He was the fast-talking funnyman who left us too soon! Today (August 11) marks ten years since comedian and movie legend Robin Williams died aged just 63.
But the American star, famous for roles in flicks like Dead Poets Society and Mrs Doubtfire also left us with an amazing legacy of gags. Here JAMES MOORE recalls some of his best lines…
- Do you think God gets stoned? I think so – look at the platypus!
- I wonder what chairs think about all day. ‘Oh, here comes another a–hole’?
- If it’s the Psychic Network, why do they need a phone number?
- Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose.
READ MORE: Inside Robin Williams’ final days – stress, body pain and unknown illnesses
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(Image: Sunset Boulevard)
- Cricket is basically baseball on Valium.
- God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
- Politicians are a lot like diapers. They should be changed frequently.
- Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
- You know, you get that tattoo of barbed wire when you’re 18, but by the time you’re 80, it’s a picket fence.
- Beer commercials usually show big men, manly men, doing manly things: ‘You’ve just killed a small animal. It’s time for a light beer.’ Why not have a realistic beer commercial, with a realistic thing about beer, where someone goes, ‘It’s 5 o’clock in the morning. You’ve just pissed on a dumpster. It’s Miller time.’
- I went to rehab in wine country, just to keep my options open.
(Image: NBCUniversal via Getty Images)
- Cocaine is God’s way of saying that you’re making too much money.
- A woman would never make a nuclear bomb. They would never make a weapon that kills. They’d make a weapon that makes you feel bad for a while.
- Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning many; and tics meaning, bloodsucking creatures.
- I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21. I was so bad, she gave me a refund.
- You know the difference between a tornado and divorce in the South? Nothing! Someone’s losing a trailer, number one.
- People say satire is dead. It’s not dead; it’s alive and living in the White House.
- I think God made babies cute, so we don’t eat them.
- In England, if you commit a crime, the police don’t have a gun and you don’t have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say ‘’Stop, or I’ll say stop again…”
- You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married say, ‘It’s the same sex all the time.’
- Ballets: men wearing pants so tight you can tell what religion they are.
- If there was a pill that allowed you to drink and not get drunk, an alcoholic would go: “What happens if you take two?
- You don’t want a doctor who also has a hobby! You don’t want a gynaecologist who is also a magician. “How are we doing today Mrs Johnson? Oh look, a dove!”
- Canada is like a loft apartment over a really great party.
- We’ve had cloning in the South for years. It’s called cousins.
- Death is nature’s way of saying, “Your table is ready.”
Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk
