Chieng, Ronny (Comedian)

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    Jimmy Kimmel Digests Trump’s Crypto Dinner

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    “Listen, he’s only corrupt in his free time, guys,” Kimmel said of the president. “When he’s in the Oval Office, he’s by the book. This is all completely on the up and up.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Guess Who’s Coming to DinnerOn Thursday, President Trump hosted a dinner for the biggest investors in his personal cryptocurrency. Protesters gathered outside the golf club where it was held, denouncing what they called “crypto corruption,” and late-night hosts lodged their own form of protest in their monologues.“Tonight, President Trump hosted a private dinner for the top 200 holders of his memecoin,” Jimmy Fallon said. “Yep, over 200 crypto bros in one room. Even Satan’s like, ‘Now, that’s hell.’”Several of the dinner guests told The New York Times that they were hoping to influence Trump and, ultimately, U.S. financial regulation. Jimmy Kimmel was not reassured by Karoline Leavitt, the White House press secretary, who told reporters it was a private dinner and that it was “absurd for anyone to insinuate that this president is profiting off of the presidency.”“It is absurd to say it’s absurd for anyone to insinuate that the president is profiting off of the presidency,” Kimmel said.“As far as I know, he’s the only president I’ve ever heard of who sells his own Bible and watch.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Listen, he’s only corrupt in his free time, guys. When he’s in the Oval Office, he’s by the book. This is all completely on the up and up.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“These people gave Trump’s business a combined $394 million for this dinner in one night. Seats went for from $55,000 to $37 million a pop. And no plus ones. That’s just by yourself.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Thinks Trump’s ‘White Genocide’ Video Was a Bit Much

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      “The guy who couldn’t find South Africa on a map of Africa” subjected its leader to an extremely dubious video about his own country, Jimmy Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Lie, the Beloved CountryOn Wednesday, President Trump lectured the visiting president of South Africa, claiming that genocide was being carried out against white farmers in his country (and subjecting him to a dubious video on that subject). In turn, Trump got a lecture from late-night hosts, who dismantled his false claims.“There’s a right-wing conspiracy theory bubbling right now that says they’re killing all the white people in South Africa,” Jimmy Kimmel explained on Wednesday night. “Trump apparently has seen this online, so he brings the president in, he turns the lights down and makes him sit through a multimedia presentation about his own country titled ‘White Genocide.’”“I mean, seriously, does anyone at the White House — does anyone around him ever say, ‘Oh, Mr. President, this one is wrong, this is not real, this one makes you look demented and dumb’? Nobody does.” — JIMMY KIMMELOn “The Daily Show,” Ronny Chieng said Trump had turned the White House meeting “into a murder podcast.”“Trump is convinced that there is white genocide going on in South Africa, which of course means there is no white genocide happening in South Africa. It’s not even mathematically possible. I mean, you’ll never run out of white South Africans when one of them is making 5,000 kids a week.” — RONNY CHIENG, referring to Elon Musk“But still, Trump thinks there is one, and you know he cares about it because he said ‘white genocide.’ It’s like someone told him, ‘Hey, it’s not just a genocide, it’s a white genocide. You know, the bad kind.’” — RONNY CHIENG“During the meeting, this is real, things got pretty heated, and the president of South Africa actually said, ‘I’m sorry I don’t have a plane to give you.’ And then, to mess with Trump even more, he gave him tickets to see a Springsteen concert in New Jersey.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump asked some tough questions, like, ‘How did you get rid of Elon? I’ll tell you what I did. How did you do it?’ — JIMMY FALLON“If you really want to impress Trump, you should have given him one of your golf courses. Then Trump would be like, ‘Hell, yeah! Sorry, white South Africans, if that’s even a real thing. Thoughts and prayers.’” — RONNY CHIENGThe Punchiest Punchlines (Golden Dome Edition)“President Trump has unveiled plans for a ‘Golden Dome’ missile defense shield that could cost tens of billions. Here is a schematic of what the golden dome would look like. The best part about the defense shield? He says the Klingons will pay for it.” — GREG GUTFELD“We’re fine. Gold doesn’t melt. It’s the strongest metal on earth.” — GRACE KUHLENSCHMIDT of “The Daily Show”“Yes, gold. Because when I think impenetrable, I think of stuff that pirates can bend with their teeth.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Ronny Chieng Takes Issue With Kristi Noem’s Takes on Immigration

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      “We’re going to have to take you out of U.S.A.,” the “Daily Show” host said after the homeland security chief couldn’t correctly define habeas corpus and suggested a game show for citizenship.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Flunking OutPop quiz time — what’s the definition of habeas corpus? The homeland security secretary, Kristi Noem, fumbled the answer to this question during congressional testimony on Tuesday, and “The Daily Show” was not about to let it slide.“If Kristi Noem was just a random person on the street, I’d get it if she was, like, ‘Habeas corpus? That’s a Harry Potter spell, right? Makes you invisible?’” Ronny Chieng said.“But the secretary of homeland security should know that habeas corpus prevents the president from deporting you without due process, not that it lets the president deport you without due process. That’s the opposite of what it means! And I didn’t know you could have dyslexia for laws.” — RONNY CHIENG“A reality TV show for citizenship is somehow the most un-American and most American thing I’ve ever heard of. Although we already have a contest to prove who’s the most American, and it’s called the Nathan’s hot dog eating contest. What’s more American than eating until your colon explodes and then going bankrupt from medical bills?” — RONNY CHIENG“It might be a nicer way to get deported. Instead of I.C.E. agents disappearing you up in unmarked vehicles, Ryan Seacrest walks into your living room with a TV crew, and is, like, ‘Carlos, we’re taking you out of the U.S.A.” — RONNY CHIENG“Kristi Noem, you still don’t know the basics of American law, so I’m sorry to say, we’re going to have to take you out of U.S.A.” — RONNY CHIENGThe Punchiest Punchlines (Big, Beautiful Edition)“Right now, Trump’s little Republi-buddies are on Capitol Hill trying to figure out a bill, but they’re coming close to fisticuffs over his heartless, tax-cutting boondoggle, which he’s been calling his [imitating Trump] ‘big, beautiful bill.’ It really sounds less like legislation, and more like the husky guy at a male strip club. ‘OK, ladies. Coming up on the main stage is Big Beautiful Bill! You know him, you love him, the dad-bod Adonis! He’s going to eat a whole potpie with his bare hands. Grab onto those handles, ladies, before he runs off to Home Depot!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They’re trying to get Republicans to fall in line with what he keeps calling his ‘big, beautiful bill.’ And now, he somehow has got all the dummies around him calling it that, too. Big Beautiful Bill would be a good wrestling name, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’ll take food out of the mouths of millions of hungry children who get SNAP benefits, and it contains a provision to eliminate a sales tax on gun silencers. It will make what they call suppressors more affordable, to which I say, it’s about time. One thing I think we can all agree on is the gun violence in this country is too loud.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I read that Americans who are anxious about tariffs are skipping the salon and opting for at-home beauty treatments. Yeah, and after people cut their own bangs, tariffs will be the least of the their problems. ‘Summer’s ruined!’ Hey, here’s my advice: If you want a hot stone massage, just put your phone on your body and open five apps at once.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Stephen Colbert Translates Trump’s Italian Tariff Talk

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      “The Late Show” host said Italy’s prime minister, Giorgia Meloni, is “seen as something of a Trump whisperer” after she visited the White House on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Speaking Trump’s LanguagePresident Trump hosted Prime Minister Giorgia Meloni of Italy at the White House on Thursday.On “The Late Show,” Stephen Colbert said that hopes were high that Meloni, a right-wing populist and a favorite of Trump’s, could convince him to loosen up on tariffs. His admiration for her was demonstrated again when he marveled at her Italian-speaking ability during their news conference.“[imitating Trump] It sounded great — it was beautifully presented. I’ll have the same thing she ordered, but double meatball, double parm.” — STEPHEN COLBERT.“Trump got a visit from the prime minister of Italy today. He had them bring in lunch from the Olive Garden to make her feel at home.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Things went so well that they planned a second play date. Meloni announced that Trump has accepted her invitation to come to Italy for an official visit, and Trump is going to blend right in with the Italians, because he looks like a pile of prosciutto with a little spaghetti on top.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (High Holy Day Edition)“Easter weekend is almost upon us. And, man, oh man, if Jesus comes back and sees what’s going on, we are in deep trouble.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“For the first time since 2014, Easter and 4/20 will land on the same day this year, which is going to lead to some very long and confusing egg hunts.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This Sunday, He is risen, and you is high.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Easter and 4/20 seem like a natural pairing ’cause whoever came up with our Easter traditions was definitely stoned.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingThe actress Nancy Kwan discussed her new book, “The World of Nancy Kwan: A Memoir by Hollywood’s Asian Superstar,” with host Ronny Chieng during Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutKelly Marie Tran, left, Lily Gladstone, Han Gi-Chan and Bowen Yang in “The Wedding Banquet.”Luka Cyprian/Bleecker Street/ShivHans Pictures Starring Kelly Marie Tran, Lily Gladstone and Bowen Yang, Andrew Ahn’s “The Wedding Banquet” is a 21st-century twist on Ang Lee’s 1993 queer classic. More

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      Stephen Colbert Defends PBS and NPR Against Trump’s Defunding Plan

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      Colbert said both public media entities are “already operating on a shoestring budget — Daniel Tiger can’t even afford to wear pants.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Bert and Ernie Have Wives Now’Earlier this week, the Trump administration announced plans to rescind $1.1 billion in federal funding from NPR and PBS.On Wednesday, Stephen Colbert worried that both public media entities are “already operating on a shoestring budget — Daniel Tiger can’t even afford to wear pants.”“And with the administration calling the shots, it could mean changes to public programming. So NPR fans, get ready for ‘Fresh Air’ to become ‘Cough Cough,’ and PBS fans can look forward to ‘Sesame Street: Bert and Ernie Have Wives Now.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The White House says PBS funding does not ‘align with the Trump administration’s priorities,’ including a PBS program from 2022 about a transgender woman who comes out to members of their bowling league in Ohio. OK, well I get that, ’cause America can’t be allowed to find out that trans people bowl. Because then, other trans bowlers might bowl as well, and if the bowling alleys allow — the pins are women, the pins clearly are women, and the balls are boys, if you use two balls, and then, and then, and then where do the fingers go? I’m not sure where that — and the bowling shoe spray turns my feet into women? I don’t … What would the problem be?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Round Trip Edition)“So the plan, as I understand it, I’m sure we’ll get more details, is if you’re an undocumented immigrant, Trump wants you to go home, but if you’re good at home, he will get you back into the country. They will fly you out of the country and then bring you back. Who came up with this plan, Spirit Airlines?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know, usually when Trump offers an immigrant money and plane tickets to go away, it’s because he’s getting divorced. Melania is like, ‘Am I eligible for this?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“[imitating Trump] I mean, what can we do? America is a gentle, passive giant that would never put pressure on a sovereign nation. Now, then, Denmark, suck on these tariffs and gimme-gimme Greenland.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Revels in Harvard’s Rejection of Trump’s Demand

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      “I don’t usually root for Harvard, because they’re Harvard. They’ve got everything. It’s like rooting for Jeff Bezos to win the lottery,” Ronny Chieng said on “The Daily Show.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.What, Like It’s Hard?On Monday, the Trump administration announced it would freeze $2.2 billion in multiyear grants to Harvard after the private university refused to implement requested changes to its hiring, admissions and curriculum.Ronny Chieng adopted a Boston accent on Tuesday’s “Daily Show” to express that Harvard was fighting back “wicked hard.”“We finally found a force more powerful than Trump’s hatred: Harvard’s love of sending rejection letters.” — RONNY CHIENG“Hey, Trump administration, now you’re just like the rest of us because you just got rejected by Harvard.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And who better to determine what colleges should and should not be doing than the man who had to shell out $25 million in penalties for running a fraudulent university he named after himself?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“My money’s on Harvard. I grew up in the ’80s — I’ve seen ‘Revenge of the Nerds.’ I know who wins these things.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But, look, I don’t usually root for Harvard, because they’re Harvard. They’ve got everything. It’s like rooting for Jeff Bezos to win the lottery.” — RONNY CHIENG“The only thing I’ll say in Donald Trump’s defense is that Matt Damon went to Harvard, so they obviously don’t care too much about merit.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Tax Day Edition)“So today’s Tax Day or, as Hunter Biden calls it, any other day of the week.” — GREG GUTFELD“If you’re watching this live, you have 20-ish minutes to get your taxes in before the deadline. And if you’re an IRS worker, you have recently been fired. I’m sorry about that.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Folks, as I mentioned before, it’s Tax Day or, as billionaires call it, ‘What?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Does anyone even work at the IRS anymore? Do we even have to? Our IRS office downtown — they turned it into a Spirit Halloween store.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe actor Finn Wolfhard reflected with Colbert on 10 years of filming “Stranger Things” ahead of the Netflix show’s final season, on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightNo stranger to late night, David Letterman will appear on Wednesday’s “Everybody’s Live with John Mulaney.”Also, Check This OutThe bombing of a federal building in Oklahoma City, on April 19, 1995, remains the deadliest domestic terror attack in U.S. history.Jim Argo/USA Today NetworkThe National Geographic docuseries “Oklahoma City Bombing: One Day in America” recounts the experiences of individuals affected by the attack on the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building 30 years ago. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Updates the Never-Ending Story of the Signal Leak

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      “There are many books and stories to come,” Kimmel said of the Trump administration’s leaky-group-chat scandal, comparing it to the Harry Potter saga.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Incredibly TransparentThe Trump administration’s high-level Signal group chat to which a journalist was somehow invited continued to dominate late night on Thursday.Jimmy Kimmel called the scandal “the never-ending story” and compared it to the Harry Potter saga, saying, “There are many books and stories to come.” News outlets found some of the key players’ personal information online, including the Venmo contacts of Michael Waltz, the national security adviser.“You know how some people feel the need to share their Venmo transactions with everyone they know? Michael Waltz is one of them. He shares his name, there’s a picture of him, and all of his contacts up on Venmo. Even Matt Gaetz was, like, ‘How could you be so careless?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And security issues aside, isn’t it a little bit disturbing that a guy overseeing our national defense, our weapons — our nuclear weapons — is still in the ‘Dude, you owe me $14 for tacos’ phase of his life?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He’s Venmo-ing his doctor? My man, if your doctor takes Venmo, that ain’t a doctor.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This story won’t be going away anytime soon, because Mike Waltz has made a key strategic error: being an idiot everywhere at all times.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Because of how incredibly sloppy they are, a German newspaper, Der Spiegel, was able to find personal email addresses, phone numbers and passwords — some of which seem to be still in use — for Mike Waltz, Tulsi Gabbard and Pete Hegseth. What a group. We have a national security adviser who doesn’t know how to secure, a defensive secretary of defense, a pro-measles secretary of health, and a secretary of education who wants to close the Department of Education.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt, she’s standing firm. She said today the administration has been ‘incredibly transparent about this entire situation.’ Yeah, that’s the problem — they’ve been so transparent, we’ve seen all their information.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Pete Hegseth and Mike Waltz have said and done so many stupid things this week, Trump might have to start calling them Eric and Don Jr.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (McRib Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Can’t Quit the Group Chat

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      “This operation was about as secretive as a Fortnite Twitch stream,” Jimmy Kimmel said of U.S. officials’ leaked discussion of a plan to attack Yemen.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.War Plans or Nah?On Wednesday, The Atlantic published more material from the Signal group chat in which Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth and other officials discussed an imminent attack on Yemen, unaware that The Atlantic’s editor had been added to the group.Jimmy Kimmel called it the “‘Oops, who did I add to this text chain?’ heard ’round the world.” President Trump and others in his administration have denied that the details shared in the chat amounted to “war plans.” “Let’s see. ‘F-18’s launch.’ ‘Target terrorist.’ ‘Strike drones launch.’ ‘More F-18s launch!’ ‘First bombs will definitely drop.’ ‘First sea-based Tomahawks launched.’ Now, I’m not an expert on war — these don’t seem like peace plans to me.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This operation was about as secretive as a Fortnite Twitch stream, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Who could have ever guessed that the host of ‘Weekend Fox and Friends’ would be bad at running the military?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I mean, imagine how lifelong military professionals must feel. If this was the ’90s, this would be like suddenly having to take orders from Kathie Lee.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Thank God we got rid of D.E.I. Now you can rest assured that the idiots in charge were not chosen for their race or gender. They were chosen purely based on being idiots.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Declassified Edition)“This is an unprecedented failure of national security protocols and a grotesque disregard of the safety of American service members. Or, as Donald Trump would say: ‘No it isn’t.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“One defense official said, ‘It is safe to say that anybody in uniform would be court-martialed for this. My most junior analysts know not to do this.’ Yes, everyone understands this. The characters in ‘Fight Club’ understand this. It’s why the first rule of ‘Fight Club’ is ‘Don’t send out an e-vite for Fight Club.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Forget the Punchline. It’s the Setup to These Jokes That’s Tricky.

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      Ronny Chieng, Gary Gulman and other comics are experimenting with long buildups that can be audacious … when they work.A joke can be broken down into two sections: The setup, which isn’t necessarily funny, and the punchline, which better be.Facing a crowd that’s looking to laugh, comics tend to want to get to the payoff as quickly as possible. But there is a rich tradition of jokes that move in the opposite direction, where part of what’s funny is that the setup keeps going and going, long past what you expect.The most famous example might be the Aristocrats, the rare joke that inspired its own documentary. An old bit, it begins with a setup about family members trying to get an agent to book their act and its humor tends to be fundamentally dirty and gratuitous. But in the last year, some of the most ambitious new hours have used the long setup to develop more rarefied kinds of jokes, formally inventive, experimental and very funny.Witness the magnificently unusual joke midway through Ronny Chieng’s recent special, “Love to Hate It” (Netflix), which begins with him trying to find common ground with the MAGA movement, saying its supporters have a point that the country has problems. Slowing his aggressive rat-a-tat delivery, he lists evidence of decline — bad health-care outcomes, wealth inequality — and just when you expect a punchline to lighten the mood, he gets even more serious.Ronny Chieng kills with the long form in “Love to Hate It.”NetflixAdopting the tone of a politician, he says that we did not fulfill the implicit promise that if you worked hard and played by the rules, you could make it. At this point, the comedy seems to have ground to a halt. It’s also when Chieng’s pace shifts, from slow and deliberate to pointedly sped up as he rapidly unspools a grand unified theory. The tempo of his hard-to-follow chatter, which covers tax and trade policy, among other economic minutiae, indicates a departure from logical argument and a venture into the ridiculous. It recalls how everyone from Stanley Kubrick to Benny Hill has used fast forward to create comedy.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More