“No! Bad, psycho governor! No! Sit down!” Colbert said on Monday’s “Late Show,” spraying water from a bottle.
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Bad Governor!
The South Dakota governor Kristi Noem, an aspiring vice-presidential candidate, has gotten some negative press over her forthcoming book, in which she describes killing a family dog.
“Warning: If you like puppies, you’re not going to like Kristi Noem,” Stephen Colbert said on Monday.
“Look, I know it sounds terrible, but it’s much worse. Because this wasn’t some rabid 90-pound hellhound on a meth bender — it was a 14-month-old wire-haired pointer named Cricket. Yes, a puppy named Cricket. Reminds me of Stephen King’s first draft of ‘Cujo,’ ‘Snuggles.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“No! Bad, psycho governor! No! Sit down! Bad! Stay! Stay away from dogs!” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“I don’t know how big her staff is, but I’m guessing she has at least a dozen people working for her, probably more. Not one of those dozen or dozens of people raised a hand and said, ‘Uh, governor? Do you think maybe not a great idea to share that story about shooting a whole petting zoo at your house? Maybe we save shooting a puppy in a gravel pit for the next book, you know?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“By the way, the actual title of Noem’s book where she tells this story is ‘No Going Back.’ Better than her first drafts, ‘Old Yeller 2: He Had it Coming’ and ‘All Dogs Go to Gravel Pit.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Governor Noem, if you don’t like untrainable animals that wolf down chickens, I have bad news about your party’s nominee.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
The Punchiest Punchlines (John Wick Edition)
“When you’re trying to win over voters, I’m not sure being the bad guy in a John Wick movie is the best way to go.” — JIMMY FALLON
“But who among us hasn’t seen a dog running through the fields, not a care in the world, and thought, ‘You deserve to die’?” — STEPHEN COLBERT
“Yeah, people are really going to hate her next book, ‘Kristi Noem: Then I Ate It.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“It’s one thing to kill a dog named Cricket; it’s another to brag about it in your book. What’s the book even called, ‘I Did It’?” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
Anne Hathaway and Melanie Lynskey played a new game called “Reverse Charades” on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Tuesday Night
Jerry Seinfeld will discuss his new Netflix film, “Unfrosted,” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”
Also, Check This Out
Erotically charged films like “Saltburn” and “Challengers” show that sex is making a comeback in cinema.
Source: Television - nytimes.com
