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      Stephen Colbert Chides Trump for Ignoring Expanded Gag Order

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      Colbert said that after the order was amended, the former president “paused, listened to his critics and launched another attack on the judge’s daughter, this time with photos.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Friends and Family Ban’The judge overseeing former President Donald Trump’s criminal trial over a hush-money payment to a porn star expanded his gag order on Monday.Stephen Colbert said the expanded order made sense: “Because for me, the order goes ‘Think about Trump, then gag.’”“Specifically, the judge expanded the order to bar Trump from attacking his family members because last week, Trump went after the judge’s daughter on Truth Social, and he got a lot of heat for this despicable personal attack. So he paused, listened to his critics, and launched another attack on the judge’s daughter, this time with photos.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The D.A. and the judge are still fair targets for Trump, but the new order does now cover their families. ‘[imitating Trump] Challenge accepted.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Donald Trump thinks a gag order is what Melania does when she sees him get out of the hot tub.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He signed him up for the friends and family ban.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump has been going after the judge’s daughter, which is just nuts. So the judge ordered him to stop and he declined. This morning, he did it again — he wrote a whole diatribe on Truth Social, and guess what happened to him? Nothing, nothing happened again. Are laws real? Because I’ve been stupidly following them my whole life now, and it doesn’t seem to matter.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Repo Man Edition)“Donald Trump pulled a rabbit out of his MAGA hat. He managed to post that $175 million bond he couldn’t get. He got one courtesy of the Knight Specialty Insurance Company, which I’m guessing did not Google the phrase ‘Who is Donald Trump?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Don Hankey, he sells loans to people with less than exceptional credit. Forbes said his company repossesses about 250 cars a day. Our former president got a loan from a repo man.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know their slogan: ‘Turned down by the banky? Don’t get so cranky. Call me, Don Hankey. You’ll say ‘Why, thanky!’ Don, good luck with the porn star spanky.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingThe guest host Desi Lydic highlighted the newfound popularity of women’s basketball on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJerrod Carmichael will talk about his new HBO reality show on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThe conductor Klaus Mäkela.Vincent Tullo for The New York TimesAt 28, the Chicago Symphony’s new conductor, Klaus Mäkelä, is the youngest music director to lead a top American ensemble. More

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      Late Night Takes Stock of Donald Trump’s Tanking Media Company

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      Jimmy Fallon joked that “Truth Social stock tanked so fast, they’re changing the name to Twitter.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Trump’s Stock SinksShares of Trump Media & Technology Group, the owner of Truth Social, tanked on Monday. That cut the value of Donald Trump’s majority share to about $3.7 billion, down from its peak of $6 billion last week.“Yeah, Truth Social stock tanked so fast, they’re changing the name to Twitter,” Jimmy Fallon joked.“When he heard another one of his businesses was tanking, Trump was, like, ‘[imitating Trump] They blow up so fast.’” — JIMMY FALLON“As a result of the stock tanking, Trump’s net worth dropped $2 billion. Trump’s so panicked, he’s now selling copies of the Torah.” — JIMMY FALLON“How could that be? They have such a solid business model: Old rapist yells at Easter.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“What a shock that the stock price of a company with no profits or success of any kind is falling. The way things are going, Trump is going to have to start selling a deluxe Bible with a dictionary attached.” — SETH MEYERS“He posted 70 times on Easter — what’s in the baskets at the Trump family Easter egg hunt, Cadbury meth eggs?” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Easter Egg Roll Edition)“The White House hosted the 144th annual Easter egg roll today, and about 40,000 people were expected to participate. Forty thousand! But, then again, where else can you get free eggs?” — SETH MEYERS“Forty thousand, or as the hands that laid those eggs put it, ‘An entire generation lost, and for what?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s the one day of the year where Joe Biden says, ‘You kids get on my lawn!’ And he did.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Biden came out and said, ‘Look, I know I’m mentally stable, but everyone else can see this six-foot bunny next to me, right?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Then the president handed out baskets filled with his two favorite Easter treats, rhubarb and Polident, and a good time was had by all.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Donald Trump also had a beautiful Easter message. April fools!” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJon Stewart explored the promise of A.I. on Monday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightJames Cordon will return to late night, this time as a guest, on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This Out“She wanted more from life, and, ultimately, life lost interest in her,” the director Rachel Chavkin said of the painter Tamara de Lempicka, whose artistic reputation remains mixed.Bettmann via, Getty ImagesA new biographical musical about the unsung artist Tamara de Lempicka opens on April 14. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Calls Trump’s V.P. Selection Process ‘The MAGA-pprentice’

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      Kimmel’s advice to Donald Trump’s potential running mates: “If he asks you to run, run!” Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The MAGA-pprentice’In his monologue on Thursday, Jimmy Kimmel talked about the speculation over who Donald Trump’s running mate will be. Supposedly, Trump plans to audition potential candidates at campaign rallies. “He’s turning this into ‘The MAGA-pprentice,’” Kimmel said.“The finalists for V.P. include Elise Stefanik, Tim Scott, Tulsi Gabbard and Dr. Ben Carson, even though Dr. Ben Carson died six years ago.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ben Carson is literally a sleeper candidate. Can you imagine Vice President Carson sitting behind Trump at the State of the Union? This is a guy who falls asleep standing up.” — JIMMY KIMMELTrump is also said to be considering Senator Marco Rubio of Florida, despite the many insults the two have thrown at each other in the past. Kimmel found it funny that Rubio now says it would be an honor for anyone to be offered the position.“Oh, poor little Marco, he thinks he’s different,” Kimmel said. “He’s thinking, ‘I’m the one who’s going to ride this bull.’ No, no, you will wind up in the mud with all the other rodeo clowns.”“Think about all the people who thought they could domesticate Donald Trump: Chris Christie, Mitt Romney, Jeff Sessions, Kevin McCarthy, Rudy Giuliani, Ted Cruz, Ron DeSantis, Mike Pence, all his wives. I mean, you think this won’t be you, too? Destroying people like you — it’s the only thing Donald Trump is good at. If he asks you to run, run! Get those little legs moving like a toddler going into a Chuck E. Cheese.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Suggests Trump Take a Sip of His Own Medicine

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      “If Donald Trump wants immunity, he should drink bleach like he told us to do when we wanted immunity,” Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Has He Tried Bleach?On Tuesday, Donald Trump’s lawyers asked the Supreme Court to rule that he has absolute immunity from criminal charges stemming from his attempts to subvert the 2020 election.On Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel joked that Trump “also wants immunity from chlamydia, just in case.”“His lawyers told the court, ‘Denial of criminal immunity would incapacitate every future president with de facto blackmail and extortion while in office and condemn him to years of post-office trauma at the hands of political opponents.’ Which sounds bad, right? And yet somehow, we’ve had 44 presidents before him — that never happened to any of them except for this one guy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“A president could make some seriously crazy stuff happen. If you’re dumb and arrogant, you commit the crimes yourself on television, then you have a problem. Then you have to beg the Supreme Court for something preposterous, like immunity. But if Donald Trump wants immunity, he should drink bleach like he told us to do when we wanted immunity.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Turns out the guy who bragged to Billy Bush he can do whatever he wants thinks he should be allowed to do whatever he wants.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (March Madness Edition)“My hope is that we get all the madness out in March, so we don’t have any left for November.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Gonzaga tomorrow plays McNeese State, which, not only do I not believe Gonzaga is a real place, I don’t think there’s any such place as McNeese State, either. I know for a fact there are 50 states, and McNeese is not one of them, OK? This is a game between two imaginary teams they’re putting on. The A.I. has finally taken over.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Today, President Biden posted his bracket, and he picked a favorite, UConn, to repeat as national champions. Yeah, Biden relates to UConn ’cause they both have a 38 percent chance of winning again.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Biden has UConn, Houston, North Carolina and Tennessee in his Final Four, while Trump was able to identify all the mascots: [imitating Trump] ‘I see the duck, the bear, the lion.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Trump didn’t fill out a bracket ’cause he doesn’t have the 10 bucks to join the pool.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingKristen Wiig used an opera singer to answer Jimmy Fallon’s interview questions on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe “Shirley” star Regina King will appear on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutA letter from Eric Clapton to Pattie Boyd, who inspired his song “Layla.” It begins, “Dearest L.”Christie’s Images Ltd.Pattie Boyd, who was at the center of one of rock’s most mythic love triangles, is auctioning love letters that Eric Clapton wrote her while she was married to George Harrison. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Thinks Hiring an Ex-Con Is the Right Move for Trump

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      Employing Paul Manafort, a former campaign adviser who was convicted of fraud, “will make Trump seem less fraudy by comparison,” the “Tonight Show” host reasoned.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Worst Best People’Donald Trump is said to be considering a new hire: Paul Manafort, one of his former campaign advisers, who went to prison for tax and bank fraud (and was pardoned by Trump in 2020). News outlets reported that he was in talks about helping with the Republican National Convention.On Tuesday’s “Tonight Show,” Jimmy Fallon said Trump’s team was hoping that “hiring someone who has been convicted of fraud will make Trump seem less fraudy by comparison.”“I think it’s actually a good idea. Trump needs an adviser like Paul Manafort to tell him not to hire guys like Paul Manafort.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump is bringing back all the worst best people.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump reportedly wants Manafort to help oversee the Republican National Convention, which I’m surprised he can do because, you know, when Manafort was being sentenced, he claimed he had too many medical problems to go to prison. But I guess he magically healed up. And who better to run your election campaign than a man who isn’t allowed to vote in that election?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Make America Kate Again Edition)“This week in the United States, there have been more Google searches for Kate Middleton than for Joe Biden or Donald Trump. We finally did it — we made America Kate again.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You could tell it’s the first day of spring ’cause, according to the royal family, Kate Middleton just came out of hibernation.” — JIMMY FALLON“Kate has not been seen in public since she had surgery back in January, which of course led to all sorts of rumors about her whereabouts and well-being. Everyone’s putting together clues to find the princess — it’s like an international game of ‘Zelda’ is happening right now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Maybe she got a bad perm and is waiting for her hair to grow out, you know?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This shows you how different it is in the U.K. Kate goes missing for a few weeks, the whole country goes berserk. Meanwhile, we haven’t seen Melania since 2021.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe hip-hop mogul Dr. Dre was joined by Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent and Eminem for his first late-night appearance in 30 years on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightKristen Wiig will appear on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutMost of the tracks on Shakira’s new album deal with romantic ups and (mostly) downs, honed into crisp, tuneful pop structures.Jose Breton/Invision, vía Associated PressShakira says her first album in seven years, “Las Mujeres Ya No Lloran,” helped her transform “pain into productivity.” More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Gets a Kick Out of Bothering Donald Trump

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      “Donald Trump has said I’m not talented so many times, Eric is starting to get jealous,” Kimmel said after the ex-president bashed him (again) on Fox News.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.They’re All Going to Laugh at YouDuring a Fox News appearance over the weekend, Donald Trump discussed Jimmy Kimmel’s jab at him during the Oscars. Trump expressed amazement that Kimmel had read Trump’s insulting posts about him on the air (“All he had to do was keep his mouth shut”). The ex-president also insisted that his posts had gone viral, not Kimmel’s on-air response to them: “Isn’t it past your jail time?”“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Kimmel said on Monday. “I mean, Donald Trump has said I’m not talented so many times, Eric is starting to get jealous.””What he doesn’t realize is that I love this. I love that this bothered him so much. I love that Fox picked a news guy nobody knows to interview him, and I especially love when he tries to spin the fact that everyone was laughing at him into a positive.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Barbie was laughing at you. Not only were they laughing at you on Oscar Sunday, there are now dozens of ‘Past Your Jail Time’ shirts for sale. There are mugs. There are tank tops. There is an ‘Isn’t It Past Your Jail Time’ backpack. People are writing it outside the Trump Hotel. There are billboards. There are billboards in Pennsylvania, in Florida, and there are a lot more to come.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But if only I’d kept my mouth shut. Imagine him telling anyone they should’ve kept their mouth shut? I mean, that should be on his tombstone: ‘Should have kept his mouth shut.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (His Word Is His Bond Edition)“Trump’s lawyers today told the court they can’t find anyone to put up the $454 million bond he needs to cover what he owes the state of New York. They say they approached around 30 bond companies and none of them would do business — gee, I wonder why.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“In his defense, how is a billionaire ever supposed to come up with half a billion dollars, you know?” — JIMMY FALLON“Can you imagine that call? ‘Hi, we represent Donald Trump. We were wondering if you could — hello?’ I mean, who would have ever guessed that a hard-earned reputation for not paying your bills would make it difficult to get credit?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump is pretty desperate for the money. Right now, if you go on Airbnb, you can rent Trump Tower, Mar-a-Lago and Eric.” — JIMMY FALLON“And what’s the problem, anyway? Didn’t you say Mar-a-Lago is worth at least $1.8 billion? Just get a reverse mortgage on that. I’m sure Tom Selleck could help you.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Isn’t Shocked to See Trump Back in Court

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      ”What’s still a mystery is why a bunch of top secret documents were taken by a president who, by all accounts, does not read,” Jimmy Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Another Day in CourtFormer President Donald Trump appeared in a Florida courtroom on Thursday, where a federal judge rejected his motion to dismiss charges of mishandling classified documents against him.“The fun thing about these hearings is you don’t know if Trump is going to show up,” Jimmy Kimmel said. “He doesn’t have to come, but he sometimes — it’s like when you go on a boat, sometimes you see a whale, sometimes you don’t.”“Even when he’s not required to be there, just scowling at the defense table, storming out of the courtroom, and holding impromptu press conferences while he’s penned in by barricades like a balloon before the start of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.” — SETH MEYERS“You’re not supposed to love being in court this much. The only person I can think of who spent this much time in court is Judge Judy, and look how mad she is.” — SETH MEYERS“This is a historic case. Not only is it the first time a former president has been charged with illegally removing and withholding classified documents; it’s also the first time a former president used classified documents to decorate his bathroom.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump claims the documents were his to do with as he pleased. But his claim is complicated by the fact that they were not. They were not his to do with. What’s still a mystery is why a bunch of top secret documents were taken by a president who, by all accounts, does not read.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Badly Edition)“Yes, in terms of badly, Trump has been treated the badliest. Although maybe Lincoln was treated a little bit worse, what with being shot in the head and all? But I doubt he was on his deathbed saying, ‘At least I didn’t have a pee tape rumor.’” — DESI LYDIC of “The Daily Show,” on Trump saying that of all the presidents, “nobody’s been treated like Trump, in terms of badly” “Nobody’s been treated like Trump, in terms of badly, and Trump should be treated in terms of goodly.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, he said no president’s been treated worse. Yeah, even John Wilkes Booth is like, ‘Hold on.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Totally normal way to say that. Reminds me of my favorite Michael Jackson album, ‘In Terms of Badly.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Presnell interrupted Questlove and Tariq’s re-enactment of his tense moment from the “Love is Blind” reunion on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutJoy Woods, left, and Ryan Vasquez as the young adult incarnations of Allie and Noah in the musical “The Notebook” at the Gerald Schoenfeld Theater in Manhattan.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesAttendees of the new stage musical based on the 2004 movie “The Notebook” can buy a box of tissues in the lobby for $5. More

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      Late Night Tackles the U.S. House Bill That Could Ban TikTok

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      “This is like iPhone ‘Footloose,’ and there’s no Kevin Bacon to save us,” Jimmy Kimmel joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Final CountdownOn Wednesday, the House passed a bill to ban TikTok in the United States unless the app’s parent company sells it to a non-Chinese owner in the next six months.“So now, the bill goes to the Senate, which means the fate of every tweenaged TikToker is in the hands of a bunch of old white people with Hotmail accounts,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“This is a big deal. This is like iPhone ‘Footloose,’ and there’s no Kevin Bacon to save us.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But, yes, obviously, there is a problem with a Chinese app spying on Americans and feeding us propaganda. You want American apps doing that.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Well, if you guys are worried about the Chinese gathering data on Americans, wait till you find out who makes the phones.” — SETH MEYERS“Only 50 Democrats and 15 Republicans voted ‘no.’ Three-hundred fifty-two voted ‘yes,’ which almost never happens anymore. Who would have guessed that this would be the thing that brings both sides together?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I mean, Republicans voted against their own border bill because they were afraid it would make Joe Biden look good. They can’t even get it together to stand up to Vladimir Putin. But, by God, they will stand up to Charli D’Amelio and then some.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Just to give you an idea of the pull this app has, they did a poll, and half the people who use TikTok said they do believe it poses a threat to national security but they still use it and keep it on their phones. I guess at this point, what the hell, right? I mean, half the country supports a national security threat for president, might as well dance.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Well, apparently, both Democrats and Republicans are worried that China will steal the secrets of the tortilla slap.” — JIMMY FALLON“I don’t think we fully understand how crazy these kids are going to go if they kill TikTok. I mean, for teenagers today, losing TikTok is a bigger deal than losing your virginity. I’m not kidding, either. This is like taking away all of their imaginary friends at once.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Can you imagine if TikTok was banned? I mean, just picture lying down in bed and then actually going to bed, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Losing Teams Edition)“Apparently, R.F.K. Jr. is seriously considering Aaron Rodgers and Jesse Ventura as potential picks for vice president. Yep, Kennedy confirmed that Rodgers and Ventura are at the top of his list, which really makes you wonder who’s at the bottom.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yesterday, we learned that he is reportedly considering Aaron Rodgers for veep. Now that is a risky move to pick Rodgers, because if we’ve learned one thing, it’s that the minute he starts running, he’s going to snap his Achilles’.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More