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      Late Night Ponders Ron DeSantis’s Choice of Footwear

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      “You know your campaign is going terribly wrong when people only want to talk about your shoes,” the guest host said of rumors that DeSantis wears lifts to appear taller.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Must Be This Tall to RideThe Florida governor and presidential hopeful Ron DeSantis shot down rumors this week that he wears lifts in his shoes or heels to make him appear taller.“You know your campaign is going terribly wrong when people only want to talk about your shoes,” said Charlamagne Tha God, guest host of this week’s “The Daily Show.”“[imitating reporter] Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ll get to Israel-Palestine in a second. First, what the [expletive] is up with those boots, bro?’” — CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD“We need a short president, anyway. People always talk about Napoleon complexes. Well, that guy ruled the entire continent. Abraham Lincoln was tall and he got shot in the head, so you tell me — you tell me who is more successful.” — CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD“But at least now I know why DeSantis is in that huge fight with Disney: It’s not because of wokeness; it’s because you got to be this tall to ride the Magic Teacups.” — CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD“One of the most important qualities we consider when choosing a leader is that person’s height. That’s why I’ve been pushing for a President Kareem for many, many years.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But it does seem that Ron DeSantis may be wearing heels. I tell you what, throw in a tube of lipstick, and suddenly it’s illegal to teach kids in Florida public schools about their own governor.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Halloween Edition)“Happy Halloween, everyone. As you can see, I’m dressed as the scariest thing there is: an intelligent Black man with an opinion.” — CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD“It’ll look less like Halloween and more like the Running of the Barbies today.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s a great day to ride the subway and try to figure out who’s covered in fake blood and who’s just covered in the regular kind.” — SETH MEYERS“The website CandyStore.com recently released a list of the most popular candy in the country, including Sour Patch Kids in New York, Butterfingers in Massachusetts, and Marlboro Reds in Florida.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingThe British band Depeche Mode performed “My Favourite Stranger” from their album “Memento Mori” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe actor Henry Winkler will discuss his new memoir, “Being Henry: The Fonz … and Beyond,” with Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutSunday’s reading of “The Autobiography of Malcolm X” featured more than 70 participants, including the actors April Matthis, left, Christopher-Rashee Stevenson, Peter Townsend and Courtney B. Vance.Elliott Jerome Brown Jr. for The New York TimesThe Metropolitan Opera House staged an 18-hour, all-star reading of Malcolm X’s autobiography last Sunday ahead of Anthony Davis’ opera “X,” opening this Friday. More

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      Late Night Bids Adieu to Mike Pence’s Presidential Campaign

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      Stephen Colbert said he was surprised to learn that the former vice president had been running for the White House. “It hadn’t registered,” he said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Prayers AnsweredFormer Vice President Mike Pence ended his presidential campaign on Saturday, telling a crowd of supporters in Las Vegas, “It’s become clear to me that this is not my time.”On Monday, Stephen Colbert said that Pence’s time was 1692. “His place: Salem. His job: Man Who Shoves Woman Into River to See if She’s a Witch,” Colbert joked.“Now, I don’t know about you, but I was very surprised … that Mike Pence was running for president. It hadn’t registered.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Over the weekend, Mike Pence officially suspended his 2024 presidential campaign, right? Which raises an interesting question: Can you stop something that never started?” — JIMMY FALLON“Mike Pence dropped out to spend more time in a separate bedroom from his wife.” — CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD, guest host of “The Daily Show”“I will say, though, is it really ending your campaign when your campaign never got off the ground to begin with? It’s like turning down sex when you have erectile dysfunction, like, the choice was made for you already, my guy.” — CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD“Pence said he prayed over the decision, which is not surprising. After all, he titled his campaign launch memoir, ‘So Help Me God.’ God responded with his own book, ‘New Phone, Who Dis?’ Not very nice. He got ghosted. He got ghosted by the Holy Ghost.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Mike Pence made this announcement from the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas. I didn’t know Mother even allowed him to go to Las Vegas.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sioux Close Edition)“While speaking at a campaign event yesterday in Sioux City, Iowa, former President Trump mistakenly referred to the South Dakota city of Sioux Falls. Well, that’s it, he’s got to be done now, right? I mean, 91 felony charges is one thing, but you can’t mix up the Siouxs.” — SETH MEYERS“Ooh, Sioux close, yet Sioux far away.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Biden was like, ‘Someone help that poor old man. He’s confused and disoriented.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Even the biggest Trump supporters are thinking, ‘Maybe those gag orders are a good idea.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It makes sense that he was confused: It was the first time in months he’s been in a room without a jury.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe comedian Nelson Franklin played George Santos for a segment poking fun at the disgraced House representative on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightDepeche Mode will perform on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.’Also, Check This OutGeorgette SmithIn her new memoir “The Woman in Me,” Britney Spears reclaims her life, her story and herself. More

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      Stephen Colbert Calls Out Mike Johnson’s First Fail

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      The “Late Show” host chided the new House speaker for offering little more than thoughts and prayers to survivors of the Maine shooting on his first day in office.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Major FailAddressing tragedies like mass shootings has become a regular part of late night. On Thursday night, Stephen Colbert spoke about a shooting in Lewiston, Maine, that killed 18 people and injured 13 others on Wednesday.“Some people are going to say ‘This is a mental health issue,’ others are going to say, ‘It’s a gun issue,’ but there’s no reason it can’t be both,” Colbert said. “For instance, some people are going to look at this tragedy and say, ‘We don’t have enough guns in America.’ That alone proves some of us are mentally ill.”Colbert pointed out that most Americans want bans on assault-style weapons and for Congress to take action to prevent more mass shootings, yet no one on either side of the aisle has successfully stopped them from happening.“So, ask your representative, ‘What will you do?’ If they don’t have an answer immediately at hand, if they say it’s too soon to talk about this, that means they’ve never really given it any serious thought. Because they’ve had plenty of time since Uvalde and Marjory Stoneman Douglas and Sandy Hook and the Pulse nightclub. So if they don’t have an answer now, they will never have an answer.” — STEPHEN COLBERTHe expressed disappointment over a lack of new ideas from recently elected House speaker Mike Johnson, “a self-professed devoutly religious man,” who offered little comfort to Americans in a statement during his first day in office, which amounted to little more than thoughts and prayers.“We’re already capable of hope and prayer ourselves. You’re capable of governing, theoretically. And I’m sorry if that sounds like too hard of a job for you. If that seems like too hard of a job, you know who’s really got a hard job now? The people in Lewiston, Maine.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And there are very few people like Mainers. I know Mainers. I love Mainers. They’re strong people. They’ve got Moxie — literally, it’s the name of the official state soft drink. It tastes like carbonated cough syrup, but they drink it anyway, ’cause Mainers are tough. These are people whose idea of a beach is a collection of jagged rocks near freezing water. Their state flower, the Maine state flower — and this is true — is a frickin’ pine cone!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And I dare anyone in power to show a fraction of the courage of all the families who have faced their tragedies and faced our failure to change.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Getting to Know You Edition)“Republicans yesterday elected Mike Johnson the 56th speaker of the House, which is crazy ’cause a month ago, we were only at 12.” — SETH MEYERS“Meanwhile, earlier today, Mike Johnson met with President Biden for the first time since becoming speaker. Johnson is pretty famous for being an election denier, so it got pretty awkward when he said, ‘Good to meet you, ‘President Biden. ’” — JIMMY FALLON“But the meeting was very friendly. Biden even invited Johnson to pet his dog.” — JIMMY FALLON“Biden told a story about his days in Congress, and by the time it was over, Johnson was already voted out as speaker.” — JIMMY FALLON“Johnson is also extremely anti-LGBTQ, saying: ‘Homosexual marriage is the dark harbinger of chaos and sexual anarchy that could doom even the strongest republic.’ If you’re doin’ it right.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingThe comedian Jeff Ross dressed down kids in Halloween costumes for “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutCailee Spaeny in “Priscilla.”Sabrina Lantos/A24Adapted from Priscilla Presley’s 1985 memoir, “Elvis and Me,” Sofia Coppola’s new film, “Priscilla,” re-examines the King from his young wife’s point of view. More

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      Speaker Mike Johnson Is Butt of Late Night Comedy

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      Stephen Colbert called the new House speaker “the most generic-sounding congressional leader since the election of Speaker James Kirkland Brand.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Who is Mike Johnson?After three weeks of Republicans struggling to agree on a nominee, Representative Mike Johnson of Louisiana was voted speaker of the House on Wednesday.“Our long national nightmare is finally different,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday. He called Mr. Johnson “the most generic-sounding congressional leader since the election of Speaker James Kirkland Brand.”Jimmy Kimmel joked that the House “swiped way right” on Johnson, who he remarked couldn’t be definitively “the best Mike Johnson they could have chosen.”“There’s Mike Johnson from Louisiana. He’s a Republican state representative who may have been a better Johnson overall. Mike Johnson might not make the list of the top 10 Mike Johnsons. You have quadruple Olympic gold medalist Mike Johnson, you’ve got Canadian bodybuilder Mike Johnson, you’ve got Swedish chef Mike Johnson, who would made everyone little meatballs every day. You could’ve given the gavel to any one of the at least five Mike Johnsons from the N.F.L., or even country music’s No. 1 Black yodeler Mike Johnson would have been great.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You could go to the middle of the phone book and pick any of the hundreds of Mike Johnsons — each one would be a better choice for speaker, because not one of them tried to overthrow the presidential election in the House he now represents.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Wow, the speaker race was so embarrassing, they’re not even giving their real names any more. Mike Johnson is the name you give when you check into a motel with your mistress. That’s what Spirit Halloween calls their Michael Jackson costume.” — SETH MEYERS“But what we do know is that he wants nationwide limits on abortion, he wants to criminalize gay sex, and he even wants to ban reggaeton. All right, I’m lying on the last one, but that seems like his vibe.” — DESUS NICE, guest host of “The Daily Show”“Johnson was just elected this afternoon, getting votes from all 220 Republicans. Finally, a man who appeals to all factions of the Republican Party: the MAGA faithful, the social conservatives, the white nationalists, and the horny Beetlejuice goblins.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (More Mike Johnson Jokes Edition)“The House of Representatives voted today to elect Louisiana Congressman Mike Johnson speaker of the House. And apparently, this election result he will accept.” — SETH MEYERS“Now, if you don’t know Mike Johnson, don’t worry — nobody else does.” — DESUS NICE“That’s right, the new speaker of the house is Mike Johnson, and if that name sounds familiar, it’s ’cause it’s on every fake ID.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Republicans said Mike Johnson is their first choice, after the first 10 choices lost.” — JIMMY FALLON“Let’s just say if speaker nominees were Halloween candy, this guy’s a Necco Wafer.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s like being at a restaurant and hearing, ‘Do you have Coke?’ ‘No.’ ‘Pepsi?’ ‘No.’ ‘Sprite?’ ‘No.’ ‘Fine, I guess I’ll have the Mike Johnson.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingSydney Colson, a two-time W.N.B.A. champion, talked about her team, the Las Vegas Aces, and her unscripted comedy series, “The Syd + TP Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe horror filmmaker John Carpenter will sit down with Stephen Colbert on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutLauren Halsey, an artist with David Kordansky Gallery in Los Angeles, will be represented worldwide by Gagosian Gallery. She is a passionate collector of objects, gathered from her neighborhood.via Lauren Halsey, David Kordansky Gallery and Gagosian; Photo by Russell HamiltonThe activist artist Lauren Halsey has found a way to combine community and commercial success with her work. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: ‘Altoids Last Longer Than These Republican Nominees’

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      “This morning, I didn’t even know who Tom Emmer was,” Kimmel said about a short-lived candidate for House speaker. “Now, I still don’t. I have no idea.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘You Will Be Googled’Representative Tom Emmer, Republican of Minnesota, was nominated for speaker of the House on Tuesday before withdrawing because of a lack of support from the right.Jimmy Kimmel joked that it was just the latest history-making delay of the House “ungaveling before our eyes.”“In the history of our country, there has never been a situation like this. And there’s nothing in the Constitution that covers it, because the founding fathers, as forward-thinking as they were, never imagined such a large group of elected officials being so unbelievably dumb.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This morning, I didn’t even know who Tom Emmer was. Now, I still don’t. I have no idea.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“According to people I pay to care about it, Emmer is the House majority whip. He sits on the Financial Services Committee, and, perhaps most notably, he got two D.U.I.s, then sponsored legislation to lower the legal penalties that face accused drunk drivers. OK, so a little self-serving? He also introduced H.R. 2435: That Mailbox Was Already Knocked Down.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Altoids last longer than these Republican nominees.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Martin Scorsese’s out here making movies that last longer than speaker candidates.” — DESUS NICE, guest host of “The Daily Show”“Farewell, Tom Emmer. You will be Googled.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“At this point, I’d call the G.O.P. a clown car, but clowns go to college.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Who Flips Next? Edition)“Trump 2020 campaign lawyer Jenna Ellis pleaded guilty today to a criminal charge in the Georgia election interference case, making her former President Trump’s fourth co-defendant of the trial to plead guilty. So I guess, in the end, he did teach them all ‘The Art of the Deal.’” — SETH MEYERS“That’s three Trump lawyers in one week! Which leads us to America’s favorite new game show: ‘Who … Flips … Next?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Right now, half of Trump’s lawyers are trying to keep him out of prison; the other half are trying to keep themselves out of prison.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingMick Jagger joined Jimmy Fallon to divulge some “Freezer Secrets” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe Canadian stand-up comedian, actor and writer Mae Martin will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutThe Birmingham Royal Ballet performing “Black Sabbath: The Ballet,” which has had sold-out runs in England in Birmingham, Plymouth and London.Ellie Smith for The New York TimesHeavy metal meets classical dance in the Birmingham Royal Ballet’s smash hit, “Black Sabbath: The Ballet.” More

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      Late Night Finds the House Speaker Pool Lacking in Diversity

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      Stephen Colbert named actual candidates for the job before switching to made-up politicians — “and literally no one knows when I did, including me.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Speaking for Whom?With Jim Jordan officially out of contention, Republicans continued their struggle to pick a new speaker of the House on Monday. In the running were nine potential candidates — later eight, with Dan Meuser dropping out — a group that Stephen Colbert found unremarkable. “This time, nine Republicans will battle for the top post: Tom Emmer from Minnesota, Kevin Hern from Oklahoma, Jack Bergman from Michigan, Byron Donalds from Florida, Mike Johnson from Louisiana, Sam Nayman from Tennessee, Dan Marks from Wisconsin, Ben Warner from Georgia and Ken Sherman from Pennsylvania — and I started making up names partway through that list, and literally no one knows when I did, including me.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThis week’s guest host of “The Daily Show,” Desus Nice, pointed to the sole Black contender, Byron Donalds, among a group of white men.“I’m going to be honest: I kind of want to root for Byron. I feel like he might be my guy. I mean, no particular reason,” Nice joked.“It looks like someone put a bottle of Hershey’s syrup in the mayonnaise aisle.” — DESUS NICE“Yo, all these white dudes look the same. In fact, three of them are the same guy, and you didn’t even notice.” — DESUS NICE“There are now eight candidates for speaker — seven white men and one Black man, or as Republicans call it, a very diverse slate of choices.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s like the reunion of a college basketball team from 1955, you know?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Nine House Republicans have announced plans to run for speaker. But if you wanted to see nine people who have no chance of winning, just go to a Mets game.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sports News Edition)“Let’s ease into everything with some sports news, and by sports news, I mean Taylor Swift: America’s sweetheart. She did some charity over the weekend by shining a spotlight on a little, unknown sport called football.” — DESUS NICE“Also, props to Brittany Mahomes. She leveled up. She went from being the quarterback’s wife to Taylor Swift’s B.F.F. — that’s like the highest level a white woman can get.” — DESUS NICE“Yeah, I guess it works, because Travis Kelce had his best game of the season yesterday. He finished with a touchdown, 12 catches, 179 yards, and 35 friendship bracelets, so, what a haul.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I will say it’s a good thing Taylor is dating someone on a good team. If she was dating someone on the Jets, she wouldn’t have a touchdown handshake. She’d just have a reassuring shoulder tap: ‘We’ll get ’em next time. You can’t win ’em all. Or any of them.’” — DESUS NICEThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Priscilla” star Jacob Elordi talked about his childhood celebrity crush — Brad Pitt — on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe author Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah will chat with Desus Nice, the guest host, on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutIn “Fellow Travelers,” Jonathan Bailey, left, and Matt Bomer play men who move in and out of one another’s lives as history unfolds around them.Ben Mark Holzberg/ShowtimeThe Oscar-winning screenwriter Ron Nyswaner’s debut TV series for Paramount+, “Fellow Travelers,” is an adaptation of the 2007 novel by Thomas Mallon. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Wants to Be Included in Trump’s Gag Order

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      “I don’t know about you — I saw the whole thing happen,” Kimmel said Monday, wondering who counted as a witness in Trump’s election interference case.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Trump Gets GaggedA judge imposed a limited gag order on former President Donald Trump on Monday, barring him from publicly attacking court staff members, specific prosecutors and witnesses involved in the federal case over his efforts to overturn the 2020 election.Jimmy Kimmel wondered who exactly counted as a witness, telling viewers, “I don’t know about you — I saw the whole thing happen.”“Trump’s lawyer said he had no intention of intimidating any witnesses or court staff, including the judge, Tanya Chutkan, the one who lives at 2747 Maple View Lane, white Nissan Sentra parked outside.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, Trump is prohibited from posting statements about the special counsel, his staff, the judge’s staff, witnesses and, here’s where it gets worse for him: windmills, windmills killing birds, windmills killing whales, windmills killing birds that come back to life and kill whales, toilets, toilets that don’t flush, toilets that do flush, and toilets that flush louder than windmills killing killer whales that come back to life to kill birds.” — SETH MEYERS“Good luck getting Donald Trump to stop talking. The guy is probably still spilling national secrets, just out on the golf course like, [imitating Trump] ‘Should I go with a 4-iron or a 5-iron? That reminds me, four and five — first two numbers in the nuclear codes. And guess what numbers come next? You’ll never guess; I’ll just tell you.’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“But even with this gag order, Trump’s still allowed to disparage the Justice Department, President Biden and other perceived enemies as long as what he says doesn’t directly reference his case, which, that should be no problem. This is a man who chooses his words very carefully.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Speak For Yourself Edition)“Jim Jordan has been in Congress for 16 years. He hasn’t sponsored a single bill that passed. For real — zero bills passed in 16. Even George Santos is like, ‘You suck, man.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But these Republicans are in a tough spot. I mean, either they cave to the extremists in their party who want to impeach Joe Biden and hand Ukraine over to Putin, or they work with the Democrats who want to fight climate change and give sick people health care. So it’s a no-win situation, really. “ — JIMMY KIMMEL“You could not pick a worse man for speaker of the House, and keep in mind the G.O.P. just had Kevin McCarthy, so they tried.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, Republicans and Democrats are talking about a bipartisan solution to finding a speaker. That’s how crazy things have gotten; our government is so dysfunctional, it might become functional.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingUma Thurman and Jimmy Fallon compared notes about parenting daughters on Monday’s “The Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightRachel Maddow will discuss her new book, “Prequel: An American Fight Against Fascism,” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutMadonna performing in London on Saturday, her first time on the road since 2020.Kevin Mazur/WireImage for Live NationMadonna’s career-spanning Celebration Tour is a bona fide dance party to the pop icon’s biggest hits. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Mocks George Santos

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      “Santos likes Jordan because when Jim Jordan sees a crime, he keeps his mouth shut,” Kimmel joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Missed ConnectionsLate night shows were taped before the news broke Thursday evening about Steve Scalise withdrawing as a candidate for speaker of the House. Instead, most hosts chose to poke fun at Representative George Santos for a social media post on Wednesday refusing to support Steve Scalise in favor of Jim Jordan.“It must have been very frustrating for George Santos sitting by the phone, waiting to hear from Scalise,” Jimmy Kimmel said. “You know, they only give you one call in prison.”“Santos then tweeted his support for Jim Jordan. Santos likes Jordan because when Jim Jordan sees a crime, he keeps his mouth shut.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Wow, I haven’t seen him this upset since he lost the N.B.A. championship to Michael Jordan and the Toon Squad.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“What a mess. The House only has until Nov. 17 to pass legislation to fund the government or there will be a shutdown. But they can’t do anything until they have a speaker. In the meantime, we’re all just waiting around like we’re customers in line at the CVS pharmacy window: ‘Any chance we’ll get our insulin?’ Not looking good.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Not-So-Hot Mic Edition)”Speaking of fools, Donald Trump.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Last night, he addressed the horrific terrorist attack on Israel by attacking Israel.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Capt. Bone Spurs gave a doozy of a speech where, among other things, he said Hamas would never have gone into Israel if his election hadn’t been rigged. He called Israel’s defense minister a jerk. He did some ax-grinding about Netanyahu and had some complimentary words about Israel’s enemies in Lebanon. He’s really angling for that Nobel Piece of [expletive] Prize.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“[imitating Trump] This is my worst mic since Pence!” — JIMMY FALLON, on Trump’s complaints about a microphone that he then refused to pay for“It’s always fun to see him come up with new reasons not to pay people.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe comedian John Mulaney sat down with his friend Stephen Colbert to discuss his recovery and getting David Byrne to score his new comedy album, “Baby J.”Also, Check This Out“City of Ladies,” a show within a show, puts Judy Chicago’s bronze female figures and other works alongside a sisterhood of more than 80 inspirations.Judy Chicago/Artists Rights Society (ARS), New York; Photo by Clark Hodgin for The New York TimesSpanning four floors at the New Museum in New York, Judy Chicago’s “Herstory” show features the work of more than 80 artists and thinkers, including her own. More