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      Jimmy Fallon Weighs in on Trump’s Health Report

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      The “Tonight Show” host questioned the checkup results, saying that “Trump’s the only guy who gets his cardio in by storming out of courtrooms.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Picture of HealthOn Monday, former President Donald Trump released a statement from his doctor that declared him to be in “excellent health.” The vague report declared that Trump had lost weight through “an improved diet and daily physical activity” and that his “physical exams were well within the normal range and his cognitive exams were exceptional.”Jimmy Fallon questioned the report on Tuesday, joking that “Trump’s the only guy who gets his cardio in by storming out of courtrooms.”“[pretending to read the note] Donald is in excellent health, the most health a man can ever have, that I can tell you. Doctor.” — JIMMY FALLON“In a newly released letter, former President Trump’s physician said his overall health is excellent and his physical exams are within normal range. But take that with a grain of salt, because the letter also said his coat is shiny and he’s negative for heartworms.” — SETH MEYERS“Sure, we all know Donald Trump is the picture of health — specifically, the “before” picture.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They also said that Trump’s cognitive exams were exceptional. All I know is when your friend is, like, ‘Guys, I took a cognitive exam, and everything’s fine,’ that usually means the opposite.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Remixed Edition)“During the White House turkey pardon yesterday, President Biden appeared to mix up Taylor Swift and Britney Spears, and, just like that, lost 30 million votes.” — SETH MEYERS“Wow, that’s almost as bad as the time former President Trump called Tim Cook ‘Tim Apple,’ thought Frederick Douglass was alive, called Second Corinthians ‘Two Corinthians,’ called Kevin McCarthy ‘Steve,’ called Paul Ryan ‘Ron,’ walked out of an executive order ceremony after forgetting to sign an executive order, and suggested injecting bleach to kill Covid.” — SETH MEYERS“Fortunately for all of us, Biden apologized immediately. Here’s what he said. He said, ‘I want to apologize to Taylor Swift and Britney Spears for my little mix-up. I obviously know who they are. Taylor, I’ve been a fan ever since you said you ‘Ain’t No Hollaback Girl.’ Seriously, not to quote your own songs back at you, but your music sets ‘Fire to the Rain.’ Britney, you touched all of our hearts in ‘Evita’ when you sang ‘Don’t Cry for Me Argentina.’ I love your work so much it hurts. I guess you could say I have a ‘Bad Romance’ with it. So I hope you accept my apology, Saylor and Tritney, two of the people I am definitely aware of.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.We are confirming your access to this article, this will take just a moment. However, if you are using Reader mode please log in, subscribe, or exit Reader mode since we are unable to verify access in that state.Confirming article access.If you are a subscriber, please  More

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      David Letterman Reclaims His Desk at ‘The Late Show’

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      Eight years after retiring from the CBS show, the former late-night host sat down with his successor, Stephen Colbert.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Better Late Than NeverDavid Letterman returned to the Ed Sullivan Theater on Monday night for the first time in eight years.“My guest tonight certainly needs no introduction,” Stephen Colbert said before bringing Letterman out. The former “Late Show” host received extended cheers and enthusiastic chants of “Da-vid!” from the crowd.“I will say this is the most enthusiastic audience I have been near since the night I announced I was quitting,” Letterman said.Colbert asked Letterman if there was anything he missed, and the former host answered, “everything.”“Mostly, it’s fun. Very few things in life provide one the opportunity — and I can’t speak for you on this topic — but for me, if you muck one up, 24 hours later, you get to try again. And that’s a pretty good device.” — DAVID LETTERMANThey both recalled a meeting before Letterman handed over the reins to Colbert in 2015, and the former “Late Show” host shared his admiration for Colbert and his team’s tenure thus far, saying they made the job look easy.“I will pass that on to the entire staff, but you and I both know it’s really the host,” Colbert joked.At the end of the interview, Letterman asked if he could take a photo behind the old desk, and Colbert acquiesced before snapping a selfie of the two, who shared both a handshake and a hug by the end.“By the way, in my day, I never would have let this happen,” Letterman said, assuming his former seat. “I’m sorry. Thank you.”The Punchiest Punchlines (HBD, President Biden Edition)“President Biden turned 81 today despite his campaign staff specifically advising him not to.” — SETH MEYERS“Every time Joe Biden has a birthday, it feels like a — like a political misstep. It’s like, why would you do that? You’re old enough!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, President Biden today celebrated his 81st birthday, but not as much as Republicans did.” — SETH MEYERS“Joe Biden’s 60th birthday is now old enough to drink.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“There were so many candles on his cake, I thought it was another Canadian wildfire.” — DULCÉ SLOAN, guest host of “The Daily Show”The Bits Worth WatchingThe security-guard-turned-sidekick Guillermo Rodriguez took on the red carpet and the racetrack at the Formula 1 Las Vegas Grand Prix for a segment on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe fashion designer and “Real Housewives of New York” star Jenna Lyons will appear on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutDanielle Brooks, left, and Sam Jay.Daniel Terna“The Color Purple” star Danielle Brooks and the comedian Sam Jay discussed impostor syndrome and women in comedy for T: The New York Times Style Magazine. More

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      Seth Meyers Skewers George Santos for Botox and OnlyFans Spending

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      The “Late Night” host joked that Santos’s campaign fund-supported spending looks like “the shopping list of a 98-year-old oil tycoon’s 20-year-old wife.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not George Santos!A House ethics investigation into George Santos found that the Republican representative spent campaign money on personal items like Botox, lavish trips to Atlantic City, and purchases on OnlyFans.On Thursday, Seth Meyers joked that Santos has “the shopping list of a 98-year-old oil tycoon’s 20-year-old wife.”“Is he a congressman or a lesser Kardashian?” — SETH MEYERS“Even his fellow Republicans are calling for his expulsion, including the few who stuck by him before this report. He alienated his only fans by spending money on OnlyFans.” — SETH MEYERS“Not the man that prevented 9/11!” — LESLIE JONES, guest host of “The Daily Show”“Santos got caught spending campaign money on Botox and OnlyFans. And this is on top of him stealing credit cards, wire fraud and identity theft. When he goes to jail, and they ask him, ‘What are you in for?’ he’s going to be, like, ‘Everything!’” — LESLIE JONES“How do you spend money on lavish trips to Atlantic City? Have you been to Atlantic City? A lavish trip there just means that you don’t go home with bed bugs.” — LESLIE JONES“I got to say, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard a trip to Atlantic City described as lavish. Drunk, terrifying, or grounds for divorce — but never lavish.” — SETH MEYERS“The halls are closing in on George. The long-awaited ethics report on Santos came out today. Investigators found what they call ‘substantial evidence’ of criminal wrongdoing. The report claims that, among other things, Santos used campaign funds on personal items like Sephora cosmetics, trips to Atlantic City, and even OnlyFans. Turns out they don’t sell fans at all. The name of the site is very misleading.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The report dropped this morning and reveals that Santos ‘sought to fraudulently exploit every aspect of his House candidacy for his own personal and financial profit,’ and declares that he ‘warrants public condemnation, is beneath the dignity of the office, and has brought severe discredit upon the House.’ That is not easy to do. That is — that’s quite an accomplishment. That is a high chalk mark, because these days, the dignity of the House is slightly below a Golden Corral that just ran out of steak.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (President on President Edition)“President Biden and Chinese President Xi Jinping agreed yesterday to re-establish military communications. It’s what Biden is calling the greatest U.S.-China collaboration since ‘Rush Hour.’” — SETH MEYERS“Both men met for over four hours and, by all accounts, they really hit it off. That’s great news for Biden, because usually when something lasts for over four hours, he has to immediately call a doctor.” — JIMMY FALLON“President Xi said China wants to be a ‘partner and friend’ to the United States. Even said he’d send us new pandas for our national zoo. They’d taken our pandas back, now we’re getting the pandas — and, in return, we’ve agreed to send China two of the lesser Kardashians. I think it’s Rob and one of the cousins that lives in Topeka, or something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Biden wished President Xi’s wife a happy birthday, and President Xi was reportedly embarrassed because he had forgotten about his wife’s birthday. And that’s why we call him ‘President Steal Your Girl.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn her last night guest hosting “The Daily Show,” Leslie Jones challenged New Yorkers to say nice things about public figures like Ron DeSantis, Vladimir Putin and Marjorie Taylor Greene.Also, Check This OutNicole Newnham’s new film about Shere Hite rescues the researcher from the margins of feminist history with both style and substance.Mike Wilson/IFC FilmsNicole Newnham’s documentary, “The Disappearance of Shere Hite,” charts the life and times of a pioneering feminist researcher. More

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      Stephen Colbert Sums Up Biden’s Meeting with China’s President: ‘He Said, Xi Said’

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      Colbert said President Biden and China’s leader, Xi Jinping, had a lot to catch up on: “trade tensions, global flash points, who got hot over the summer.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘He Said, Xi Said’President Biden met with his Chinese counterpart, Xi Jinping, in San Francisco on Wednesday.Stephen Colbert pointed out that the two leaders last met a year ago, so they would “have so much to talk about: trade tensions, global flash points, who got hot over the summer. Spoiler alert: neither of them!”“Now, before the meeting, both sides tried to play it cool, and set expectations low. In fact, both countries said that whatever happened, both Biden and Xi would not put out a joint statement after the meeting. So it’s just going to be a case of ‘He said, Xi said.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Ahead of their meeting, Biden said, ‘We’re not trying to decouple from China. What we’re trying to do is change the relationship for the better.” In other words, for those of you who don’t follow international affairs, we’re Chris Martin and China is Gwyneth Paltrow and we’re just trying to raise a TikTok kid together, you know?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“China has a good reason to want to talk to America, and it’s cash. For the past few years, China’s economy has been struggling, with anemic consumer spending and high youth unemployment. It’s gotten so bad that second-graders can’t get a job at the iPhone factory.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Things are shaky right now between the U.S. and China. This is the diplomatic version of a married couple dropping the kids at the in-laws to spend the night at a hotel, see if they can get things back on track. And I think these guys have known each other for a long time. President Xi is just happy to meet a president who doesn’t call his country ‘Gyna.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Congressional Fight Club Edition)“Former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy denied claims yesterday that he elbowed Republican Congressman Tim Burchett in the back and added ‘If I would hit somebody, they would know I hit them.’ I assume ’cause his fist would bruise.” — SETH MEYERS“[imitating Kevin McCarthy] If I hit him, he’d be on the ground. Then I’d kick him, and I’d take his bike, and his Pokemon cards, and his girlfriend would be my girlfriend, and then people would like me.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Listen, I know what it’s like to want to fight a co-worker. But don’t do that at work — you wait for them in the parking lot like a responsible adult!” — LESLIE JONES, guest host of “The Daily Show”The Bits Worth WatchingThe director Taika Waititi played a game with Jimmy Fallon inspired by his new film “Next Goal Wins” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightComedian Maria Bamford will discuss her new memoir, “Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutIn “Scene Partners,” Eric Berryman is among the nimble supporting cast and Dianne Wiest is a pleasure to watch as she makes her character’s innocence and bloodthirstiness equally believable, equally fresh, our critic writes. Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesIn the new play “Scene Partners,” Dianne Wiest stars as a 75-year-old woman who sets out to be a star. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Calls Tumultuous Senate Hearing ‘U.F.C.-SPAN’

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      Late night hosts couldn’t resist joking about Senator Markwayne Mullin challenging the Teamsters leader Sean M. O’Brien to a brawl.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘U.F.C.-SPAN’Senator Markwayne Mullin, Republican of Oklahoma, challenged Sean M. O’Brien, the president of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters, to a physical fight during a Senate committee hearing on Tuesday.Jimmy Kimmel joked that the hearing had turned into “U.F.C.-SPAN all of a sudden.” Senator Bernie Sanders, independent of Vermont and the chairman of the panel, had to step in and demand the two behave like U.S. lawmakers.“Grandpa Bernie is about to turn this car around, and then nobody is going to Six Flags.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That isn’t the first time Bernie Sanders was forced to play the role of peacemaker. You know, when he was originally elected to the Senate, he tried to convince Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton to hug it out, and that didn’t work, either. That didn’t end well at all.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“[imitating Bernie Sanders] Zip it, Bunson Honeydew! Sit down, or I will come over there and redistribute the top 10 percent of my fist to 99 percent of your face! I will split your lip like pea soup! Don’t make me take off my mittens!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I knew this dude was trouble from the moment I heard his name, Markwayne, all one word. His parents — his parents didn’t even love him enough to pick one single name for him. They just shoved two names together and called it a day.” — LESLIE JONES, guest host of “The Daily Show”“‘Calm down, Markwayne,’ isn’t some [expletive] I want to hear on C-SPAN — it’s what you hear when you watch an episode of ‘Cops.’” — LESLIE JONES“If there’s going to be a fight, I’d like to warn that senator: You look pretty big, but, historically, people who take on the Teamsters end up with season tickets to Giants Stadium … underneath the end zone.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Season’s Greetings Edition)“Ahead of Thanksgiving, the T.S.A. just announced that they’re predicting the busiest holiday travel season ever. Yeah, and this was a classy move — Southwest cut right to the chase and canceled all their flights.” — JIMMY FALLON“More than 30 million Americans are expected to travel by plane over the holiday, and every one of them is in your boarding group.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Apparently, the airport is going to be so busy that LaGuardia might even buy a second gray bin.” — JIMMY FALLON“And if the government shuts down next week — which it looks like it won’t — thousands of T.S.A. employees and air traffic controllers would be forced to work without pay. Just the people you want disgruntled, right? The ones telling you which way to point the plane you’re in.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingViola Davis discussed her new role in “The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes” on the “Tonight Show” on Tuesday.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe actress Julianne Moore of “May December” will appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This Out“I just like messing with instruments, and I gravitated mostly toward wind,” André 3000 said in a statement about his new album.Kai ReganAndré 3000, the artist best known as one-half of Outkast, will release “New Blue Sun” on Friday. It is a surprise solo album of ambient woodwind compositions. More

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      Late Night Isn’t Sad to See the Presidential Hopeful Tim Scott Go

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      Jimmy Fallon joked that the Republican senator’s decision to suspend his presidential campaign “has really shaken up the race for fifth place.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not-So-Great ScottRepublican presidential hopeful Tim Scott dropped out of the race on Sunday.On Monday, Jimmy Fallon joked that “everyone responded by saying, ‘That’s too bad’ and, ‘Who is that again?’”“If you don’t know who Tim Scott is, it’s why he decided to suspend his campaign for president.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But the announcement has really shaken up the race for fifth place.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, he knew it was the right decision when absolutely no one tried to talk him out of it.” — JIMMY FALLON“Not everybody in the news is going to be living happily ever after, because we just learned that South Carolina Senator Tim Scott has dropped out of the 2024 presidential race — which means [audience groans] I know, which means I can now confirm Tim Scott was in the 2024 presidential race.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“South Carolina Senator Tim Scott announced that he has suspended his presidential campaign in a Fox News interview yesterday, and said he thinks the voters are telling him, ‘Not now, Tim.’ And I think he made the right call because half of them said, ‘Not now, Jim.’” — SETH MEYERS“‘Not now’ is an interesting way to describe a total loss. It’s like saying, ‘Doctor, how was the surgery? Is my husband alive?’ ‘Uh, not now. Not now, but he has high hopes for 2028.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Karma Edition)“On Saturday night, Travis Kelce went to Taylor Swift’s concert in Argentina, and during Taylor’s performance of ‘Karma,’ she changed the words of the song to say, ‘Karma is the guy on the Chiefs coming straight home to me.’ Yeah, she changed it to be about a guy on the Chiefs. Meanwhile, the Chiefs’ punter Tommy Townsend was like, ‘Oh, my God, is Taylor singing about me?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Actually, it’s a little embarrassing. She got that one wrong. ‘Karma’ is not the guy on the Chiefs; Kelce is the guy on the Chiefs. Here’s a tip, Taylor. Their names are on the back of the shirts.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I mean, she is on tour around the world and still makes it to his games on Sundays. He’s in the middle of a football season and he’s flying to Buenos Aires. They’re making it very hard for every other couple that’s in a long-distance relationship right now: ‘Oh, you can’t make it to my mom’s house for Thanksgiving this year? Travis flew to Singapore for Taylor!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And then after the show, she comes offstage, and he’s there. She runs, jumped into his arms, and then he ran her back 57 yards for a touchdown. It was incredible.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert dreamed himself into a “The Way We Were” scenario with his special guest Barbra Streisand on Monday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe NBC political correspondent Steve Kornacki will sit down with the “Daily Show” guest host Leslie Jones on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutElizabeth Debicki as Diana, the Princess of Wales, in Season 6 of “The Crown.” The first four episodes focus on the run-up to, and aftermath of, Diana’s death.Daniel Escale/NetflixThe first four episodes in the final season of Netflix’s royal drama, “The Crown,” explore the lead-up to and fallout from the 1997 car accident that killed Princess Diana. More

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      Late Night Celebrates George Santos Sticking Around

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      Jimmy Kimmel was selfishly thrilled that the House voted to keep the New York representative in office, saying Santos “will live to scam another day.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Santa Came Early for SantosRepresentative George Santos of New York will keep his seat after a Republican-led effort to expel him failed in the House on Wednesday.Late night hosts expressed their gratitude, with Jimmy Kimmel thrilled that Santos “will live to scam another day.”“It’s bittersweet because, on one hand, having a brazen liar like this in Congress is not great for the country or for his district back in New York. But, on the other hand, it’s so good for our monologue. I mean, it’s — it is solid gold, and I really want to thank everybody for keeping him around a little while longer.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You’re telling me, after all the corruption, the fraud, the money laundering, the identity theft, the fake volleyball, the mystery baby, the fake Hannah Montana, the fake Spider-Man, that Congress decided to not expel George Santos? Well, I have only one thing to say to you: Thank you! I need this. He may be a crazy criminal, but compared to all the other criminals, he’s fun!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Santos celebrated his stay of execution by going out to a nice dinner and charging it to some old lady’s credit card.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trumps on Trial Edition)“Now, in Trump’s New York financial fraud trial, which is going on presently, the court is hearing testimony from Ivanka, Don Jr. and Eric. Or as Trump calls them ‘The pretty one, the smart one, my favorite, Don Jr., and Eric.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I haven’t seen a more likable set of brothers on trial since the Menendez boys.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Both Don Jr. and Eric claim they couldn’t remember much about any of this stuff. Eric repeatedly said, ‘I don’t focus on the financial side of things.’ He said — and this was his real answer — he said, ‘I pour concrete.’ He said that several times, he said, ‘I’m not a money guy, I’m a construction guy.’ He’s a construction guy like the guy in the Village People is a construction guy. He owns a yellow hat.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s actually convenient that all of the Trumps have testified now ’cause they’re going to use the courtroom sketches for their holiday card.” — JIMMY FALLON“Then Eric Trump took the stand and also claimed ignorance. He had to — he was under oath.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Their father was not there to cheer his sons on. Donald Trump — really, Donald Trump not showing up to watch his kids testify in a fraud trial is the Trump family version of not showing up for their school play.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn his last night guest-hosting “The Daily Show,” Charlamagne Tha God spoke with Doug Melville, the author of “Invisible Generals,” about documenting the untold stories of America’s first Black generals.Also, Check This OutTracey Emin at her studio in Margate, England. “I think people weren’t sure that I was sincere,” she said. “And I hope now maybe they’ll see that I am.”Charlie Gates for The New York TimesArtist Tracey Emin returns to New York with her first solo show in seven years, “Lovers Grave.” More

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      Taylor Tomlinson to Host New CBS Late-Night Show after ‘Colbert’

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      The popular comedian will take over the show, which is based on “@midnight,” at a time when the job is being held only by men.In a shake-up of the late-night television landscape, the stand-up comic Taylor Tomlinson, 29, will take over the time slot after “The Late Show With Stephen Colbert” on CBS. The move makes her not just the only woman in the job on a late-night show on network television now, but also the youngest by two decades.Tomlinson will serve as host of “After Midnight,” based on “@midnight With Chris Hardwick,” a series that premiered on Comedy Central in 2013 and was canceled four years later. That show, with Hardwick as the host, featured a panel of comics.Among the executive producers of the new show is Stephen Colbert, who announced the news on his program on Wednesday. Tomlinson will start in 2024.The comedian, who is based in Los Angeles, is a film and television novice, but in a very short time, has become one of the most acclaimed and popular stand-up acts in the country, building on the strength of two specials on Netflix, “Quarter-Life Crisis” and “Look at You.” She is currently on a global tour of big theaters.She got her start performing as a teenager and played the church circuit early on. Her big break on Netflix came courtesy of a 15-minute set on “The Comedy Lineup” in 2018. Her next special will premiere on the streaming service in February.Tomlinson is essentially filling the position vacated when James Corden retired from “The Late Late Show” earlier this year. Before him, Craig Ferguson and Tom Snyder had served as hosts of programs that followed “The Late Show With David Letterman.”The list of women getting such opportunities on network television is extremely short. Joan Rivers was the first in the modern era, becoming host of a short-lived Fox series in 1986. In 2019, Lilly Singh replaced Carson Daly in the late-late slot on NBC. But when that show went off the air in 2021, network television became an all-male club. More