Fallon, Jimmy

Subterms

    More stories

    • 113 Shares169 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Sums Up the Biden and Putin Summit

      by

      “I had a feeling those two weren’t going to make it to the hometown date,” Jimmy Kimmel joked after the leaders cut their meeting short.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Looking for more to watch? Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Ending Things EarlyPresident Biden’s short, tense meeting in Geneva with President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia was the talk of late night on Wednesday.“I had a feeling those two weren’t going to make it to the hometown date,” Jimmy Kimmel said in a reference to the dating show, “The Bachelor.”“The ‘Boniva in Geneva’ didn’t have to clear a very high bar. It just had to be less embarrassing than the ‘Stinky in Helsinki.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, President Biden and Russian President Vladimir Putin met in Geneva today for about four hours with a few breaks, but no meals because nobody would volunteer to be the food taster.” — SETH MEYERS“Biden went into the day hoping to promote ‘predictability and stability,’ also the name of the most boring Jane Austen novel.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The meeting was expected to be five hours, but lasted only half that time. Not a great sign when your summit is barely longer than ‘Peter Rabbit 2.’” — JIMMY FALLON“It was pretty much the opposite of the ‘Friends’ reunion.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Chicken Soup for the Russian Soul’ Edition)“‘In life there is no happiness.’ That’s basically how Russian soccer moms say ‘Live, laugh, love.’” — TREVOR NOAH, on Putin’s quoting Leo Tolstoy in a news conference.“That’s actually an excerpt from Putin’s new book, ‘Chicken Soup for the Russian Soul.’” — JIMMY FALLON“‘There’s no happiness in life’ sounds like the slogan for Russian Applebee’s.” — JIMMY FALLON“You do not want this guy giving a toast at your wedding. [imitating Putin] ‘Congratulations to Jeffrey and Diane. May the specter of happiness haunt you. Now, please have some cake. It is made of vanilla and children’s tears, for what is life but a difficult birth astride a grave? The light gleams for an instant, then it is night once more. Mazel tov!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I’m guessing this is probably why Putin isn’t asked to speak at a lot of graduations.” — JAMES CORDEN“There’s another expression that goes ‘If Vladimir Putin gives you pudding, don’t eat it — because it’s probably filled with plutonium.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJames Corden took the cast of “Friends” for a ride around the Warner Bros. studios, ending on their iconic set.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightSaweetie will perform on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutHBO“Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “Pen15,” and “Atlanta” are among the 21 best comedies of the 21st century (so far). More

    • 125 Shares99 Views

      in Television

      Trevor Noah: Marjorie Taylor Greene Has a Lot to Learn

      by

      Late-night hosts were unimpressed with the Georgia congresswoman’s apology for comparing pandemic restrictions to the Holocaust.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Looking for more to watch? Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

    • 100 Shares189 Views

      in Television

      Seth Meyers Sums Up Biden’s Time at G7

      by

      “Biden’s message at these meetings has been simple: America is back. You know, like the McRib, America’s back for a limited time only, offer not valid in Florida,” Meyers joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Looking for more to watch? Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

    • 113 Shares179 Views

      in Television

      Trevor Noah Thanks Anti-Vaxxers on Behalf of Other Countries

      by

      “Seems generous until you remember that Biden can’t get anyone else in America to take them, right?” Noah said of the president’s plan to donate 500 million Covid-19 vaccine doses to 100 countries.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Looking for more to watch? Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

    • 113 Shares189 Views

      in Television

      Stephen Colbert Thinks President Biden Can Win Europe Back

      by

      “Come on, Europe, you can’t judge us. You had fascists; we had fascists. You have rulers that marry their cousins; we have Rudy, who married his cousin,” Colbert joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Looking for more to watch? Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Euro TripPresident Biden embarked on his first presidential trip abroad on Tuesday with hopes of strengthening bonds with European leaders that had been damaged, in part, by Donald Trump.“Come on, Europe, you can’t judge us. You had fascists; we had fascists. You have rulers that marry their cousins; we have Rudy, who married his cousin. You had Nosferatu; we have — we have Rudy. Potato, pot-ah-to,” Stephen Colbert said.“He’s going to see the sites, ride the rails, come back saying words like ‘lorry’ and ‘zed,’ complaining about how bad our butter is over here. Of course, switching from double fisting ice cream to double fisting gelato.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s going to be a little awkward trying to mend fences. Every speech he gives is going to begin with ‘Uh, hey, look, about the last guy — sorry about that.’” — JAMES CORDEN“Yep, Biden’s going to England, Belgium and Switzerland, and he won’t come home until he finds a new host for ‘The Bachelor.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Biden is hoping to repair ties with our European allies. I think he’ll be well received. I mean, for starters, there won’t be a giant baby balloon following him wherever he goes.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Cicada Attack Edition)“The news coverage of Biden’s trip got off to a bumpy start. The White House press plane was delayed almost seven hours because a swarm of cicadas flew into the engine of the plane. If this was a movie, the government would have to go to a cabin in the woods to convince Sully Sullenberger to do one last job.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“United was like, ‘Ooh, that’s good; can we use that?’” — JIMMY FALLON“And they’re so out of touch. They haven’t been aboveground since 2004, and it shows. I mean, look at this one — Ed Hardy shirt, Von Dutch hat, and he’s using a BlackBerry, wearing one of those Live Strong bracelets. It’s embarrassing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Oh, [expletive], a cicada got Joe Biden? I’m no scientist but I’m pretty sure that means Joe Biden is now going to turn into a cicada.” — TREVOR NOAH, on Biden’s swatting away a cicada on camera“Tomorrow, that cicada will be on Fox News in a neck brace calling for Biden to be impeached: ‘See what he did to me! It’s on tape.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The cicada returned to his buddies like, ‘Damn, the old man’s quicker than I expected.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Forget the Secret Service; that man needs a SWAT team!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Meanwhile, Mike Pence was like, ‘Bugs on your head — you’re supposed to save that for the big debate.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingKristen Bell played a game of “You Can Only Keep One” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightTig Notaro, star of Netflix’s “Army of the Dead,” will appear on Thursday’s “Conan.”Also, Check This OutKevin James and Leah Remini in “King of Queens.” In one episode, James’s character plots to keep his wife thin.CBSA new AMC+ show satirizes the tradition of hot wives with schlubby husbands on network sitcoms. More

    • 138 Shares119 Views

      in Television

      Jimmy Fallon Throws Jabs at Trump’s New Tour With Bill O’Reilly

      by

      “Backstage passes automatically come with a hush money payment of $130,000. Isn’t that nice?” Jimmy Fallon joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Looking for more to watch? Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Tour de DistortsDonald Trump and Bill O’Reilly announced a new speaking tour on Tuesday, with dates lined up in Texas and Florida for December.“It should be a fun tour. Backstage passes automatically come with a hush money payment of $130,000. Isn’t that nice?” Jimmy Fallon joked.“When he heard, Sean Hannity was like, ‘Well, I met someone new and totally awesome, too, so.’” — JIMMY FALLON“He’s teaming up with Bill O’Reilly for a series of live events they’re calling ‘The History Tour,’ which was also the name of Michael Jackson’s tour 25 years ago. And wait until you hear those two duet on ‘The Girl Is Mine.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Better lock up your daughters. Seriously, though, it’s probably best if you do. You know, just till they’re out of town.” — SETH MEYERS“They’re planning to do four shows, and tickets go on sale next week. So if you enjoyed Charlie Sheen’s ‘Violent Torpedo of Truth’ tour, but weren’t so excited about the ‘truth’ part, this might be your thing.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Internet Outage Edition)“The internet was down for almost an hour today. Multiple major websites crashed this morning due to an outage at a company I’d never heard of before, a cloud services company called Fastly, which sounds like it was named by Donald Trump demanding a Diet Coke.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Amazon, CNN, The New York Times, Pinterest, Twitch, Google, eBay and more went offline for 50 minutes. It led to the world’s most productive hour of time in the last 30 years.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It even affected the print edition’s front-page story: ‘Error 503: Newspaper unavailable.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Amazon’s website was temporarily down this morning due to an issue with their cloud computing services provider. But don’t worry. I’m sure that flight into outer space next month will go great.” — SETH MEYERS“But it all came back, thank goodness. Everyone in the world hit control-alt-delete at the same time and, voilà, the internet is back — whew!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But don’t worry: Serious news sources, like this show, were untouched.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingLin-Manuel Miranda and Jimmy Fallon celebrated the Great White Way’s return with “Broadway’s Back.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightLisa Kudrow will reconnect with James Corden, the “Friends” reunion host, on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutIn his book “Hola Papi,” John Paul Brammer is both kind and piercingly funny, often in the same sentence, as he writes about queer life.Zack Knoll
      John Paul Brammer’s new book, “Hola Papi,” was born out of a popular advice column on the gay dating app Grindr. More

    • 88 Shares189 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Is Tickled by Trump’s Pants

      by

      “You know, usually if you got this close to Trump’s crotch, he’d pay you $130,000,” Jimmy Kimmel joked of rumors that the former president had worn his pants backward.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

    • 113 Shares109 Views

      in Television

      Seth Meyers Calls Trump the ‘David Blaine of Crime’

      by

      “If he ever goes to trial, he’ll just regurgitate a frog that has ‘not guilty’ written on its back,” Meyers joked on Wednesday night.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More