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    Jimmy Kimmel and Ted Cruz Rekindle an Old Feud

    Kimmel wouldn’t let Senator Cruz call the military “woke” and “emasculated,” so the Texas Republican reminded the comedian of his loss in their 2018 basketball game.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Kimmel vs. Cruz, the RematchJimmy Kimmel on Tuesday rehashed the details of a new feud with Senator Ted Cruz. It began, Kimmel explained, when the Texas Republican posted a tweet in which he referred to the U.S. military as “woke” and “emasculated.”“Which I pointed out fairly, I thought, is funny coming from a guy who let Donald Trump use his testicles on the driving range,” Kimmel said. “I mean, look, he was Trump’s Theon Greyjoy,” he said in reference to the character from “Game of Thrones,” who was castrated.Cruz responded by tweeting about his winning a one-on-one basketball game with the comedian in 2018.“He’s right. It’s true. I do have to live with that forever. You have to live with being Ted Cruz forever, which is so much worse.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“After you won the game, do you remember what I did? I said, ‘Good game, thanks’ and I shook your disgusting hand. I didn’t complain that it was rigged. I didn’t ask for a recount on the referee. I didn’t start a conspiracy theory about the basketball having a microchip in it. I accepted it. I brought shame on my family and I embraced it, as I always do. And, I mean, listen, it was a terrible day. I lost a basketball game to a man who ate one of his own boogers during a presidential debate.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Biden and Putin, Together Again Edition)“Well guys, today, the White House announced that President Biden will have his first one-on-one meeting with Vladimir Putin on June 16. Yeah, it’s a nice reminder that after a year in quarantine, you’re going to have to see some people you don’t like.” — JIMMY FALLON“I can’t wait to see how these two guys try to out-macho each other during the summit. It’s like, [imitating Biden] ‘I don’t need a bathroom break, do you?’ [imitating Putin] ‘No, in fact let’s take off our shirts and have a pec-flexing contest.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, this will be their first in-person meeting since Biden told Putin, ‘I don’t think you have a soul.’ It’s going to be fun when Putin tells Biden, ‘Say once more so I can use for outgoing voice mail.’” — JIMMY FALLON“They just hope it does not come down to a staring contest, because both of those guys have had a lot of Botox. Could be a long one.” — SETH MEYERS“According to the White House, Biden and Putin will discuss a full range of pressing issues from Ukraine to government hacking to whether or not they’ve guessed the killer on ‘Mare of Easttown.’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingThe singer Richard Marx surprised Stephen Colbert by stopping by “The Late Show” to confront rumors that he’s inciting violence against Senator Rand Paul.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightAndrew Rannells, the star of “Girls5Eva,” will appear on “A Little Late With Lilly Singh.”Also, Check This OutJon Kopaloff/Getty ImagesThe newly minted action star Tig Notaro is a fan of classic rock and vintage motorcycles. More

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    Stephen Colbert: Rand Paul ‘Randsplained’ His Vaccine Refusal

    “Senator Paul has been a bit of a skeptic of how bad Covid really is, which is probably why he got Covid,” Colbert said on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel Rakes Republicans for Downplaying the Capitol Attack

    “You know, when a violent mob attacked our embassy in Benghazi, Republicans in Congress investigated it eight times,” Kimmel said. “A violent mob attacked the U.S. Capitol, they’re like: ‘Tourists! What are you gonna do?’”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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    Trevor Noah Wonders if America Is Ready for a Giuliani Dynasty

    Rudy Giuliani’s son, Andrew, announced his candidacy for governor of New York on Tuesday. The “Daily Show” host is surprised that he wants the job.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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    Trevor Noah Can’t Believe Biden Has a Venmo Account

    “Joe Biden has a Venmo account? How? The dude is, like, 150 years old,” Noah joked, saying he assumed Biden “paid for everything with silver dollars.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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    Jimmy Fallon Is Psyched About Going Maskless

    “Yeah, if you are fully vaccinated, you can go back to doing the things you did before the pandemic,” Fallon said. “Well, not everything — if you’re Trump, you still can’t tweet.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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    Jimmy Kimmel Finds Irony in the G.O.P. Vote to Cancel Liz Cheney

    “I’m confused — I thought these guys hated cancel culture,” Kimmel said after the Republicans ousted Cheney from her leadership position in the House on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Ouster of Liz CheneyLate-night hosts were all over the vote by Republicans to boot Representative Liz Cheney on Wednesday from her House leadership post after she refused to toe the party line on Donald J. Trump.“I’m confused — I thought these guys hated cancel culture,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“I never thought I’d be pro-Cheney in any way, but it has happened.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“She said Republicans must speak the truth; the election was not stolen. So she had to go.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Living in reality should be the bare minimum for holding public office, and yet today’s G.O.P. is so [expletive] crazy, simply living in reality is considered heresy.” — SETH MEYERS“I mean, here they are, trying to move past the attempted coup and focus on looking forward to the next attempted coup, but Cheney just wouldn’t let it go.” — TREVOR NOAH“Wow, I respect Liz Cheney taking a stand against Trump, but it does feel a little less threatening when she’s doing it as she’s being removed from power, you know? It’s got the vibe of a villain falling into a volcano while saying, ‘This isn’t over!’” — TREVOR NOAH“Cheney was ousted via voice vote during a closed-door meeting. So we don’t know exactly what happened, but sources in the room say she made a defiant final speech that drew boos from her colleagues. But to be fair, Matt Gaetz boos any woman not wearing braces.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Her principal political patron is a man who was compared to Darth Vader and took it as a compliment. She learned Washington infighting from a man who lived a year with no heartbeat. If I were Kevin McCarthy, I’d grow a beard and dig a spider hole.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Liz ‘Loose Canon’ Cheney Edition)“House Republicans voted today to remove G.O.P. conference chair Liz Cheney from her leadership position, but they’re already claiming it never happened.” — SETH MEYERS“You know, you can’t have Republicans going around saying Biden won the election — people might get the right idea.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, Republicans haven’t turned on someone this fast since they tried to murder Mike Pence.” — JIMMY FALLON“They had to! She was a loose cannon. They made her turn in her badge and her gun, and her other gun, and her other, other gun. They really like guns.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“After the vote, Liz Cheney said that she doesn’t want Trump to get near the Oval Office ever again. Yeah, it’s not that hard — all you have to do is hang a sign outside that says, ‘Just Salad.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingSamantha Bee dedicated Wednesday’s “Full Frontal” to confronting gun violence and asking viewers to “do one [expletive] thing about guns.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightChris Rock, star of “Spiral,” will be on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutThe Go-Go’s in the early 1980s. From left: Kathy Valentine, Jane Wiedlin, Gina Schock, Charlotte Caffey and Belinda Carlisle.Paul Natkin/WireImageHalf of this year’s Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees are women, including Tina Turner, Carole King and the Go-Go’s. More

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    Stephen Colbert Roasts Jeff Bezos for His ‘Support Yacht’

    The founder of Amazon has a new superyacht that is so big, it requires a second yacht with a helipad. “I mean, who hasn’t needed a separate yacht just for his helicopter?” Colbert joked on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More