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    Unemployed Stage Actors to Face New Health Insurance Hurdle

    Facing enormous financial strain because of the shutdown of the theater industry, the health insurance fund that covers thousands of stage actors is making it more difficult for them to qualify for coverage.Currently, professional actors and stage managers have to work 11 weeks to qualify for six months of coverage. But starting Jan. 1, they will have to work 16 weeks to qualify for a similar level of coverage.Nonprofit and commercial theater producers contribute to the health fund when they employ unionized actors and stage managers, but because theaters have been closed since March, those contributions — which make up 88 percent of the fund’s revenue — have largely ceased.“The fact that we have no contributed income is something no one could have foreseen,” said Christopher Brockmeyer, a Broadway League executive who co-chairs the fund’s board of trustees, which is evenly divided between representatives of the Actors’ Equity union and producers. “We really put together the only viable option to cover as many people as possible with meaningful benefits under these totally unprecedented circumstances.”Brockmeyer and his co-chair, Madeleine Fallon, said the fund, which currently provides insurance coverage for about 6,700 Equity members, is facing its biggest financial challenge since the height of the AIDS crisis. At that time, the challenge was high expenses for the fund; this time, it is low revenues.“Everybody is out of work, everybody is panicked, everybody has lost income and can’t make their art, and on top of that their health fund is in crisis,” said Fallon, who leads the union bloc on the board. “It’s been an emotionally difficult journey, but we hope our members will understand that we did find the plan that gives us our best chance to rebuild.”Under the new system, those who work at least 12 weeks can qualify for lower-tiered plans with higher co-payments and more restrictions.Actors’ Equity, which appoints half of the fund’s trustees, but is otherwise an independent organization, opposes the changes.“We all understand that there is no escaping the devastating loss of months of employer contributions nationwide, and no alternative aside from making adjustments to the plan,” the union’s president, Kate Shindle, said in a statement. “But I believe that the fund had both the obligation and the financial reserves to take the time to make better choices.”Shindle said the union had asked its members on the fund’s board of trustees not to support the changes until they conducted a study about the potential impact on union members of color, on pregnant union members, and on union members who live outside New York, Chicago and Los Angeles.A similar battle is unfolding in the film and television industry. Members of SAG-AFTRA, a union representing actors in those media, have loudly objected to changes in their health plan.Stage actors are accustomed to working to earn health care benefits — some take jobs for the express purpose of getting weeks that will help qualify them for insurance. But many actors are not working at all, and can’t qualify no matter how many weeks are required.As a result, some will be uninsured, while others can get coverage through Medicaid, COBRA or the Affordable Care Act. The Actors Fund is providing “health insurance counseling” to those facing a loss of coverage.The Equity-League Health Fund, which is available to unionized actors and stage managers who work in commercial and nonprofit productions on Broadway, Off Broadway, and at regional theaters around the country, informed its beneficiaries of the changes on Thursday.The fund began the pandemic with $120 million in reserves, and is now down to $91 million. Its administrators project that reserves will drop below $20 million by the middle of next year if its eligibility and benefits rules remain unchanged, and that it will be unable to pay benefits at all by the end of next year. More

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    White Actors and Directors Still Dominate Broadway Stages, Report Finds

    White actors, writers and directors still dominate Broadway stages, according to an annual report released on Wednesday by the Asian American Performers Action Coalition in partnership with the American Theater Wing.About 20 percent of shows in the 2017-18 season on Broadway and Off Broadway stages were created by people of color, the report found. Nearly two-thirds of roles were filled by white actors on Broadway, and about 94 percent of directors were white.The study examined the city’s 18 largest nonprofit theaters, as well as all 41 Broadway stages. It is a snapshot of a single season, and varies each time it is done. In the seasons since 2017-18, several shows with casts that feature a high percentage of performers of color — including the musicals “Ain’t Too Proud,” “Tina,” “Hadestown” and “West Side Story,” as well as “Slave Play” and “A Soldier’s Play” — have been staged on Broadway.The study found that Off Broadway theaters invested as much as six times as much in white actors as they did in actors of color. It noted that a similar gap likely exists on Broadway stages, but it could not say for certain because Broadway theaters do not publish their negotiated salaries.Approximately 23 percent of roles over all at New York City theaters went to Black actors, 7 percent to Asian-American actors, 6 percent to Latino actors, 2 percent to Middle Eastern or North African actors and fewer than 1 percent to Indigenous actors, according to the report. Latino actors were also more than three times as likely to be cast in a chorus role than as a principal in a Broadway musical.Last year’s report, which analyzed the 2016-17 season, found that about 87 percent of shows on and Off Broadway had white authors, a proportion that is now roughly 80 percent.The report comes at a time when institutions are reckoning with how theater must change after the killings of Black men and women by police officers and years of white overrepresentation. Coalitions of theater artists like “We See You, White American Theater” have released demands for theaters to require that at least half of cast and creative teams be made up of people of color and for Tony Awards administrators to appoint a group of nominators in which at least half are people of color.“As we strive to create a more equitable American theater, it is critical to understand where we are now, in order to chart a path to where we need to go,” Heather Hitchens, the president and chief executive of the American Theater Wing, said in a statement. “It is my hope that my colleagues will use it to guide more intentional and exponential inclusivity and equity.” More

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    Mellon Foundation to Provide $5 Million to Aid Black Theaters

    Black theaters across the country will receive a significant financial boost thanks to a multimillion-dollar program announced today by the Billie Holiday Theater, a Black-led artistic institution in Brooklyn.The initiative, known as The Black Seed, is described as the first national strategic plan to provide financial support for Black theaters across the country. It is backed by a $5 million lead gift from the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation, which, according to a news release, is the largest-ever one-time investment in Black theater.“The Black Seed stands on the shoulders of Black theater leaders who came before and centered the work by us, for us, about us and near us,” Indira Etwaroo, the executive artistic director of the Billie Holiday Theater, who conceptualized and worked with others to create the initiative, said in a statement.The Billie Holiday Theater was founded in 1972 in response to the civil rights and Black Arts movements. The plan will be administered by that theater in collaboration with three other Black-led artistic institutions: the Craft Institute in Massachusetts, Plowshares Theater Company in Detroit, and WACO Theater Center in Los Angeles. The group will award up to 50 one- to three-year grants to Black theaters in the coming months, in amounts ranging from $30,000 to $300,000.According to American Theater magazine, there were 88 Black theaters in the United States in 2019. The initiative focuses on empowering them, rather than targeting diversity and inclusion at historically white institutions, Ms. Etwaroo said. Grants will aid in developing and leveraging national partnerships and supporting new artistic commissions.The group announced several other prongs of the plan: The Black Seed National Leadership Circle, which will invite donor investments in Black theaters; a cohort of six national networks and coalitions that will meet twice a year to collaborate on advancing the Black theater field; and a national marketing campaign to share the story of Black theater in America.“We are deeply moved to be a part of a field-wide endeavor that would bring institutions and coalitions together to link arms, to find strength in one another, and to dream out loud, as a collective,” said Kenny Leon, who co-founded True Colors Theater Company in 2002 and went on to win a 2014 Tony Award for directing “A Raisin in the Sun.”Strengthening the country’s Black theaters has been a priority as institutions consider how the art form must change after the killings of Black men and women by police officers, and in the wake of demands to diversify the American theater ecosystem from coalitions of theater artists like “We See You, White American Theater.”Sarah Bellamy, the artistic director of Penumbra Theater in St. Paul, Minn., told The New York Times in June that Black theater “is alive and well; it’s just not funded.”“I invite these Black artists who have been wounded by their efforts with the Great White Way to come back home,” she said.The Black Seed group hopes to raise $10 million for the three-year initiative, a spokeswoman said. A request for proposals from Black theater institutions will be announced in October, and the group hopes to announce grantees in December. More

  • Seth Meyers Takes a Break With ‘Strange Adventures’ and Monty Python

    With a month to go until the election, the comedian Seth Meyers and his “Late Night” crew are sprinting toward the finish line.“One of the most dreadful things about the last three-plus years is how quickly you have to move from one story to the other because something else insane has happened,” he said. “It was like being on a treadmill in the gym that someone turned up to the fastest speed and the highest angle. It was really hard in the beginning, but now we have very strong quads.”After broadcasting from his wasp-infested attic during the lockdown, Meyers is back in Studio 8G at 30 Rockefeller Plaza — albeit without a live audience. He and his crew are unleashing their gallows humor on NBC in “Closer Look Thursday” on Oct 8.“We don’t think we should be anybody’s first news source,” he said, “but we’re not a bad companion piece if you want the catharsis of, ideally, laughter.”Meyers is sticking around Manhattan, where he lives with his wife, Alexi Ashe Meyers, and their sons Ashe, 4, and Axel, 2. But even for this former “S.N.L.” funny man, some things are no laughing matter.“I hope you appreciate how stressful it is to come up with lists like this,” Meyers said with a rueful chuckle. “It has been so exhausting and I’ve gone back and forth so many times. If I panic, you’ll hear from me.” And I did. These are edited excerpts from the conversation.1. William Steig’s BooksI have this real appreciation for children’s authors now because I’m reading so many books to my kids. And I find that William Steig’s books do not try to sink down to what they think a kid would like. When I read these books to my 4-year-old, the level of focus on his face is so much more intense because they don’t take the normal journey that you would expect. The storytelling is unique in a way that grabs him. There’s something so refreshing about reading a kid’s book that I can feel elevating my son’s understanding of the world as I’m doing it.In “The Amazing Bone,” the passage I love is Pearl the pig asking the talking bone: “You’re a bone. How come you can sneeze?” And the bone replying: “I don’t know. I didn’t make the world.” It’s rare for a children’s book to acknowledge that there are unknowable things. And it’s also a great response to use for questions like, “Why is it already bedtime?”2. Tom King, Mitch Gerads and Evan Shaner’s “Strange Adventures”If you’ve been a fan of the DC Universe like I have for decades, it’s really fun when comic creators blow the dust off and show it to you in a whole new way. Tom King has a great history of taking secondary characters from the comics canon and breathing new life into them. It’s comics at its best. He and Mitch Gerads are a perfect match and adding Evan Shaner makes it all the better.3. Rhea Seehorn in “Better Call Saul”“Better Call Saul” is one of my favorite shows. But I want to draw attention to Rhea because this show started and you were focusing on all these characters that would, later in the timeline, appear in “Breaking Bad.” And there’s this incredible sleight of hand that has happened the longer the show goes on, which is this character you weren’t paying that much attention to in the beginning has now become the through line that is the most interesting as it comes to its conclusion. As an actor, she had this really difficult task of hiding that she was going to be the most interesting part of this the longer it went. So I tip my cap. The very slow reveal has been a real triumph.4. “Transcendent Kingdom” by Yaa GyasiShe wrote “Homegoing,” which was a book I just loved. Whenever I think about it, I think about the incredible sprawl of it and the fact that it takes place over centuries and in all these different locations. So I was really excited for her next book. This book lives in a laboratory and an apartment and, to some degree, the past. The scale of it is smaller, but it touches on addiction and family and even how the brain works. And it was stunning that the ideas were just as big.5. “I May Destroy You”The minute I started watching it, I thought: “Oh, I might be too old for this. Maybe this show isn’t going to be for me.” But it was just so deftly handled. [Michaela Coel] is such a good writer, such a magnetic performer. Early on you have this sense that you are in safe hands, that the storyteller knows what they’re doing, and if you go along with them, it’s going to be rewarding. It felt like an education and a comedy and a drama all at once. And it was the show my wife and I were most upset was over when it came to its conclusion.6. John PrineThere’s never been a period of my life where I haven’t been listening to John Prine. And when he tragically passed away [from complications of the coronavirus] this year, it was just another reason to go back and listen to his music. It’s music my parents introduced to me that I’m already introducing to my kids. I feel like no one wrote with more empathy and understood how people are and how people talk, and there was such a soft-edged humor to the way he wrote about hard-edged ideas. And I have no statistical evidence to back this up, but I don’t think you could be a bad person if you liked John Prine. “Angel From Montgomery” is one of my favorite songs, and you just can’t picture a serial killer putting on his gloves while that’s playing.7. Isaac Chotiner of The New YorkerDuring Covid, he did an incredible job of talking to scientists and medical professionals in a way that I found genuinely very helpful. In his best interviews, he gets people to participate in their own undressing and reveal the moral hole in their arguments. And in times like these, he’s a valuable asset.I hesitated naming a New York Times person, but David Marchese, when I’m feeling down, I’ll read his interview with Nicolas Cage. I mean, the person I most want to hear talk is Nicolas Cage, and I feel like he completely got unlocked in that interview in a way that was just sweet nectar. He talked about buying a dinosaur skull. That’s far more interesting to me than anything you read in most interviews. I’m sorry that I don’t have anything like that to give you.8. Old Pittsburgh Steelers HighlightsThe most irrational love affair I’ve had in my life is with the Pittsburgh Steelers. I thought as I got older I would be less affected by outcomes of games, but the reality is I’m not. It’s getting worse, and I spend a lot of time trying to justify during games that I should be happy that I’m in a loving marriage with two wonderful kids — and it doesn’t work. It’s so stressful for me that I found the real thing I enjoy is going back and watching highlights of games where the Steelers won. That way I can be happy the whole time. It’s an unfillable hole inside of me. I need them to keep winning to maintain my happiness. I’m aware that it is an unhealthy obsession.9. “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”I feel like my understanding of comedy went from black-and-white to color when I saw that film. I was home sick from school, and my dad went to the video store and he got that movie, and we watched it together. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed harder. I was probably 10 years old at the time, and every part of it was perfect. I would like to think it influenced my comedy, but it mostly just gave me permission to take gigantic swings because there are so many bold choices, including the opening credits. One of the credits is “Mooses’ noses wiped by …, ” and I remember thinking that’s the greatest joke I have ever seen in my life.10. His Mother, Hilary MeyersSo look, I’m taking advantage of the fact that this is going to run in print on her birthday [Oct. 4]. I don’t want to blame anyone over there at The New York Times, but her birthday has gone unmentioned for years. I thought we could rectify the situation by saying that, particularly with books and loving to read, none of that would’ve happened without my mom. I also want to mention her because she has emailed me this specific article in The New York Times multiple times. She sent me, for example, Sarah Paulson’s because we both read “A Little Life,” which was a book on Sarah Paulson’s list. She emailed me Andy Samberg’s and asked if the Thundercat that he mentioned was the same as the “ThunderCats” cartoon that I used to watch. Which it’s not. And I realize that the only thing that would be better than this is if I somehow got my mom to be an answer in the New York Times crossword. But failing that, I think that this hopefully will be a nice surprise for her on her birthday. More

  • Cleveland on ‘Family Guy’ to Be Voiced by Arif Zahir

    Cleveland Brown has found his new voice: The actor Arif Zahir will take over the role of this friendly “Family Guy” neighbor on the Fox animated series.On Friday, 20th Television, the studio that produces “Family Guy,” said that Zahir, a prolific YouTube performer, will succeed the actor Mike Henry in the part. Henry, who is white, said in June that he would no longer play Cleveland, a Black man who lives down the street from the show’s lunkheaded protagonist, Peter Griffin. “I love this character, but persons of color should play characters of color,” Henry said at the time.Zahir said in a statement on Friday: “When I heard that Mike Henry was stepping down from the role of Cleveland Brown — my favorite cartoon character of all time — I was shocked and saddened, assuming we’d never see him again. When I learned I would get to take over the role? Overabundant gratitude.”Zahir also gave his thanks to Henry and the “Family Guy” producers, adding, for the show’s fans: “I promise not to let you down.”Henry said in his own statement that he welcomed Zahir to the show. “Arif’s vocal talent is obvious, but his understanding of Cleveland and his respect for the character give me confidence that he is in the right hands,” he said. “I look forward to getting to know Arif and working with him to make sure Cleveland stays every bit as awesome as he has always been.”20th Television said that Henry, who is continuing to voice other characters on “Family Guy,” will still play Cleveland in episodes for the show’s coming 18th season, which begins on Sunday, and that Zahir will take over the character in episodes for the 19th season, which has just gone into production.The change at “Family Guy” comes amid wider moves in animation to stop using white actors to play nonwhite characters. The shows “Big Mouth,” on Netflix, and “Central Park,” on Apple TV Plus, recently replaced the white voice actors who were playing biracial characters on these programs. And the producers of “The Simpsons,” another long-running Fox animated comedy, said over the summer that they would no longer have white actors voice nonwhite characters. More

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    Review: This ‘Elephant Room’ Sequel Is a Goofball Epic

    If even the mildest, most intimate play struggles to translate online, you’d think a comic interstellar adventure would be impossible to pull off. And yet.In the goofball epic “Elephant Room: Dust From the Stars,” three endearingly dorky magicians travel from their basement rec rooms to outer space, where they end up discovering a mysterious “gathering place.” It’s “Wayne’s World” crossbred with “Spinal Tap” and “2001: A Space Odyssey,” simultaneously very funny and unexpectedly touching.The show, part of the Fringe Festival in Philadelphia, packs a lot in just over an hour and is the most resourceful, gleefully entertaining new theater piece I have seen during the pandemic. Yes, it all happens on Zoom. Yes, there are tricks, some of them involving the audience. And yes, it’s possible to laugh alone in front of your computer.New Yorkers might remember said magicians from their appearance at St. Ann’s Warehouse in 2012. “Elephant Room” — the new show gets a grandiose subtitle, as sequels tend to do — introduced Dennis Diamond (played by Geoff Sobelle), Daryl Hannah (Trey Lyford) and Louie Magic (Steve Cuiffo) as dorky-cool suburbanites with a fixation on sleight-of-hand and 1980s male hair stunts.These foundational elements are still present eight years later, as the trio welcome us, their fellow illusionists, to our magic society’s monthly meeting. “I hope you have a ticket for both,” Dennis told one of the Zoom attendees, who was watching with her cat.We went through the agenda: minutes; dues; Louie, who appeared to be in a wood-paneled basement, executing a trick with five mugs and a billiard ball, followed by one with ESP cards like those used by Bill Murray in “Ghostbusters.” The feats of mentalism elicited all-cap messages like “WHOAH” and “STOP IT” in the chat window — the Zoom equivalents of gasps.It’s all great fun, but “Dust From the Stars” really takes off when it literally takes off.Directed, like the earlier one, by Paul Lazar, the show deftly mixes the lo-fi aesthetics of budget science fiction (Louie’s communication device looks suspiciously like a shower attachment) with dopey humor and experimental theater’s sensibility. The last does not come as a surprise: Sobelle is a regular on arty stages, both on his own (“The Object Lesson” and “Home”) and with Lyford (“All Wear Bowlers”); Cuiffo is an actual magician who has performed verbatim re-creations of Lenny Bruce’s acts. (The sets are by Julian Crouch, whose work has been seen on Broadway and at the Metropolitan Opera.)After Daryl recounts a nighttime encounter involving flashing lights and mysterious creatures, we switch to a galaxy where Louie “was volunteered to make first contact.” He disappears and his buddies set out “to find him in our land buggy that flies and stuff.” At this point, the show starts integrating the actors into elaborate backdrops and videos (the films are credited to Derrick Belcham and Lyford), peaking in an astonishing final scene in which the galactic travelers find themselves in a ghostly locale. It is, like what preceded, very funny, but this time the laughs may catch in your throat.Elephant Room: Dust From the StarsLive performances on Zoom through Sept. 26. More

  • Busy Philipps’s Week: Coffee, ‘Little Women’ and Keeping It Together

    Busy Philipps is … well, busy. She said she considers herself “retired” from acting, but she is still hard at work. In her podcast, “Busy Philipps Is Doing Her Best,” which debuted in August, she chats with friends — who are often celebrities — about how everyone, even during the pandemic, is trying to keep it together.Philipps, 41, famously turned her social media prowess into “Busy Tonight,” a talk show on E! that premiered in 2018. It was essentially an answer to the question “What if Instagram were a TV show?” James Poniewozik, the chief television critic for The Times, wrote at the time.Just six months later the network pulled the plug. Now, she said, a podcast lets her have the conversations she wanted to have all along. She teamed up with her creative partner, Caissie St. Onge, and their friend, the comedian and former “Busy Tonight” writer Shantira Jackson to make it happen.These days, Philipps said, she can’t watch or listen to a show that doesn’t acknowledge the very difficult time that we’re all experiencing. So whether talking about Breonna Taylor or Cardi B, she aims to make room for the complexity of our world as it is. “We have to allow sort of like room for both things because otherwise you get very burned out,” she said.Philipps, who lives in Los Angeles, tracked her recent routines and the cultural items that help keep her focused during a recent trip to New York. These are edited excerpts from our conversation.Wednesday MorningAt 6 a.m., I wake up to take our puppy, Gina Linetti, for a walk. (She’s named after the character in “Brooklyn Nine-Nine,” who my daughter, Birdie, loves.) She’s a golden doodle, and just eight months old. Being in New York (I flew here for work this week) has been hard for her. I am still feeling jet lag, so I lay down after the walk and fall back asleep.At 10 a.m., I wake up again and make my Bulletproof coffee, something I have to have every morning. I also make sure to drink water and take my vitamins. Health is something I’m super conscious of, as we all are at this time, for so many reasons. In L.A., with all the smoke [from the wildfires] and my allergies, I wasn’t feeling so great, so I’m trying to right the ship. I’m also 41 now, and being a mom of two, I want to stay healthy for them.At 11 a.m., I get the kids started on virtual school, which has been so difficult for them. My older one started middle school, a new school with new teachers, friends, etc., virtually, and the younger is in elementary school. Schools have really been trying to make it fun and interesting. But it breaks my heart in so many ways, especially for the little kids. It’s just so hard for them to not have social interaction.But I’m glad that now, while I’m working, they can come with me and still do school, as opposed to what my life used to be like — anytime I had work outside of Los Angeles, I would have to leave to go back and forth. And I felt a lot of guilt.I’m also listening to edits for an upcoming episode of my podcast. Caissie, Shantira and I like to hear all the edits, especially since a weekly podcast calls for such tight turnaround times. It’s so different from doing “Busy Tonight,” where I used to have to get the rundown of the news every day and you could never go more than five minutes deep in a segment. I’m thankful for more time in this format.Later, I squeeze in a workout. Working out every day is something that really helps me focus and helps me be able to do all the things that I need to do in a day. I keep a variety of workouts in my pocket, but I keep coming back to LEKFit — it’s one of my favorites.Wednesday AfternoonI interview the actress Arden Myrin for an upcoming episode of the podcast. I like to be sure that people feel like they get across what they are hoping to get across.I’ve been on the other side a lot of times, when people don’t know who you are, or don’t care — I really do care, that’s why I do this! With Arden, we all took a look at her new book. But on the episode, I mess up: I kept pronouncing her last name incorrectly, which is something she even addressed in her book. I guess I was just, like, in my own head about it. We’ve been around each other for years in Los Angeles as actors and we have so many mutual friends and truly, I didn’t know how to pronounce her last name. And I did not. I just kept mispronouncing it. I don’t know if we’ll edit that out. I bet we’ll probably leave it in because I really am doing my best. But it wasn’t right.I also have to pick up Gina from doggie day care and head to the health food store — it’s right by the day care and I need a few things. I pick up a few snacks for the girls while I’m there too.Later, I record an interview with Tomberlin about her EP and the music video I directed for her [“Wasted”]. I was a huge fan of her music before we became friends, and it’s a really tough time, especially for independent musicians, so we wanted to do something to celebrate her EP. With the help of my husband, Marc, we shot the video on my iPhone and it turned out really great. The reaction to it has also been really lovely and kind of exactly what we were hoping for.Wednesday EveningI finished my day attending a P.T.A. meeting over Zoom. When my older daughter got accepted to her new school in June I thought, “Well, I’m not going to wait until September” to get involved because I don’t even know what that’s going to look like. So I just inserted myself, and we were even able to do a socially distanced meetup at a park.By midnight it’s time for bed — I like ending the day with a treat, and tonight I have some Tate’s gluten-free cookies. I try to stay gluten-free as much as possible. I’m from L.A., what do you expect?Thursday MorningI wake up and make coffee. I use this time to work out and shower. Afterward, I answer some work emails and post on Instagram. I don’t really have a routine with social media — I like to post whenever I want, unless it’s a branded post. Those usually have blocks around when to post and how long after I can post something. But I don’t mind doing that — I only support products that I really do use and like, so I do my research.Thursday AfternoonI hop on another Zoom call for work. (I treat myself to Hot Tamales while on the call.)Now for some fun! I get to interview Tina Fey for the podcast. Fey has been a friend for years, and executive produced “Busy Tonight,” so I’ve interviewed her before. One thing that’s always interesting to me is just how reserved she tends to be. Anything she does is funny, obviously; she is brilliant. But she does tend to be like a lot quieter than I would have imagined before I met her.Thursday EveningWe order Rubirosa for dinner. I had a vodka pizza with pepperoni, Caesar salad and an Aperol Spritz to go.I watched Greta Gerwig’s “Little Women” before bed. It’s just me and Birdie, but I’m embarrassed that I’m bawling. Greta is a friend, and I can’t believe I’m so behind in seeing this. I make a mental note to text her tomorrow and send her videos of me bawling, since she’s not on social media. More

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    Review: ‘Romantics Anonymous,’ a Challenge to Your Sweet Tooth

    “If you don’t do anything, nothing can go wrong.”So sings a pop-up character not otherwise involved in the story of “Romantics Anonymous,” the hyperglycemic 2017 musical streaming live through Sept. 26 from the gorgeous Theater Royale in Bristol, England.In the tradition of Act II opening numbers, the song reintroduces the plot — about two pathetically timid French chocolatiers who can’t break out of their shells — while also expanding it thematically to encompass this pandemic moment. Its warning about love and bonbons, both of which apparently demand great daring, turns into a warning about our recently comatose theater: “We can’t do nothing.”And to the extent “Romantics Anonymous,” directed by Emma Rice, offers a real live musical with a cast of nine, singing and dancing together on an actual stage to the accompaniment of a four-person band, it is doing something most welcome. When the chocolatiers kiss, with no Zoom grid or Plexiglas baffle anywhere in sight, you feel like applauding, and not just for them. Perhaps our Sleeping Beauty art form is finally awakening from its six-month blackout, at least in Bristol.But musicals should aim higher than mere industry boosterism. Yes, it is noble that the producers of the show — Wise Children, Bristol Old Vic and Plush Theatricals — reconfigured it as a virtual “tour” to support theaters around the world, including many it planned to visit in person before the pandemic intervened. And “Romantics Anonymous” gets bonus civics points for making closed-caption and audio-described recordings of the livestream available to everyone on Sept. 28.ImageBawden, left, and Marc Antolin shyly approach romance in the show, adapted from a 2010 film.If only good intentions were enough to make it good! But unless you already love this kind of material — French whimsy in the manner of “Amélie,” with a soupçon of “Waitress” and its relentless food imagery tossed in — you are not going to find that musicalizing the 2010 French-Belgian film “Les Émotifs Anonymes,” already an acquired taste, has made it any more satisfying.That it follows every rule in the musical theater handbook is actually a problem. The songs (lyrics by Christopher Dimond, music by Michael Kooman) are as sweet and unobtrusive as the main characters — which sounds like a good match of form and content except that with passive, inexpressive types like Angèlique (Carly Bawden) and Jean-René (Marc Antolin) you want contrast and gumption. Without them, and despite the glugs of style Rice slathers on everything, the story has no bite.Please excuse the confectionary metaphors; the thematic discipline imposed on the show is insistent enough to gratify a masochist. The opening number immediately points out that “chocolate makes the darkness somehow bright” and “bitterness is what it takes to make the taste complete.” Elsewhere we hear about the need to follow recipes for success in business and, in a supposedly sexier vein, how “the thing about chocolate is that its flavors take time to penetrate.”This sophomoric cleverness (the book is by Rice, based on the screenplay by Jean-Pierre Améris and Philippe Blasband) feels incongruous in a story supposedly about growing past pain. Angèlique is one of the best chocolate makers in France yet hides her pralines under a bushel — apparently because her mother, according to one scene and song, is a louche loudmouth. Jean-René has parent problems too: His disapproving late father’s insistence on traditional methods and flavors is driving the family business into the ground.Naturally, the two must face their demons and conquer them; Angèlique with the help of a 12-step-like program called Romantics Anonymous, and Jean-René with the encouragement of his jolly employees. (All these and more — mustachioed waiters, neckerchiefed sailors, wisdom-spouting bellboys and assorted oddballs — are played by the chorus of seven, changing costumes and flipping wigs from one stereotype to another.) If you don’t know right from the start that the plot will end with marriage, and also with Angèlique turning Jean-René’s moribund business into a success, you haven’t seen a musical ever.That obvious wrap-up would have been fine — as it is in many great musical comedies — if what happened along the way ever caused a ripple of genuine complication; it doesn’t. (Even the surprises are predictable.) The dialogue and lyrics are too ceaselessly winky to dignify actual growth or suffering, and the attempts at humor also fail; faint to begin with, they suffer further from the lack of a live audience. And though the sets and choreography are nicely shot for the livestream, which went off without a glitch on Tuesday, there isn’t much to distract you from characters so stylized that they have just about nothing left in common with humans.Stylization has long been Rice’s long suit; in “Brief Encounter,” “The Red Shoes,” “Tristan & Yseult” and other productions for Kneehigh, the theater where she made her name, she dialed character reality down to nearly zero in order to wow with sensation. Often, she succeeded, especially when the material was already bursting with archetypal significance and musical bombast.But despite a charmingly serious performance by Bawden — she alone never winks — the characters in “Romantics Anonymous” are too fey to support the kind of aesthetic superstructure Rice insists on building. Angèlique and Jean-René are no Laura Jesson and Alex Harvey, the would-be adulterers in “Brief Encounter,” whose intimate story is made large and grave by the possibility of real tragedy and the proximity of imminent war. Of course, their soundtrack is Rachmaninoff.Here, though, neither the pleasant score nor the fate of Angèlique’s apricot-infused truffles is enough to justify two hours of tedious twee. So though I agree with “Romantics Anonymous” that doing nothing is insupportable, I have to add that with vaporous stories like this one, it can be just as unsatisfying to do too much.Romantics AnonymousPerformances streaming live through Sept. 26, with closed captioning and audio described recordings available on Sept. 28. More