Colbert, Stephen

“If you thought she was on your TV a lot last night, well, wait till next Sunday,” Fallon said after the pop star’s big night at the Grammys.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Today’s Taylor Swift News’Taylor Swift made Grammy history on Sunday night, winning Album of the Year for a fourth time.“Let’s get to today’s Taylor Swift news,” Jimmy Fallon said at the top of Monday’s monologue, before quipping that everyone else at the Grammys “got an Emmy nomination for acting surprised when she won.”“Yep, Taylor dominated the Grammys. If you thought she was on your TV a lot last night, well, wait till next Sunday.” — JIMMY FALLON, referring to the upcoming Super Bowl“Last night at the Grammys, the big winner was Taylor Swift, who became the first artist to win Album of the Year four times — all for the same album.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Not only did Taylor make Grammys history, she also announced that on April 19, she’s releasing a new album called ‘The Tortured Poets Department.’ Then every other artist releasing an album on April 19 was like, ‘Well, looking more like a June release now.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Rainy Day Edition)“We are getting hit by a biblical amount of rain here in Los Angeles. All around town, they’ve been gathering Kardashians two by two.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know, they closed our kids’ school today because of rain. And this is, I just want to mention, not an outdoor school. There is a roof on the school, but they said it’s too dangerous to come to school, somebody could get wet.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“When I was a kid in Brooklyn, for them to cancel school, there had to be, like, at least six inches of snow, there had to be black ice on the road, and, like, Son of Sam had to be on the loose.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Now, meteorologists say the drastic weather is being caused by something called an atmospheric river, which is also the name of my easy-listening dad band.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Here’s how you know we have a lot of rain: when the L.A. River is actually a river. Usually it’s just a big, empty skateboard park.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“These bizarre weather emergencies are just going to keep happening. We all know the cause. Al Gore warned us about this, and it’s getting worse every year, so I’ll just say it: The witch’s curse!” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel had some thoughts after Donald Trump asked Truth Social users if they thought he looked like Elvis.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe “Feud: Capote vs. the Swans” star Molly Ringwald will talk to Seth Meyers on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThe “Curb Your Enthusiasm” star Larry David.HBOFaithful viewers can test their fandom in this pretty, pretty good “Curb Your Enthusiasm” quiz. More

Is the N.F.L. rigged? Is Taylor Swift a psy-op? Kimmel says that “this nonsense is now everywhere your angry grandpa goes.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Chief ConcernsSupporters of former President Donald Trump are spreading conspiracy theories about the Super Bowl, Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs and his girlfriend, Taylor Swift.“Even this clown who ran for president, Vivek Ramaswamy, added his nut voice to the chorus of cuckoos,” Kimmel said on Tuesday. He pointed to the former G.O.P. candidate’s suggestion that Kelce and Swift were “an artificially culturally propped-up couple” and that the Super Bowl would be rigged, all to get President Biden re-elected.“And it’s not just on Twitter — this nonsense is now everywhere your angry grandpa goes,” Kimmel said, calling the conspiracy theorists “not-too-Swifties.”“The same people who believe Joe Biden has dementia and needs Kamala Harris to feed him butterscotch tapioca every night also believe that he has somehow planned and executed a diabolically brilliant scheme to fix the N.F.L. playoffs so the biggest pop star in the world can pop up on the Jumbotron during the Super Bowl in between a Kia and a Tostitos commercial to hypnotize her 11-year-old fans into voting for Joe Biden. I mean, it makes sense. It makes total sense. These people — these people think football is fake and wrestling is real.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The average price for a ticket to see the Chiefs play the Niners is a little over $12,000 right now. But here’s the thing, it’s not just a football game; it’s also a live game of ‘Where’s Waldo?’ starring Taylor Swift, if you can spot her.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ten grand’s a lot for a football game, but it’s dirt cheap to see Taylor Swift live, I will say that.” — JIMMY FALLON“Nothing like being down ten grand before stepping foot in Vegas, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Where Credit Is Due Edition)“I saw that Trump just took credit for the record-high stock market under Biden. Trump was like, ‘If I had not not lost the election, this never would have happened.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Even crazier, Trump said, ‘Eric and Don Jr.? That’s all Biden’s fault.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Chaos in the Middle East? Biden’s fault. Booming economy? All Donald Trump, three years after he left office! It’s incredible. You know, I’m starting to feel like he might be making some of this stuff up.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Tuesday’s “Late Show,” Emma Stone explained why she wants to compete on the noncelebrity version of “Jeopardy.” What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightLola Tung, star of “The Summer I Turned Pretty,” will sit down with Seth Meyers on Wednesday night ahead of her Broadway debut in “Hadestown.”Also, Check This OutKlaus Biesenbach, director of the Neue Nationalgalerie, and the artist Kandis Williams, a co-curator, at the opening of the exhibition.Andreas Meichsner for The New York TimesAn exhibition in Berlin, “Josephine Baker: Icon in Motion,” highlights the groundbreaking entertainer’s life, career and influence. More

Jimmy Kimmel joked that Donald Trump beat Nikki Haley by 11 points and that he’s “also leading Haley by double digits in felony charges, 91 to zero.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘No Applause?’Former President Donald Trump won the New Hampshire Republican primary on Tuesday, taking 54.3 percent of the vote to Nikki Haley’s 43.3 percent.Jimmy Kimmel kicked off Wednesday night’s show by congratulating Trump on his win. “No applause?” he joked.“He beat Nikki Haley by double digits. He’s also leading Nikki Haley by double digits in felony charges, 91 to zero.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump defeated Nikki Haley 54 to 43. It’s the very first time he’s ever been happy to see a woman in her 40s.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump cruised to victory, and just like most cruises, half the people partied while the other half felt really sick.” — JIMMY FALLON“Meanwhile, before the votes even came in, Nikki Haley made it clear she wasn’t dropping out. Yep, her campaign released a memo that said, ‘We aren’t going anywhere.’ I’m not sure that slogan is going to work: ‘Nikki Haley: We aren’t going anywhere.’” — JIMMY FALLON“But Nikki Haley has no plans to stop; she will not drop out. Last night, she told supporters that the race is far from over, she still has literally dozens of states to lose.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sore Winner Edition)“That’s right, Former President Trump won yesterday’s New Hampshire primary, while Nikki Haley finished second. Haley gave a concession speech, while Trump gave a concussion speech.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump was visibly upset Nikki Haley gave a speech as if she won. He reportedly spent the night seething about it, and I don’t blame him. Pretending you won when you actually lost, it’s his thing; not cool, Nikki.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“[imitating Trump] How dare she act like she won when she lost? I mean, what kind of maniac pretends they won when they really lost?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert offered Gen Z a quick pep talk on the merits of giving blood amid a drop in donations.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJustin Timberlake will pop by to see Jimmy Fallon on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutCindy Sherman at her studio in New York City.Caroline Tompkins for The New York TimesCindy Sherman’s photo-portraits of women assembled digitally from fragmentary parts make up her new show at Hauser & Wirth. More

The now-former presidential candidate “knew it was time to go four months after the rest of us did,” said Jimmy Fallon.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.DeSantis Is HistoryDays after finishing 30 points behind Donald Trump in the Iowa caucuses, Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida bowed out of the presidential race on Sunday.“Yeah, DeSantis knew it was time to go four months after the rest of us did,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Monday.“Florida governor Ron DeSantis announced yesterday that he was suspending his presidential campaign — and this only a few days after Iowa announced it.” — SETH MEYERS“DeSantis met with his advisers, and they were, like, ‘Ron, how do we put this? There’s a better chance of you being a judge on “RuPaul’s Drag Race” than being president of the United States.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, when he saw the latest polls, DeSantis clicked his high heels together three times and said, ‘There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home, there’s no place like home.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s estimated that Ron DeSantis spent $2,263 per vote he got. It literally would have been cheaper to buy each of his supporters a Peloton bike.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I don’t understand why Americans didn’t rally behind a guy who declared war on the Magic Kingdom, attacked trans kids, denied Covid, kidnapped migrants and flew them to Martha’s Vineyard, and ate pudding with his fingers.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This is one of the most spectacular political crash-and-burns of all time. At least DeSantis doesn’t have to worry about banning history books anymore, because he won’t be in them.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, it’s been a real roller coaster ride for DeSantis. But he said he’s happy, ’cause at least with this roller coaster, he was tall enough to ride.” — JIMMY FALLON“So now the field has been narrowed down to Nikki Haley and nobody else, living every woman’s nightmare: being left alone with Donald Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Not Winston Churchill Edition)“DeSantis posted a video announcing that he was dropping out, and during it he attributed a quote about failure to Winston Churchill, but Churchill never actually said it. See, this is what happens when you ban textbooks.” — JIMMY FALLON“The International Churchill Society says on its website, ‘We can find no attribution for the quote, and it is found nowhere in his canon.’ Now, I know a lot of people are saying DeSantis could have fact-checked that in one of the books he banned, but that’s not fair. To quote Winston Churchill, ‘you can also just [expletive] Google it.’” — SETH MEYERSWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?  More

“He can’t even control an umbrella,” Seth Meyers said of the former president on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Get Ahold of YourselfA judge threatened to remove Donald Trump from court on Wednesday after he could be heard muttering disparaging comments during E. Jean Carroll’s second defamation suit against the former president.“A judge actually had to tell a former president of the United States, ‘You can’t control yourself,’” Seth Meyers said on Thursday. “He can’t even control an umbrella.”“Things are so crazy right now. In a year, Trump is either going to be president again, or we’re going to see him in Times Square offering to take pictures with tourists next to Elmo and Spider-Man.” — SETH MEYERS“Now, you’re probably saying, didn’t that trial already happen? Yeah, it did. We also already did Trump versus Biden. Get used to everything happening twice. Get used to everything happening twice.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, Trump doesn’t believe he should be held accountable for anything. At 2 a.m., he scream-posted ‘A president of the United States must have full immunity, without which it would be impossible for him/her to properly function.’ No, Trump doesn’t believe in any accountability. He believes the presidency should be like the movie ‘The Purge,’ which is why he’s always wearing that weird leather pig mask.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It is nice to hear him being inclusive. [imitating Trump] ‘I believe the president, whether it be him or her, Hispanic or Her-spanic, should have a private kill squad to take out those who dare speak against him.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This is not a man who has any moral limitations, so I can’t imagine what he means by saying he should be allowed to cross the line. What’s he going to do, imprison his political opponents? Chop off California and sell it to Russia? Outlaw umbrellas?” — SETH MEYERS“This is the kind of thing that should end with Trump in prison or, best case, living alone in a motel by the racetrack. But every time he gets worse, his poll numbers get better, which explains his new 2024 slogan: ‘Welcome to Hell.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Kissing Cousins Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber?  More