‘I ditched Liam Gallagher at Reading – as feral teens rampaged on £7 pints and £7 ‘air”

The zesty star, who played ultimate high school menace Regina George in the Mean Girls remake, suffered from a Great British shower – twice – on stage after stagnant rain water from the day before was dramatically blown onto her and her equipment.

Quite rightly, she stormed off stage while admitting “this is f***ing ridiculous” in a truly questionable British accent. But even mops and frantic sound techs couldn’t save Rapp’s incredibly short and seemingly cursed UK festival appearance.

Rapp wasn’t the only one to fall victim to the wind and the rain. Leaking and broken tents were a real talking point while queuing for the much needed morning coffee – it really was quite miserable at points.

I sat in my structurally insecure tent and thought what possesses us Brits to come to festivals knowing we could all be in one big collective soggy reality.

But, acts like The Last Dinner Party are the reason why. The baroque-indie group sure knew how to put on a show and proved they could do so in come rain or shine.

On the cusp of the torrential downpour and the breakthrough of the sun, Abigail and co put on quite the spectacle – all without the gimmicks of grand sets.

All the eclectic frontwoman needed was her voice, spunky personality and her rather fabulous skirt that proved great for frolicking about in.

Their album Prelude of Ecstasy is full of hits with perfectly crafted lyrics. But, My Lady of Mercy really shone through as one of the rememberable musical moments over the weekend. And one for a good reason.

Abigail got to show off her powerful voice while proving that she’s born to be a frontwoman as she rolled around on stage, caressed her body and screamed into the faces of screaming fans. All without sound issues too.

They finished their 4pm set with Nothing Matters – a song that went down well on TikTok – which received great crowd recall. It left everyone with that buzz you want to feel after live music.

So off I buzzed to get a £7 pint, a £12 temporary tramp stamp tattoo of ‘I am Kenough’ all before I felt incredibly old and decrepit as I saw nothing but baby faces around me.

Am I too old to be getting an airbrush tattoo at a festival? Well, apparently so as the scantily clad teens used their own body paint and makeup to scrawl the likes of ‘sl**’ and ‘c***’ across their bodies.

The vulgarity wasn’t spared for the signs either – ‘I am horny’ and ‘bring back f*ngering’ were two standouts of the weekend. They were even propelled onto the big screen and got a fair few chuckles from the crowd.

It was time for a breather from the masses, so good job there was a stall selling £7 flavoured oxygen.

But I thought that rather spending my money on 5 minutes of air, I would just simply breathe the air of Reading for free?

I tapped out and went back to my tent that was still standing – though this was not the case for my fellow campers in the Guest section.

Storm Lillian raged on elsewhere and so did the feral behaviour of the unruly teens let of the leash by their parents and presumably for the first time.

Tales of ‘slum’ like conditions of general camping areas made me feel content with my quieter, but also windy, reality. One staff member told me that even if you could not see the camp, you could most certainly smell it.

I didn’t want to venture that close enough for neither. It looks like some came to unleash their inner deviants by ruining others’ tents, chucking rubbish and having the inability to use a toilet properly.

But, for me, I ventured back for the music. And both Raye and Lana Del Rey were hindered by the poor sound – especially the latter.

Lana came on late, was pretty much inaudible over the new Chevron Stage and then was cut off early. ‘Turn it up’ people were yelling at the melancholic yet romantic inspired songstress as she remained drowned out by what she referred to as ‘techno’.

I managed to get on some shoulders for huge hit Video Games and so was transported into a land of decent sound and a sea of mobile phones. But you shouldn’t have to borrow a pair of shoulders to be able to hear a huge act on a main stage at a massive festival.

Moving on. Fred Again didn’t miss a beat for his first UK festival headline set. Lucky he doesn’t dabble in the whimsical, just uplifting dance. And that meant he was safe from the base of the Chevron Stage that menaced those before him.

The producer experienced a meteoritic rise to success so it made sense that he started his performance being propelled on platform away from the actual stage. He kicked things off with ‘Turn On The Lights’ and it was a visual spectacle.

So was watching the 31-year-old aggressively play his keyboard. He genuinely looked so proud and happy to be there. Fred’s energy was matched by the crowd which was very much so needed after the flop of Del Rey’s set (not entirely her fault).

It went from sleepy boring school assembly to a big sweaty dance party.

Though I didn’t want to fall asleep this time, indie-rock band Catfish and The Bottlemen suffered the same fate the day after Lana. Van McCann and co walked off the stage for 10 minutes after asking the crowd ‘can you hear us’. The answer was most certainly a no.

Full respect for them walking off and attempting to sort the sound issue. But, there wasn’t much improvement – which is a shame for a band that are making their comeback to the stage after some time off before their big tour next year.

Saying that, they were still a highlight of the weekend in performance terms.

Liam Gallagher is the messiah of bucket hats and those with insufferable laddy personalities – which are two things that often come hand in hand.

But, even one of the pioneers of 90s British rock couldn’t forgo the majorly immature crowd and the unwavering chest rattling base from the Chevron Stage.

In his iconic stance and style, Liam reeled off the plethora of solo hits and Oasis classics – that you’ll be able to experience in its entirety thanks to the band’s long overdue reunion kicking off next year.

He kicked off with ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Star’ that would usually boot the crowd into motion. Though even Liam and his bolshy voice and personality couldn’t inject that usual electricity into the crowd.

Not the fault of him, but the exceedingly young audience who seem to have no crowd etiquette (barging and elbowing to get through) and prefer to just sit on their phones. Oh, and that bloody EDM base.

Sorry Liam, I just had to hang up my metaphorical bucket hat.

I fought the insatiable base all weekend, but with poor sound and too many 16-year-olds with bucket hat personalities – Skrillex and his EDM beats pulled me into the Chevron Stage.

And, although controversial, it was the right decision.

Reading Main Stage had been plagued by sound issues all weekend, which I assume was not helped by the relentless strong gusts and equally defiant dance music from the opposite Chevron Stage.

As they say, if you can’t beat them, join them.

Surprisingly, Skrillex appeared to attract an older crowd and by older I mean people who can actually legally buy alcohol.

Reading had too many DJ sets. Skrillex reeled off some beats that had been played by various other acts on the stage throughout the weekend.

I came for Skrillex, but it could have been a bloke named Steve with some decks and pyrotechnics. However, he was a lot of fun and I’m glad I ditched Liam.

Although Reading is a rite of passage for teenagers lucky enough for their parents to pay the £300 ticket and set them loose at everyone else’s inconvenience, it looks like the festival need to iron a few things out.

Reading Festival needs to get a hand on the wind machine and find the volume remote if crowds and artists want to take to the main stage next year. Saying that, the staff were the most friendly and helpful I’ve ever met at a festival/music event – and I’ve been to my fair few.

Though, they need to reign in the utter feral behaviour of 16-year-olds who think its ok to bulldoze through crowds and wreck havoc at campsites. So, do we block the sacred ritual for post-GCSEers?

Festival season has come to an end and it didn’t go out with a bang – but more of a very wet oomph oomph oomph oomph…