“Thanks to Joe Biden’s greed, it’s even more expensive than ever to buy a raw turkey, cover it in stamps, and send it to a relative,” Colbert said.
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Turkey Inflation
Thursday’s holiday was the big topic on “Thanksgiving Eve.”
Stephen Colbert focused on Fox News’s coverage of the rising price of raw turkey, saying the network has “a festive tradition over there, and it’s blaming everything on Joe Biden.” This year, it was the former Congressman Jason Chaffetz’s claims that inflation under the president has driven up the price of turkeys and postage stamps.
“That’s right. Thanks to Joe Biden’s greed, it’s even more expensive than ever to buy a raw turkey, cover it in stamps and send it to a relative,” Colbert said. “Thanks a lot, Joe.”
“I have no reason to doubt Jason Chaffetz other than the fact that I’ve met him. But according to the latest data from the Department of Agriculture, the average cost of a frozen turkey is $1.25 a pound. OK, so if Jason Chaffetz spent — if he spent $90, if he spent $90 at $1.25 a pound, that means he must have gotten … a 72-pound turkey. Jason, Jason, that wasn’t a turkey you put in the oven. For the love of God — for the love of God, where’s your niece?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Drinksgiving Edition)
“Tonight is actually known as Drinksgiving, and a lot of people are going to reconnect with their high school ex. If you watch closely tomorrow, you’ll notice half the parade is just people doing the walk of shame.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Of course, the difference between Drinksgiving and Thanksgiving is drinking for fun versus drinking for survival.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Yeah, it’s nice to let loose on Drinksgiving, but it’s not good when your friend’s, like, ‘I also celebrate Drinksmas, Drinkakah, Drinkwanzaa, Drinko de Mayo.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“That’s right, Thanksgiving is almost here. it’s one of my favorite holidays, but let’s be honest: It can be a little tense. I mean, that’s why for the turkey, I use a dry rub made of crushed Xanax.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Wednesday night’s “Daily Show” co-hosts Jordan Klepper and Desi Lydic investigated the War on Christmas at Fox News headquarters.
What We’re Excited About on Thursday Night
“Late Night” will be the only show airing on Thursday, with host Seth Meyers’ family as special guests.
Also, Check This Out
Bradley Cooper directs and stars in “Maestro,” an intimate portrait of the composer Leonard Bernstein.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
