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      James Corden Addresses His Restaurant Ban

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      The “Late Late Show” host said he shouldn’t have been rude to a server at Balthazar in New York. “I hope I’m allowed in again one day,” he said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Eating His WordsLast week, the owner of the New York restaurant Balthazar wrote on Instagram that James Corden had been banned after behaving rudely to a server. The post went viral, with many news outlets reporting on Corden’s alleged bad behavior.On Monday night’s “Late Late Show,” Corden said that he’d been off social media while the show was on hiatus for the last week.“Have I missed anything? Did I miss any news?” Corden joked.“Like whenever these sorts of moments come my way, I like to adopt quite a British attitude — sort of keep calm and carry on. Things are going to get written about me, never complain, never explain. It’s very much my motto. But as my dad pointed out to me on Saturday, he said, ‘Son, well, you did complain, so you might need to explain.’” — JAMES CORDEN“So when everybody’s meals came, my wife was given the food that she was allergic to. No, she hadn’t taken a bite, we sent it back, all was good. As her meal came wrong to the table the third time, in the heat of the moment, I made — I made a sarcastic, rude comment, right? About cooking it myself, and it is a comment I deeply regret, right. I understand the difficulties of being a server. I worked shifts at restaurants for years. I have — I have such respect and I value anyone that does such a job, and the team at that restaurant are so great. That’s why I love it there.” — JAMES CORDEN“But here is the truth of it, right, because I didn’t — because I didn’t shout or scream, like I didn’t get up out of my seat. I didn’t call anyone names or use derogatory language. I have been walking around thinking that I hadn’t done anything wrong, right? But the truth is like I have — I made a rude comment and it was wrong, and it was an unnecessary comment. It was ungracious to the server.” — JAMES CORDEN“I understand everybody getting upset and I accept — I accept everybody’s opinion. I also hate, as I said to the owner that day, that I’ve ever upset anybody ever — it was never my intention. It just wasn’t. And I love that restaurant. I love the staff there. I hope I’m allowed in again one day, so when I’m back in New York I can go there, and apologize in person, which is something I will absolutely do.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Big Fans Edition)“The Astros punched their ticket to the Series yesterday by sweeping the Yankees, but New Yorkers took their frustrations out on one Astros fan in particular: Senator Ted Cruz, who was in the city for the game. Man, New York does have a rat problem.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You know, you would think Ted Cruz would be unwelcome in a place like the Bronx — and if you did think that, you would be absolutely correct!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, there were a lot of boos, and a lot of extended middle fingers — which at this point, people, why does anyone bother? Ted Cruz sees those so often, he may not even be offended. He might just think that’s how people wave now.” — TREVOR NOAH“So, even though they lost the game, I think New York won the battle last night.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe standup comic Ariel Elias made her late-night debut on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” after going viral for how she handled a heckler during a recent set.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightSigourney Weaver will sit down with Jimmy Fallon on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutBy the time he was 49, Matthew Perry writes in his new book, he had spent more than half of his life in treatment centers or sober living facilities.Michelle Groskopf for The New York TimesMatthew Perry’s new memoir “Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing” addresses his struggles with success and sobriety. More

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      Trevor Noah Is Inspired by Trump’s Camera Work

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      Noah joked on Thursday that Trump gets away with so much criminal activity, “it just shows us we could do crime, too.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not So Smooth CriminalAn aide for former President Donald Trump was caught on camera moving boxes out of a storage room at Mar-a-Lago both before and after the Justice Department issued a subpoena demanding the return of all classified documents he’d removed from the White House.Trevor Noah called Trump “a legend.”“Who else gets caught committing crimes with their own security cameras?” Noah said on Thursday. “Who are you? How are you real?”“There’s something inspiring about it, too, when you think about it. It’s actually inspiring. Because Trump is so bad at crime, but he gets away with so much of it, it just shows us we could do crime, too. He’s like the drunk couple at karaoke; hearing them screech through ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ gives you the confidence to try ‘Kiss From a Rose.’” — TREVOR NOAH“Man, he’s a bad criminal. You’re supposed to get rid of the evidence. Trump is the first criminal to plant the evidence on himself.” — SETH MEYERS“I have to say, all this evidence, it’s crazy the only Trump being held in prison right now is Melania.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Remember how he was ranting and raving about the agents searching Barron’s bedroom and going through Melania’s closet? That’s because he put the documents there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He’s such a bad criminal. If Donald Trump wasn’t born rich, he’d be one of those bank robbers who passes the teller a note with his name signed at the bottom.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Another Day, Another Subpoena Edition)“The House Jan. 6 committee voted unanimously today to subpoena former President Trump. I would say this is big news, but it’s really more like putting one more parking ticket on that van that’s been on your block for a year. That ticket ain’t gettin’ paid.” — SETH MEYERS“And to make sure the former president reads the subpoena, it’s being printed on the wrapper of a Gordita Supreme.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Watching him testify before Congress would be insane. He’d go on all sorts of insane rants and attack people. It would be like casting an actual lion in ‘The Lion King.’” — SETH MEYERS“But I feel like he will be a little conflicted. Because on the one hand, yes, he thinks this is a crooked witch hunt that is out to get him, but on the other hand, the ratings.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingAndrew Garfield, George Clooney, Salma Hayek, Halle Berry and Larry David are just a few celebrities who participated in the latest edition of Mean Tweets on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutTár in charge: Cate Blanchett as the conductor Lydia Tár in Todd Field’s movie.Focus FeaturesCate Blanchett stars as a powerful conductor who behaves as badly as any male maestro in the new film “Tár.” More

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      Late Night Confirms Alex Jones Is a Loser

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      Stephen Colbert was grateful that “by the grace of God, sometimes bad things happen to Alex Jones” on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Biggest LoserA jury in Connecticut ordered Alex Jones to pay nearly $1 billion in damages to families of eight Sandy Hook victims and one F.B.I. agent on Wednesday.Stephen Colbert couldn’t contain his glee on Wednesday night’s “Late Show.”“And tonight I come to you with a spring in my step, a song in my heart, emotionally and spiritually refreshed. Because, you know how as humans, we have to accept the fact that sometimes bad things happen to good people? Well, by the grace of God, sometimes bad things happen to Alex Jones.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s a lot of money! You heard that right — billion with a capital ‘Byeee.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I guess the good guys just won the Infowars, is what happened there.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Walker on Eggshells Edition)“The latest on Herschel is that abortion that the mother of one of his sons said he paid for, she said she had to badger him to even get the money. She said she told him, ‘Listen, both of us did this. We both know how babies are made,’ which I’m not so sure Herschel does. Because I’m not so sure Herschel knows how bread is made.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Maybe Herschel doesn’t even know what ‘pro life’ means. Maybe he was like, ‘I was a pro football player — this is my life. Pro life!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Aah, so he’s cool with abortion as long as it doesn’t cost him. So he’s socially liberal, fiscally conservative, complete a-hole.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The election in Georgia is now less than a month away. Walker doesn’t intend to pull out. Pulling out isn’t his thing.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingCamila Cabello and Jimmy Fallon guessed song titles using only emojis for clues on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightTrevor Noah will surely talk about signing off from “The Daily Show” during his Thursday appearance on “The Tonight Show.”Also, Check This Out“All I’m interested in is freedom as a performer, and I don’t get that opportunity very often,” Jamie Lee Curtis said. “But the times I’ve been able to be free, I’m on fire.”Ryan Pfluger for The New York TimesJamie Lee Curtis’s 44-year career has afforded her the freedom to choose roles she’s happy to return to and new ones she can sink her teeth into. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Responds to Trump Lashing Out at Late Night

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      “I didn’t even see it, that’s how badly his social media platform is doing,” Kimmel said of Trump’s Truth Social rant about late night hosts.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Truth Is ElsewhereOn Tuesday, Jimmy Kimmel relayed that former President Donald Trump “took a break yesterday from disparaging the FBI to go after” Kimmel and his fellow late night talk show hosts on Truth Social.“I didn’t even see it, that’s how badly his social media platform is doing,” Kimmel said.“He wrote, ‘It was my great honor to have destroyed the ratings of late night comedy shows. There is nothing funny about the shows, the three hosts have very little talent, and when Jimmy Fallon apologized for having humanized Trump and his ratings soared, the radical left forced him to apologize. That was effectively the end of “The Tonight Show”’ — which I’m pretty sure is still on, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If anyone knows talent, it’s Donald Trump. He has walked backstage unannounced while young women were changing at some of the biggest talent competitions in the whole world.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And as far as ratings go, on behalf of my fellow late night talk show hosts — Jimmy, Stephen, Seth and I — we’ve been on for a total of 58 seasons and counting; your presidency got canceled after one.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Big 8-0 Edition)“Right after the midterms, there’s going to be another big day: It’s going to be Joe Biden’s birthday, when he’ll turn 80 years old, making him the first president to become an octogenarian while in office. The White House has a little bit of a problem here, because ‘oldest president ever’ is not the kind of record you want to be setting. It’s right up there with Grover Cleveland’s record for longest presidential fingernails.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“According to administration sources, you shouldn’t expect a blowout birthday bash, which is just what you’d say when you’re planning a surprise party! Oh, it’s going to be hot. There’s going to be a senior citizen throw-down! We’re talking Ensure stands, low-cut shawls, and shots, shots, shots: Covid, flu and shingles.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“White House officials are reportedly planning to downplay President Biden’s upcoming 80th birthday. Well, good luck with that, ’cause everything about Biden screams ‘birthday week.’ [imitating Biden] ‘Monday, I’m going bowling with my college buds; Tuesday, shots; Wednesday, Dave & Buster’s, then we’re all flying to Ibiza!’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingSeth Meyers sent up Fox News’s annual “Halloween fearmongering” by adding some newfound holiday threats to the list such as “Mike and Ike are trying to adopt.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJon Gray, Pierre Serrao, and Lester Walker of the Bronx-based collective Ghetto Gastro will appear on “The Daily Show” on Wednesday to talk about their new book, “Black Power Kitchen.”Also, Check This OutMelissa Etheridge, left, and Jill Sobule. In the 1990s, Etheridge made a splash with the hits “Come to My Window” and “I’m the Only One.” That same decade, Sobule released “I Kissed a Girl.”Luisa Opalesky for The New York TimesSinger-songwriters Melissa Etheridge and Jill Sobule are bringing their respective lives and musical careers to the stage in two new shows this week in New York. More

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      Seth Meyers Mocks Trump for Claiming George Bush Took Documents, Too

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      “And that is why to this day, if you’re in Texas, you can stop by H.W.’s Wok and Bowl and Top-Secret Document Warehouse,” Meyers joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘H.W.’s Wok and Bowl and Top-Secret Document Warehouse’Over the weekend, former President Donald Trump was in Nevada and Arizona, where he appeared at rallies in support of the Republican candidates Joe Lombardo, Kari Lake and Blake Masters.“And yet even though Trump is theoretically supposed to be there to campaign for other candidates, he always without exception makes it about himself,” Seth Meyers said. “He’s like the best man at a wedding who gives a drunken toast about how awesome he is.”While in Arizona, Trump claimed that other former presidents had removed classified documents from the White House, saying that the first President George Bush “took millions of documents to a former bowling alley and a former Chinese restaurant.”“He didn’t take the classified documents by accident — he took them on purpose because he thinks they belong to him, and when you’re proving a crime, criminal intent is key. I know that because I watch a show called ‘Law & Order: Criminal Intent’ — it’s right there in the title. There was never a ‘Law & Order’ spinoff called ‘Law & Order: Oops, My Bad.’” — SETH MEYERS“He just kept repeating it, and none of that excuses intentionally stealing and leaving classified documents laying around your golf course.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And that is why to this day, if you’re in Texas, you can stop by H.W.’s Wok and Bowl and Top-Secret Document Warehouse.” — SETH MEYERS“I demand an investigation because, is it just me, or does a combination bowling alley/Chinese restaurant sound incredible?” — JAMES CORDEN“I think I see what Trump is going for here, though, I do. Does he think that fortune cookies are secret documents?” — JAMES CORDEN“To be safe, Bush also hid some in a laser tag-slash-kebab house, and a trampoline park-slash-rib shack.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (First Edition)“Well guys, if you watch MSNBC, I want to say, ‘Happy Indigenous Peoples’ Day.’ And if you watch Fox News, I want to say, ‘Happy Columbus Day.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Not only is it Columbus Day, it’s also Indigenous Peoples’ Day, which is what it should be, probably. But we have to pick one or the other, right? This is like saying it’s Arbor Day and Chain Saw Day — it can’t be both.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, 530 years ago Columbus went on a trip and never made it to his intended destination. Today we call that flying Southwest Airlines.” — JIMMY FALLON“I think it’s probably the most controversial federal holiday of all of them, Columbus Day. Here’s how you know Columbus Day isn’t so hot anymore — there’s no Google doodle for it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The guy had one job — get to India. He missed it by 9,000 miles, but rather than admit he was wrong and not in India, he just started calling everyone Indians, which is so willfully ignorant. If he were alive today, he could probably run the Republican Party. If you’re being honest with yourself, Columbus is basically what would have happened if Donald Trump had been born in the 1400s and his dad gave him a boat, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingRachel Maddow talked about her new political history podcast, “Ultra,” on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightJamie Lee Curtis will talk about the latest installment of the “Halloween” franchise, “Halloween Ends,” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutWendell Pierce as Willy Loman in “Death of a Salesman” at the Hudson Theater.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesAn all-Black cast led by Wendell Pierce and Sharon D. Clarke stars in a powerful revival of “Death of a Salesman” at the Hudson Theater. More

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      Stephen Colbert Calls Biden’s Marijuana Pardon a ‘Green New Deal’

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      Colbert celebrated Biden’s announcement on Thursday that people convicted of marijuana possession under federal law would be pardoned.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Green New Deal’President Joe Biden pardoned people convicted of marijuana possession under federal law on Thursday.“Ladies and gentlemen, that is a hell of a green New Deal,” Stephen Colbert said.“He’s pardoning federal marijuana simple-possession offenses — all of them, from the dankest nugs to the harshest ditch weed. I’m talkin’ pot, grass, Mary Jane, reefer, the sweet sticky icky, ganja, choom-choom, lime pillows, sticks n’ stems, herb, chronic, Yemen, the devil’s lettuce, wacky tobacky, Acapulco gold, jazz cigarettes and the right honorable reverend Al Green.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Can you imagine how many people are incarcerated? Even worse, can you imagine getting pardoned for this after seeing how mainstream weed has become in America? I bet witches probably feel the same way, you know? It’s like, ‘Oh, so these hipster chicks can walk around Brooklyn with their candles and crystals, but when I did it in Salem, I got burned!’” — TREVOR NOAH“This will affect more than 6,000 Americans. Their criminal records will be cleared. He also encouraged governors to do the same on the state level, promised that his administration will review whether marijuana should still be classified as a schedule 1 drug and gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to a bag of Funyuns.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (High Point Edition)“The move stops short of full decriminalization, which will probably have to wait until we have a President Woodrow Harrelson or something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’m pretty sure Biden’s approval rating is about to get high for the first time.” — JIMMY FALLON“It is the most cannabis-friendly decision by a U.S. president yet, and I, for one, am just glad Willie Nelson is alive to see this happen.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, the president canceled student loan debt and now he’s pardoning people for weed. I think Biden’s going to be able to get into any frat he wants right now.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe rapper Jack Harlow co-hosted “The Tonight Show,” sharing in Thursday night’s edition of #Hashtags with Jimmy Fallon.Also, Check This OutOndi Timoner filmed her father’s last days. “I wanted to bottle him up,” she said. “I was terrified to not hear his voice again.”Brad Torchia for The New York Times“Last Flight Home,” by Ondi Timoner, is a documentary about her terminally ill father, who chose to end his life by medically assisted suicide. More

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      Late Night Rips Into Ron DeSantis for His ‘Go-Go’ Boots

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      “You’re not allowed to pass a ‘Don’t say gay’ bill then show up in public dressed like Nancy Sinatra,” Jimmy Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Getting the BootPresident Joe Biden met with Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis on Wednesday, setting aside political conversations to focus on the damage from Hurricane Ian.“Last time Joe Biden saw a storm this big, he had to help Noah collect all the pets and get them on the boat,” Jimmy Kimmel joked.“It’s like the special episode of a Disney sitcom where the school bully realizes he needs help with his math homework.” — JIMMY FALLON“Governor DeSantis has been touring damaged areas to let residents know they’re not forgotten — and one thing that few will ever forget is the white knee-high boots he was sporting.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Looks a little less ‘governor on the go’ and more ‘governor of the Go-Gos.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You’re not allowed to pass a ‘Don’t say gay’ bill then show up in public dressed like Nancy Sinatra.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But DeSantis was actually nice to Biden — he actually even offered him a free flight to Martha’s Vineyard.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Return on Investment Edition)“The home run ball itself is thought to be worth at least $2 million, and it was caught by an investment banker. Huge moment for the Yankees and an investment banker. What a night for the underdogs, you know?” — JIMMY FALLON“Well, there is a feel-good story for you. I’m glad things are finally working out for that executive at an investment firm. That’s what the game is all about. Good for you, buddy. Good for you.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingThe correspondent Ronny Chieng investigated the world of ultimate pillow fighting for Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightCate Blanchett will talk about her new film “Tár” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutBeavis and Butt-Head in the rebooted version of the series.Paramount+As a show that was smarter than its characters, “Beavis and Butt-Head” is too often overlooked and unappreciated. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: Superman Doesn’t Fit Trump

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      Kimmel joked that aides couldn’t find the right size of Superman ‘Underoos’ for the former president, who wanted to pull a Clark Kent after leaving Walter Reed in 2020.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Just Like Superman Would Never Do’Maggie Haberman’s new book, “Confidence Man,” reveals that in 2020, President Donald Trump wanted to unbutton his shirt to reveal a Superman T-shirt upon his emergence from Walter Reed Hospital after being treated for Covid.“Unfortunately, they couldn’t find Underoos in a size triple-XL,” Jimmy Kimmel joked.“According to Haberman, the plan was Trump would be wheeled out of Walter Reed hospital in a chair, and, once outdoors, he would dramatically stand up, open his button-down dress shirt to reveal a Superman logo. Listen, the only thing Trump does faster than a speeding bullet is have sex. We know that from Stormy Daniels.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“When he was preparing to leave Walter Reed Medical Center in 2020 after being treated for the coronavirus, then-President Trump reportedly told aides he wanted to exit the hospital in a wheelchair and then stand up to reveal a Superman shirt. You know, just like Superman would never do.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punch Lines (Go Fish Edition)“At a fishing tournament in Cleveland on Friday, a duo that had been declared winners were caught cheating. Of course, this was fishing, so after they were caught, they were released.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, it’s a lakeside fishing scandal so explosive, many are calling it ‘Watergate.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I haven’t seen white dudes this mad about fish since Disney announced the ‘Little Mermaid’ thing.” — TREVOR NOAH“You 100 percent could’ve told me that was footage from Jan. 6, and I would have believed you.” — JAMES CORDEN“Honestly, in a million years, I would never be able to guess that professional fishermen’s trash talk would include the phrase, ‘Where’s your crown now?’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingTrevor Noah looked into a new dating app for conservatives called The Right Stuff on Monday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe national touring company of “Oklahoma!” will perform on Tuesday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutJack Webb in “Dragnet” and Amanda Warren in “East New York.”From left: NBC, via Getty Images; Scott McDermott/CBSPolice procedurals date back to the dawn of television, but the genre has evolved over the years. More