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      Jimmy Kimmel Responds to Reports He Caused a ‘Trumper Tantrum’

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      A report said Donald Trump tried to get Disney to reprimand Kimmel for making fun of him. “In other words, President Karen demanded to speak to my manager,” Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Trumper Tantrum’On Monday night, Jimmy Kimmel addressed a Rolling Stone report that said in 2018, then-President Trump asked White House officials to call Disney and demand that Kimmel stop making jokes about him. Disney owns ABC, which broadcasts Kimmel’s show.“The report says at least two calls were made from the Trump White House to ‘convey the president’s anger regarding Kimmel’s monologues and jabs,’” Kimmel said. “In other words, President Karen demanded to speak to my manager.”“You’d think the guy who fathered Eric and Don Jr. would know how to handle jokes, but I guess not.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know what, maybe this is why Donald and Melania sleep in separate bedrooms — she was laughing too hard at my monologue at night.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But really, joking aside, this is a blatant abuse of power. I wonder if Fox News — you know they’re always screaming about censoring comedians — will they defend me on this? I doubt it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I wonder what it was specifically that sparked this, his Trumper tantrum.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Low Confidence Edition)“The U.S. Energy Department just released a new report that said the Covid pandemic might have been started by a Chinese lab leak. Americans heard and were like, ‘Hey, thanks for that three years too late information. Any “Game of Thrones” spoilers?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, they think Covid started in a lab, but said, ‘They only have low confidence in the report.’ ‘Low confidence,’ which is just one notch above, ‘We have no freaking idea.’” — JIMMY FALLON“How can you conclude something with low confidence? That’s not a conclusion. I think the word you’re looking for is ‘guess.’” — HASAN MINHAJ, guest host of “The Daily Show”“I mean, low confidence — that’s like me saying, ‘I think I can bench 3,000 pounds, but I have low confidence.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, you could tell by the way they delivered the news: ‘Um, maybe it was a lab leak? That’s stupid. Forget I said anything.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The conclusion had low confidence. But honestly, once the ‘Queer Eye’ guys get ahold of it, give it a new haircut, teach it how to make guacamole, it’ll be a whole new conclusion, you just wait.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth Watching“Neil Young” performed the new viral hit “Angela Bassett Did the Thing” on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe actress Rebel Wilson will appear on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutRachel Brosnahan and Oscar Isaac in Anne Kauffman’s revival of “The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window” at the Brooklyn Academy of Music.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesOscar Isaac and Rachel Brosnahan star in a rare revival of Lorraine Hansberry’s “The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window.” More

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      Late Night Weighs in on President Biden’s Annual Physical

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      Jimmy Fallon joked that Vice President Kamala Harris “seemed a little too eager to hear the results.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.So Far, So GoodPresident Joe Biden received a clean bill of health after his annual physical at Walter Reed on Thursday.Late night hosts used the opportunity to poke fun at Biden’s age. Jimmy Fallon joked that Vice President Kamala Harris “seemed a little too eager to hear the results.”“Yeah, it’s never good when the doctor examining you is like, ‘I don’t know if they even make these parts anymore.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, the exam was going great until Biden confused the eye chart for a teleprompter.” — JIMMY FALLON“The White House said Biden’s exam took three hours. It’s never good when your physical has an intermission, you know what I’m saying? Nothing says ‘peak physical condition’ like a doctor’s visit with the same running time as ‘Avatar 2.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Fit as a Fiddle Edition)“So today, Joe Biden had his annual physical. It was a clean bill of health, although his X-ray did reveal several classified documents. Gotta look everywhere.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The presidential physical is pretty thorough. They do a colonoscopy, blood tests, and, as part of the dental exam, Biden pulls Air Force One with his teeth.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The physician reported that the president remains healthy and vigorous. That’s right, you tuned in to this show to be entertained, and you are hearing about an 80-year-old man’s doctor visit.” — JAMES CORDEN“Between the F.B.I. search and undergoing a physical, this is a huge week for Biden getting probed.” — JAMES CORDEN“This seems like one of the worst parts of being the president of the United States, just having the entire country know your height, weight and that you’ve got some kind of weird rash.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Daily Show” correspondent Jordan Klepper found out where Republican voters stood on Donald Trump at a recent rally for Nikki Haley, Trump’s first declared rival for the presidential nomination.Also, Check This OutIn the revival, all of the original main characters (except for Casey, played by Lizzy Caplan, not pictured) are either pulled back into cater waiting or never stopped.StarzThe all-star sleeper hit comedy series “Party Down” returns for a new season 14 years after the comedy first premiered on Starz. More

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      Sarah Silverman Defines ‘Woke’ for Newsmax

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      “The Daily Show” guest host Sarah Silverman called Newsmax “basically an even more far-right Fox News — like if your crazy uncle had a crazy uncle.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Sick Burn, BroOn Tuesday, a reporter for Newsmax asked Karine Jean-Pierre, the White House press secretary, if President Biden was “woke.”Sarah Silverman, guest host for “The Daily Show,” called Newsmax “basically an even more far-right Fox News — like if your crazy uncle had a crazy uncle.”“I think we’re just communicating wrong, because, like, what I know ‘woke’ to mean is, like, learning new things about people or the world, and then acting accordingly. Like, basic kindness. Maybe a gesture of care to people who are more vulnerable than you. You know what, actually you wouldn’t like it — it’s Jesus stuff.” — SARAH SILVERMAN“This guy really thinks, ‘Is Joe Biden woke’ was like a hard-hitting question. The real hard-hitting question would be, ‘Is Joe Biden awake?’” — SARAH SILVERMAN“It feels cooler to say, ‘I’m not woke’ than the truth, which is, ‘I’m terrified of what I don’t understand and I only know how to process that as anger because I can’t look inward.’” — SARAH SILVERMANThe Punchiest Punchlines (Probably Not Aliens Edition)“And there’s still confusion about the three unidentified objects the United States government shot down over the weekend. Intelligence officials now say that they do not believe the objects were from China or posed any kind of national security threat. This is all a very evasive way of saying that they shot down three Bud Light blimps.” — JAMES CORDEN“No aliens. Nothing to see here. In a totally unrelated story, Monday, the United States has set up a new task force on U.F.Os.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“According to Axios, the military didn’t classify what the objects were, but they don’t think they were aliens or Chinese spy balloons. Best guess right now is that there are some overly aggressive Re/Max agents on the loose.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“China is sticking to their claim that the first one we shot down was a weather balloon that got blown 12,000 miles off course. How ‘off course’ can you get? You missed by an ocean, if that’s the case.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The Pentagon this week described the unidentified object shot down over Canada on Saturday as a ‘small, metallic balloon.’ So it was either a dire national security threat or a wasted 25 cents at a county fair.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth Watching“Jimmy Kimmel Live” found a bunch of people who lied on camera about seeing a fictional U.F.O. on Wednesday’s “Lie Witness News.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightTina Fey will hang out with her old friend Seth Meyers on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutStephan DybusPodcast companies are feeling the strain of oversaturation and overspending. More

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      Stephen Colbert is Underwhelmed by Nikki Haley’s Big Announcement

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      “As she said in her campaign announcement tweet, ‘Get excited,’” Colbert said on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Nicky Fail-y’Former Gov. Nikki Haley of South Carolina announced she’s running for president early Tuesday morning.“Of course, any campaign veteran will tell you there is no better time to drop the biggest political news of your life than on Valentine’s Day at 6:48 a.m.” Stephen Colbert said. “Yeah, a day everyone’s thinking about something else at a time when no one is awake.”“The only way this could make a smaller splash is if Haley had whispered it into a bowl of soup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“As she said in her campaign announcement tweet ‘Get excited.’ A grateful pass.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But this is going to be a tough race for Nikki Haley. Right now, she’s polling at just one percent, and that’s pretty bad. I mean, you know, even Mike Pence is at two percent. Mike Pence’s noose rope is at five percent, which is V.P. material.” — SARAH SILVERMAN“She said she believes the Republican Party needs to go in a new direction. I think you’d have more luck convincing a swarm of moths to go in a new direction. The whole ‘towards the light’ thing isn’t really working.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Haley is the first prominent Republican to challenge Donald Trump, she’s the first female governor of South Carolina and the first candidate to spell her name like the bass player from Mötley Crüe, so …” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Now I guess this means Trump has to come up with a mean nickname for her. ‘Cuz right now he’s pacing around Mar-a-Lago going ‘Sicky Nikki? Nikki Fail-y? Oh, Nikki Epic Fail-y?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Today, former Trump cabinet member Nikki Haley announced that she is running for president. Yep. She served in Trump’s cabinet, which is listed on her website in very, very small font.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Folder Enthusiast Edition)“A lawyer for former President Trump said recently that Trump was using a manila folder marked ‘classified’ to block a small light on a landline phone next to his bed. Even weirder: all the ones that he taped up to use in place of curtains.” — SETH MEYERS“I don’t know, maybe use an eye mask, get a, you know, a different bedside phone, put a Post-it on it?” — JAMES CORDEN“Basically, he’s saying, ‘I’m not a traitor, I’m a hoarder!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Which is more embarrassing for Trump: the fact that he kept top-secret documents or admitting he collects folders? I mean, how dull do you have to be to be a folder enthusiast?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The worst thing about this story is now I’m picturing Trump in bed on a landline phone talking to Tucker Carlson, sort of twirling the cord around his finger going, ‘No, you hang up!’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingThe actress Alison Brie recreated a Valentine’s Day memory from high school on Tuesday’s “Late Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe NBA legend Kareem Abdul-Jabbar will sit down with Sarah Silverman on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutA museum in Croatia displays mementos and stories of people’s failed relationships.via Museum of Broken RelationshipsThe Museum of Broken Relationships in Croatia collects mementos people around the world send in symbolizing their failed romances. More

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      Late Night Recaps Rihanna’s Super Bowl Halftime Surprise

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      Jimmy Kimmel called the pop singer’s pregnancy reveal “the biggest ‘we’re expecting’ announcement in the history of the world.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Super Bowl, Baby!Rihanna’s Super Bowl halftime show was popular with late-night hosts on Monday, who praised the pop star for performing while pregnant.Jimmy Kimmel called the reveal “what has to be the biggest ‘we’re expecting’ announcement in the history of the world.”“She had a baby in May and now has another one in the oven. So, if you are one of those 19 million people who called in sick to work today, Rihanna last night had a 9-month-old in her dressing room, she was eight millimeters dilated, still managed to get out there and do her job.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Rihanna did a Super Bowl halftime show while pregnant. Meanwhile, everyone at home on their 30th chicken wing was like, ‘I also felt a kick.’” — JIMMY FALLON“During her halftime show performance at last night’s Super Bowl, Rihanna revealed that she was pregnant, while the rest of us just ate like we were.” — SETH MEYERS“Imagine it’s the first day of kindergarten and your fun fact is that you’ve done the Super Bowl halftime show.” — JIMMY FALLON“Seriously, did you see that, pregnant women? Did you see it? Rihanna just did a Super Bowl halftime show while pregnant, and you want my seat on the subway? Not anymore, toots. No way. The bar has been raised, so hold it.” — SARAH SILVERMAN, this week’s “Daily Show” guest host“Not only did she sound great, she closed the performance by — I don’t know if you saw this — really incredible, she closed the show by shooting down one of those U.F.O.s.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Alien Balloons Edition)“Last night was Super Bowl 57, and, out of habit, Biden shot down the Goodyear blimp.” — SETH MEYERS“All of a sudden, there are more U.F.O.s than Chick-fil-A’s now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I never in a million years thought I’d say this — where the hell is the Space Force?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, nothing’s off the table. It could be aliens, it could be balloons, or it could be alien balloons.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The White House today announced they formed an interagency team to look into what’s going on. After initially refusing to rule it out, today they said they do not believe these are extraterrestrial visits, which is exactly what they say at the beginning of every movie about extraterrestrial visits.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingLizz Winstead, the co-creator of “The Daily Show,” talked with her friend Sarah Silverman about creating comedy news, and her organization that advocates for reproductive justice.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightPaul Rudd, who stars in “Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania,” will sit down with Seth Meyers on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThe late Celia Cruz performing in New York in 2001. The multiple Grammy Award winner is one of five honorees of the American Women Quarters Program, the U.S. Mint said.Scott Gries/Getty ImagesThe Queen of Salsa, Celia Cruz, will be the first Afro-Latina to be featured on the U.S. quarter. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Jokes That President Biden’s Document Drama Is a ‘Humblebrag’

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      “First, they searched near Biden’s Corvette, now they’re searching his beach house,” Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Search ContinuesThe F.B.I. conducted a search of President Biden’s family vacation home in Rehoboth Beach, Del., on Wednesday but found no classified documents.“First, they searched near Biden’s Corvette, now they’re searching his beach house. I’m starting to think Biden created this whole scandal as a humblebrag,” Jimmy Fallon said.“[imitating Biden] ‘Why don’t you check by my infinity pool? Maybe there’s something behind the Picasso, I don’t know.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Biden’s attorneys found documents at his main house in Delaware last month, and the president has a regular house and a vacation house, both in Delaware. I don’t know — how’s that a vacation? Can you vacation from Delaware to Delaware?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“They didn’t find anything classified, but they did find a 1982 Zenith TV and three boxes of Parcheesi.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The F.B.I. reportedly searched President Biden’s Delaware beach house today as part of the ongoing investigation into his handling of classified documents. And I think he might be getting nervous, because he said, ‘You know what you should be searching? Hunter’s laptop! Crazy stuff in there!’” — SETH MEYERS“Speaking of Biden, today the White House announced that he will get his annual physical on Feb. 16. It’s going to be crazy after Biden’s colonoscopy when the doctor says, ‘There’s no easy way to tell you this, but we found more classified documents.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bye-Bye, Brady Edition)“Tom Brady announced he’s decided to retire, but for real this time. Every year on the first of February, Tom Brady comes out of the locker room to announce his retirement. Then if he sees his shadow, he goes right back to the N.F.L.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This dude retires more than Cher.” — D.L. HUGHLEY, guest host of “The Daily Show”“He was around for a long time. Let’s just say Brady was the only active N.F.L. player to see ‘Top Gun’ 1 and 2 in theaters.” — JIMMY FALLON“Brady is done and, in a related story, tickets to next year’s Buccaneers games are now free.” — JIMMY FALLON“Brady is moving on to bigger and better things. Yesterday, he was walking the red carpet for the premiere of his new film ‘80 for Brady.’ I hear it went pretty well until he tucked Rita Moreno under his arm and spiked her in the end zone.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Sadly, without football, he’s going to have to fill his days with nothing but being insanely rich, accomplished, fit, handsome and single.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingD.L. Hughley quizzed people in a man-on-the-street segment about Black History Month for “The Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJonathan Groff, who stars in “Knock at the Cabin,” will appear on Thursday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutOscar Isaac and Rachel Brosnahan will lead the cast of the stage revival of a Lorraine Hansberry play. Erik Tanner for The New York TimesOscar Isaac and Rachel Brosnahan will star in the first major New York revival of Lorraine Hansberry’s 1964 Broadway play “The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window” at BAM this month. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Puts Mike Lindell Inside a Claw Machine

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      The MyPillow founder and election denier wanted to appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” again, but the host had one condition.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Man in the MachineMike Lindell, the MyPillow founder, who known for his elaborate conspiracy theories about the 2020 election, returned to “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Tuesday, complying with Kimmel’s one condition: that he appear inside a claw machine at an arcade.In his monologue, Kimmel joked that the mustachioed Lindell was “here to finally answer the question: ‘What if Ted Lasso was on the F.B.I. watch list?’”“I do want to make something clear. I did not insist that Mike be in a claw machine because he’s not vaccinated; I insisted he be in a claw machine because it’s hilarious. This isn’t a political statement — this is just for fun.” — JIMMY KIMMELKimmel asked Lindell about his recent failed campaign for the chairmanship of the Republican National Committee. But Lindell kept bringing the conversation back to his insistence that machines had rigged the 2020 election.“First question, Mike, is why do you think people don’t take you seriously?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Mike, I know that you’re distrustful of machines. Now that you’re inside one, do you feel differently?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Gloria Estefan and the Miami Sound Machine, they’re cool, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know, one of the differences between you and the claw machine is claw machines let go. And you will not let go of this voting thing, will you?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (That’s a Wrap Edition)“President Biden informed Congress yesterday that he will officially end the coronavirus pandemic emergency declaration in May, which means that everyone can finally stop wearing their mask a year ago.” — SETH MEYERS“The timing makes sense. Might as well squeeze in one more spring break public health emergency for old time’s sake.” — JAMES CORDEN“Take that, Covid, we beat you. Shove that up your nose and rotate it five times!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This has been a long time coming. I wish you could see the smiles on the faces in my audience. And I wish I could, too, because they’re still wearing masks.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I’m pretty sure the public ended the health emergency a while ago. Today, I saw a guy open a Starbucks bathroom with his tongue.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Daily Show” correspondent Jordan Klepper spoke with superfans of Donald Trump in South Carolina, some of whom insist he is still in office.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe newly minted Oscar nominee Jenny Slate will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show with James Corden.”Also, Check This OutBonnie Raitt has won 10 Grammys since 1979. She’s up for four awards on Sunday, including song of the year.Peter Fisher for The New York TimesBonnie Raitt has been nominated for four Grammys this year, including her first for songwriting. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Takes on Trump’s ‘Sad’ Return to the Campaign Trail

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      Kimmel called Donald Trump’s 2024 campaign “the political equivalent of when Michael Jordan went to play for the Wizards.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Diet Trump’Former President Trump is back on the stump, kicking off his 2024 presidential campaign over the weekend with events in New Hampshire and South Carolina.Jimmy Kimmel said watching Trump return to campaigning was “sad,” calling it “the political equivalent of when Michael Jordan went to play for the Wizards.”“Former President Trump kicked off his 2024 campaign on Saturday at the New Hampshire Republican Party’s annual meeting and said, ‘I’m more angry now, and I’m more committed now than I ever was’ — though it’s never a good sign when your opening pitch is, ‘I’m blind with rage.’” — SETH MEYERS“Trump also warned that if Ron DeSantis runs for president, he would consider it a great act of disloyalty. And, you know, loyalty means everything to the guy who cheated on his third wife with a porn star and thought it might be cool to hang his vice president.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Speaking of DeSantis, I saw that he’s actively preparing for a possible presidential run, and he hasn’t landed on an official slogan yet, but he’s trying a few out. First, there’s ‘DeSantis 2024: Diet Trump.’ Next, there’s ‘DeSantis 2024: DeAmerica DeTruly DeDeServes DeDeSantis.’ And finally, ‘DeSantis 2024: Make America Florida Again.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Brotherly Love Edition)“Guys, I want to say congrats to the Kansas City Chiefs and the Philadelphia Eagles on advancing to Super Bowl LVII. Yeah, to all the Chiefs fans, I want to say, ‘Congratulations.’ To all the Eagles fans, I want to say, ‘Good morning.’” — JIMMY FALLON“You can tell Philly partied hard last night because today the Rocky statue is holding up Tylenol and a Gatorade.” — JIMMY FALLON“Of course, everyone in Kansas City is just as pumped. This is the Chiefs’ third Super Bowl appearance in the last four years. Even Tom Brady is like, ‘Hey, give someone else a chance.’” — JIMMY FALLON“This is interesting, Travis Kelce is going to be playing against his brother in the Super Bowl. His older brother, Jason, plays center for the Eagles. It’s the first time two brothers have ever competed in the Super Bowl against each other, which, that has got to be tough for their parents. I mean, no matter who wins, they’ve gotta take them both to Disneyland, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s already a history-making game because Kansas City Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce and Philadelphia Eagles center Jason Kelce will become the first brothers to face off against each other in a Super Bowl. But not the first time family members have played each other. Who can forget the dramatic playoffs matchup between Joe and Hannah Montana?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This is really high stakes because they’re playing for who gets the top bunk.” — JAMES CORDEN“Maybe this is how Prince William and Prince Harry should sort out their issues.” — JAMES CORDEN“I would tell them, I would sit them down and say, ‘Boys, whoever wins is the son we love more and that’s that.’ That’s how Trump does it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThis week’s “Daily Show” guest host, D.L. Hughley, spoke with Ibram X. Kendi and Nic Stone, co-authors of “How to Be a (Young) Antiracist,” on Monday night.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe actress Jessica Chastain, who stars in Showtime’s “George and Tammy,” will chat with Stephen Colbert on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutJennifer Coolidge and her character’s rant about murderous “gays” are featured in a popular dance mash-up of the theme song from the show “The White Lotus.”Fabio Lovino/HBODanceable remixes of “The White Lotus” theme song have become a hit in music venues and dance clubs. More