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      Rudy Giuliani’s Rowdy 9/11 Speech Leaves Late-Night Hosts Reeling

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      ‘I’m not saying Rudy was drunk, but that’s usually when guys from Brooklyn start to imitate the queen of England,’ Seth Meyers said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘What Is He Doing?’This weekend’s 20th anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks would not appear to be very good fodder for lighthearted late-night humor. But that was until Rudy Giuliani got involved.On Saturday, Giuliani turned a speech commemorating the occasion into a wandering, unfunny but still-comic monologue. He impersonated Queen Elizabeth II and reminisced awkwardly about his run-ins with Prince Andrew.Trevor Noah was one of many late-night hosts who responded with baffled amusement.“You know your speech went off the rails when people watching it are like: ‘I wish this guy would talk more about 9/11. What is he doing?’” — TREVOR NOAHOn “Late Night,” Seth Meyers said there was reason to agree with the commentators who suggested that Giuliani was not in full command of his faculties.“I’m not saying Rudy was drunk, but that’s usually when guys from Brooklyn start to imitate the queen of England.” — SETH MEYERS“I guess Rudy can add this tape to his reel of impressions if he ever auditions for ‘America’s Not Talent.’” — SETH MEYERSTaco Bell EnvironmentalismTaco Bell recently started a program that aims to help customers recycle the plastic from used sauce packets by having them mail those packets back.Noah said the idea deserved points for creativity but probably wouldn’t actually do much to help the environment.“This idea has all sorts of problems with it. For one thing, people who eat at Taco Bell don’t care about the environment. I mean, they don’t even care about their own bodies.” — TREVOR NOAH“Yeah, this is a weird idea, but what did you expect? Coming up with weird ideas is Taco Bell’s whole thing. This is a place that will still wrap a soft shell around a hard shell and wrap that inside a Dorito’s chip — which is delicious, but you really think their idea to save the environment is going to make sense?” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (M.T.A. Edition)“At the Washington Football Team’s season opener, a pipe at the stadium burst over a group of fans, and some people said it might have been sewage. I don’t know; take a look. [Shows footage] Well, that’s a good omen for the season, you know? Washington is still looking for a team name; it’s too bad the Browns are already taken.” — JIMMY FALLON“An investigation concluded last week that a recent M.T.A. subway outage that shut down 83 trains was caused by someone accidentally flipping a power switch. Said one man, ‘So thaaaat’s what it does.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingDr. Anthony Fauci talked to Noah about combating vaccine hesitancy and what he called the need for vaccine mandates.Jimmy Kimmel’s wife, Molly McNearney, came up with a skit that allows her to declutter their house at the same time: It’s called “Win Jimmy’s Crap.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightJustice Stephen Breyer, who at 83 has been fending off calls from fellow liberals to step down, will talk to Stephen Colbert on Tuesday. Will Colbert hold his feet to the fire?Also, Check This OutThe Metropolitan Opera performed Verdi’s Requiem on Saturday, the company’s first time playing inside its theater since March 2020.Richard Termine/Met OperaAnthony Tommasini, The Times’s chief classical music critic, gave an enthusiastic review to the first performance at the Metropolitan Opera since the start of the coronavirus pandemic: a staging on Saturday of Verdi’s Requiem in commemoration of 9/11. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: Herd Immunity Doesn’t Mean Taking Horse Medicine

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      “Vaxxed and waxed. He wants his mailmen smooth,” Kimmel joked of President Biden’s new vaccine requirements for federal employees on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Variants Are Coming!’On Thursday, President Biden announced new vaccine requirements for federal employees and contractors, health care workers and those working at companies with more than 100 employees.“And, of course, a lot of people are upset about this,” Jimmy Kimmel said. “They don’t want to be told what to do — not even by the doctors who they will eventually rush to to beg for help when they get sick.”“Vaxxed and waxed. He wants his mailmen smooth.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This really does feel like when your dad stops threatening and actually does turn the car around.” — JAMES CORDEN“But you know, there’s a reason pandemic movies end when the hero finds the cure for the disease. There’s no ‘Contagion’ sequel with Matt Damon running around trying to convince everyone to take the vaccine — they just take the vaccine. And thank God, by the way — he sucks. We don’t need more movies with him.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Vaccine mandates have a proud history in this country. During a smallpox outbreak in 1777, George Washington required his troops to be immunized. And who can forget the immortal words of Paul Revere: ‘One if by J.&J., two if by Pfizer. The variants are coming! The variants are coming!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But, still, I don’t know, like a quarter of the country thinks herd immunity means they should be taking livestock medicine instead of the vaccination.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Biden said it’s time to stop horsing around — and then he was like, ‘No, seriously, stop taking horse medicine.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (She’s Back Edition)“The Biden administration yesterday removed 18 military academy board members that were appointed by Trump, including haunted Dollar Store Barbie doll Kellyanne Conway. Which, there’s a name I haven’t said in a while: Kellyanne Conway. I’m not gonna say it any more times. I’ve seen ‘Candyman.’ I know what might happen.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Why were there still any Trump holdovers anyway? That’s like moving into a rent-controlled apartment the last guy died in and keeping all the expired whitefish in the refrigerator.” — SETH MEYERS“And why was Kellyanne Conway on an Air Force advisory board? If she ever flew an F-16 or what she probably calls an F-17, I guess we would end up in a ravine, her standing on a tarmac in a parachute claiming it was a successful landing.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert spoke with Steve Burns from “Blues Clues,” who went viral this week with a heartfelt video that addressed his abrupt departure from the beloved children’s show close to 20 years ago.Also, Check This OutSeth Meyers was among Kelly Clarkson’s guests during a string of New York episodes taped at Jazz at Lincoln Center.Weiss Eubanks/NBCAfter two years of her daytime show, much of that during a pandemic, Kelly Clarkson has hit her stride as a talk show host. More

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      Samantha Bee Blasts Supreme Court for Allowing the Texas Abortion Ban

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      The “Full Frontal” host wasn’t happy about the state’s law, which outlaws abortion after six weeks, or the high court’s decision not to block it.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Taking Issue With TexasSamantha Bee lashed out on Wednesday at the Supreme Court’s conservative majority, after the court refused to block a law that has effectively ended legal abortion in Texas.The Texas law effectively outlaws abortion after six weeks of pregnancy — earlier than many women realize they are pregnant.“Technically, you’re six weeks pregnant just two weeks after you miss a period — which is a [beep] nightmare, because periods can be irregular for all kinds of reasons. I skipped a period when I started this job and at the 2018 People’s Choice Awards when Willem Dafoe looked at me too hard. (That was before he became Willem Dafriend.)” — SAMANTHA BEEBee quoted from Justice Sonia Sotomayor’s ardent dissent, in which the justice said her colleagues had refused “to enjoin a flagrantly unconstitutional law” and instead “opted to bury their heads in the sand.”“Damn, I haven’t seen heard a Supreme Court justice speak that passionately about a case since Sandra Day O’Connor’s decision on Kramer v. Kramer. She chose ‘Seinfeld’ Kramer! She said the laughter he brings is almost unconstitutional.” — SAMANTHA BEEReacting to a tweet from Gov. Kristi Noem of South Dakota suggesting that her state might emulate the Texas law, Bee paused on Noem’s mention of South Dakota’s official “unborn child advocate.” Then the host put up a picture (rather unflattering) of Mark Miller, the man who holds that position, and delivered a few blows that were aimed at his face but still felt below the belt.“It’s weird that he’s pro-life because with a face like that, I would want to be dead.” — SAMANTHA BEE“You can’t be pro-birth if you look like you broke out of a cloning pod before you finished.” — SAMANTHA BEE“We need to fight this oppressive law, and all the others that come after it, because no person should be forced to give birth — or look into this man’s face. I just missed my period again.” — SAMANTHA BEEHaving Fun With Virus FrustrationOn “The Tonight Show,” when Jimmy Fallon touched on President Biden’s attempts to control the coronavirus pandemic, his jokes were tinged with cynicism.“Tomorrow, President Biden is giving a major speech on the next phase of his pandemic response. Americans said they can’t wait to hear the speech, and then crowded into a bar for tomorrow’s N.F.L. kickoff.” — JIMMY FALLON“Biden will lay out a six-pronged strategy. And apparently one prong is building a border wall between the U.S. and Florida.” — JIMMY FALLONJimmy Kimmel sounded like he was equally fed up with antimaskers.“Maybe they should have a separate airline for people who won’t wear a mask: JetFlu.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Delta Air Lines Edition)“A 4-year-old girl named Scarlett just climbed her 48th mountain peak. That’s great, but she doesn’t have Instagram, so did it really happen?” — JIMMY FALLON“The C.E.O. of the airline Delta has revealed he’s still refusing to call it the Delta variant. That’s important, I can totally understand that, because being associated with a communicable disease is not great for business. That’s why stores no longer carry the tasty Syphilis Jam. You remember their motto: ‘Nothing spreads like Syphilis!’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingSeth Meyers offered his own criticisms of the Supreme Court’s decision on the Texas abortion law.Will exposure therapy help Guillermo overcome a lifelong fear of snakes?What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightOn “The Late Show” on Thursday, Sarah Paulson will talk about playing Linda Tripp on the new FX series “Impeachment: American Crime Story,” and the country singer Kacey Musgraves will perform a song from her new album, “Star-Crossed.”Also, Check This OutLindsey Buckingham’s self-titled solo album, his first since being ousted from Fleetwood Mac in 2018, is due this month.Chantal Anderson for The New York TimesLindsey Buckingham is once again an ex-member of Fleetwood Mac, after his long-simmering tensions with Stevie Nicks bubbled over (not for the first time). He has a new solo album out. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Skewers ‘Pan-dimwits’ Taking Horse Dewormer

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      “Meanwhile, these poor horses are like: ‘Hey, I have worms — I need that stuff. There are worms in my butt, do you understand?’” Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Still Horsing AroundJimmy Kimmel returned to his show on Tuesday after taking the summer off.“I leave you people alone for two months, you start taking horse worm medicine?” the host said.Kimmel offered a name for people who have taken the medicine, ivermectin, as a supposed cure for Covid-19: “pan-dimwits.” There is no evidence that the drug is effective against Covid, and the health authorities have warned that it could pose a serious danger to humans.“So you will probably still get Covid, but on the bright side, you could win the Preakness.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Poison-control centers across the country have seen a spike in calls from people taking livestock medicine to fight the coronavirus, but they won’t take the vaccine, which is crazy. It’s like if you’re a vegan and you’re like, ‘No, I don’t want a hamburger — give me that can of Alpo instead.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Worst of all, it tastes yucky. Luckily, the internet is loaded with advice on how to make it more palatable, including mixing it with jellies or eating it as a sandwich. Or throw it on your roast beef — technically, it is horsey sauce.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“In fact, it says right on the label: ‘For a horse’s [expletive].’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“One of the reasons these Sea Biscuits are opting for ivermectin is because they don’t trust ‘big pharma.’ Which is fine, I guess, except for the fact that ivermectin is made by Merck, which is the fourth-largest pharmaceutical company in the world.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Listen, if a pharmaceutical company says, ‘Please don’t take the drug we’re selling,’ you should probably listen to them. Or you could just go with a TikTok posted by a disgraced veterinarian instead.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Meanwhile, these poor horses are like, ‘Hey, I have worms — I need that stuff. There are worms in my butt, do you understand?’”— JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Worst Butt Dial Ever Edition)“And finally, I read that surgeons successfully removed a Nokia cellphone from a man’s body after he swallowed it whole. The kids were so embarrassed. They’re like, ‘Dad, please swallow an iPhone next time.’” — JIMMY FALLON“He swallowed a Nokia phone. More like Choke-ia phone.” — JAMES CORDEN“His phone got wet and he needed to put it in rice immediately, but he had eaten all of his rice.” — JAMES CORDEN“Even worse, after four days, the man still had zero notifications.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s why I always buy the extra-long 10-foot charge cord, always. I know it’s a little bit more, but you’re happy you paid that money when you’re like, ‘Got it!’”— JAMES CORDEN“When reached for a comment, the man said he didn’t swallow it — it was just the worst butt dial ever.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingAmber Ruffin challenged Texas on its new abortion ban and made the case for a federally funded pedicure on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightHolland Taylor (“The Chair”) will sit down with Stephen Colbert on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutSarah Paulson, left, as Linda Tripp and Beanie Feldstein as Monica Lewinsky in “Impeachment: American Crime Story” on FX.Antony Platt/FX“American Crime Story: Impeachment” focuses less on the White House and more on the women who were involved with and affected by the scandal. More

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      Stephen Colbert on the Chaotic Regime Change (Not That One)

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      Colbert brought “Late Show” viewers up to speed on the fallout from the search for a new “Jeopardy!” host. Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Double JeopardyOn Thursday night, Stephen Colbert opened his monologue by addressing what he said was on his audience’s mind.“They want to hear me talk about the big story everybody’s talking about right now,” Colbert said: “the chaos surrounding the recent poorly handled regime change — over at ‘Jeopardy!’”“And for some reason, everyone is talking about this — possibly to avoid talking about everything else.” — STEPHEN COLBERTColbert recounted how the game show’s search for Alex Trebek’s successor, which included tryouts by guest hosts like LeVar Burton and Katie Couric, ended last week when “the executive producers of ‘Jeopardy!’ selected executive producer Mike Richards.”“Wow, what are the odds? Exactly the same as me getting named ‘Stephen Colbert Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive.’ Suck it, Ryan Gosling!” — STEPHEN COLBERTBut since then, Colbert continued, “crude comments about women, Jews and Haiti” that Richards made on a podcast years ago have emerged. “Ooh, looks like Richards’s job might be in … jeopardy!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“At this rate, he’s going to be the first ‘Jeopardy’ host to actually invoke double jeopardy: ‘Objection: I already got in trouble for that one. What? Oh, I’m sorry — what is ‘objection’?” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (OnlyFans Edition)“Earlier today OnlyFans announced that it’s going to block all X-rated content starting in October. What? This would be like Playboy only printing the articles, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLON“Also just a side note, if you’re watching this with someone, and they quickly ask, ‘What’s OnlyFans?’ Trust me, they know exactly what it is.’” — JIMMY FALLON“They know that fans of OnlyFans are only fans of one thing, right?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Reportedly, ‘OnlyFans was struggling to find outside investors because of its adult content.’ Evidently, pornography does not live up to the high moral standards of investment bankers, unless it’s them [expletive] the economy. Then it’s fine.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, there’s a bright side to banning shots of where the sun don’t shine, because OnlyFans says while sexually explicit material will be banned, nudity that is not sexually explicit will remain allowed. So you can only post nude images that would never turn on anyone — and, I’m sorry, I just don’t need the money that badly.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingOn “The Tonight Show,” The Roots improvised a song about the chemistry on the new season of “Bachelor in Paradise.”Also, Check This OutJeremy O. Harris and Whitney Peak during the taping of a “Gossip Girl” episode in which characters attend a new play by Harris.Karolina Wojtasik, via HBO MaxThe reboot of “Gossip Girl” featured a scene from a Jeremy O. Harris play that didn’t really exist. Now it’s been commissioned by the Public Theater. More

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      Seth Meyers Explains How ‘Forever Wars’ Happen

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      The Washington elite kept troops in Afghanistan “longer than it takes for George R.R. Martin to come up with a new ‘Game of Thrones’ book,” Meyers joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘A Little More Time’Seth Meyers discussed the messy U.S. withdrawal from Afghanistan in his “Closer Look” segment on Wednesday night, blaming members of the Washington elite who he said had misled the public for years about the prospects for success in America’s longest war.“And that’s how ‘forever wars’ happen: People in charge just keep asking for a little more time to turn things around and then, next thing you know, it’s been 20 years and you’ve been in Afghanistan longer than it takes for George R.R. Martin to come up with a new ‘Game of Thrones’ book,” Meyers joked.“And every time someone suggested withdrawing, the military-industrial complex and foreign policy elite kept insisting that if we only gave them just a few more months, they could finally turn things around. It’s kind of like how as a kid you tell your parents you’d return the movie you rented from Blockbuster tomorrow because you hadn’t finished it yet, and then they’d ask you the next day, and you tell them you just have to watch the last 20 minutes, and then the next thing you know, you’re 47 years old and owe Blockbuster $60,000 in late fees for a VHS copy of ‘The Prince of Tides.’” — SETH MEYERS“There was never a good time to withdraw, which is why no president before Biden was willing to do it, kind of like how there’s never a good time at a pool party to tell someone you can see their [expletive] crack. No one wants to be the guy who interrupts pool volleyball to say, ‘Hey, Dave, pull up your swimsuit.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Duct Tales Edition)“Guys, I saw that United Airlines has instructed its flight crew not to use duct tape when dealing with unruly passengers. Don’t use it, yeah. Flight attendants heard and were like, ‘OK, Tasers it is.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, United isn’t allowed to use duct tape, while passengers on Frontier Airlines will now be wheeled onboard like Hannibal Lecter.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, according to the memo, United is against using duct tape unless it’s holding up one of their engines. That’s where they draw the line.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingWednesday night’s guest host, Sean Hayes, played doctor on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe “Saturday Night Live” star Cecily Strong will visit Seth Meyers on Thursday night.Also, Check This OutBillie Jean King in 1974.Associated PressBillie Jean King’s new memoir, “All In,” is a powerful, personal manifesto from the longtime activist and athlete, our critic writes. More

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      Late Night Anticipates the Third Shot

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      “Yep, Biden will be making the booster shot announcement as part of his Operation: Change the Subject,” Jimmy Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Third Time’s the CharmThe White House is expected to announce coronavirus booster shots, recommending that Americans receive them eight months after their initial round of inoculation.“And to sell Americans on the idea, the White House is hiring a movie trailer narrator to be like, ‘This fall, Pfizer completes their epic trilogy,’” Jimmy Fallon joked on Tuesday night.“Yep, Biden will be making the booster shot announcement as part of his Operation: Change the Subject.” — JIMMY FALLON“The first people to get boosters will likely be nursing home residents and health care workers, who could get the jab as early as mid-September. So these are autumn shots. The options will be Moderna, Pfizer or pumpkin spice.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So, vaccine sites are about to ramp up again. You hear that, millions of Americans who are still on the fence about the first dose? Because the rest of us are about to go back for thirds. We’re offering you that last slice of pizza before we take it, and in this case, the pepperoni doesn’t kill you.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (One More Shot Edition)“We’re going to get a third shot, OK? So, somehow, they’re going to have to make the vaccination card even bigger. It fits in most midsize sedans.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Honestly, they should just send booster shots to your house like a cheese of the month club like, ‘Oh, honey, look — this month it is AstraZeneca. How exotic!’” — JIMMY FALLON“America can’t even agree on the first shots. We’re like a giant family dinner where half the table wants pizza and the other half wants to die of Covid.” — JULIE BOWEN, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”The Bits Worth WatchingOn Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” guest host Julie Bowen explained how she and her family recently helped an injured hiker in a national park.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightMichael Keaton will catch up with Jimmy Fallon on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutJohn Shearer/WireImage for MTV.com (Conrad, Montag) ; Glenn Francis/PacificProDigital.com (Pratt)Memes about Delta are harmless fun except for those cast as the variant itself. More

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      Colbert on Afghanistan: ‘It’s Heartbreaking’

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      “Why should our soldiers be fighting radicals in a civil war in Afghanistan? We’ve got our own on Capitol Hill,” Stephen Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Right Thing Feels So Wrong’Late-night hosts addressed the news out of Afghanistan this week, with the Taliban taking swift control after President Biden’s decision to pull out American troops.“We have had troops there for 20 years — they fought, they sacrificed, their families sacrificed so that we wouldn’t have a terrorist attack in America planned in a foreign country,” Stephen Colbert said on Monday. “Why should our soldiers be fighting radicals in a civil war in Afghanistan? We’ve got our own on Capitol Hill.”“The Taliban yesterday entered the city of Kabul and took control of Afghanistan’s presidential palace. Most Americans watched in horror, while some Americans watched for tips.” — SETH MEYERS“As recently as last month, an overwhelming majority of Americans, 70 percent or more, supported Biden’s withdrawal. Seventy percent. You know how few things 70 percent of Americans agree on? I think it’s this and extra cheese, which also often ends badly and faster than you planned.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The U.S. foreign-policy apparatus should not approach Afghanistan the same way I approach trying to install a wireless router: ‘“Connect the router to a broadband gateway from your I.S.P. by inserting the Ethernet cable to the port located on the back of the TP-link extender”? I don’t have the foggiest notion of what I’m undertaking! Do you know how this works?’” — SETH MEYERS“So in the end, you can make us accept that there was no good alternative, but you can’t make us feel good about it. The only people who can feel good about this are the service members and their families who aren’t going to see soldiers sent into harm’s way for no reason that the commander in chief of either party can articulate. But there’s one more thing: For the last 20 years, four separate administrations told the American people to care about the plight of all the Afghan people, especially the women, and we did care and that’s not going to change. All that’s changed is that there’s nothing we can do about it now. So pulling out may be the right thing to do, but it’s heartbreaking; it’s humbling when the right thing feels so wrong.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Blame Game Edition)“Former President Trump released a statement on Friday amid the deteriorating situation in Afghanistan and, yeah, he’s enjoying this.” — SETH MEYERS“Pretty weird to blame Biden for withdrawing troops when this summer he was claiming credit for it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So you can’t put all the blame for a debacle you helped set the stage for. That’s like Andrew Lloyd Webber calling ‘Cats’ a terrible movie. You wrote a musical with no plot — how did you think this was going to end?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You can tell things aren’t good for Biden, because today he said, ‘You know, maybe the election was stolen.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump made a peace deal with the Taliban to end the war, and now after Biden’s withdrawal, they’re back in power. So, on the bright side, it’s nice to have a bipartisan screw-up.” — JIMMY FALLON“I have a hard time believing Trump would have done it in a more orderly way, since nothing he ever did was orderly. He couldn’t even withdraw from an umbrella in an orderly fashion.” — SETH MEYERS“So what’s happening now is the responsibility of both parties, and the American people who voted them into office. So, children and convicts, you’re off the hook. Also, thanks for watching.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingThe country music star Maren Morris was the guest host on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightCourtney Barnett will perform on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutJan GrueNTB Scanpix Sipa USA
      Michael J. Fox reviews “I Live a Life Like Yours,” Jan Grue’s new memoir about living with spinal muscular atrophy. More