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    Jennette McCurdy Is Ready to Move Forward, and to Look Back

    In her memoir, “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” McCurdy, best known for her role in“iCarly,” reflects on her time as a child actor and on her troubled relationship with her mother.When Jennette McCurdy was 16, she was in her third year on “iCarly,” the hit teen sitcom on Nickelodeon. Millions of young viewers admired her for her comic portrayal of Sam Puckett, the wisecracking pal of its title character, and she was proud that her lucrative work was helping to support her family.McCurdy was also living under the stringent control of her mother, Debra, who oversaw her career, determined her meals — her dinners consisted of shredded pieces of low-cal bologna and lettuce sprayed with dressing — and even administered her showers.Her mother gave her breast and vaginal exams, which she said were inspections for cancer, and shaved her daughter’s legs while McCurdy remained largely uneducated about the changes her body was experiencing.She struggled with obsessive-compulsive disorder, eating disorders and anxiety triggered by the constant attention she received as a celebrity, but she felt trapped in her work. She also believed she owed her unfaltering loyalty to her mother, who had recovered from breast cancer when Jennette was very young, only for her cancer to return in 2010, at the height of her daughter’s fame.Debra McCurdy died in 2013, and Jennette, now 30, is still reckoning with the gravitational pull exerted by her mother, who steered her to the trade that gave her visibility and financial stability while she controlled virtually every aspect of her daughter’s existence.When Jennette McCurdy wrote a memoir, which Simon and Schuster will publish on Aug. 9, it was clear to her that her relationship with her mother would provide its narrative force. “It’s the heartbeat of my life,” she said recently.McCurdy as Sam and Miranda Cosgrove as Carly in “iCarly.”Lisa Rose/NickelodeonThe book is titled “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” and its cover bears the image of McCurdy, a narrow half-smile on her face, holding a pink funeral urn with confetti strands peeking over its rim. The presentation might be off-putting to some readers; the author is well aware. But she also feels it accurately encapsulates a coming-of-age story that is alternately harrowing and mordantly funny.When you have grown up as she has, feeling tenderness and anger toward a person you’ve seen wield immense power while fighting for her own life, she said, “You can’t believe how hard and how laughable it is at the same time. That’s completely my sense of humor.”“I feel like I’ve done the processing and put in the work to earn a title or a thought that feels provocative,” she added.Though McCurdy may have the résumé of a seasoned Hollywood veteran, she carried herself like a wide-eyed tourist on a visit to New York in late June. Over afternoon tea at the BG Restaurant in midtown Manhattan, she gazed at fellow patrons, asked for Broadway theater recommendations and chided herself about a transcendental meditation class she’d taken near her home in Los Angeles.“So far, I haven’t seen any results,” she said with a chuckle, “but we’ll see.”When it comes to new endeavors, McCurdy said, “I think things should feel natural. So much of my life was about forcing or pushing things. So when something feels like it’s working, I’ll let that be, and anything else can fall by the wayside.”As McCurdy recounts in her memoir, she was 6 when she started auditioning for acting roles, having been shepherded into the work by her mother, who was her herself discouraged from becoming an actress by her own parents.Growing up in Southern California, McCurdy was cast in TV commercials and shows like “Mad TV,” “Malcolm in the Middle” and “CSI” before landing “iCarly,” which had its debut in 2007. Yet she never had any illusions about who was really benefiting from these accomplishments. As she writes of the moment she learned she had booked “iCarly,” “Everything’s going to be better. Mom will finally be happy. Her dream has come true.”McCurdy endured various embarrassments and indignities at Nickelodeon, where she writes of being photographed in a bikini at a wardrobe fitting and being encouraged to drink alcohol by an intimidating figure she simply calls the Creator. In situations where her mother was present, Debra did not intervene or speak up, instructing Jennette that this was the price of showbiz success: “Everyone wants what you have,” she would tell her daughter.When McCurdy was promised an “iCarly” spinoff, she assumed she’d be given her own show — only to receive a co-starring slot on “Sam & Cat,” which paired her with the future pop-music sensation Ariana Grande.There, she says her superiors on these shows prevented her from pursuing career opportunities outside the show while Grande thrived in her extracurricular work. As McCurdy writes, “What finally undid me was when Ariana came whistle-toning in with excitement because she had spent the previous evening playing charades at Tom Hanks’s house. That was the moment I broke.”McCurdy, as Sam, and Ariana Grande as Cat in Sam & Cat, on Nickelodeon.Lisa Rose/NickelodeonAs McCurdy grew older and more independent, her relationship with her mother became further strained. The book reproduces an email in which her mother calls her “a SLUT,” “a FLOOZY” and “an UGLY MONSTER,” then concludes with a request for money for a refrigerator. When Debra had a recurrence of cancer and died, Jennette, then 21, was liberated — and left to navigate a complex world without her guidance, contending with destructive romantic relationships, bulimia, anorexia and alcohol abuse.“iCarly” ended its original run in 2012, and “Sam & Cat” ran just one season from 2013-14, after which, McCurdy writes, she turned down a $300,000 offer from Nickelodeon if she agreed never to speak publicly about her experiences at the network. (A press representative for Nickelodeon declined to comment.)She was free to reclaim her personal life and pursue other projects, like the Netflix science-fiction series “Between.” But she found it difficult to let go of the resentment from how she’d been treated when she was younger. As she said in an interview, “It felt like all these decisions were being made on my behalf and I was the last one to know about them. That’s really infuriating. It led to a lot of rage.”Even now, McCurdy found that revisiting the era of her child stardom resurfaced raw feelings about a parent, and an industry, that had failed to protect her.“My whole childhood and adolescence were very exploited,” she said, her eyes brimming with tears. “It still gives my nervous system a reaction to say it. There were cases where people had the best intentions and maybe didn’t know what they were doing. And also cases where they did — they knew exactly what they were doing.”Marcus McCurdy, the oldest of Jennette’s three brothers, said that their mother was consistently volatile when they were growing up.“You were always walking on eggshells — is it going to be nice mom or crazy mom today?” he said. “One day she’d be fine, the next day she’d be yelling at everybody. Every holiday was super overdramatic. She’d lose her mind on Christmas if something wasn’t perfect.”Friends and colleagues from Jennette McCurdy’s time as a child actor said they could sense the tension in her relationship with her mother, even if they did not yet know the exact details.“Jennette can be outgoing, very forward and bright and electric,” said David Archuleta, the pop singer and “American Idol” finalist. “I could also tell she was very guarded, very protective of her mom and they were very close.”Archuleta, whose career was closely controlled by his father when he was a minor, said such arrangements can be destructive for children.“Because you’re always with that parent, they don’t really let you around anyone else,” Archuleta said. “You don’t look at it as a control thing — you look at it as, ‘Oh, they’re looking out for me.’ And they make you feel like everyone is against you.”Over time, Archuleta added, the parent may turn toxic. “It gets to where it’s like, ‘You can’t make any decisions on your own. You can’t do anything on your own. You’re too dumb.’”Miranda Cosgrove, the star of “iCarly,” said that though she and McCurdy quickly became close on the show, she was initially unaware of many difficulties her friend was facing, which McCurdy only revealed as they became older.“When you’re young, you’re so in your own head,” Cosgrove said. “You can’t imagine that people around you are having much harder struggles.”In a softer voice, Cosgrove added, “You don’t expect things like that from the person in the room who’s making everyone laugh.”“So much of my life was about forcing or pushing things,” McCurdy said. Now, “I think things should feel natural.”Ahmed Gaber for The New York TimesFor McCurdy, opening up about herself to the wider world has been a long-term process. In her late teens and early 20s, she wrote essays for The Wall Street Journal that shared some of her insights into child stardom. But today she feels she was not fully candid.“If I had been truthful at that time,” she explained, “I would have said, ‘Yeah, I wrote this and then I went and made myself throw up for four minutes afterward.’”A few years ago, McCurdy started writing a new series of personal essays, including several about her mother, and shared them with her manager at the time. “My manager sent me back a nice email that said, ‘This is great — I don’t really know what to do with this.’ I’ll never forget the ‘xoxo’ at the end.” (McCurdy no longer works with that manager.)Instead, she began performing a one-woman show, also called “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” in Los Angeles. Though the pandemic impeded plans to take the show on the road, McCurdy used some of her down time to craft the memoir. “I really wanted to build it out a lot more, get more into the childhood aspect of the story and work through the arc in a way that you only can with a book,” she explained.Marcus McCurdy said he supported his sister’s decision to write her memoir, even if her calling it “I’m Glad My Mom Died” has caused some consternation in the family.“Our grandmother is very upset about that title,” Marcus said, adding that he and his sister share a similar sense of humor. “It’s more of a coping mechanism,” he said. “You can either be like, ‘Woe is me, my life is horrible.’ Or you find the humor in these things that are really tragic.”Archuleta also said it was empowering for McCurdy to write her book. “It’s given her back some of her strength, her confidence,” he said.McCurdy is writing another set of essays about coming into her own in her 20s, as well as a novel. (Its protagonist, she said, is “either who I wish I could be in some aspects, or who I hope I never am in other aspects. But it’s probably me, right?”)Aside from a few watch parties that her family held for her earliest episodic TV work, McCurdy told me, “I’ve never seen any of the shows that I’ve been on.” For her, these were fraught documents of her suffering and unwelcome reminders of the helplessness she felt at the time.A few years ago, after the cancellation of her Netflix series, McCurdy decided to take a break from acting. As she writes in the memoir, “I want my life to be in my hands. Not an eating disorder’s or a casting director’s or an agent’s or my mom’s. Mine.” She did not take part in a recent revival of “iCarly” on Paramount+. But McCurdy said that her experience with her one-woman show has shown her there might be ways that performance could be constructive for her in the future.“It felt significant in repairing some of the really weighted, complicated relationships that I had with acting,” she said. “It felt like finally I’m saying my words and saying things I want to be saying. I’m myself.”Though McCurdy can still find it uncomfortable to reflect on her past, it also makes her hopeful to focus on the present and to see the friends and colleagues who are part of her life because she alone chose for them to be in it.“I have people around me now that are so supportive and so loving,” she said. “It makes me tearful with joy. I feel so safe. I feel so much trust and so much openness.” More

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    Taylor, Billie, Demi, Blackpink: The Pop Star Documentary Boom

    It used to be that stars had to be reliably famous for a long time before documentary cameras chased them around. But everything is filmed now, anyhow, and pop stars are embracing this sort of serious treatment at earlier phases in their careers.In recent years, that’s meant entries from Taylor Swift, who used it to reset her public politics; Billie Eilish, who reinforced her relentless chill; Shawn Mendes and Ariana Grande, who mostly preened; and Blackpink, which took the chance to reveal more than the usual K-pop group.Perhaps the most extreme example is the current YouTube docu-series “Demi Lovato: Dancing With the Devil,” a stark and sometimes harrowing retelling of the pop star’s trials with addiction and sexual assault.On this week’s Popcast, a conversation about how the documentary boom parallels the rise in social media self-documentation, how art is deployed in service of purported authenticity, and what happens when the person being documented is more in charge than the director.Guests:Simran Hans, a film critic at The ObserverCaryn Ganz, The New York Times’s pop music editor More

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    How Pop Music Fandom Became Sports, Politics, Religion and All-Out War

    #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }The Best of 2020Best ComedyBest TV ShowsBest BooksBest MoviesBest AlbumsAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyThe Great ReadHow Pop Music Fandom Became Sports, Politics, Religion and All-Out WarOn social media this year, the stan was ascendant, fueling commercial competition, trolling and other arcane battles. How did we get here?Superfans’ antics reached the mainstream this year, but have operated at a constant hum since the internet helped turn pop music loyalty into a 24-hours-a-day job.Credit…Son of Alan/Folio ArtDec. 25, 2020, 5:00 a.m. ETBenjamin Cordero, a high school student from western New York, has a thing for pop divas, but especially Lady Gaga.Previously a casual fan of whatever was on the radio, Cordero was converted when the singer performed during the Super Bowl halftime show in 2017, and in the bountiful time since — which included “A Star Is Born” — his devotion has only grown.Earlier this year, as Lady Gaga prepared to release her latest album, “Chromatica,” Cordero joined Twitter, the current hub of pop superfandom, where he dedicated his account to all things Gaga. He tweeted thousands of times during the pandemic, often in dense lingo and inside jokes, along with hundreds of his fellow travelers, known as Little Monsters — internet friends whom he calls his “mutuals.”But these days, in these circles, joy and community are rarely enough. There are also battles to be waged and scores to be settled with rival groups or critics. And for Cordero, that meant trolling Ariana Grande fans.In October, with “Chromatica” having registered as a modest hit, Grande’s own new album, “Positions,” leaked online before its official release. Cordero, who liked Grande well enough but found her new music to be lacking, shared a link to the unreleased songs, much to the consternation of Grande fans, who worried that the bootlegged versions would damage the singer’s commercial prospects.Taking on the role of volunteer internet detectives, Grande fans proceeded to spend days playing Whac-a-Mole by flagging links to the unauthorized album as they proliferated across the internet. But Cordero, bored and sensing their agita, decided to bait them even further by tweeting — falsely — that he’d subsequently been fined $150,000 by Grande’s label for his role in spreading the leak. “is there any way I can get out of this,” he wrote. “I’m so scared.” He even shared a picture of himself crying.“They were rejoicing,” Cordero recalled giddily of the Grande fans he’d fooled, who spread the word far and wide that the leaker — a Gaga lover, no less — was being punished. “Sorry but I feel no sympathy,” one Grande supporter wrote on Reddit. “Charge him, put him in jail. you can’t leak an album by the world’s biggest pop star and expect no consequences.”This was pop fandom in 2020: competitive, arcane, sales-obsessed, sometimes pointless, chaotic, adversarial, amusing and a little frightening — all happening almost entirely online. While music has long been intertwined with internet communities and the rise of social networks, a growing faction of the most vocal and dedicated pop enthusiasts have embraced the term “stan” — taken from the 20-year-old Eminem song about a superfan turned homicidal stalker — and are redefining what it means to love an artist.On what is known as Stan Twitter — and its offshoots on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Tumblr and various message boards — these devotees compare No. 1s and streaming statistics like sports fans do batting averages, championship wins and shooting percentages. They pledge allegiance to their favorites like the most rabid political partisans or religious followers. They organize to win awards show polls, boost sales and raise money like grass roots activists. And they band together to pester — or harass, and even dox — those who may dare to slight the stars they have chosen to align themselves with.“These people don’t even know who we are, but we spend countless days and months defending them from some stranger on the internet,” said Cordero, who later revealed his Grande prank, gaining nothing but the ability to revel in the backlash.“When someone says something about Lady Gaga that’s negative, a little bit of yourself inside is hurt,” he explained of his own loyalty. “You see yourself in your favorite artists — you associate with them, whether it’s just the music or it’s their personality. So when someone insults your favorite artist, you take that as a personal insult, and then you find yourself spending hours trying to convince someone in China that ‘Born This Way’ was her best album.”“It’s definitely a playing field to us,” Cordero said. “We throw them in the ring, they battle it out, we cheer them on.”This year — one in which so much of everyday life was confined to virtual spaces because of the coronavirus — such antics garnered mainstream attention when fans of the K-pop group BTS targeted President Trump (and donated to Black Lives Matter) or when Taylor Swift supporters spit venom at those critics who thought her new album was anything less than perfect. Recently, NBC was forced to apologize after fans of Selena Gomez revolted in reaction to an off-color joke about the singer in a reboot of “Saved by the Bell.”But these battles also occurred at a near-constant clip on a smaller scale, in large part because of the incentives of the platforms where we now gather.In the past, “the media that we had didn’t facilitate these huge public spaces where attention is a commodity,” said Nancy Baym, an author and researcher who has studied fan behavior online since the 1990s. “There’s been this very long process of fans gaining cultural attention, gaining influence, and recognition of how to wield that influence, and now we’re seeing it more because media are at a point where it’s really putting it out there in front of us.”Before destinations like Twitter, YouTube and Spotify — where numbers and what’s trending are central to the interface — there were self-selecting mailing lists, bulletin boards, Usenet news groups, fan sites and official URLs, where Grateful Dead or Prince fans could gather to digitize lyrics, sell tickets or trade tapes.The availability of analytics, including sales figures and chart positions, has helped transform fandom into something quantifiable.Credit…Son of Alan/Folio Art“It was more about the community within — connecting with other fans of the same artist — and wasn’t as competitive,” Baym said. “In some ways it was competitive, but it was more, ‘How many times have you seen them live?’”In the early 2000s, Myspace in many ways marked a turning point, presaging an era of social media in which fans could connect directly with artists in a way they hadn’t before, causing some people to become more hostile, abusive or entitled, Baym said. At the same time, “American Idol” pitted fandoms against one another in the form of a popular vote, and what were once more insular conversations among enthusiasts began oozing outward.Matthew James, 22, who started the nostalgic blog Pop Culture Died in 2009 when he was 15, recalled when music forums like ATRL or LiveJournal communities like Oh No They Didn’t! were a temporary escape. “You would log in after your day at school or work, and you had that small window of time on the internet,” he said. “Even 10 years ago, it was still confined to these corners — you could really distance yourself very easily. Now that is not possible since everything has been moved from separate websites to these centralized social media platforms.”“With iPhones and everything, we’ve seen that small window of time you could be a fan turn into 24/7,” James added. “People never log off.”Paul Booth, a professor of media studies at DePaul University, researches how people use popular culture for emotional support and pleasure. In an interview, he noted that in the last decade, “It’s gone from a general understanding that there are people out there that call themselves fans, but we don’t really know who they are or what they do to, ‘I’m a fan, you’re a fan, everyone’s a fan.’ It’s absolutely become everyday discussion.”“Before, those people existed, but they were meeting in the basement yelling at each other,” he said. “Now they’re meeting on Twitter and yelling at each other, and everyone can see it.”While early stereotypes about fanatics focused on possessed, shrieking teeny-boppers or stalkers and killers, from Mark David Chapman to “Misery” and Yolanda Saldivar, fans were taken more seriously as a subculture in the late 1990s and 2000s, when they were seen as creators themselves, spawning zines, fan fiction and YouTube montages.But with the rise of internet-first congregations like Beyoncé’s BeyHive, Justin Bieber’s Beliebers and Nicki Minaj’s Barbz in the 2010s, an evangelical fervor became a prerequisite and the word “stan,” used as both a noun and a verb, continued to gain prominence and even positive connotations.“It’s a reclamation of the negative term as a badge of honor — ‘I am a stan because I feel so much for this artist,’” Booth said.As the politicization of the internet ratcheted up after Gamergate in 2014, fan groups increasingly adopted the tactics of troll armies from 4chan and Reddit, working in large anonymous groups — often behind celebrity avatars that broadcast fealty — to bend online conversation to their will. And unlike admirers of “Star Wars” or Marvel properties, which are more sprawling narrative fandoms, music fans — like supporters of Bernie Sanders or President Trump — are often investing in a single individual, making things even more personal.“It all boils down to emotions, which is something we don’t take seriously enough in our culture,” Booth said. “When people are passionate about something to the point that they’re identifying with it, and it becomes part of who they are — whether it’s a political party, a political person or celebrity — they’re going to fight.”They’re also going to buy. As artists have come to recognize their direct influence over swaths of their online public — sometimes siccing them on detractors, or at least failing to call them off — they have also come to rely on their constant consumption, especially in the streaming era.“You might have a local” — stan slang for a casual fan — “buy a record,” said Cordero, the Lady Gaga loyalist. “But a person on Stan Twitter probably bought that record 10 times, streamed a song on three separate playlists and racked up hundreds and hundreds of plays.”He added: “It’s basically promotion, free labor — we’re practically chained against the wall with our phones.” (Lady Gaga recently advertised “Chromatica”-branded cookies as an “Oreo Stan Club.”)In addition to fueling a merchandise boom, these pop fans have taken it upon themselves to learn the rules governing the Billboard charts and the streaming platforms that provide their data, hoping to maximize commercial impact for bragging rights.“Shall we tighten up our muscles and get ready for a long march?” asks the “Ultimate ARMY Streaming Guide” posted to one fan site for BTS, whose faithful call themselves Army. Tips include to avoid bulk buying (“there is usually a purchase limit or it will count as one purchase only”); to compile playlists instead of looping tracks (“it will appear as a bot”); and to not put the songs on mute (“Don’t worry, you can plug in earphones if you’re planning to stream the whole day!”).The guide was written by a BTS fan named Avi, who is 26 and lives in Jakarta, Indonesia. She went “down the rabbit hole” after seeing the boy band perform at the American Music Awards in 2017, she said, and found community in the fandom. In addition to gathering online, Avi and her fellow BTS fans like to get together in person to celebrate the members’ birthdays from afar, buying them a cake, posing for pictures and making charitable donations in their name.“I’ve never seen anyone insincere when it comes to BTS,” Avi said in an interview. “No one is forcing us to do anything. It feels like we’re promoting BTS, but we are also promoting our own voices, our own struggles, our own hope for a better world.”By running up the group’s numbers, landing them atop various charts and trending-topic lists, the fans hope to inspire curiosity in others to check out BTS and take in the group’s messages of self-love. “I think of it as my own voice,” Avi said. “What I do for BTS, it’s not for them. I’m doing it with them.”But some see these relationships between fans and idols as parasocial ones — largely one-sided interactions with mass-media figures that masquerade as friendship — and worry about the long-term mental health effects of such devotion.Haaniyah Angus, a writer and former teenage stan who has written about her experiences in the subculture, noted that standom was “very heavily dependent on capitalism and buying” in a way that convinced consumers, on behalf of “really rich people,” that “their win is your win.”“For me and a lot of people I knew, a lot of it stemmed from us being very lonely, very depressed and anxious being like, ‘I’m going to forget what I’m going through at the moment and I’m going to focus on this celebrity,’” she said.This dynamic often served to stamp out dissent within the ranks, which was once seen as a crucial component of fandom.“I don’t think that toxic fandom is synonymous with stan culture,” said Booth, the fan studies researcher. “But I think one of the dangers of stan culture — that is, the danger of a group of fans who are so passionate about something that they’ll shut down negative comments — is that it can often shut down much-needed conversations where our media and celebrities let us down.”AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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    ‘Ariana Grande: Excuse Me, I Love You’ Review: It’s Mutual.

    #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }The Best of 2020Best ComedyBest TV ShowsBest BooksBest MoviesBest AlbumsAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyStreaming‘Ariana Grande: Excuse Me, I Love You’ Review: It’s Mutual.Sometimes it’s enough to adore a pop star from afar, even if you aren’t an Arianator.Ariana Grande in “Ariana Grande: Excuse Me, I Love You.”Credit…Alfredo Flores/NetflixDec. 21, 2020Ariana Grande: Excuse Me, I Love YouDirected by Story Syndicate, Paul DugdaleDocumentary, Music1h 37mFind TicketsWhen you purchase a ticket for an independently reviewed film through our site, we earn an affiliate commission.So is there actual footage of Ariana Grande cleaning up dog poop? And why was Kristin Chenoweth on FaceTime with Grande as she was picking it up? You might be asking yourself the same dumb questions after watching the new music documentary “Excuse Me, I Love You,” with the pony-tailed pop star at its performance-driven center.Though the majority of the movie focuses on this singer’s powerhouse vocals during her 2019 Sweetener World Tour, there are glimpses into Grande’s offstage life that are a refreshing contrast to her glam persona.So yes, Grande, not a strict follower of the pop stardom rule book, goes into elaborate detail about the insane 15-minute fiasco that involves her dog Myron’s case of diarrhea, her pet pig using her bed as a toilet, Myron eating what the pig deposited and Grande running out of the room, screaming and crying. That is the last scene you might expect her to revisit amid this slick showcase of sensuality and eroticism. But as weird as it may sound, hearing the tale from Grande made me fonder of her. She can sing and tell a good poop story.[embedded content]For the film, the veteran music documentary director Paul Dugdale captures Grande in a variety of other off-the-cuff moments that give you the impression that this Grammy winner could be your bestie — that is, if your bestie has also harmonized whistle tones with Mariah Carey.Grande serves charming, relatable political realness, dramatizing a fainting fall when she hears the news that the House voted to impeach President Trump. And when Grande learns that Carey, her idol, has asked her to record a solo clip of “All I Want for Christmas Is You” along with other artists, she gets misty-eyed. These light touches mixed in with bops like “Thank U, Next” and “7 Rings,” lend — if only slightly — an endearing, multidimensional human shape to the performer seen strutting the catwalk in thigh-high boots before thousands of adoring fans.Only 2020 could make a straightforward, paint-by-numbers concert doc like this one, which is clearly intended for superfans, seem this nourishing (even for non-Arianators like myself). Even the most casual of fans might find themselves saying, simply, thank you.Ariana Grande: Excuse Me, I Love YouNot rated. Running time: 1 hour 37 minutes. Watch on Netflix.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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    Ariana Grande Engagement Announcement: What It Means

    AdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyA Close Reading of Ariana Grande’s Engagement AnnouncementIn an extremely 2020 move, Ms. Grande got quarantine-engaged and announced it in an Instagram photo dump.Ariana Grande at the 62nd annual Grammy Awards in January.Credit…Jordan Strauss/Invision, via Associated PressDec. 21, 2020On Sunday, when Ariana Grande announced her engagement on Instagram, the congratulatory likes and comments flowed in immediately. So did the questions: about her fiancé (a luxury real estate agent named Dalton Gomez), the duration of their relationship (roughly a year, though quarantine timelines should probably be weighted to account for constant contact), the composition of her photography (was she in a car?) and, of course, the ring.Celebrity engagements have driven entertainment news cycles for decades, but Ms. Grande’s announcement — shared on the eve of her new Netflix special and just over two years after her split from the comedian Pete Davidson — has drawn outsize interest and become one of Instagram’s most-liked posts of all time.For all those reasons and more, we thought it was worth a closer look.This Was a Year of Quarantine EngagementsDemi Lovato and Max Ehrich did it. Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz did it. Your cousin did it, and so did your old college roommate (probably).Now, Ariana Grande has joined a long line of celebrities and mere mortals who said yes to their quarantine sweeties this year, irrespective of traditional timelines.According to People Magazine, Ms. Grande and Dalton Gomez, who works in residential real estate in Los Angeles, started dating in January. In May, he appeared in the music video for Ms. Grande’s song with Justin Bieber, “Stuck With U.” Seven months later, the two are engaged.Various data points suggest that these days, monogamy is in. Major jewelry retailers like Kay, Zales, Peoples and James Allen are reporting more sales this summer and fall compared to last year, according to The Washington Post. The trend makes sense: Dating around doesn’t look as exciting in a time when every in-person encounter carries the risk of a life-threatening virus, and when flowers and chocolates have been replaced by an N95 mask and proof of your latest Covid-19 test.“A bunch of people have started relationships, probably because people are lonely, they’re spending more time getting to know someone, and people are being less promiscuous,” said Lauren Bille, the chief executive of Allbodies, a health education platform.For some couples, quarantining together seems like the ultimate test: If they can make it through the manic boredom, perpetual anxiety and unceasing tragedy of the pandemic together, they can make it through anything. Right?Let’s check back in 2022. — VALERIYA SAFRONOVAA Photo Dump Was the Only Way to GoBack in 2017, when people still made their relationships “Instagram official,” the default engagement announcement format was a ring selfie: a zoomed-in shot of a perfectly manicured hand (usually a woman’s), held up against a clean background. The ring was always the focal point.Since then, Instagram has evolved from a feed of staged images to something much messier, devoid of a dominant aesthetic or careful curation. In 2020, a year so hellish that the old rules of Instagram could no longer apply, a new format surged in popularity: the photo dump.It’s how Ariana Grande announced her engagement and also how most internet-savvy celebrities have been posting for months now. Kylie Jenner rarely shares a solo shot to her feed anymore, but rather carousels of outtakes and moments from her life. Billie Eilish often does the same, unloading a mix of iPhone photos and blurry videos to create mini Instagram albums. Throughout the pandemic, the playwright Jeremy O. Harris has been posting “coronavirus mixtapes,” Instagram gallery mash-ups of memes, TikTok videos and photos from his daily life.This is the way we post now. Gen Z has led the charge, embracing this format first and most frequently. Maybe it’s because they never had the chance to upload 40 hazy party pics to a Facebook album in the aughts, or perhaps they’re seeking to memorialize life moments in a way only a photo gallery can. Or maybe everyone has collectively given up. Who has the time or energy to spend finding and editing that One Perfect Shot? It’s much easier to post by the handful.Ms. Grande’s engagement photo dump contains multitudes; there’s a mirror selfie, multiple couple’s photos and a slightly off-center shot of her ring. That’s the beauty of this format: There’s always more content. — TAYLOR LORENZObviously We Have to Talk About the RingWhen Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson got engaged in 2018, a month after their whirlwind courtship began, the singer started sporting a brilliant, pear-shaped ring rumored to be worth $100,000. It was exactly the sort of ring you’d expect a celebrity to wear: big and bathed in diamonds.Her ring from Dalton Gomez is a bit more unique: asymmetrical, with a pearl and an oval diamond set on an east-west axis. According to Sheryl Jones, a fine jeweler in New York City’s Diamond District, this design, particularly the pairing of two different gems, is “very unusual.”“I would describe it as definitely a fresh and nontraditional approach to an engagement ring,” Ms. Jones said, adding that “ovals are really, really popular right now.”Over the last several years, she said, people have grown increasingly interested in “fancy shapes”: ovals, pears, radiant-cut stones — really anything besides a traditional round diamond. “I think for women who want more of an engagement ring that is nontraditional or has a little more personality and style, they’re attracted to those kinds of cuts,” Ms. Jones said.Trends also show that surprising gemstone colors, like a green or gray sapphire, have become all the rage too. “People are finding ways to express themselves in engagement rings now and there is no standard way of approaching it,” Ms. Jones said.There was a time when getting dressed for the evening to go to dinner in a formal dress and statement jewels was the only time a luxury ring would be worn. But now, a more modern lifestyle demands a ring that is comfortable and wearable all the time, Ms. Jones said. “It’s got to be able to bridge that casual to fancy.”“I think that this approach just makes it more a part of her lifestyle,” Ms. Jones said. “Because when you look at a more traditional wedding ring, if your lifestyle is more fun and unconventional, you want a ring that reflects that. And I think that that’s what women are asking for now.” — EVAN NICOLE BROWNAriana Grande’s engagement ring, as shared on Instagram.The Pearl, Specifically, Is a ChoiceIt is natural for a person to look at a clamped closed mollusk and think, “Whatever you’re doing in there, I’ve got to have it.” The urge to open the entirely shut is how humans ended up with fried eggs, juicy melon flesh, honey, geodes and frightening individual experiences at haunted amusement parks.But once a man or woman has loosed their prize — which is, if they are lucky, a granular irritant a mollusk has coated in several layers of secretions in order to protect itself — should it be set into a ring intended for everyday wear? Perhaps not.“In the case of pearl rings, please be aware that these are only to be worn for dress and are not intended for everyday wear,” advises the website of Mikimoto, the famed Japanese pearl jeweler credited with inventing cultured pearls in 1893. In contrast to hardy diamonds, pearls are easily scratched and can deteriorate from contact with perfume, cosmetics, hair spray, lotion, detergent, lemon juice, vinegar and any number of other household products. (Also: sweat.)Even jewelry security boxes are chambers of horrors for pearls, where they may scrape up against other items or, if left alone in the receptacle for extended periods, gradually dehydrate.On top of all this, Ariana Grande’s pearl could be extra fragile due to age: There is some evidence to suggest that the pearl in her ring might have been repurposed from another ring set with a pearl originally taken from her late grandfather’s tie pin. — CAITY WEAVERAnd Now, Some OptimismIt’s easy to be cynical about celebrity engagements — or any engagement, really. Couples blow thousands (if not millions) of dollars on diamond rings, hundreds more on professional photography and celebrations, all for a commitment that may only last a few years, months, weeks or days.Much harder is the work of being happy for other people. While celebrities, including multiple Kardashians and Diane Keaton, have commented with enthusiastic excitement and love for Ariana Grande and Dalton Gomez, many more watching from home have speculated about the timing of the announcement (was it publicity for her concert film?) and the likelihood that the couple will ever wed. The usual stuff, but magnified to scale with her mega-stardom.Yes, Ms. Grande is a wildly successful pop artist with an estimated net worth exceeding $100 million. She is also a 27-year-old woman who has endured enough traumatic experiences to fill several lifetimes: a suicide bombing that killed more than 20 people at one of her concerts; the public unraveling of her first almost-marriage; the untimely death of a former partner; the suggestion, from an army of fans, that she was to blame for her ex’s tragic undoing.Wouldn’t it be nice if things just … worked out? I’m rooting for these two. — BONNIE WERTHEIMValeriya Safronova More

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    Ariana Grande and Dalton Gomez Are Engaged, Singer Says

    #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }The Best of 2020Best ComedyBest TV ShowsBest BooksBest MoviesBest AlbumsAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyAriana Grande Announces Engagement to Dalton GomezThe pop star shared the news of her engagement to the Los Angeles real estate agent on Instagram, writing, “forever n then some.”Ariana Grande at the 62nd Grammy Awards in January. She gained prominence as Cat Valentine on the Nickelodeon show “Victorious,” but her music career gave her international stardom.Credit…Etienne Laurent/EPA, via ShutterstockDec. 20, 2020The pop star Ariana Grande is engaged to the luxury real estate agent Dalton Gomez, she announced on Instagram on Sunday.Sharing photos of herself with Mr. Gomez (and a diamond and pearl ring), she captioned her post, “forever n then some.”Ms. Grande had hinted at her relationship with Mr. Gomez over the past year, tucking photos with him into stacks of images shared on Instagram.A music video for her collaboration with Justin Bieber on “Stuck With U,” a nod to quarantine, was the couple’s public debut in the spring, featuring a clip of Ms. Grande and Mr. Gomez dancing.Along with its “unapologetically and sometimes humorously libidinous lyrics,” Ms. Grande’s most recent album, “Positions,” which was released in the fall, has “occasional slips of vulnerability that reveal the giddiness and anxiety of new love,” The New York Times wrote in its review.Mr. Gomez, a real estate agent at the Aaron Kirman Group in Los Angeles, was born and raised in Southern California, according to his profile on the agency’s website. He has worked in luxury real estate for five years, overseeing sales of homes like Pierre Koenig’s Case Study No. 21 in Los Angeles, which served as the set of “Charmed.”Shortly after the release of Ms. Grande’s 2018 album, “Sweetener,” her ex-boyfriend, the rapper Mac Miller, died of an accidental overdose.He had collaborated with Ms. Grande on her hit song, “The Way,” in 2013.“I adored you from the day I met you when I was nineteen and I always will,” she said of Mr. Miller in a post on Instagram after his death.At the time of Mr. Miller’s death, she had been engaged to the comedian Pete Davidson for only a few months. Ms. Grande called off their engagement shortly thereafter.Mr. Davidson attributed their split to Mr. Miller’s death, telling the radio host Charlamagne Tha God in an interview that “I pretty much knew it was over after that.”In December 2018, Mr. Davidson shared a troubling post on Instagram: “I really don’t want to be on this earth anymore,” he wrote.A police officer checked on him at the Manhattan studios of “Saturday Night Live,” where he is a cast member, and NBC contacted the Police Department to say that he was fine, the police said at the time.In the deleted post, he said: “I’m doing my best to stay here for you but I actually don’t know how much longer I can last. All I’ve ever tried to do was help people. Just remember I told you so.”Ms. Grande, 27, gained prominence as Cat Valentine on the Nickelodeon show “Victorious,” which aired from 2010 to 13, but it was her music career that gave her international stardom. Her song “Positions” peaked at No. 1 on the Billboard Global 200.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More

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    Ariana Grande Announces Engagement to Dalton Gomez

    #masthead-section-label, #masthead-bar-one { display: none }The Best of 2020Best ComedyBest TV ShowsBest BooksBest MoviesBest AlbumsAdvertisementContinue reading the main storySupported byContinue reading the main storyAriana Grande Announces Engagement to Dalton GomezThe pop star shared the news of her engagement to the Los Angeles real estate agent on Instagram, writing, “forever n then some.”Ariana Grande at the 62nd Grammy Awards in January. She gained prominence as Cat Valentine on the Nickelodeon show “Victorious,” but her music career gave her international stardom.Credit…Etienne Laurent/EPA, via ShutterstockDec. 20, 2020, 6:54 p.m. ETThe pop star Ariana Grande is engaged to the luxury real estate agent Dalton Gomez, she announced on Instagram on Sunday.Sharing photos of herself with Mr. Gomez (and a diamond and pearl ring), she captioned her post, “forever n then some.”Ms. Grande had hinted at her relationship with Mr. Gomez over the past year, tucking photos with him into stacks of images shared on Instagram.A music video for her collaboration with Justin Bieber on “Stuck With U,” a nod to quarantine, was the couple’s public debut in the spring, featuring a clip of Ms. Grande and Mr. Gomez dancing.Along with its “unapologetically and sometimes humorously libidinous lyrics,” Ms. Grande’s most recent album, “Positions,” which was released in the fall, has “occasional slips of vulnerability that reveal the giddiness and anxiety of new love,” The New York Times wrote in its review.Mr. Gomez, a real estate agent at the Aaron Kirman Group in Los Angeles, was born and raised in Southern California, according to his profile on the agency’s website. He has worked in luxury real estate for five years, overseeing sales of homes like Pierre Koenig’s Case Study No. 21 in Los Angeles, which served as the set of “Charmed.”Shortly after the release of Ms. Grande’s 2018 album, “Sweetener,” her ex-boyfriend, the rapper Mac Miller, died of an accidental overdose.He had collaborated with Ms. Grande on her hit song, “The Way,” in 2013.“I adored you from the day I met you when I was nineteen and I always will,” she said of Mr. Miller in a post on Instagram after his death.At the time of Mr. Miller’s death, she had been engaged to the comedian Pete Davidson for only a few months. Ms. Grande called off their engagement shortly thereafter.Mr. Davidson attributed their split to Mr. Miller’s death, telling the radio host Charlamagne Tha God in an interview that “I pretty much knew it was over after that.”In December 2018, Mr. Davidson shared a troubling post on Instagram: “I really don’t want to be on this earth anymore,” he wrote. A police officer checked on him at the Manhattan studios of “Saturday Night Live,” where he is a cast member, and NBC contacted the Police Department to say that he was fine, the police said at the time.In the deleted post, he said: “I’m doing my best to stay here for you but I actually don’t know how much longer I can last. All I’ve ever tried to do was help people. Just remember I told you so.”Ms. Grande, 27, gained prominence as Cat Valentine on the Nickelodeon show “Victorious,” which aired from 2010 to 13, but it was her music career that gave her international stardom. Her song “Positions” peaked at No. 1 on the Billboard Global 200.AdvertisementContinue reading the main story More