They say it’s the most wonderful time of the year, but I can assure you it’s not if you’re watching Kirk Cameron’s 2014 film Saving Christmas.
Warning to readers: Do not watch this film. One viewer on YouTube wrote: “I saw this movie on a plane, and people still walked out,” and that just about sums it up for you.
Sure, it’s fun to stick on a terrible movie with your mates and rip it to shreds. But there are some films that are simply too bad to enjoy. Some films suck the happiness out of everything you love, and this one will leave you wanting to kick over your Christmas tree.
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Don’t just take it from me. This film is the worst Christmas film ever and fifth worst film overall according to IMDb. It has a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and is now considered one of the worst movies ever made.
I tried to watch this film so that you didn’t have to. I didn’t do this for me, I did this for you. But despite my mediocre efforts, it was so bad that I couldn’t make it to the end.
Here’s the plot. Basically, Kirk Cameron decides his cynical brother-in-law Christian (subtle name) is ruining his annual Christmas party by being grumpy about it all. Christian feels Christmas has become too over-commercialised and no longer honours Jesus Christ and the bible.
No longer able to endure the festivities, he decides to hide in his car on the driveway. But our self-aggrandising Christmas hero Kirk decides he needs to give his brother-in-law an “intervention”, because apparently you can’t be anything other than dangerously excited about the holiday season.
Devoted Christian Kirk decides the best way to convince him that Christmas is still an important Christian tradition is to recite the story of the Nativity (I’m not kidding). Christian objects to Christmas trees because he’s convinced they didn’t show up in the bible, and he has a number of other issues. Genuinely, at one point he’s upset because “Santa” is an anagram of “Satan”.
Eventually, Kirk manages to persuade Christian that the modern Christmas still honours its Christian roots. With a new lease of life and love for Santa, Christian rushes back into the house and parties it up with wife Debbie, who had been gutted that he wasn’t getting into the festive spirit.
This is why it sucks. It feels like Cameron is holding you hostage and giving you a TedTalk about why Christmas is great. The start of the movie features Cameron lecturing you (with some uncomfortably long pauses). He goes on a weird rant about people who don’t understand the true meaning of Xmas while pretending to sip hot chocolate.
The whole thing is just… bizarre. During a chat with his sister Debbie, he (sort of) threatens to beat up his brother-in-law, and the next minute he’s pouring hot chocolate for kids (did he mention he likes hot chocolate?).
(Image: Samuel Goldwyn Films/Everett/REX/Shutterstock)
Up next is a really weird scene trying to tell us how much Christian hates Christmas. Suddenly, horror music kicks in over creepy slow-motion shots of kids enjoying the party (Are they in danger now? Should we be worried?). At one point during this scene, Kirk talks about how a candy cane could be seen as a “perverted symbol”. Okay???
Enter: The most annoying ‘comic relief’ character ever – Diondre – Christian’s colleague – who rants about how they can no longer enjoy “crazy shirt Fridays” in the office. He’s so irritating that even the film decides to cut him off, showing you a close-up of a depressed-looking Christian, who despite being the scrooge of the story is already the most relatable character. Both Christian and I are sick of it already.
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The rest of the film takes place in the gloomy atmosphere of Christian’s car (really treating the viewers here) with absolutely no redeeming moments of comedy or decent acting.
Cue to a painfully unfunny scene with no relevance to the plot where Diondre and his friend discuss conspiracy theories and declare that there’s been a “war on Christmas”. Their hushed conversation takes place behind mugs and exposes some dreadful editing that in no syncs up to the movement on their lips. If you’re going to include a sh** and pointless scene in your film, at least edit it properly.
If you were after a moment of joy in this bleak Christmas turd of a film, you’d hope to find it at the end. But you’re in no luck at all, because the climax is Christian awkwardly breakdancing in front of everybody to show how much he loves this Christmas party that he’s been hiding from.
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Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk
