“We’re smack-dab in the heart of primary season, and Donald Trump is out there trying to win over the voters that matter most: his juries,” Stephen Colbert said.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘No’ Means ‘No’
Former President Donald Trump has been spending primary season balancing campaign events with court appearances.
Stephen Colbert joked on Thursday that “Donald Trump is out there trying to win over the voters that matter most: his juries.”
Trump testified as part of a defamation trial against him earlier in the day, where he defied the judge’s orders to answer questions with a “yes” or “no.”
“Which is fitting, because the whole trial is the result of Trump disregarding everything after ‘no.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“A jury is there to determine how much he will have to pay, and we know he doesn’t like to pay, so he showed up to speak on his own behalf. And everything went smoothly until the judge asked him to tell the truth, the whole truth, and everybody busted out laughing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“He only lasted about three minutes. Then Stormy Daniels was, like, ‘Wow, a minute longer than I expected.’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (MAGA Camp Edition)
“Well, guys, as mentioned, Nikki Haley is refusing to drop out of the race, and Trump is still furious about it. Yep, Haley’s worried if she quits she’ll be humiliated or, worse, Trump’s V.P.” — JIMMY FALLON
“In a post on Truth Social, former President Trump said that anyone who donates to Nikki Haley’s campaign will be permanently barred from the MAGA camp ‘from this moment forth.’ What? ‘From this moment forth?’ What’s going on? You know Trump is stressed when he starts talking like a dungeon master. ‘[imitating Trump] From this moment forth, all my enemies shall bow before me!” — SETH MEYERS
“Wow, what does ‘barred from the MAGA camp’ even mean? Like, what, you’re not invited to the next insurrection?” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“If you’re wondering what MAGA camp is, it’s like Boy Scout camp, except the badges are for things like tax evasion, election fraud, lying about your golf score.” — SETH MEYERS
“At this point, Haley knows she can’t win, but she’s having way too much fun watching Trump lose his mind.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Justin Timberlake joined Jimmy Fallon and The Roots for a medley of his best-known songs set to classroom instruments.
Also, Check This Out
Sutton Foster stars as a sleepless princess in a new production of the 1959 musical “Once Upon a Mattress.”
Source: Television - nytimes.com
