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      Jimmy Kimmel Chides Fox News for Not Covering Its Lawsuit Settlement

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      Kimmel joked the lack of coverage had to be an oversight: “Man, oh, man, is Rupert Murdoch going to be mad when he finds out about this!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Willful IgnoranceFox News and Dominion’s settlement continued to dominate the news cycle on Wednesday — everywhere except on Fox News.Jimmy Kimmel joked the omission was surely an “oversight,” saying he was curious “how Fox News was going to cover the story about themselves” and was unable to find anything about it on their home page.“Nothing about the huge payment for lying to their viewers.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Man, oh, man, is Rupert Murdoch going to be mad when he finds out about this!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This massive settlement was the number one story on every single cable news network except one. Take a guess.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Dominion also has a defamation case against Rudy Giuliani, also for $1.3 billion. That’s a lot, man. They are suing Rudy for everything he’s got, which at this point, I believe, is a stolen CVS shopping cart full of empty merlot bottles and a jar full of spare teeth.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Look, I’m happy for Dominion, but Dominion was not the only injured party here. What about, you know, our faith in democracy? There are people who will not trust elections for the rest of their lives, and I have to talk to those people! I’m going to be arguing with them at Trump rallies every four years for the rest of my life. And you know what? I’m not naïve. I didn’t expect this lawsuit to restore this country’s faith in elections or even for me to get a little cashola, no. But I was at least hoping to get a couple of weeks of joy out of seeing Sean Hannity up there on the stand, sweating through his shirt like a beached manatee. Would that have saved democracy? I don’t know. But it would have been nice to see.” — JORDAN KLEPPER, guest host of “The Daily Show”The Punchiest Punchlines (Lie-ability Edition)“This is a huge hit to Fox’s bottom line, although it’s not clear if insurance will cover some of Fox’s liability. Of course, Fox has to have liability insurance to insure their ability to lie.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Although, I don’t know who would insure them. Maybe Frauders: [singing] ‘We are Frauders, insuring Fox was dumb, dumb, dumb!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Two hours after the settlement was announced he can’t confirm how much Fox News paid? If only this Fox News anchor had some source at Fox News!” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to Fox News host Howie Kurtz saying he couldn’t confirm the settlement amountThe Bits Worth WatchingMichelle Obama surprised patrons of a Midtown bookstore with Jimmy Fallon’s help on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightIndie rock trio boygenius will perform on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutFrank Ocean performing at The Parklife Festival in 2017. Ocean has backed out of his second Coachella performance this weekend.Visionhaus#GP/Corbis via Getty ImagesFrank Ocean pulled out of Coachella this weekend, citing a leg injury that led to a disappointing headlining performance last Sunday. More

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      Stephen Colbert Rues the Fox Settlement

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      “I wanted to see Rupert Murdoch put his hand on the Bible and burst into flames!” Colbert said of Fox News settling the defamation suit brought by Dominion Voting Systems.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Trial and ErrorDominion Voting Systems settled its defamation lawsuit against Fox News on Tuesday, with the conservative news network agreeing to pay $787.5 million to avoid a trial.“I want my trial!” Stephen Colbert bemoaned on Tuesday.“I want it! You were supposed to provide me six weeks of delicious content! I wanted to see Rupert Murdoch put his hand on the Bible and burst into flames!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I guess it’s satisfying for Dominion that Rupey had to fork over a pile of cash, but that does nothing for our democracy. What we need is Fox News personalities to look straight into the camera, admit that they lied over and over again about the 2020 election, and then hurl themselves into Mount Doom.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I am glad that there is some accountability here. But still, I am pretty disappointed we are not going to get a trial, because all the Fox anchors would have been forced to testify. It would have been like the ‘Seinfeld’ finale, but instead of — instead of soup Nazis, it’s just Nazis.” — JORDAN KLEPPER, guest host of “The Daily Show”“Since Fox is going to have to pay nearly a billion dollars, they’ll need to implement cost-cutting measures. Sadly, they have to fire Brian Kilmeade’s reading tutor, Jeanine Pirro has to switch to the cheap box of wine, development on a third Doocy has been halted. They’re going to have to switch from Jesse Watters to tap waters. And of course, they’re going to have to put down Sean Hannity.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (Settling Up Edition)“You could tell Fox was stressed about the trial ‘cause they spent the day chugging Bud Light.” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s going to take a lot of reverse mortgage ads to pay that one off.” — JIMMY KIMMEL on the settlement“Immediately after the settlement, Fox issued a statement that said, ‘This settlement reflects Fox’s commitment to the highest journalistic standards.’ They’re already lying in their statement about lying.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s a fitting lesson for the world from the American justice system. Yes, it is — there’s a price to pay for lying to the American people, and if you can afford that price, go for it!” — JAMES CORDEN“Fox News has to pay Dominion nearly $800 million. It’s so much money, they’ve already started selling ad space on Tucker Carlson’s forehead.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingJordan Klepper took “Daily Show” cameras inside the world’s largest gun show.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightMichelle Obama will appear on “The Tonight Show” on Wednesday.Also, Check This Out“I wanted to be considered for a range of roles,” Chita Rivera writes in her new memoir, “and for the most part I succeeded.” Daniel Dorsa for The New York TimesThe 90-year-old singer-dancer Chita Rivera reflects on her life and career in “Chita: A Memoir.” More

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      Late Night Skewers Clarence Thomas for Not Disclosing Gifts

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      “The Daily Show” guest host Jordan Klepper joked that Thomas has “taken more free vacations than all the Bravo housewives combined.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Best of FriendsJustice Clarence Thomas is under fire for unreported gifts, trips and other financial transactions with the conservative donor Harlan Crow.On Monday, the “Daily Show” guest host Jordan Klepper joked that Thomas is “the Supreme Court justice who’s taken more free vacations than all the Bravo housewives combined.”“Last week, we learned that Thomas had secretly accepted luxury trips from right-wing billionaire Harlan Crow. And that’s his actual name, not his ‘Game of Thrones’ cosplay character.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Crow is an arch-conservative who’s known for his assorted Nazi memorabilia and garden full of statues of the 20th century’s worst despots. It’s so impressive that they put him on the cover of ‘Hitler Homes and Goebbels.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“On top of that, Clarence Thomas’s mom is still living in that house rent-free, and Harlan Crow is paying for thousands of dollars of renovations. All of which Clarence Thomas should have disclosed by law — although, in his defense, the law is complicated, and he is only a Supreme Court justice.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Justice Thomas claims that he did not have to report all these gifts because he and Crow are such close buds. But this must be one hell of a friendship because on Thursday we learned that, back in 2014, Harlan Crow bought property from Clarence Thomas, including the house where Thomas’s elderly mother was living. That might give him a little influence.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, Crow claims there’s nothing corrupt about this, saying, ‘My intention is to one day create a public museum at the Thomas home.’ Just a reminder, Harlan Crow has Hitler’s napkins and a statue of Stalin in his garden. So building you a museum? Not a huge compliment.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Love is Blind Edition)“Netflix is apologizing after last night’s ‘Love is Blind’ live reunion was delayed due to technical issues. Yeah, even though they couldn’t see the reunion, ‘Love is Blind’ fans still managed to fall in love with it anyway.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingFreddie Highmore, a guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” shared horror stories from previous talk show experiences (though he would not name names).What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightFresh from her Coachella performance, the rapper Glorilla will perform Tuesday on Jimmy Kimmel.Also, Check This OutJessica Hecht, left, said she and her “Summer, 1976” castmate, Laura Linney, right, share a “clarity of purpose.” She added: “I’m interested in plays that talk about intimacy.”Thea Traff for The New York TimesLaura Linney and Jessica Hecht play intensely intimate friends in David Auburn’s new play, “Summer, 1976.” More

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      Stephen Colbert Can Tell When Fox News Is Lying

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      A judge said he would probably appoint a “special master” to investigate whether Fox had misled the court. The “Late Show” host thinks he’s up to the job.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Fox News NewsA judge sanctioned Fox News on Wednesday for withholding evidence relevant to Dominion Voting Systems’ lawsuit. He said he would probably appoint a “special master” — an outside lawyer — to investigate whether the network had misled the court.“So the job is to figure out whether Fox News lies?” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday. “Hold on, hold on — am I a special master? Do I get a sash?”“Over in Fox News News, today they began jury selection in Dominion’s $1.6 billion defamation suit against Fox, and this trial’s gonna be juicy. For instance, the judge has ruled that Dominion can compel testimony from Fox News personalities Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity and Jeanine Pirro. And to make sure Jeanine Pirro tells the truth, they’re swearing her in on a box of wine.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So the judge is furious because Fox withheld the tapes. Although to be fair to Fox, they might not have known which embarrassing Rudy Giuliani tape they were being asked for. The one where the oil was leaking from his head or the one where he’s farting in court? The one where he’s unbuttoning his pants for Borat’s daughter? Or could it be the one where he held a press conference outside a dildo shop? How are they supposed to keep track of them all?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Solitary Confinement for Dummies’ Edition)“This afternoon, the FBI arrested a 21-year-old Massachusetts Air National Guardsman in connection with the leaking of classified documents that were posted online. The leaker is described as a lonely young man who is part of a chatroom group that shares a love of guns and military gear. You know how sometimes — you know you find yourself going, ‘It’s always who you least suspect, isn’t it?’ This isn’t one of those times.” — JAMES CORDEN“Teixeira was taken into custody in Massachusetts, where just moments before, he was seen from a helicopter reading a book on his porch. That book: ‘Solitary Confinement for Dummies.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, for taking these classified documents home, Teixeira could face charges under the Espionage Act and could get up to 10 years in prison per document. So he’s in trouble unless he declassified them with his mind.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to a Donald Trump declassification technique“As a 21-year-old, he’s devastated that this mistake may cost him his future, but he’s also thrilled that he’s posted something online and it totally went viral.” — JAMES CORDEN“He posted some of the documents in a chatroom for gamers, and I don’t even know how this works. Does someone like write, ‘Hey guys, how do I win in Fortnite?’ and you respond like, ‘I don’t know, but here’s some satellite images of Ukraine.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingBen Affleck revealed a secret from his youthful past on Thursday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This Out“Hilma” is about Hilma af Klint, who believed that spirits guided her to paint.Juno FilmsLasse Hallstrom’s biopic “Hilma” follows the life and career of the mystical artist Hilma af Klint. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Skewers Trump for Tucker Carlson Interview

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      Kimmel called the interview “a 45-minute blabfest,” saying it made “one thing very clear: the fact that Donald Trump is a profoundly stupid person.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Together AgainFormer President Donald Trump sat down for a lengthy interview with Tucker Carlson on Fox News on Tuesday.Jimmy Kimmel called the interview “a 45-minute blabfest,” saying it made “one thing very clear: the fact that Donald Trump is a profoundly stupid person.”“It was quite a chat. Trump covered everything from World War III, which he seems to be rooting for, to wanting to take the president of China to a Broadway show, and also he — as he often does — managed to shoo in some thoughts about the N-word.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He does not have the best words. He is not a stable genius. That mental competency test he’s always bragging that he passed? This is something the average 7-year-old could pass, OK? — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Harsh Accurate Words’ Edition)“Last night, the former sat down with Tucker Carlson who, thanks to revelations from the Dominion lawsuit, we now know hates the president passionately, privately texting that he’s ‘a demonic force.’ Harsh, accurate words.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s terrified because three weeks ago, we found out he’d been texting his co-workers about Trump saying, ‘I hate him passionately,’ he’s ‘a demonic force,’ he’s ‘a destroyer, he’s not going to destroy us,’ ‘I’ve been thinking about this every day for four years.’ And then, after thinking about it for four years, Tuck sat down with the demonic force and slobbered all over his Christmas ornaments.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJoan Baez, visiting the “Late Show,” talked with Stephen Colbert about singing “We Shall Overcome” with Representative Justin Jones in Nashville this week.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightBen Affleck, star of “Air,” will pop by Thursday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutOver the last two decades, Rita Indiana has become one of the Caribbean’s foremost cultural agitators.Luisa Opalesky for The New York TimesThe Novelist/musician Rita Indiana’s new show “Tu nombre verdadero” (“Your Real Name”) debuts in New York on Friday. More

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      Late Night Reacts to the Official End of the Covid Era

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      Jimmy Kimmel joked that President Biden declared the pandemic’s end “about a year after the rest of us did.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The End of an EraPresident Biden signed a congressional resolution into law on Monday, officially ending the U.S. national emergency response to the Covid-19 pandemic.Jimmy Kimmel called it “the dawn of a new era,” joking that Biden declared the pandemic’s end “about a year after the rest of us did.”“I’m not sure what it means for our health, but here this means that we here can finally get back to some of our favorite prepandemic ‘Late Show’ segments, like ‘subway blind taste test.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I have to say, I learned a lot during the pandemic. I learned that people who are most resistant to the government telling them what to do also happen to be the people who most need the government to tell them what to do and ironically are the same people who are most supportive of the government telling other people what to do.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But it wasn’t all bad. There were some positives. People helped each other. We found out who in our communities care about others, and maybe most importantly, we now have enough toilet paper to last the rest of our lives.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The end of the Covid era is surprisingly kind of bittersweet. This morning, I did something — I wiped down my groceries just for old-time sake. I actually bought a bottle of Purell and wiped it down with Purell.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Biden Goes to Belfast Edition)“Then this morning Biden was off to the emerald Ireland. The trip is part diplomacy and part homecoming, because Biden’s ancestors came to the U.S. from Ireland in the mid-1800s, when Biden was just a teen.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Biden is a proud Irish American. He’s planning to visit relatives over there from the Blewitt family — that’s his family’s name — and I really hope the visit goes well, because if Biden blows it with the Blewitts, Fox News is going to have a field day tomorrow.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Biden is making the trip to discuss Brexit, address Ireland’s parliament, and, if he’s got time later in the week, to meet with Brendan Gleeson and Colin Farrell to see if he can’t just patch up all of this silliness.” — JAMES CORDEN, referring to the plot and stars of “The Banshees of Inisherin”The Bits Worth WatchingTuesday’s “Late Show” guest Jennifer Garner recalled how she once landed Jennifer Coolidge’s dream role, playing a dolphin.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night“Mrs. Davis” star Betty Gilpin will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutAlison Goldfrapp in London. The singer, best known for her duo, Goldfrapp, is going solo in May.Rosie Marks for The New York TimesAlison Goldfrapp’s new solo album, “The Love Invention,” is a disco-tinged departure from her usual. More

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      Stephen Colbert Isn’t Fazed by the News About Clarence Thomas

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      “‘Wow, I can’t believe Clarence Thomas did something inappropriate,’ said a woolly mammoth reanimated after being frozen in the Siberian permafrost,” Colbert joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Red Flags on the S.S. MoneybagsClarence Thomas, the Supreme Court justice, has come under fire for accepting lavish trips and gifts from Harlan Crow, a wealthy conservative donor, without disclosing that he had done so.“‘Wow, I can’t believe Clarence Thomas did something inappropriate,’ said a woolly mammoth reanimated after being frozen in the Siberian permafrost,” Stephen Colbert joked on Monday.“Crow’s relationship with Justice Thomas was more than just a few voyages on the S.S. Moneybags. These luxury trips happened virtually every year for more than two decades, including trips around the world on Crow’s superyacht, flying on Crow’s G5 jet, and visits to Crow’s various estates, including one in the Adirondacks, which has a three-boat garage. Well, yeah, a busy family’s got to have three boats — what if the kids sleep late and miss the school yacht?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Thomas insists that these gifts from Crow don’t count because of their personal relationship, saying, ‘We have been friends for over 25 years.’ OK, but you’ve been on the Supreme Court for 31 years. ‘Oh, it’s not a bribe — he’s my friend.’ ‘Oh, how’d you guys meet?’ ‘Oh, he was bribing me.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s your close personal friend that you know everything about, so I guess it would be really embarrassing to learn that Harlan Crow has a collection of Adolf Hitler artifacts and Nazi memorabilia, including two paintings by Hitler. Ladies, take note. That is a red flag.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Crow also has a display of swastika-embossed linens. Yeah, yeah. It all comes with the Monsters of History fine dining set: You get the Nazi Napkins, the Pol Pots and Pans, and the Osama bin Ladle.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Easter Monday Edition)“At the White House this morning, the Bidens hosted the annual egg roll. Why they do this the day after Easter, I don’t know. Jesus is like, ‘I have to rise again again?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s a tradition going back over a century, to when children were invited to search for treats in Chester A. Arthur’s muttonchops.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Once again, this year’s theme was ‘Egg-ucation,’ although Biden also made time to address the Egg-conomy.’” — JAMES CORDEN“But this is not the first time they’ve repeated themes. You know, when Trump was president, the Easter theme was ‘Eggomaniac’ for three years in a row.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn the “Late Show,” Brian Cox shared some thoughts on his character, Logan Roy, after this week’s explosive episode of “Succession.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe comedy legend Carol Burnett will appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutMarilyn Minter at her studio pictured with “Mickalene Thomas,” 2022-23, with large enamel on metal painting at right.Thea Traff for The New York TimesAt 74, the artist Marilyn Minter’s ambitious new show includes portraits featuring women she admires, such as Gloria Steinem, Monica Lewinsky and Mickalene Thomas. More

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      Stephen Colbert on Trump: ‘Business Fraud Is His Brand’

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      Colbert recapped Donald Trump’s post-arraignment return to Mar-a-Lago, “where he held an angry rally for all his cult members.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Return of Florida ManFormer President Donald Trump returned to Mar-a-Lago on Tuesday after being arrested and arraigned on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records.“And you know what? I’m not sure if that’s fair,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday. “Business fraud is his brand.”“And after his arraignment, he hauled his ass to LaGuardia, got on his private jet, flew to Mar-a-Lago, where he held an angry rally for all his cult members.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Then it was time for the former president to take the stage and inspire a nation with a six-minute list of unresolved grievances. Well, come on, what do you expect? You’re listening to a 76-year-old man in Florida.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So he was arrested and released, and we never got a mug shot. But that did not stop the ex-president’s campaign from making one up and selling it on a T-shirt that says, ‘Not guilty.’ OK, but if he’s not guilty, why did you put him in a mug shot? Just sell a poster that says, ‘Wanted! for following too many laws.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Back So Soon?’ Edition)“Meanwhile, after his arraignment, Trump flew back home to Florida and held a rally in Mar-a-Lago. It’s always nice to have a traditional post-arrest reception.” — JIMMY FALLON“The whole staff looked at him like, ‘Back so soon?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Former President Trump spoke last night at Mar-a-Lago following his arraignment and said, ‘I never thought anything like this could happen in America.’ Honestly, neither did I. I mean, you got away with so many crimes for so long. Trump getting arrested was like ‘Avatar 2’ — I just figured it was never going to happen. Then it finally did, and I was like, ‘You know what? Worth the wait.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingJordan Klepper visited a Trump indictment rally in New York for Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightMolly Shannon will appear on Thursday’s “Tonight Show” ahead of hosting this weekend’s “Saturday Night Live.”Also, Check This OutDante ZaballaA dozen musicians, scholars and critics weighed in on the best music of the jazz pianist Mary Lou Williams. More