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      Jimmy Fallon Teases Trump for His Criteria for a Running Mate

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      “He likes people who are rich and have hot wives,” Fallon said. “Well, at least he’s taking this seriously.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Real Hot Wives of Trump’s V.P. PicksLate night hosts reacted to reports that former President Donald Trump is vetting four potential running mates as he attempts to regain the nation’s highest office.Jimmy Fallon wished the hopefuls luck on Thursday, saying, “It’s like signing up to be the babysitter in ‘The Exorcist.’”“Yeah, the chance to be Trump’s V.P. Right now, people are, like, ‘What should I wear to my interview — antlers or bigger antlers?” — JIMMY FALLON“You’ve got to appreciate the irony of a convicted felon running a background check.” — JIMMY FALLON“My question is, what can they possibly dig up that would be a red flag for Trump? It’s like [imitating Trump] ‘This person only committed arson — not a deal-breaker.’” — JIMMY FALLON“One source said that Trump’s V.P. pick could be influenced by the fact that he likes people who are rich and have hot wives. Well, at least he’s taking this seriously.” — JIMMY FALLON“Anyway, don’t be surprised when you hear him say, ‘Please welcome my new V.P., Jelly Roll!’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (D-Day Edition)“Eighty years ago on this day, American, British and Canadian troops stormed the beaches of Normandy to fight the forces of good people on both sides.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“While speaking today at the 80th anniversary of D-Day, President Biden removed his aviator sunglasses and said, ‘Hitler and those with him thought democracies were weak.’ Oh, man, you know he’s mad when he takes off his shades. I would not want to be Hitler right now.” — SETH MEYERS“And don’t forget — and this is true — Joe Biden was actually alive back when D-Day happened. And I’m pretty sure when A-Day, B-Day and C-Day happened, too.” — RONNY CHIENG“Once again, these vets did an incredible service to their nation — they made Joe Biden look young.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Donald Trump in 2018 infamously opted not to visit the graves of American soldiers in France because he didn’t want to get his hair wet, and, also, he called them suckers and losers. That’s not a joke, even though the only thing that he ever stormed was Daniels.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel’s sidekick, Guillermo Rodriguez, interviewed members of the Boston Celtics and Dallas Mavericks before the start of the N.B.A. finals.Also, Check This OutDolly Parton has been working on the musical for about a decade.Nina Prommer/EPA, via ShutterstockA new Broadway musical based on the life of Dolly Parton will debut on Broadway in 2026. More

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      Stephen Colbert Calls the Focus on Biden’s Age Old News

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      “You heard that right, ladies and gentlemen: Joe Biden is old,” Colbert said of a Wall Street Journal article on the president’s aptitude.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Old NewsThe Wall Street Journal published an article about the president this week with the headline: “Behind Closed Doors, Biden Shows Signs of Slipping.”“You heard that right, ladies and gentlemen: Joe Biden is old,” Stephen Colbert said. “Which, of course, could disqualify him from being president. After all, being old is a felony.”“Pretty sure one of these guys had a bunch of felonies. Oh, it’s the other guy? Thirty-four? And he’s old, too?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The Wall Street Journal published an article yesterday titled ‘Behind Closed Doors, Biden Shows Signs of Slipping.’ Yeah, we know. Sometimes he doesn’t even make it to the door.” — SETH MEYERS“The Wall Street Journal published an article yesterday that claims President Biden appears to be slipping in private meetings. He keeps saying crazy stuff that makes no sense like, ‘a convicted felon is beating me in the polls.’” — SETH MEYERS“This blockbuster lid-blower-offer also included this little nugget explaining that Biden is someone who has both good moments and bad ones, in a clear contrast with his opponent, who only has bad ones.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Still, I am confident that The Wall Street Journal knows ‘Old Man is Old’ is breaking news, but I’m sure they will balance that perspective in their article about their 93-year-old boss Rupert Murdoch’s wedding: ‘Young Buck Ready to [Expletive].’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Boeing in Space Edition)“The first-ever manned flight of the Boeing Starliner spacecraft launched today after multiple delays, with a pair of NASA astronauts onboard. Boeing seems to have trouble getting to Cincinnati. I don’t know, should they be going — should they be heading into space? I don’t know. They put extra duct tape on the doors just to be safe.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“They were aiming for Cleveland, but, still, good for them.” — JIMMY FALLON“Imagine being surrounded by bags of urine and then hearing ‘Don’t worry, there’s a Boeing on the way to help.’” — JIMMY FALLON, on the Starliner delivering a new urine processing pump to the space station to replace a broken one“Seriously, you thought it was rough when you forgot to change the filter on your Brita.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’ll tell you, that definitely isn’t on the list of activities at space camp.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I had no idea being an astronaut was so glamorous.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe comedian Joel Kim Booster remembered the first time he met Ronny Chieng on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe comedian and “Stress Positions” star John Early will appear on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutJulia Fox.Miguel Medina/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images.The actress, writer and New York icon Julia Fox dished on being an “It Girl” for the latest episode of Popcast. More

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      Late Night Reacts to President Biden’s Mexican Border Closure

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      “The Daily Show” host Ronny Chieng joked that the president “has decided to start trying to win the election” with a temporary order affecting asylum seekers.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Access DeniedPresident Biden issued a temporary order to shut down the Southern border to asylum seekers on Tuesday in an attempt to prevent migrants from crossing into the country.“The Daily Show” host Ronny Chieng said that the president “has decided to start trying to win the election,” with border security as one of his “biggest weaknesses.”“It’s why he tried to make a border deal with Republicans earlier this year. It’s also why Republicans refused to make a deal with him. They’re like, ‘How can we blame you for this if you fix it, you idiot? So now with his polls tanking five months before Election Day, Biden is finally saying ‘[Expletive] it, I’ll just do it myself.” — RONNY CHIENG“It’s not very popular to have no control over who immigrates to your country, OK? Just ask the Native Americans.” — RONNY CHIENG“Hey, I get it, dude, but if you don’t want people to come, like, maybe stop saying how awesome America is. ‘It’s the best; you can’t come!’” — RONNY CHIENG“But if you’re really upset about this, don’t worry — like everything else Biden does, it’ll probably get knocked down by the Supreme Court. So, if America really wants to lock down the Southern border, they should put Ticketmaster in charge of it, OK? These guys are the best at making sure nobody can actually get into the thing they want to, OK? Everyone will be waiting on the queue for three hours. Yeah, and then they find out that America’s already sold out.” — RONNY CHIENGThe Punchiest Punchlines (Immediate Action Edition)“Say what you want about Biden, but he takes immediate action five months before an election.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’m going to be honest; I’m not sure Biden’s plan is going to work. Forget the border — we can’t even secure the deodorant at Walgreens.” — JIMMY FALLON“I feel bad for Biden — he can’t close the border, and he can’t open a bottle of Tylenol.” — JIMMY FALLON“That is a tough needle to thread, being an anti-immigration liberal: [imitating Biden] ‘So we’re going to seal the border, folks, but the wall is going to be gluten-free, and the barbed wire will be pro-choice. It’s not a border wall, it’s a ‘board-her’ wall.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingVice President Kamala Harris discussed the Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v. Wade on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe stand-up comic and actor Tig Notaro will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This Out“I don’t think I can perform the way I want to in a couple of years,” Cyndi Lauper said. “I want to be strong.”Thea Traff for The New York TimesAt 70, the pop icon Cyndi Lauper is readying one last tour and a documentary about her life. More

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      Stephen Colbert Counts Down to Donald Trump’s Sentencing

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      Colbert showed off his “Countdown to Sentencing Advent Calendar,” which contained a bottle of bourbon.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Convicted Felon Trump’Most late night hosts were off last week after the Memorial Day holiday, which meant Monday was their first chance to discuss how Donald Trump had been found guilty on 34 counts in his hush money trial.Stephen Colbert continuously referred to the former president as “convicted felon Trump” and wheeled out his “Countdown to Sentencing Advent Calendar,” complete with Judge Juan M. Merchan’s face on each one of the 38 days until July 11, and a bottle of bourbon inside.“It’s going to be the R.N.C. live from Cell Block B with a keynote speech from his warden, his cellmate Spider, that one guard who smuggles in cellphones up his butt, and, for the cocktail hour, enjoy complimentary toilet wine.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Former President Trump has been found guilty on all 34 charges in his criminal hush money trial and faces up to four years in prison. Well, for what it’s worth, all your friends are already there, you know? It’s like what my wife tells me on our way to a dinner party: ‘Don’t worry — you’ll know people.’” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, Trump was found guilty. They were going to put him in an orange jumpsuit, but it felt redundant.” — JIMMY FALLON“Just because there’s ample evidence and a jury believes it, anyone could now be found guilty. Do we really want to live in an America where the law is applied equally regardless of how rich you are?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“We might now be facing a situation where if you can’t do the time, and I can’t believe I’m saying this: Don’t do the crime.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The big question now is whether Trump will get jail time or house arrest. If he’s sentenced to jail, Melania will be inside the courtroom chanting, ‘Four more years!’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump will be sentenced on July 11, and his lawyers told him, ‘You should get your affairs in order.’ Trump was like, ‘That’s what got me in trouble in the first place.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, former President Trump was found guilty last week on 34 counts of falsifying business records and faces up to 4 years in jail and a $5,000 fine. And I think I speak for all of us when I say, you can waive the fine.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Lock Her Up Edition)“The people said ‘Lock her up?’ That was your whole campaign — stop it! We remember; we were there. It’s like if Arby’s said ‘We never said we had the meats — the people said we had the meats.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“[imitating Trump] Folks, I was talking about Hilary Swank, OK? No baby is worth a million dollars.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Roasts Republicans for Crying Wolf

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      President Biden “sent an elite team of ultraliberal F.B.I. agents to assassinate Donald Trump, but somehow he slipped out the back door,” Kimmel joked on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Losing the PlotNewly unsealed files from the F.B.I. search of Mar-a-Lago in 2022 showed that agents were authorized to use deadly force if necessary.“Which is standard operating procedure, whenever the F.B.I. execute a search warrant,” Jimmy Kimmel noted on Wednesday, “but in the MAGA-verse, it is a plot to kill Donald Trump.”Conservatives reacted with outrage to what some have called an assassination attempt, with Trump writing in a campaign email, “Joe Biden was locked and loaded ready to take me out and put my family in danger.”“I always thought of Biden as a doddering old man, but Donald Trump makes him look like one of The Expendables.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“‘Locked and loaded’? ‘Ready to take me out’? I’ve never heard Joe Biden sound so [expletive] cool in my life.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“The diabolical mastermind Joe Biden sent an elite team of ultraliberal F.B.I. agents to assassinate Donald Trump, but somehow he slipped out the back door. Somehow, they missed the fact that the loudest and most famous man in America and all 15 of his Secret Service agents were in New Jersey at the time that they raided Mar-a-Lago.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trump’s Bedroom Edition)“Well, speaking of the former president, according to a new report, Trump’s attorneys found classified documents in his bedroom four months after the F.B.I. searched Mar-a-Lago. The lawyers knew Trump was hiding something when they saw a box labeled ‘books.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Oh, my God, the only thing more shocking to find in Donald Trump’s bedroom would be a current wife.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, to be fair, Trump rarely goes into his bedroom. As we’ve recently learned, he does most of his sleeping in court.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJay Pharoah performed diss raps in the style of Shaquille O’Neal, 50 Cent, Katt Williams and more on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe musician and “The Voice” star John Legend will appear on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutOn his 41st  wedding anniversary, the actor Peter Gallagher talks about happy matrimony.Photo Illustration by The New York Times; Photo: Charley Gallay/Getty Images For NetflixThe actor Peter Gallagher discussed his four-decades-long marriage to Paula Harwood on this week’s Modern Love Podcast. More

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      Late Night Laments That Trump Didn’t Testify at His Trial

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      Jimmy Fallon said Trump wanted to take the stand in his criminal case on Tuesday, “but then he saw it was three steps without a handrail.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.False TestimonyDonald Trump’s defense rested in his criminal trial on Tuesday. Despite previous statements, Trump did not testify on his own behalf.“He wanted to take the stand, but then he saw it was three steps without a handrail,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Tuesday.“That is shocking. Trump is not talking? What happened — did he write himself a check for $130,000?” — STEPHEN COLBERT”So he’s doing the opposite of what he told us he was going to do over and over again? That’s not the Donald Trump I know, and I played full-contact hockey without a helmet this morning.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Is it possible that Donald Trump is full of [expletive]?” — MICHAEL KOSTAThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Fourth Reich’ Edition)“OK, if you zoom in, you can see they slipped in the words ‘A Unified Reich.’ A Fourth Reich, if you will.” — JIMMY KIMMEL, on a video reposted on Trump’s Truth Social account“The good news is Trump wants to bring the country together. The bad news is that country is Germany in 1933.”— JIMMY KIMMEL“Evidently MAGA now stands for ‘Make America Germany Around 1938.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“When they saw the ad, even Confederate statues were, like, ‘You should take that down.’” — JIMMY FALLON“What else does this man have to do for people to see what he is? Grow the mustache?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“How many of his supporters do you think would say, ‘All right, that’s too much for me.’ I’d guess maybe 10.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingBillie Eilish performed her new single “Lunch” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe “Curb Your Enthusiasm” star J.B. Smoove will appear on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutGraceland served as Elvis Presley’s personal home in Memphis from 1957 until his death in 1977, at the age of 42.Brandon Dill/Associated PressThe actress Riley Keough claims that a company is fraudulently planning to auction off the Memphis home of her grandfather, Elvis Presley. More

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      Stephen Colbert Slams Justice Alito for Using His Wife as a Scapegoat

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      Colbert joked that Alito “dropped a dime on his gal” when the Supreme Court justice blamed his wife for the flying of an upside-down American flag at their home shortly after Jan. 6.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.(Blame It On My) Wife GuySupreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has come under fire after photos showed an upside-down American flag flying in front of his Virginia home shortly after the insurrection on Jan. 6, 2021.Stephen Colbert said on Monday that there is “no possible reason for a Supreme Court justice displaying a symbol of insurrection at his home, which is why, when this photo was published, Alito immediately did the right thing, owned up and blamed his wife.”“So he dropped a dime on his gal, citing the landmark case of ‘Me Just Tryna Live My Life v. Ladies Be Crazy, Amirite?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And that’s significant because, at that time, the upside-down flag had become a symbol of the ‘Stop the Steal’ movement, and even worse, all of Alito’s garden gnomes were fully Q-Anon.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So, Alito clearly knew about this because he came and went for several days, and, to paraphrase my favorite spangled banner, ‘The flag was still there.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“By the way, if you didn’t like those jokes, they were my wife’s idea. I just came home, and the jokes were there. I had nothing to do with those jokes.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Defense Rests Edition)“Speaking of Trump’s hush money trial, today after calling 20 witnesses over the past month, the prosecution rested their case. When he heard, Trump was like, [imitating Trump] ‘Big deal, I’ve been resting the whole case.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Prosecutors concluded their case today. The defense is expected to rest tomorrow, and I have to say, I don’t think the defense has ever been more well rested than this one.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Today, Michael Cohen was back on the stand in Trump’s hush money trial and he admitted to stealing $30,000 from the Trump organization. It’s nice at the end of one trial when they tease the next trial.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe Tony nominee Eddie Redmayne discussed playing the Emcee in the Broadway revival of “Cabaret” on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe journalist and filmmaker Sebastian Junger will discuss his new book, “In My Time of Dying,” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This Out“Stax: Soulsville, U.S.A.,” on HBO, looks back at the influential record label that turned out hits and minted stars like Isaac Hayes, seen here at the 1972 Wattstax concert in Los Angeles.Howard BinghamHBO’s new series, “Stax: Soulsville, U.S.A.,” details the triumph and tragedy of the iconic record label that was home to Otis Redding, Isaac Hayes and the Staple Singers. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Recaps Stormy Daniels’s Testimony in Court

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      “Team Trump spent much of the day trying to paint Daniels as a sleazy, money-grubbing liar, which, if that is true, you can see why they hit it off,” Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Quite a dayOn Thursday, former President Donald Trump’s defense attorneys concluded their cross-examination of Stormy Daniels.“And I’ll tell you, it was quite a day to be a stenographer. These are actual phrases that were used in court today: ‘Human toilet,’ ‘Orange turd’ and ‘Make America horny again.’ And print those out and hang them on the Smithsonian wall.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Team Trump spent much of the day trying to paint Daniels as a sleazy, money-grubbing liar, which, if that is true, you can see why they hit it off.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“During her cross-examination today, one of Trump’s lawyers asked Stormy Daniels, ‘You made all this up, right?’ A strategy that immediately backfired when Trump yelled, ‘No, she didn’t! We had sex!’” — SETH MEYERS“Today, former President Trump’s attorneys finished their cross-examination of Stormy Daniels, and they accused her of lying and hawking merchandise for personal gain. Trump was like, ‘This also feels like a shot at me, too.’” — JIMMY FALLON“[imitating Trump] And for more on why it’s so wrong to be a sleazy money-grubbing merch seller, please buy my God Bless America Donald Trump Bible.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Heated and Intense Edition)“Today’s cross-examination was described as ‘heated’ and ‘intense,’ which coincidentally are the only two settings on Trump’s tanning bed.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump was like, ‘If you think that’s bad, you should see the texts I’m getting from Melania.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Former President Trump appeared to briefly fall asleep in court again this morning during adult film star Stormy Daniels’s testimony. Because in real life, you can’t fast-forward the scenes where the actors are talking.” — SETH MEYERS“But this was not her first rodeo, and they would have known that if they would have seen her movie, ‘My Third Rodeo.’ Very good. It’s part of a series.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJohn Della Volpe, the polling director at the Harvard Institute of Politics, sat down with Jon Stewart to discuss his new book “Fight: How Gen Z is Channeling Their Fear and Passion to Save America” on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutCass Elliot performing on her television special “Don’t Call Me Mama Anymore” in September 1973. After she went solo, she found it hard to shake her nickname.CBS Photo Archive, via Getty ImagesFor 50 years, singer Cass Elliott’s talent has been overshadowed by a hurtful rumor about her death. More