Jimmy Fallon joked that Trump has so many trials that “at this point, the courtroom sketch artist doesn’t even draw him — she just traces the grooves in her desk.”
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
‘The Violent Overthrow of the Government One’
Former President Donald Trump attended a court hearing in Washington, D.C., on Tuesday, where his lawyer argued for presidential immunity for what Stephen Colbert called “the violent overthrow of the government one.”
Jimmy Fallon joked that Trump has been part of so many trials that “at this point, the courtroom sketch artist doesn’t even draw him — she just traces the grooves in her desk.”
“Trump spends so much time in court, the sketch artists are running out of orange pastels.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Trump is in court so often he enrolled in PreCheck so he can zip through security.” — JIMMY FALLON
“During the hearing, Trump appeared visibly agitated and several times he abruptly became anxious and upset. Eventually, his lawyer handed him an iPad that was playing his favorite episode of ‘Bluey.’” — JIMMY FALLON
One judge pressed Trump’s lawyer on whether presidential immunity would extend to cases such as ordering special forces to kill a political rival.
Jimmy Kimmel joked that Trump better lock the doors at Mar-a-Lago “because Bazooka Joe Biden has every reason to blow it to kingdom come.”
“To recap: Trump’s lawyers are arguing that the president, who is currently Joe Biden, could order SEAL Team Six to assassinate his political rival, who is currently Donald Trump.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“So to recap — or to re-recap — Trump and his lawyers are arguing that the president ought to be able to murder his political opponents and then cannot be prosecuted unless he gets impeached. Our commander in chief has godlike powers over life and death as long as his party controls the Senate — and I just wanna say, please vote.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Missing Bolts Edition)
“A man in Portland recently found a working iPhone along the side of a road that is believed to have been onboard the Alaskan Airlines plane that had a door plug blow off mid-flight. And, honestly, I’m not sure what’s scarier: having the door blow off your plane, or losing your phone.” — SETH MEYERS
“The NTSB, or ‘nut-sub,’ has released its preliminary findings on the door popping off, announcing the panel on the plane may not have been properly attached. Ya think? It reminds me of the NTSB’s groundbreaking report on the Hindenburg: ‘Kaboom.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Now, the good news is that the bolts that should have held the door in place may not have come loose as was previously feared, OK? The bad news is that it’s possible the bolts were never even installed. Now, I know that sounds like a major screw-up, but they were just following the instructions: Put door on plane. Wonder why you have leftover bolts. Enjoy unlimited leg room.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Now, in response to this fiasco, the F.A.A. has grounded all 200 Boeing Max 9 planes in the United States, saying it could take four to eight hours to inspect each plane. Well, I think I speak for all travelers when I say take your time! OK? Do not rush. Be thorough. We’ll be at the Chili’s Too, pounding Spice-A-Ritas.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
Seth Meyers skewered his writers’ worst jokes of the new year in Tuesday night’s “Surprise Inspection” segment.
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
Reneé Rapp will promote her role as Regina George in the new musical movie version of “Mean Girls” on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”
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Source: Television - nytimes.com
