Stephen Colbert joked that he hoped “they locked the doors to keep him in.”
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Obama in the House
Former President Barack Obama made his first return to the White House in five years on Tuesday.
“Then, hopefully, they locked the doors to keep him in,” Stephen Colbert joked.
“He was there to promote Obamacare and to get that pack of smokes he forgot in the Lincoln bedroom.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Former President Barack Obama today visited the White House, and out of habit, Jeanine Pirro called for his impeachment.” — SETH MEYERS
“Yep, Obama said he would have visited sooner, but gas prices were too expensive.” — JIMMY FALLON
“But it was fun to see the former president at the White House. Obama felt like a guy who was visiting his old high school, and Biden was like the old gym teacher who never left.” — JIMMY FALLON
“It was great to see him today. It was like the ‘White Men Can’t Jump’ reunion at the Oscars.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Obama was there celebrating the 12-year anniversary of the Affordable Care Act, Obamacare, and also to help Joe set up his Roku.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“That’s really got to bother Trump. All these lies and schemes and lawsuits to get back to the White House, Obama just strolls right in there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (On Bezos’ Grave Edition)
“Over the weekend, workers at an Amazon fulfillment center in Staten Island were able to successfully unionize. It’s the first Amazon union. And the new president of the union said something funny. The president of the union said, ‘We want to thank Jeff Bezos for going to space, because when he was up there, we were signing people up.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“This is great news. That is fantastic. And Amazon is now going all out to make sure it doesn’t happen again.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“The app essentially censors anything that’s controversial at Amazon, including the word ‘restroom,’ which, you know, may not be missed. Many Amazon workers are more familiar with the phrases ‘empty Powerade bottle’ or ‘on Bezos’ grave.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Amazon’s new internal messaging app
“So these are all words Amazon will not allow: ‘Unions,’ ‘strike,’ ‘wages,’ ‘restrooms,’ ‘pee bottles,’ ‘empty Dasani,’ ‘bladder infections,’ ‘happiness,’ ‘life outside of work,’ ‘home,’ ‘going home,’ ‘I think I live at home but can’t remember,’ ‘help,’ ‘help us,’ ‘penis rocket,’ ‘overcompensating,’ ‘dork,’ ‘space dork,’ ‘bald space dork,’ and ‘I want to have sex with Alexa.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Bits Worth Watching
On Tuesday’s “Tonight Show,” Amanda Seyfried shared how she mastered Elizabeth Holmes’s falsified deep voice for “The Drop Out.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Nicki Minaj will join James Corden for the return of “Carpool Karaoke” on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show.”
Also, Check This Out
A new documentary about the professional skateboarder Tony Hawk explores his compulsion to continue skating at all costs.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
