Jimmy Kimmel Live (TV Program)

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      Jimmy Kimmel: America’s ‘Going Nuts’ Over a Murder Suspect’s Abs

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      Kimmel applauded people for “moving away from nonstop election coverage” to instead obsess over the looks of Luigi Mangione, who was charged with killing a C.E.O.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Time’s sexiest’On Monday, Luigi Mangione was arrested and charged with the murder of Brian Thompson, the chief executive of UnitedHealthcare.Late night hosts commented Tuesday about the attention over Mangione’s looks, with Jimmy Kimmel calling him “Time’s sexiest alleged murderer of the year” and “the hottest coldblooded killer in America.”“I’m not sure what this says about us, but ever since these photos of him came out from his holding cell, from his mug shot — someone found his abs somewhere online.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ryan Murphy right now is flying to Netflix headquarters in a jetpack.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So many women and so many men are going nuts over how good-looking this killer is. And there’s a huge wave of horny washing over us right now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“My question is, is he really even that hot? I mean, take away the hair, and the abs, the face, the arms, that easy smile, the way his eyes light up — wait, I’m sorry, what were we talking about? Syria? What are we talking about? Oh, yeah, we’re talking about the guy with the incredible abs.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“But I have to say, it does feel kind of good — we’re moving away from nonstop election coverage and back to drooling over a coldblooded murderer’s eyebrows and abs. I think that might be progress. Maybe not, I don’t know.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (McFingered Edition)“For the last few days, there’s been a killer on the loose in America. Well, there’s actually tons of killers on the loose in America, but this one killed someone important, so they were really looking for him.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“The assassin’s name is Luigi Mangione? Did they find him hiding in a big pipe?” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Mangione has become something of an internet celebrity, and people are not thrilled with the Altoona McDonald’s employees who McFingered him. Several nasty Google reviews have been left of the Altoona location, including ‘They got rats behind the counter. Do not recommend,’ while many others simply left one-star reviews, citing bad service and so-called ‘snitches.’ You know what they say: Snitches get Filet-O-Fishes.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s surprising that he comes from such a privileged background. He’s not really the kind of guy you expect to become a murderer. I mean, I expect him to crash the housing market, but not kill a guy.” — MICHAEL KOSTAWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Chides Trump for Using Dr. Biden Photo to Hawk Cologne

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      The president-elect used a photo of Jill Biden smiling at him to promote his fragrances. Jimmy Kimmel thinks that’s because Melania has never smiled at him on camera.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Smell of ExcessAfter the first lady, Jill Biden, was photographed smiling at Donald Trump during the Notre-Dame Cathedral’s reopening ceremony on Saturday, the president-elect used the image to advertise his new fragrances on social media. (“A fragrance your enemies can’t resist!”)“He had to use that picture because he doesn’t have a picture of his own wife smiling at him,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday.“Even after all these years, Trump still can’t tell when a woman is faking it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was a rare moment of conciliation, one that would have given this country hope had it not immediately been undermined by the returning president releasing an actual cologne ad belittling and sexualizing said moment.” — JON STEWART“You won! You don’t have to push merch anymore. I find it hard to believe I’m saying this, but it’s beneath you.” — JON STEWART“Although, if you do zoom in on Jill Biden, you see she may just be holding her breath there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“In response, Dr. Biden used the photo to sell her new line of pepper spray.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s perfect if you want to smell like a Big Mac that’s been sitting in a tanning bed and then thrown into the back of a Cybertruck.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Big Score Edition)“The New York Mets last night signed outfielder Juan Soto to a $765 million deal, stealing him from their hated crosstown rivals, the Yankees. And as a Mets fan, I have to say I am very excited to see how terribly this will inevitably go for us.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The New York Mets have reportedly signed former Yankees star Juan Soto to a 15-year, $765 million contract. And if you’re wondering how they can afford that, Mr. Met started an OnlyFans.” — SETH MEYERS“$765 million — not really the announcement you want to make to friends and family right before Christmas.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert and Billy Crystal shared their favorite lines from “When Harry Met Sally” on Monday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe singer-songwriters Julien Baker and Torres will make their television debut as a country music duo on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutTaylor Swift at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey in May 2023. Jutharat Pinyodoonyachet for The New York TimesTaylor Swift’s “Eras” tour brought in $2 billion in gross ticket sales, double that of any other concert tour in history. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Says Pete Hegseth Cameos Could Be a Thing This Christmas

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      The late-night host wondered if the embattled pick for secretary of defense could end up appearing on the online platform in time for Christmas.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Bad BehaviorPresident-elect Trump’s pick for secretary of defense, Pete Hegseth, continues to face allegations of raucous behavior while working for Fox News.Jimmy Kimmel said that reports of excessive drinking by Hegseth and accusations of sexual misconduct have overshadowed that he is “not even remotely qualified to be secretary of defense — that, we’ve already forgotten about.”“Something tells me we might be able to get Pete Hegseth Cameo videos for Christmas this year.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The latest allegation is that at a 2016 ‘Fox & Friends’ Christmas party, Hegseth reportedly caused a disturbance, leading to a human resource department intervention. Ooh, human resource interventions are the worst: ‘Pete, when you drink, it makes me feel like the company is legally liable.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The H.R. talking-to clearly didn’t work, because soon after, Hegseth attended the wedding of a Fox News colleague, where he reportedly got so drunk that he struggled to stay upright in a men’s bathroom, and friends asked a producer who was there to get him a ride home. OK, finally! ‘Someone at Fox News who’s responsible,’ is what I would say if that sentence did not end with ‘So he could make it to the set by 6 a.m.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Biden’s Last Stand Edition)“Earlier tonight, they had the national Christmas tree lighting at the White House. Yeah. It was a fun night. When President Biden came out, all the kids were like, ‘Look, the Ghost of Christmas Past!’” — JIMMY FALLON“Not only did he light the tree this year, he gave it a pre-emptive pardon just in case it falls over on someone or gets all coked up and throws its gun in the dumpster. Who knows?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“They kept referring to it as ‘Biden’s final tree-lighting ceremony,’ which, when you’re his age, is probably not what you want to hear.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Meanwhile, during tonight’s ceremony, the winds were over 40 miles an hour. Yeah. Biden’s skin looked like when a bulldog sticks his head out of the car window.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingRonny Chieng caught up with Charles Yu, the creator and executive producer of Hulu’s “Interior Chinatown,” on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutAmy Adams channels her feral side in “Nightbitch,” directed by Marielle Heller.Searchlight PicturesAmy Adams stars as a mother who begins to believe she’s a dog in “Nightbitch,” Marielle Heller’s film adaptation of the Rachel Yoder novel. More

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      Late Night Weighs In on Pete Hegseth’s ‘Teetering’ Nomination Prospects

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      Hosts riff on Trump’s possible swap of his secretary of defense nominee amid excessive-drinking claims against Hegseth.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Sobering News’President-elect Donald Trump is said to be reconsidering his choice of Pete Hegseth for defense secretary after allegations emerged of the former Fox News host drinking excessively while on the job.On Wednesday’s “Daily Show,” Ronny Chieng wondered who could have seen this coming — “other than Matt Gaetz, Mike Pence, Rudy Giuliani, Michael Cohen and everyone else Trump has ever come into contact with?”“Hey, anyone heard from Herman Cain lately? He’s dead — Google it.” — RONNY CHIENG“OK, before you judge — yes, his show starts at six in the morning, but he was still drinking from the night before, OK? So it’s not sad, it’s awesome.” — RONNY CHIENG“I mean, if Hegseth doesn’t get confirmed, this is really going to make people question Trump’s strategy of giving the most unemployable people on earth the hardest jobs that have ever existed.” — RONNY CHIENGThe Punchiest Punchlines (Plan D Edition)“Apparently, the reports of the drinky-drink are making Trump doing the thinky-think, because word is Trump’s support for Hegseth is teetering, much like Pete Hegseth at a staff meeting.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Instead, Trump is mulling replacing Hegseth with Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. While DeSantis actually has some defense qualifications, the replacement isn’t a done deal, because some in Trump’s orbit strongly dislike Ron DeSantis. Wow, that is a weird way to find out I am in Trump’s orbit.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And if you’re wondering what qualifications Ron DeSantis has to run the Pentagon, you are correct to wonder that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But at least Ron DeSantis is the governor of a state, and he does have military experience. He served in the navy as a JAG officer — he’s a real jag officer, this guy.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe actress Isabella Rossellini discussed the revival of her film “Death Becomes Her” as a Broadway musical while on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe “Saturday Night Live” alumna Kate McKinnon will appear on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutGetting notes from the fellow actor Jesse Eisenberg, his castmate and director, threw Kieran Culkin off at first: “Literally, my chest would pop out, and I’d clench my fist and be in a defensive stance.”Sam Hellmann for The New York TimesKieran Culkin is an awards season front-runner for his role in “A Real Pain,” but his favorite part to play is father to his two children. More

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      Late Night Razzes Trump’s Upcoming Visit to Notre-Dame

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      “If all goes according to plan, he would like to buy it and turn it into a casino,” Jimmy Kimmel said of the Paris cathedral on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Prayers Up for ParisPresident-elect Donald Trump will fly to France this weekend to attend the reopening of the historic Notre-Dame Cathedral in Paris, five years after it was gutted by a fire.“If all goes according to plan, he would like to buy it and turn it into a casino,” Jimmy Kimmel joked on Tuesday.“When Notre-Dame was on fire five years ago, if you remember, Trump was very helpful. He tweeted, ‘So horrible to watch the massive fire at Notre-Dame Cathedral in Paris. Perhaps flying water tankers could be used to put it out?’ Because before then, nobody had thought of using water to put out a fire. That’s why he’s a genius.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump plans to meet with French President Macron, who is one of the first world leaders smart enough to congratulate him on his victory last month. He wrote: ‘Ready to work together as we did for four years. With your convictions and mine.’ That’s right — between the two of them, they’ve got 34 convictions.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And it’ll be interesting to see Trump and Macron interact. Trump is said to be jealous of the French president because he’s able to button his suit jacket without adding butter to his chest.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But it’s expected to be a nice, very pleasant trip for the president-elect to enjoy Paris before he takes office, and, of course, for his wife Melania to enjoy wherever it is she will be this weekend.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (On Fire Edition)“I read that President-elect Trump is going to Paris this weekend to attend the reopening of the Notre-Dame Cathedral after it was destroyed in a fire back in 2019. Yep, Trump’s going to take one step inside the church, and it’s going to burst right back into flames.” — JIMMY FALLON“The opening ceremonies are this Sunday, and the restored cathedral will be honored with massive pyrotechnics, a fire-eater and an exhibit of Europe’s most oily rags.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingOn “The Tonight Show” the comedian Fortune Feimster shared the story of successfully introducing her wife to Madonna after 10 years of trying.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightBest buddies Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen will stop by Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutJulia Fox takes pride in being one of New York’s most out-there artists.Megan LovalloActress, writer and all-around It Girl Julia Fox shared her tips for being a freak in T Magazine’s Freak City issue. More

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      Jon Stewart Thinks Biden Could Have Timed That Pardon Better

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      “Normally, you drop a controversial pardon like the way you buy porn at a gas station: in a flurry of other distracting purchases,” the “Late Night” host said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Hypocrisy Isn’t Illegal’As Thanksgiving weekend drew to a close, President Biden issued a full and unconditional pardon for his son Hunter, despite having repeatedly pledged not to do so. It was the talk of late night on Monday.On “The Daily Show,” Jon Stewart questioned the president’s timing.“Normally, you drop a controversial pardon like the way you buy porn at a gas station: in a flurry of other distracting purchases.” — JON STEWART“Thanksgiving! I knew it! Perhaps I can explain the way this pardon went down in my new one-man show, ‘Can You Get Hunter to Stop Looking at Me Like That?’” — JON STEWART“He’s an 82-year-old man — he doesn’t want to spend the rest of his life visiting his son in prison.” — JON STEWART“Hypocrisy isn’t illegal, nor is it particularly unusual in politics. It’s not like he’s ever going to run again, so why not take care of your kid, even if you said you weren’t going to? I respect it. I don’t have a problem with it. The problem is, the rest of the Democrats made Biden’s pledge to not pardon Hunter the foundation of their defense of America.” — JON STEWARTThe Punchiest Punchlines (World’s Greatest Dad Edition)“Yeah, it was a big shopping weekend, and millions of people got great deals, but nobody got a better deal than Hunter Biden.” — JIMMY FALLON“Christmas came early for this guy.” — TYRUS, guest host of “Gutfeld!”“The Biden presidency has now entered the ‘Grandpa doesn’t give a damn about what you think’ phase.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And, yes, Joe Biden did say he wasn’t going to pardon Hunter. But, to be fair, there’s a very good chance he doesn’t remember saying that.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Doubts Trump’s Grasp of Economics

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      Kimmel called the president-elect’s plan to hit Mexico, Canada and China with sweeping tariffs “the dumbest thing he’s come up with since Don Jr.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Just Tariff-icPresident-elect Donald J. Trump said he would impose sweeping tariffs on all goods from Canada, Mexico and China on his first day in office.As Jimmy Kimmel noted, economists say that would lead to higher prices. “Almost everyone who knows anything about economics believes these tariffs to be a terrible idea,” Kimmel said.“Some say this is the dumbest thing he’s come up with since Don Jr.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Whoever would have guessed that the mail-order steak salesman who declared bankruptcy six times would be so bad with money?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If you want to purchase a tie from the Donald J. Trump collection, you’d better get it immediately, or it’s going to cost an extra 10 percent.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Apparently, Trump’s tariffs on Mexico will cause the price of Modelo and Corona beer to go up. Every MAGA supporter heard and was like, ‘Well, guess it’s time to forgive Bud Light.’” — JIMMY FALLON“So by next year, if you want extra guacamole, it’ll be cheaper to go get it.” — SETH MEYERS“And poor Canada is like, ‘What did we do? I mean, be honest: Is this because of Drake?’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Thanksgiving Edition)“Over the next 48 hours, millions of Americans will travel back to their family homes to be reminded once again of why they left in the first place.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I read that the most popular time to eat Thanksgiving dinner is between 2 and 3 p.m. It’s strange. It’s like for one day we all become President Biden.” — JIMMY FALLON“Serving dinner at 2 p.m. is a polite way of telling your guests, ‘We’d love to get you out of here as soon as possible.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Luckily, there’s no turkey shortage this year, though. Yeah. I remember the year Biden had to walk up to the turkeys he’d just pardoned and said, ‘Fellas, I’ve got some bad news.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingGwen Stefani joined Jimmy Fallon and the Roots for a spirited rendition of her hit “Hollaback Girl,” played on classroom instruments.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJennifer Hudson will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutMattel’s version of Glinda from “Wicked.”MattelThe “Wicked” merchandising juggernaut includes Barbies, Crocs and hair dryers. More

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      Late Night Makes Its Last Jokes About Biden Pardoning Turkeys

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      Although Thanksgiving was still three days away, “the turkeys looked at Biden and said, ‘We better get this done,’” Jimmy Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Lucky BirdsPresident Biden pardoned his last two Thanksgiving turkeys on Monday.Although the holiday was still three days away, “the turkeys looked at Biden and said, ‘We better get this done,’” Jimmy Fallon said.“Today on the South Lawn of the White House, President Biden pardoned two turkeys from Minnesota named Peach and Blossom. Those aren’t turkey names. Peach and Blossom sound like the special guests at a bachelor party.” — JIMMY FALLON“President Biden today presided over the annual White House turkey pardon. Well, he didn’t exactly pardon them, he just turned the investigation over to Merrick Garland, and then it just kind of petered out.” — SETH MEYERS“It’s kind of miraculous that these turkeys were able to get pardons without Ryan Murphy even doing a show about them on Netflix.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, President Biden presided over the annual White House turkey pardon and granted clemency to Peach, Blossom and, before anyone noticed, Hunter.” — SETH MEYERS“Yep, Biden promised that the turkeys would not get killed this November. Democrats were like, ‘Hey, that’s what you said to us.’” — JIMMY FALLON“I hope everyone enjoyed the pardoning, because next year, under Trump, those turkeys will be Matt Gaetz and Rudy Giuliani.” — JIMMY FALLONBah, HumbugOn his last episode of “Real Time” for the year, Bill Maher argued that Americans should forget politics and enjoy Christmas.“Enough! It’s [expletive] Christmas, and you will act like it,” Maher said. “’Tis the season, and all that.”We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More