Stephen Colbert likened the current state of the Republican primary to grocery “shopping carts that are shaped like cars so the kids can pretend they’re driving.”
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What’s the Alternative?
Despite former President Donald Trump potentially being off the primary ballot in Colorado for 2024, Republicans are still supporting his candidacy while other candidates compete to be runner-up.
“Right now, the Republican primary is like when you go to the grocery store and they have those shopping carts that are shaped like cars so the kids can pretend they’re driving,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday’s “Late Show.”
“According to a new poll, 54 percent of Americans approve of Colorado kicking Trump off the ballot, including — including a shocking 24 percent of Republicans. But MAGA conservatives are officially P.O.’d about it, and some of them are seeking vengeance against the guy who did not do it, because Republicans are threatening to take Joe Biden off the ballot in states they control. Yes, they’re going to kick him off the ballot for the same constitutionally sound reason they’re impeaching him — I don’t know.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Of course, there’s no guarantee Trump’s even going to be the nominee. And there’s been a huge shake-up in the Republican primary because, according to the polls, Nikki Haley has surged into second place behind Trump in Iowa. Yaaass, queen! It is so important to show little girls out there that they, too, can never be president.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (Winter Solstice Edition)
“Well, everyone, today is officially the first day of winter, and it was also the shortest day of the year. Yeah, it was fun around 3 p.m. when you weren’t sure whether to take DayQuil or NyQuil.” — JIMMY FALLON
“Happy winter solstice, everybody — unless you’ve got seasonal affective disorder, in which case, hang in there! Tomorrow is going to be three seconds longer.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“One popular solstice tradition is to dance around a bonfire, but I already did my drunken fire dance two nights ago when Colorado kicked Trump off the ballot.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Bits Worth Watching
Seth Meyers revisited an old Playboy interview with Trump from 1990 for his last “A Closer Look” segment of 2023.
Also, Check This Out
Andrew Scott plays a man alienated from himself and looking for answers in Andrew Haigh’s new film, “All of Us Strangers.”
Source: Television - nytimes.com
