admitted that she thought performing would “help” her, but looking back now on the Diary of a CEO podcast, she reflected that she had struggled to come to terms with the situation alone.
The singer had decided to have a private pregnancy, having been diagnosed with endometriosis, a condition that can affect fertility in women.
But she recalled that waking up one morning, something just didn’t feel right.
(Image: jessiej/Instagram)
“I had two scans in the same day, and within the first scan and the second scan the baby had passed,” she remembered.
Jessie described how the doctor had warned her that the baby’s heartbeat was “very low”, but, by the time she had rushed to another expert for a second opinion, there was sadly nothing that could be done.
“I got home and I was [more] focused on, ‘how am I going to get through tomorrow’s show? Than, ‘what is happening?’” she added.
Rather than take time to process her grief, Jessie decided to go ahead with the show, and even shared a social media post where she opened up on her loss.
And, she suggested that this had been a spontaneous response, noting: “I was by myself, I had no one advising me, my mum and my sister weren’t there to go, ‘no, don’t share this with the world, make it real for you first’.
(Image: Instagram)
“I posted it because I didn’t have anyone to break on… I didn’t have anyone to fall apart on, and that’s what I needed, that’s what I wanted.”
While she made it through the show, the 34 year-old admitted: “The hardest part for me wasn’t doing the show, the show was actually kind of a weird trippy dream, and I was actually grateful that I wasn’t by myself, and loads of people that I loved turned up.
“It was when I got in the car after the show by myself, and I got home, and I opened my front door, I closed the door and I fell to my knees.
“That was the worst moment of my whole experience was realising that, other than my career, being a mother and having a child has been the biggest excitement of my life.
(Image: Instagram)
“I felt like I’d been given everything I’d ever wanted and then someone had gone, ‘but you can’t have it’.
“But it was still there, and I would sing to it every night, and when I got home and I lay there, I’ve never felt so lonely in my life.”
Jessie had been planning to have a child on her own, and after five months since the tragedy she admitted that she didn’t want to do so again.
“It was the saddest thing, but at the same time, I knew that the reason it happened was because I wasn’t supposed to do it alone… I know that I’m supposed to find someone who wants this as much as I do,” she explained.
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Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk
