Colbert, Stephen

Subterms

    More stories

    • 138 Shares99 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Celebrates the Final 36 Hours of Trump in Charge

      by

      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night Celebrates the Final 36 Hours of Trump in Charge“Normally, after a president’s term, they show before and after photos to prove how much the job aged him. This time, they’re showing before and after photos of all of us,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Monday.“You think you’re excited? Every 10 minutes the White House staffer yells how much time is left like it’s ‘The Great British Bake Off,’” Jimmy Fallon said of Trump’s final few days in office.Credit…NBCJan. 19, 2021, 1:35 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Dreams DeferredLate night celebrated Martin Luther King’s Birthday at the top of their shows by holding up the civil rights activist as an example of a great leader, as opposed to the departing president.“First of all, before anything else, Happy Martin Luther King Day, everybody, when we celebrate a great leader who led a march on Washington that didn’t end with me having to learn about someone named Q Shaman.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“If Dr. King were alive today, he would probably watch the news and go, ‘Let me be more specific about this dream I had.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL[embedded content]“You know, it’s days like today we should all be grateful that Trump can’t tweet.” — JIMMY FALLON“Today was Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and I’d like to think he’d have a good laugh if he knew the F.B.I. had to spend this federal holiday tracking down and arresting thousands of white supremacists. He did have a second dream, and that was it.” — SETH MEYERSMost of the rest of their monologues were focused on President Trump’s last few days in office.“Well guys, there’s only 36 hours left in Trump’s presidency. You think you’re excited? Every 10 minutes the White House staffer yells how much time is left like it’s ‘The Great British Bake Off.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, just 36 hours left. You can tell time is running out because Trump is now signing pardons with both hands.” — JIMMY FALLON“With Trump, 36 hours still seems like a long time, right? It’s like if someone said, ‘You’re only going to be on fire for 36 more hours.’ That’s a long time. ‘You’re only going to be in this M.R.I. tube for another 36 hours. Try not to move.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Forty-eight hours from now Donald and Malaria, Melania — whoops — will be back home, asleep in separate bedrooms at Mar-a-Lago.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“President Trump is reportedly planning on leaving the White House on Wednesday morning for Florida. So he’s not changing his routine at all.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump’s leaving office with his lowest approval rating yet — it’s down to 29 percent. Which, for someone who incited a violent insurrection to overthrow the government isn’t bad. I mean, honestly, what would he have to do to get below 20 percent — eat the Constitution?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump has the lowest average approval rating of any president in the modern era. The only one to leave office with a lower rating than that was Kevin Spacey.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Normally, after a president’s term, they show before and after photos to prove how much the job aged him. This time, they’re showing before and after photos of all of us.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trump’s Pardons Edition)“Sources say that tomorrow, on his last full day in office, the president is prepared to issue around 100 pardons and commutations. Why so many? Well, there’s reportedly a lucrative market for pardons. Finally, POTUS is running a business that makes money.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He’s calling it ‘The Olive Pardon.’ When you’re here, you’re a crime family.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“President Trump tomorrow is reportedly planning to issue at least 100 pardons and commutations. He said he wanted to give so many so that it would be even more hilarious when Giuliani doesn’t get one.” — SETH MEYERS“You can actually bet on who Trump will pardon, for real. And you know who the odds-on favorite is celebrity-wise? Lil Wayne, Trump’s buddy. They bonded over a mutual love of hip-hop and cough syrup.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“During his last hours in office, Trump is planning to issue pardons, but it’s reported it’s not going to be a pardon to himself or his family members. Trump is the only president in history who decides not to pardon himself and you immediately think, ‘What’s he up to?’” — JIMMY FALLON“I’m not surprised Trump didn’t pardon himself today because then he would be liable for whatever he does tomorrow.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Trump won’t pardon his family either. Actually it’s kind of sweet — Trump told his kids, ‘When I go down for tax fraud, I want you all to be in prison with me.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth Watching“Conan” provided a sneak peek at Trump’s “Pardonpalooza.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe actress Aubrey Plaza will pop by “Conan” on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutJavicia Leslie’s role in the CW’s “Batwoman” is her first lead part in a major TV series, and she performed many of her own stunts. “I love being up, like, 50 feet in the air,” she said.Credit…CWJavicia Leslie is the first-ever Black live-action Batwoman as the titular character on the second season of the CW series.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

    • 138 Shares99 Views

      in Television

      Late Night: Shocker. Trump Stiffs Giuliani and Won’t Take His Calls.

      by

      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night: Shocker. Trump Stiffs Giuliani and Won’t Take His Calls.“Impeachment was great, but there really is no more perfect way for this to end than Trump stiffing Rudy,” Seth Meyers said.“Guy spent all that time flying to state capitals, rounding up witnesses from the bars at TGI Fridays and Buffalo Wild Wings, and now Trump won’t even reimburse him,” Seth Meyers said on Thursday.Credit…NBCJan. 15, 2021, 2:12 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Sparing No ExpensesAs his term nears its end, President Trump is said to have refused to pay Rudy Giuliani, his lawyer, the day rate of $20,000 that he asked for. The president also reportedly demanded to personally oversee the approval of reimbursements of Giuliani’s travel expenses.“This is like the end of ‘The Sixth Sense,’ but instead of Bruce Willis realizing he’s been dead the whole time, it’s Donald Trump realizing that Rudy has the whole time been a bad lawyer,” Seth Meyers said on Thursday’s “Late Night.”“Impeachment was great, but there really is no more perfect way for this to end than Trump stiffing Rudy. Guy spent all that time flying to state capitals, rounding up witnesses from the bars at TGI Friday’s and Buffalo Wild Wings, and now Trump won’t even reimburse him. [Imitating Trump] ‘So, you owe me for the time I called you into the hearing. It went over on minutes, because Rudy, you’re not friends and you’re not family, so those minutes are costly.’” — SETH MEYERS“And poor Rudy needed that money for the hair transplant: [Imitating Giuliani] ‘Please, boss, I’m begging you. Don’t make me go back to the mud water!’” — SETH MEYERS“Trump doesn’t want to pay that. He could’ve hired Gary Busey for a hundred bucks to do the same thing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Sucks for Giuliani. Now he’s going to have to make money on the side, bottling Uncle Rudy’s Original Skull Syrup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Though I could understand wanting to take a closer look at Rudy’s expenses, given that so far, he’s submitted receipts for ‘Delta business-class brand plastic bottle vodka,’ ‘Uber XL T-shirt that I slept in behind the racetrack’ and ‘pay-per-view porn: “Oops! All Cousins!”’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They say Trump isn’t even taking Rudy’s calls anymore. Now the only way for Rudy to get through is if someone says his name three times in a mirror.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I wonder who leaked this story. Maybe it was Giuliani’s head.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But this is what Trump does. Even if you don’t jump ship, sooner or later he’ll throw you off it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“These two were inseparable, and now it’s come to this. It feels like Dr. Frankenstein breaking up with Igor.” — JIMMY FALLON“And you know Trump’s upset when he’s starting to make careful decisions with his money.” — JAMES CORDEN“This is like the end of ‘Jurassic Park’ when the raptors and the T-rex just turn on each other at the end.” — JAMES CORDEN“Trump says he is only ready to pay for two seasons’ worth of total landscaping.” — JAMES CORDEN“Rudy seemed blindsided by the decision, although when hair dye is constantly leaking into your eyes, it’s hard to see anything coming.” — JIMMY FALLON“I cannot wait until this somehow ends with Trump hiring Rudy Giuliani to sue Rudy Giuliani.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s great. The president’s spending his last days in office going over receipts like he’s Janis from accounting: [imitating Trump] ‘Did you stay two nights at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping? We’re not paying for that. That’s not a hotel.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Even if Trump doesn’t pay him back, at least Rudy racked up a ton of frequent-liar miles.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Moving Edition)“Tell you what, I would sign up for a streaming service that showed nothing but Trump’s stuff being moved out of the White House. I don’t know how much I would pay a month, but it’s a lot.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump’s still president for five more days, but that place is emptier than a rest-stop Cinnabon at 3 a.m.” — SETH MEYERS“Love to imagine Trump piling all his stuff into crates: his oversized suits, his ties that are so long that no matter how you pack them, a little bit pokes out.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump’s giving stuff away like the sun’s about to set on his weekend garage sale. He’s like, ‘You know what? It’s getting late — just take it. I was only going to charge a dime for it.’” — JIMMY FALLON“An unidentified trio seemed to have made off with a bust of Abraham Lincoln. Is it possible that Trump is looting the White House before he goes? He’s going to use that as a hood ornament on his golf cart.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And I sure hope someone is watching him pack because he’s definitely going to try to steal stuff. ‘Sir, why is the bust of Lincoln being packed away?’ ‘Uh, what? No, this is mine from home. I brought it. It’s not actually Lincoln — it’s my uncle, um, uh, Beard Trump.’” — SETH MEYERS“Later, another guy was seen carrying out Mike Pence. He was like, ‘Hey, put me down! I’m not a statue. Mother! Mother!’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingSenator Bernie Sanders weighed in on recent events in Washington while appearing on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutMichael Cimino in the Hulu series “Love, Victor,” which features a queer lead title character.Credit…Gilles Mingasson/Hulu, via Associated PressL.G.B.T.Q. representation on television has decreased for the first time in five years.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

    • 88 Shares189 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Reviews ‘Trump’s Impeachment: The Sequel’

      by

      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }What to WatchBest Movies on NetflixBest of Disney PlusBest of Amazon PrimeBest Netflix DocumentariesNew on NetflixAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightLate Night Reviews ‘Trump’s Impeachment: The Sequel’“Makes sense — this president loves having seconds,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday.“I feel like I just took down my decorations from the last impeachment,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday.Credit…CBSJan. 14, 2021, 1:48 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Second HelpingPresident Trump’s impeachment — his second, which is a presidential first — was big news on late night and everywhere else on Wednesday.“Makes sense — this president loves having seconds,” Stephen Colbert said on “The Late Show.”[embedded content]“I feel like I just took down my decorations from the last impeachment.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Twice! Man, this guy is hard to get rid of. He’s like a red wine stain on a white rug — we’re going to have to just get rid of the whole rug.” — SETH MEYERS“And like always, the sequel was a lot worse than the original.” — JIMMY FALLON“I know a lot of people are wondering, ‘Will I be able to follow the second impeachment if I missed the first?’ Yeah, same character, different plots.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, President Trump was impeached today for a second time — or, according to Fox News, ‘Fun rainy-day crafts to do with your grandkids.’” — SETH MEYERS“I wonder if he’s tired of all the winning yet.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s almost like he’s tanking the season so he can get the number one pick in the jailhouse fantasy draft.” — SETH MEYERS“Two impeachments, and just like Trump’s sons, the second one is the most embarrassing.” — JAMES CORDEN“I hope Trump supporters don’t suddenly become angry and volatile about this.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (a Few Good Republicans Edition)“It’s official: Mitch McConnell has turned his back on Trump, which means someone should probably help him because usually when Mitch McConnell flips on his back, it’s hard for him to get back up on the right side again.” — JAMES CORDEN“Well, it took them four years, but Trump finally figured out a way to unite Republicans and Democrats.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, 10 Republicans finally broke away from the president. Trump was so mad he started typing angry tweets about them on a calculator.” — JIMMY FALLON“McConnell is reported to be happy that the impeachment is happening, because he thinks it’ll be a good way for Republicans to get Trump out of their hairpieces.” — JIMMY KIMMEL”Reportedly, McConnell has told associates in private that he believes the president committed impeachable offenses and is leaning toward convicting him. It will all be in his memoir, ‘Leaning Toward Courage.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now this all seems promising, I know, but watch out, because there is actually nothing more disturbing than the sight of a pleased Mitch McConnell.” — JAMES CORDEN“McConnell’s apparent support for impeachment gives cover for others, meaning a dozen Republican senators — and possibly more — could ultimately vote to convict the president. Yes, at least a dozen, and possibly more, if there’s a sale at Bob’s Spine Barn.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingSomething big happens in Washington whenever Samantha Bee is a guest on “The Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe CW’s new Batwoman, Javicia Leslie, will stop by Thursday night’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutClockwise from top left, Gary Oldman in “Mank,” Lakeith Stanfield in “Judas and the Black Messiah,” Chadwick Boseman in “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom,” Riz Ahmed in “Sound of Metal,” Anthony Hopkins in “The Father” and Delroy Lindo in “Da 5 Bloods.”Credit…Clockwise from top left: Netflix; Glen Wilson/Warner Bros. Entertainment, via Associated Press; David Lee/Netflix; Amazon Studios; Sony Pictures Classics; NetflixThe late Chadwick Boseman’s performance in “Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom” looks like the favorite for Best Actor at this year’s Academy Awards.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

    • 125 Shares99 Views

      in Television

      Jimmy Fallon: Mike Pence Just Can’t Win With Trump Fans

      by

      #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }The Best of 2020Best ComedyBest TV ShowsBest BooksBest MoviesBest AlbumsAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyBest of Late NightJimmy Fallon: Mike Pence Just Can’t Win With Trump Fans“It’s a tough choice for Pence: Invoke the 25th and have MAGA nation hate you, or refuse and still have MAGA nation hate you,” Fallon said.“You could tell Pence was nervous, because he spent all day slamming milks like it was Friday at 5 p.m.,” Jimmy Fallon joked of House lawmakers’ call for Vice President Mike Pence to invoke the 25th Amendment against President Trump.Credit…NBCJan. 13, 2021, 2:35 a.m. ETWelcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Pence’s Choice: ‘Have MAGA Nation Hate You’The House on Tuesday formally called on Vice President Mike Pence to remove President Trump from office using the 25th Amendment, an idea Pence had already rejected.Though Pence did not yield to pressure from Trump to overturn the election results last week, which he did not have the authority to do anyway, he said that invoking the 25th Amendment “would further divide and inflame the passions of the moment.” Those passions include some of Trump’s supporters, whose votes the vice president would probably need for his own White House run, chanting, “Hang Mike Pence” as they stormed the Capitol in an effort to stop the election certification.“It’s a tough choice for Pence: Invoke the 25th and have MAGA nation hate you, or refuse and still have MAGA nation hate you,” Jimmy Fallon joked.“Of course Mike Pence isn’t going to do that. He’s not going to remove Donald Trump. Mike Pence doesn’t even remove his shirt.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You could tell Pence was nervous, because he spent all day slamming milks like it was Friday at 5 p.m.” — JIMMY FALLON“And you’d think Pence would be into the idea, considering the whole ‘Hang him’ thing. But you would be dead wrong, because yesterday, after days of silence, ‘The president and Mike Pence spoke for the first time, meeting in the Oval Office, and agreed that those who broke the law and stormed the Capitol last week do not represent their policy of America first.’ Well, of course this mob violence wasn’t America first — it was in Germany first. So, apparently, it’s all water under the gallows now.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The president and Mike Pence reportedly spoke yesterday in the Oval Office for the first time since last week’s attack on the Capitol, which had to be pretty awkward. But don’t worry, Trump accepted Pence’s apology.” — SETH MEYERS”Yeah, we’ve all been in Pence’s shoes, though, you know what I mean? That uncomfortable meeting with your boss after he sends a crazed mob of vengeful rioters to zip-tie you.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Alamo Edition)“Big T flew to Alamo, Texas, today to brag about his wall — and to remind the American people that he’s not just a dangerous megalomaniac; he’s also a racist.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Meanwhile, a confused Rudy Giuliani waited patiently 300 miles away at Al’s Amo.” — SETH MEYERS“It was very wise of Trump to take a victory lap at the border the same week his supporters showed the world that walls serve almost no purpose whatsoever when it comes to keeping people who want in out.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Well, that’s a wrap on a flawless administration.” — JAMES CORDEN“When they heard Trump was coming to the border, Mexico was like, ‘Phew, thank God that wall is here.’” — JIMMY FALLON“You know your presidency is off the rails when you have to distract from your attempted coup with your giant symbol of racism.” — JIMMY FALLON“What a nice reminder of how much the president hates people storming barriers and entering places they aren’t legally allowed.” — JAMES CORDEN“When asked what he was doing there, Trump said, ‘I’m just planning my escape.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yup, Trump visited the border in the town of Alamo, Texas. He was like, ‘Thanks to me, everyone will remember Alamo.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingAnne Hathaway shared her go-to karaoke song and first celebrity crush while playing a round of “Best Worst First” on “The Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightSamantha Bee will check in with Stephen Colbert on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutSally Rooney, whose first two books have been critical and commercial successes, will release her next two with Farrar, Straus and Giroux.Credit…Erik Voake/Getty ImagesThe “Normal People” author Sally Rooney has a new novel coming in September: “Beautiful World, Where Are You.”AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More