Scottish singer/songwriter Lewis Capaldi has credited therapy with allowing him back on stage following a tough two year break and says he was unsure if he would ever be able to return to live performances.
Lewis Capaldi has opened up about his mental health for the first time since he walked off stage at Glastonbury and took a two year break.
The chart star has recalled how he knew almost instantly that he wouldn’t be able to finish that gig and for him it could very well be his last show ever.
He said: “I think I probably knew two songs into the set at Glastonbury that I couldn’t do it. Glastonbury’s obviously the biggest deal. And it was the Pyramid Stage, so it was a big, big, big old gig.
“Second song in – I can’t keep doing this to myself and other people as well. It’s not how you want to watch a show.
“As far as I was concerned, it was done, indefinitely.
“I didn’t take a break to just focus on getting better, I took a break because I needed a break to release the pressure valve a little bit.”
The crowd helped Lewis finish his final song Someone You Loved as he fought to get his Tourette’s under control.
And two years on Lewis finds the footage hard to watch back, he shared: “When I watch it back, I actually feel sad. I don’t watch that back like I know everyone else does, and go, ‘what an incredible moment’.
“And I know it IS a beautiful moment and people really were helping me get through it and they made it a much less embarrassing moment – if no one was singing along it would have been pretty bleak!
“The reason I think I got so anxious in the first place was that i wasn’t living in the moment at all I was catastrophising, thinking about all the things that could go wrong.
“This should be a really happy moment, and it isn’t. I’m just sitting here, I am achieving my dream here….
“I don’t look at it as an uplifting, happy video. I’m probably the only person who looks at it and doesn’t see it as an uplifting, happy video.”
Last month Lewis made a triumphant return to Glastonbury but insisted that without therapy, and more importantly the right therapist, it wouldn’t have been possible.
“Therapy has been such a massive part of my last two years. A massive part of the reason that I’m able to be a musician again”, Lew said.
Speaking with BetterHelp, who he’s teamed up with to give away 734,000 free hours of online therapy, the singer admitted he has “neglected to look after myself in the past, both mentally and physically”.
And before he wouldn’t utilise therapy like he does now: “I was doing therapy before, but I was lying my way through it. I didn’t have the therapist I have now.
“The therapist I have now that I’ve worked with for the last two years now, he’s great, he’s the best I’ve worked with.
“The two therapists I’ve had in the past, not through any fault of their own, I felt like I was lying to them and myself.”
Lewis performed secret gigs before his Glastonbury return and admitted I “cried my eyes out” when he was finally back on stage but can say now that he feels the “best” he has “in a long time”.
For more information about the partnership and to access a free month of therapy, visit www.betterhelp.com/lewiscapaldi.
Source: Celebrities - dailystar.co.uk
