The “Late Night” host ribbed Giuliani for being so far in debt that he’ll go bankrupt paying the $148 million he now owes two Georgia election workers.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Morally Bankrupt
Last Friday, a jury ordered Rudy Giuliani to pay $148 million to two former Georgia election workers he was found guilty of defaming after the 2020 election.
“Well, after marrying his cousin, giving a press conference at a landscaping company and almost masturbating in the Borat movie, Rudy Giuliani has finally slipped up,” Seth Meyers joked on Monday.
“Instead of $48 million, they ordered him to pay $148 million. They basically took the maximum and put a one in front of it, which, if you ask me, is the funniest possible choice. They took one look at Rudy and said, ‘There’s no way he can afford to pay $48 million. So [expletive] it, let’s add another hundo.’” — SETH MEYERS
“That’s right, a jury in Washington, D.C., last week ordered Rudy Giuliani to pay nearly $150 million in the defamation case brought against him by two Georgia election workers. OK, but he for sure doesn’t have that much money. You might as well order a dog to drive you to the airport. A lot of stress for the dog, but you’re not getting to the airport.” — SETH MEYERS
“No one’s sure how much of this judgment Rudy will actually be able to pay because his net worth is unknown, although a financial statement acquired during discovery listed his personal assets as two empty Franzia boxes and a paper bag labeled ‘Backup teeth?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“He defaulted on a phone bill. He bounced a check for his neck removal surgery. He owes $1 million in unpaid parking tickets for parking his car inside the living room of his apartment. He missed a credit card payment for a locksmith he hired to get into his house, which he had locked himself out of, and then a second locksmith he hired to get him out of his house he had locked himself into. He also owes Blockbuster multiple copies of the film ‘Rudy’ after returning the ones he rented with himself edited into the footage.” — SETH MEYERS
The Punchiest Punchlines (Playing the Hits Edition)
“It is Dec. 18, and it’s beginning to look a lot like fascism, thanks to Donald Trump.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“This weekend in New Hampshire, former president Trump delivered an hour-and-a-half-long speech where he bashed immigrants, defended Jan. 6 rioters, and called Kim Jong Un ‘very nice.’ So he’s just playing the hits, you know what I’m saying? That’s how you do it. [imitating Trump] I’m not going to waste any of your time with the new stuff — here’s some classics. The surprise song tonight is ‘Wall.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Trump does the same material so much, people start yelling requests. They’re, like, ‘Do Inject Bleach!’”— JIMMY FALLON
“Trump even points the mic to the crowd during some of the singalong parts. He’s like, ‘When I say witch hunt, you say rigged!’” — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Jimmy Fallon challenged two musicians from the audience to write original songs based on the made-up song titles “Texting With My Mittens On” and “North Pole Dancing.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Rufus and Martha Wainwright will perform a holiday-themed song by the singer-songwriter Sufjan Stevens on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
“The Gilded Age” star Carrie Coon has become a fan favorite as the ambitious wife of a railway tycoon on HBO’s historical drama.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
