Jimmy Kimmel Live (TV Program)

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      Jimmy Fallon Studies Trump’s Golfless Golf Course Gathering

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      “Yeah, Trump was smart. He was like, ‘How about nine of us meet on the green with no clubs, so it doesn’t look suspicious?’” Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Executive CourseThere’s been speculation about why Donald Trump made an unannounced trip to the Washington area, where he was photographed on a golf course with his son Eric and several other men — none of whom had golf clubs. Jimmy Fallon called it a “very diverse group,” saying “they had polo shirts of every color. ”“Looks like backstage at a fashion show for Marshall’s.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, Trump was smart. He was like, ‘How about nine of us meet on the green with no clubs, so it doesn’t look suspicious?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump was like, ‘So, I think I buried the documents somewhere around here. So start — start digging, boys.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Whatever it was, it must not have been too important because Eric was there, riding up front with Daddy like a big boy.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Emmys Edition)“The Emmy Awards ceremony was held last night. Our show was nominated and, honey, clear some space on the mantle, ‘cause they had snow globes at the airport!” — SETH MEYERS“John Oliver beat us for like the 485th time in a row, and congratulations to John. But I’ll tell you something: Even though we didn’t win last night, it was an honor just to get Covid from those who did win last night.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“As they all are nowadays, this was the lowest-rated Emmys show ever. Only 5.92 million people watched the show on NBC. But that’s not really the whole story — it’s not fair. It was also on Peacock, so when you add in the people who streamed it there, it’s still 5.92 million people.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingEthan Hawke answered the “Colbert Questionert” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe newly minted Emmy winner Quinta Brunson will talk about her big night on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutLee Jung-jae, left, who won the Emmy for best actor in a drama series, and Hwang Dong-hyuk, who was honored for his directing, after an impressive showing for “Squid Game” in Los Angeles on Monday.Aude Guerrucci/ReutersAs “Squid Game” racked up multiple Emmys, it was hailed as the latest example of South Korea’s rise as a cultural powerhouse. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Declares Trump ‘the Worst Ex Ever’

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      “After four years of putting up with his nonsense, we finally throw him out of the house, he takes 40 boxes of our stuff,” Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Ménage a treason’The F.B.I.’s search at Mar-a-Lago continued to dominate late night on Wednesday, as further details emerge on its findings.Jimmy Kimmel called Trump “the worst ex ever.”“After four years of putting up with his nonsense, we finally throw him out of the house, he takes 40 boxes of our stuff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“These documents — these are so protected they can’t even be viewed by most members of Trump’s or the president’s national security team. The only people who are allowed to see them are the president of the United States and a few highly cleared members of his council, and anyone who goes into Trump’s closet looking for a broom, I guess.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So this time, the ex-president wasn’t just betraying our country, he brought in another country for a ménage a treason.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Investigators reportedly found the nuclear documents hidden in the club’s storage closet, next to a bag of golf tees, a box of old pool noodles, and Melania, who was hiding in there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He took top secret documents from the White House and had them sitting in boxes in a room where workers regularly went in and out. They would have been more secure inside the claw machine at Dave and Buster’s, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Nuclear Stress Test Edition)“More details are emerging about the sensitive documents found inside Donald Trump’s Florida home, and it turns out some of those documents included information about a foreign nation’s military defenses and their nuclear capabilities. It’s pretty shocking. Hard to imagine such recklessness from an otherwise perfectly buttoned-up administration.” — JAMES CORDEN“How do you explain this to our allies? ‘Don’t worry, prime minister, your country’s nuclear secrets are perfectly, safely stored at the Mar-a-Lago waffle bar between the syrup and the Nutella bucket.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“These nuclear secrets could have been stolen by foreign agents, they could have been published on the internet, Eric could have eaten them — we don’t know!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Imagine being a guest at Mar-a-Lago and using the bathroom, and out of the corner of your eye you just notice something and are you like, ‘Hang on. Is that — is that Norway’s nuclear codes?’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingAmber Ruffin, a writer for “Late Night,” skewered the people who misidentified famous Black women at the U.S. Open tennis tournament and at a New York Liberty W.N.B.A. game during Wednesday’s “Amber Says What?”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightRyan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney will talk about their new series “Welcome to Wrexham” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutSimone Niamani Thompson for The New York TimesThe women of “Black Panther” leaned on each other to get through the grief-stricken shoot without their late co-star Chadwick Boseman while filming the sequel, “Wakanda Forever.” More

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      Late Night Returns Just in Time for Trump to Get a Special Master

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      “Once again Donald Trump has exposed a part of America that I’m willing to bet nobody knew existed,” Trevor Noah said. “Nobody!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Master of NoneAfter a summer full of breaks, guest hosts and repeats, late-night hosts returned to the air on Tuesday, just in time to talk about the documents the F.B.I. found at Mar-a-Lago and the appointment of a special master to review them.Trevor Noah said he’d never heard of a special master before, adding that “once again Donald Trump has exposed a part of America that I’m willing to bet nobody knew existed. Nobody!”“I didn’t even know it was an option. I’ve watched 10 million hours of ‘Law & Order.’ I know about subpoenas, I know about breaking the chain of custody, objection, sustained, overruled, sidebar in my chambers — but not once have I heard the term ‘special master.’ Once again, thanks to Trump, because of his hard work and dedication to doing crimes, we’ve all learned something new today, and I say thank you, Mr. President.” — TREVOR NOAH“Which, I’m not going to lie, when I first heard it, sounded pretty cool. It was like, ‘Donald Trump is getting a special master.’ I was like, ‘He’s about to learn kung fu?’” — TREVOR NOAH“Who the special master will be, we do not know. Maybe they can get Eric to do it. He’s special, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, the special master has to review over 11,000 documents, which could delay the investigation. Man, only Trump could avoid jail just because there’s too much evidence.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’ve got to say, ‘special master’ actually sounds kind of kinky. [imitating deep voice] ‘You will address me as special master, and you will submit … your motion to dismiss no later than 3 p.m. Friday. Now beg for my gavel.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Secret Documents Edition)“You know, I’ve been trying to understand how he could possibly believe he had the right to take all those documents to his house. It’s weird that a person who barely reads would even want documents. It’s like finding out your dog collects stamps.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But even more concerning is that the F.B.I. also found dozens of classified folders that were empty, which obviously raises the question, where are the documents from the folders? Are they in other boxes? Did he lend them to Saudi Arabia? Or maybe — maybe it’s more innocent, yeah. Maybe Trump keeps a bunch of folders labeled ‘classified’ so he can give them to friends with photocopies of his butt inside.” — TREVOR NOAH“It’s also possible the intelligence community didn’t trust Trump with classified information so they just gave him empty folders.” — TREVOR NOAH“The feds also recovered documents related to the use of ‘clandestine human sources’ in intelligence gathering. That means lists of our secret operatives in foreign governments. Why would he have those? Is he writing a new spy thriller: ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Woman, Man, Camera, T.V.’?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingOn “The Tonight Show,” Hillary Clinton reacted to Jimmy Fallon’s monologue about what the F.B.I. found while searching Mar-a-Lago.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe singer Fletcher will make her late-night debut on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutKaren O of Yeah Yeah Yeahs.Mark Horton/Getty ImagesAfter a lengthy hiatus, the art rock trio Yeah Yeah Yeahs is returning with a new studio album, “Cool It Down,” on Sept. 30. More

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      Trevor Noah on Liz Cheney’s ‘Bigly’ Loss

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      Noah said her defeat in a primary was “the chance for Wyoming Republicans to declare whether they stood with Liz Cheney or with Donald Trump, and they answered bigly.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Ch-ch-ch-changesRepresentative Liz Cheney lost her re-election bid in the Wyoming Republican primary on Tuesday.On Wednesday’s “Daily Show,” Trevor Noah said her loss was “the chance for Wyoming Republicans to declare whether they stood with Liz Cheney or with Donald Trump, and they answered bigly.”“The reason everyone was watching this race is because Liz Cheney was running for re-election and of course, Liz Cheney has been the most prominent anti-Trump Republican in Congress. She voted to impeach him; she’s led the committee investigating him. Basically she just will not stop talking about that one time he tried to overthrow the American democracy. That was like, like a million years ago, lady, move on!” — TREVOR NOAH“Trump was so excited he threw a ticker-tape parade made out of classified documents.” — JIMMY FALLON“But the Liz Cheney story isn’t over yet because she’s vowed that she will still do anything to stop Trump from becoming president again, even possibly running against him in the Republican primary. Yeah. And look, I mean we must admit it is probably is a long shot, but don’t forget she is a Cheney, and if there is one thing they’re committed to, it’s regime change.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Quiet Quitting Edition)“You know how everyone’s been talking about ‘the great resignation’ where people are just like leaving their jobs after the pandemic? Well, if you hate your job and fear confrontation, there’s a new thing called ‘quiet quitting.’ That’s when people emotionally and mentally check out at work and do as little as possible without getting fired. We already have a term for that — it’s called your 30s.” — NICOLE BYER, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“Yeah, that’s right, people are quiet quitting. They’re just going to their jobs and doing the job from 9 to 5 and then, and then hold up, that’s just working. That’s work.” — TREVOR NOAH“People in this country are so obsessed with work. Guys, your job is just a place you go to avoid seeing your family, all right? It doesn’t need to be the most important part of your existence. If your job is from 9 to 5, that means the work messages should stop at 5, too. Yeah, that’s right — any message after 5 is basically a booty call. If your boss texts you at 7:45 to see if you filed an expense report, it should start with ‘Hey, you up?’” — TREVOR NOAH“Bottom line, you need to establish a work-life balance, so remember, if you hate your job, make sure you also hate your life.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingDemi Lovato joined Jimmy Fallon for his monologue when she co-hosted Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightMartin Short, an Emmy nominee, will pop by Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutIn Neal Baer’s living room, from left: “Las Reinas de la Noche, 5” (1995) and “Las Reinas de la Noche, 8” (1993-95), both by Reynaldo Rivera; and a triptych by Joey Terrill, “In the Middle of It All” (1992-93).Photograph by Blaine Davis. Terrill: Courtesy of the artist and Ortuzar Projects, New YorkCollectors like Neal Baer are resurrecting the forgotten art of the AIDS era. More

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      Al Franken Becomes First Former U.S. Senator to Host ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’

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      “But tonight is not about politics, it’s about comedy and having fun,” he said. “So, who’s here from out of state to get an abortion?”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.May I Be Frank?Al Franken returned to his late-night comedy roots on Tuesday, becoming the first former U.S. senator to guest-host “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” “But tonight is not about politics, it’s about comedy and having fun,” he said. “So, who’s here from out of state to get an abortion?”“Today, President Biden signed the Inflation Reduction Act, which is a huge achievement. It makes the single biggest investment in addressing climate change ever. While I’m here, I — I really should talk about some of the other existential threats facing our nation: the enormous gaps in wealth and income, the threats to our democracy. But I really think one of the most serious issues facing our country today is just how big a [expletive] Ted Cruz is.” — AL FRANKENFranken also commented on the F.B.I. search of Mar-a-Lago.“Now, some are saying Trump could be a flight risk, which is crazy that the former president of the United States is a flight risk. But the good news is that at least Donald Trump’s official presidential portrait is back up at every airport in the United States.” — AL FRANKEN“You know, there has never been a better time to visit Palm Beach because for the rest of the summer, Mar-a-Lago is running a special weekend getaway package that includes free breakfast, a room upgrade where available, and a nuclear secret of your choosing.” — AL FRANKENThe Punchiest Punchlines (Inflation Reduction Act Edition)“Well, guys, today President Biden returned from his vacation in South Carolina and signed the historic Inflation Reduction Act into law. That’s right. Yeah. Yeah, things have been going pretty great for Biden. He may not have gotten the first impression rose, but he’s working his way towards an invite to the fantasy suite.” — JIMMY FALLON“It does everything. It subsidizes electric cars. It funds wind and solar energy. And it changes the name of summer to ‘extra spring.’ Hopefully, Mother Nature falls for that one.” — TREVOR NOAH“Right after he signed the bill, Biden was like, ‘What are those strange sounds?’ and a staffer was like, ‘That’s applause, sir.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump heard, and was like, ‘You’ll definitely want to sneak that one home when you leave office.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingWilliam Shatner narrated the “Daily Showography” of Elon Musk on Tuesday.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe comedian Nicole Byer will kick off two nights of guest-hosting “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Wednesday.Also, Check This OutSolange Knowles at the David H. Koch Theater, where her first score for a ballet company will premiere at New York City Ballet in September.Rahim FortuneSolange Knowles will compose her first ballet score for the Fall Fashion Gala at New York City Ballet in September. More

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      Guest Host Desus Nice Breaks Down Trump’s Excuses on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’

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      “He says the F.B.I. planted fake evidence to frame him, and now he wants them to return the fake evidence,” Nice said. “Even O.J. is like, ‘Yo, bro, you wildin.’”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not-So-Safe KeepingDesus Nice, the former co-host of Showtime’s “Desus & Mero” guest hosted “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Monday, where the topic was the F.B.I.’s search of former President Donald Trump’s Florida estate, Mar-a-Lago.“He’s like a racist Jason Bourne, but more orange,” Nice said of Trump.“Trump says the documents the F.B.I. took from Mar-a-Lago are covered by his white privilege — wait, excuse me, I mean his executive privilege.” — DESUS NICE“They also confiscated 8,000 McRibs, nine Melania clones, one never-been-used Peloton, two tons of industrial-grade ranch dressing, ‘Girls Gone Wild’ volumes 8 through 19 — ay, yo! — Lindsey Graham’s testicles.” — DESUS NICE“Let me just break down Trump’s defense: He says the F.B.I. planted fake evidence to frame him, and now he wants them to return the fake evidence. Even O.J. is like, ‘Yo, bro, you wildin.’” — DESUS NICE“Here’s the thing Donald Trump doesn’t understand: He doesn’t own those documents. They belong to his former employer, the United States government. See, that’s not how jobs work. When you get fired from an office, you don’t get to take the Xerox machine home with you. When I got fired from Showtime, they didn’t let me bring home the cast of ‘Shameless.’” — DESUS NICE“And people are saying, ‘What’s the big deal about a president keeping classified documents at his house?’ Because his house is a golf resort! It has a seafood buffet on Wednesday nights. Come on. This is like if Obama left the nuclear codes at Red Lobster.” — DESUS NICEThe Punchiest Punchlines (Top Secret Edition)“Over the weekend, we found out that the F.B.I. seized 11 sets of classified documents from Trump’s home, including four sets that were marked ‘Top Secret.’ You know Trump just kept those hoping to come across KFC’s secret blend.” — JIMMY FALLON“Also, just a thought, but if the government doesn’t want people reading those files, maybe they shouldn’t label them ‘Top Secret.’ It’s like a guy labeling a porn folder on his computer, ‘Best Porn.’ Call it banana bread recipe. No one will open it.” — JIMMY FALLON“The government should do what we do: Just put secrets in a folder called ‘Taxes 2012-2017.’ Yeah, I have done that my whole life. The only screwup was, I did this when I was 12 years old, and then my mother was like, ‘What taxes are you paying when you’re 12?’ And then she busted me for porn and tax evasion.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingThe singer-songwriter Em Beihold made her television debut on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightSterling K. Brown will appear on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutAfter John Turturro, left, was cast in “Severance,” he suggested Christopher Walken for a role.Wilson Webb/Apple TV+Christopher Walken and John Turturro drew on their years of friendship for their Emmy-nominated roles in “Severance.” More

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      Stephen Colbert Taunts Trump for Bad Bathroom Behavior

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      “To be fair, it’s unclear if those are official White House documents or his toilet’s suicide note,” Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Name DropperStephen Colbert couldn’t resist razzing Donald Trump on Monday night after photos were released that were said to show ripped up notes in the former president’s toilet.“Not the first time the former president tried to flush something embarrassing. One time, staffers went in there and found Eric,” Colbert joked, referring to the former president’s son.“Of course, when the story broke, the ex-president denied it. So, that’s it. There’s no way to know the truth — until this weekend, when the plot went from one-ply to two, because Haberman revealed these photos from a White House source, showing some torn-up toilet memos. To be fair, it is unclear if those are official White House documents or his toilet’s suicide note.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to Maggie Haberman, a New York Times reporter“He even wrote the name ‘Stefanik,’ as in Elise Stefanik, one of the ex-president’s biggest G.O.P. defenders in Congress. If you’re in the MAGA world, that’s huge. Congrats, Elise, heard the president dropped your name.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Wow, even the toilets are writing tell-alls.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Biden’s Back — Again Edition)“Good news, President Biden is now Covid-free! Happy to hear that. He’s back on his feet and as healthy as a 175-year-old horse.” — ROB MCELHENNEY, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“This was Biden’s second bout with the virus. You know, these rebound Covid cases are quite rare. They say the odds of Joe Biden getting reinfected were almost as low as the odds that he gets re-elected.” — ROB MCELHENNEY“And 18 days is a long time in quarantine, but I’m sure he’ll get right back into the swing of things, you know, because, yeah, being president is a lot like, you know, riding a bike — oh, Joe, no, don’t do it! Don’t do it!” — TREVOR NOAH“Yeah, Biden had a great weekend. He’s feeling so good, last night he looked at his bottle of Cialis like, ‘Not tonight, pal. I got this.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe Canadian singer-songwriter Lauren Spencer-Smith made her U.S. television debut on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightKate McKinnon will pop by Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutAbbi Jacobson plays a talented, anxious catcher who becomes her team’s leader.Amazon StudiosAbbi Jacobson cocreated and stars in the new Amazon television adaptation of the popular 1992 film, “A League of Their Own.” More

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      Stephen Colbert Goes Live After Thursday’s Jan. 6 Hearing

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      “Yes, he is a stain on our history, and thanks to these hearings, we know that stain is ketchup,” Stephen Colbert said of Donald Trump.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Insurrection Will Be TelevisedThe lengthy Jan. 6 hearing on Thursday night highlighted former President Donald Trump’s lack of attempts to stop the insurrection on the Capitol, instead choosing to watch Fox News in the White House dining room.“He chose not to act. Same review he got for ‘Home Alone 2,’” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday’s live edition of “Late Night.”“He did not call them from a box. He did not call while watching Fox. He did not help out Uncle Sam. His brain is made of eggs and ham. But, in his defense, it is possible he forgot the number for 9-1-1.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on news that Trump didn’t reach out to any security officials on Jan. 6“Yes, he is a stain on our history — and thanks to these hearings, we know that stain is ketchup.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, referring to Representative Adam Kinzinger’s referring to Trump’s inaction as “a stain” on our history“So, all in all, it was a long night — almost three hours — but it wasn’t nearly as long as the 187 minutes where the former president did nothing to stop an ongoing insurrection that he created and then watched it all in glee as it played out on TV. Let’s just hope some of his followers were watching this tonight.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Positive’ News for Biden Edition)“The White House announced that President Biden has a mild case of Covid. On the bright side, it’s the first positive news Biden’s gotten in months.” — JIMMY FALLON“Now of course, the big story today is that President Biden tested positive for Covid, but according to the White House, Biden is feeling pretty good for a 300-year-old man.” — RUPAUL, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“President Biden tested positive today for the coronavirus. Luckily, we’ve all been keeping our distance.” — SETH MEYERS“Joe said his symptoms are mild, and he’ll be back to falling off his bike in no time.” — RUPAUL“Get well soon, sir. You made it through the Spanish flu; you can make it through this.” — TREVOR NOAH“Biden hasn’t been this sick since the time he got scurvy on Noah’s Ark.” — RUPAUL“That’s right, Covid isn’t going to slow Joe Biden down because he can’t get any slower.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon announced his book club’s latest selection on Thursday’s “Tonight Show”: “Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow,” by Gabrielle Zevin.Also, Check This OutFrom left, Daniel Kaluuya, Keke Palmer and Brandon Perea in “Nope,” the latest feature from the director Jordan Peele.Universal PicturesJordan Peele’s “Nope” stars Daniel Kaluuya and Keke Palmer as brother-and-sister horse wranglers defending the family ranch from an extraterrestrial threat. More