Kimmel, Jimmy

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      Jimmy Kimmel Gets a Kick Out of Bothering Donald Trump

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      “Donald Trump has said I’m not talented so many times, Eric is starting to get jealous,” Kimmel said after the ex-president bashed him (again) on Fox News.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.They’re All Going to Laugh at YouDuring a Fox News appearance over the weekend, Donald Trump discussed Jimmy Kimmel’s jab at him during the Oscars. Trump expressed amazement that Kimmel had read Trump’s insulting posts about him on the air (“All he had to do was keep his mouth shut”). The ex-president also insisted that his posts had gone viral, not Kimmel’s on-air response to them: “Isn’t it past your jail time?”“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” Kimmel said on Monday. “I mean, Donald Trump has said I’m not talented so many times, Eric is starting to get jealous.””What he doesn’t realize is that I love this. I love that this bothered him so much. I love that Fox picked a news guy nobody knows to interview him, and I especially love when he tries to spin the fact that everyone was laughing at him into a positive.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Barbie was laughing at you. Not only were they laughing at you on Oscar Sunday, there are now dozens of ‘Past Your Jail Time’ shirts for sale. There are mugs. There are tank tops. There is an ‘Isn’t It Past Your Jail Time’ backpack. People are writing it outside the Trump Hotel. There are billboards. There are billboards in Pennsylvania, in Florida, and there are a lot more to come.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But if only I’d kept my mouth shut. Imagine him telling anyone they should’ve kept their mouth shut? I mean, that should be on his tombstone: ‘Should have kept his mouth shut.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (His Word Is His Bond Edition)“Trump’s lawyers today told the court they can’t find anyone to put up the $454 million bond he needs to cover what he owes the state of New York. They say they approached around 30 bond companies and none of them would do business — gee, I wonder why.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“In his defense, how is a billionaire ever supposed to come up with half a billion dollars, you know?” — JIMMY FALLON“Can you imagine that call? ‘Hi, we represent Donald Trump. We were wondering if you could — hello?’ I mean, who would have ever guessed that a hard-earned reputation for not paying your bills would make it difficult to get credit?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump is pretty desperate for the money. Right now, if you go on Airbnb, you can rent Trump Tower, Mar-a-Lago and Eric.” — JIMMY FALLON“And what’s the problem, anyway? Didn’t you say Mar-a-Lago is worth at least $1.8 billion? Just get a reverse mortgage on that. I’m sure Tom Selleck could help you.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Isn’t Shocked to See Trump Back in Court

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      ”What’s still a mystery is why a bunch of top secret documents were taken by a president who, by all accounts, does not read,” Jimmy Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Another Day in CourtFormer President Donald Trump appeared in a Florida courtroom on Thursday, where a federal judge rejected his motion to dismiss charges of mishandling classified documents against him.“The fun thing about these hearings is you don’t know if Trump is going to show up,” Jimmy Kimmel said. “He doesn’t have to come, but he sometimes — it’s like when you go on a boat, sometimes you see a whale, sometimes you don’t.”“Even when he’s not required to be there, just scowling at the defense table, storming out of the courtroom, and holding impromptu press conferences while he’s penned in by barricades like a balloon before the start of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.” — SETH MEYERS“You’re not supposed to love being in court this much. The only person I can think of who spent this much time in court is Judge Judy, and look how mad she is.” — SETH MEYERS“This is a historic case. Not only is it the first time a former president has been charged with illegally removing and withholding classified documents; it’s also the first time a former president used classified documents to decorate his bathroom.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump claims the documents were his to do with as he pleased. But his claim is complicated by the fact that they were not. They were not his to do with. What’s still a mystery is why a bunch of top secret documents were taken by a president who, by all accounts, does not read.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Badly Edition)“Yes, in terms of badly, Trump has been treated the badliest. Although maybe Lincoln was treated a little bit worse, what with being shot in the head and all? But I doubt he was on his deathbed saying, ‘At least I didn’t have a pee tape rumor.’” — DESI LYDIC of “The Daily Show,” on Trump saying that of all the presidents, “nobody’s been treated like Trump, in terms of badly” “Nobody’s been treated like Trump, in terms of badly, and Trump should be treated in terms of goodly.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, he said no president’s been treated worse. Yeah, even John Wilkes Booth is like, ‘Hold on.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Totally normal way to say that. Reminds me of my favorite Michael Jackson album, ‘In Terms of Badly.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Presnell interrupted Questlove and Tariq’s re-enactment of his tense moment from the “Love is Blind” reunion on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutJoy Woods, left, and Ryan Vasquez as the young adult incarnations of Allie and Noah in the musical “The Notebook” at the Gerald Schoenfeld Theater in Manhattan.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesAttendees of the new stage musical based on the 2004 movie “The Notebook” can buy a box of tissues in the lobby for $5. More

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      Late Night Tackles the U.S. House Bill That Could Ban TikTok

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      “This is like iPhone ‘Footloose,’ and there’s no Kevin Bacon to save us,” Jimmy Kimmel joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Final CountdownOn Wednesday, the House passed a bill to ban TikTok in the United States unless the app’s parent company sells it to a non-Chinese owner in the next six months.“So now, the bill goes to the Senate, which means the fate of every tweenaged TikToker is in the hands of a bunch of old white people with Hotmail accounts,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“This is a big deal. This is like iPhone ‘Footloose,’ and there’s no Kevin Bacon to save us.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But, yes, obviously, there is a problem with a Chinese app spying on Americans and feeding us propaganda. You want American apps doing that.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Well, if you guys are worried about the Chinese gathering data on Americans, wait till you find out who makes the phones.” — SETH MEYERS“Only 50 Democrats and 15 Republicans voted ‘no.’ Three-hundred fifty-two voted ‘yes,’ which almost never happens anymore. Who would have guessed that this would be the thing that brings both sides together?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I mean, Republicans voted against their own border bill because they were afraid it would make Joe Biden look good. They can’t even get it together to stand up to Vladimir Putin. But, by God, they will stand up to Charli D’Amelio and then some.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Just to give you an idea of the pull this app has, they did a poll, and half the people who use TikTok said they do believe it poses a threat to national security but they still use it and keep it on their phones. I guess at this point, what the hell, right? I mean, half the country supports a national security threat for president, might as well dance.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Well, apparently, both Democrats and Republicans are worried that China will steal the secrets of the tortilla slap.” — JIMMY FALLON“I don’t think we fully understand how crazy these kids are going to go if they kill TikTok. I mean, for teenagers today, losing TikTok is a bigger deal than losing your virginity. I’m not kidding, either. This is like taking away all of their imaginary friends at once.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Can you imagine if TikTok was banned? I mean, just picture lying down in bed and then actually going to bed, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Losing Teams Edition)“Apparently, R.F.K. Jr. is seriously considering Aaron Rodgers and Jesse Ventura as potential picks for vice president. Yep, Kennedy confirmed that Rodgers and Ventura are at the top of his list, which really makes you wonder who’s at the bottom.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yesterday, we learned that he is reportedly considering Aaron Rodgers for veep. Now that is a risky move to pick Rodgers, because if we’ve learned one thing, it’s that the minute he starts running, he’s going to snap his Achilles’.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Stephen Colbert Slams Former Special Counsel’s Conclusions

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      Colbert objected to Robert K. Hur calling President Biden a “well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory” in a report on the handling of classified documents.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Thanks for the MemoriesOn Tuesday, the former special counsel Robert K. Hur testified before the House Judiciary Committee, answering questions about his investigation into President Biden’s handling of classified documents. In his report, Hur referred to Biden as a “well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory.”“Yes, Biden has been dangerously forgetful, unlike Trump, who always remembers that he’s running against Obama, and unopposed, at that, since Nancy Pelosi dropped out,” Stephen Colbert said on his show Tuesday night.“Democrats were, like, ‘Well, that five days of momentum from the State of the Union was fun while it lasted.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That kind of assessment is sort of outside the normal job description of a special counsel. It’d be like your doctor saying, ‘Well, we ran some tests, Mr. Johnson, and your cholesterol looks very good, but I am worried about how ugly you are. I’m going to write you a prescription for bag over your head. Unlimited refills.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Hur refused to engage in hypotheticals, but today, he did release the full transcript of his interviews with the president, and, what do you know? It’s not as ‘old-man-forgets-a-lot’ as his summary made it out to be. At one point, Hur even complimented Biden’s memory, specifically saying: ‘You appear to have a photographic understanding and recall.’ So the exact opposite of his report summary. At this point, I’m worried about Hur’s cognitive ability. Did anyone ask him to identify a whale?’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bye-Bye, TikTok Edition)“Angry TikTok users are reportedly calling congressional offices ahead of the week’s vote on a bipartisan bill that would ban the platform. Well, it’s more mature than what angry Facebook users did.” — SETH MEYERS, referring to Jan. 6“Banning one of the most popular social media apps in the entire world would set a huge precedent and have a massive impact on American life. Without TikTok, where else would I learn about actual trends like cooking chicken in NyQuil or future trends like calling the ambulance after someone cooks chicken in NyQuil?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The bill is a response to fears that TikTok’s owner company, ByteDance, could share user data, such as browsing history, location and biometric identifiers, with China’s authoritarian government. Oh, God. China could spy on us or brainwash our youth with propaganda, or, worst of all, put us on a mailing list.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Explains His Run-In (Sort of) With Trump at the Oscars

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      Why did Donald Trump go online during the Oscars to criticize Kimmel’s performance as host? Kimmel thinks he was upset because no one had mentioned his name. Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.OscarworthyFresh from hosting the Oscars on Sunday, Jimmy Kimmel detailed on Monday night how he’d come to poke fun in real time at one viewer: Donald Trump, who posted criticism of Kimmel’s performance during the broadcast. (“Isn’t it past your jail time?” Kimmel asked the ex-president from the stage.) “We were backstage, the show was almost over, and one of our writers was like, ‘Hey, look at this,’ and I was like, well, to quote Al Pacino, ‘Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in,’ and I had to read it,” Kimmel said.“Donald Trump — you remember that guy? He used to be, yeah — wrote ‘Has there ever been a worse host than Jimmy Kimmel at the Oscars? His opening was that of a less-than-average person trying too hard to be something which he is not and never can be.’ This was also his wedding toast to his son Eric, by the way.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So after the show, almost everyone I ran into was asking me, ‘Was that real? Did Donald Trump really?’ It’s like yeah, of course, it was real. And it kind of tells you all you need know about Donald Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He wrote this because he was upset I didn’t mention him on the show, and no one mentioned him on the show. He wasn’t getting any attention. He couldn’t stand it. And so then the Adderall McFlurry kicked in, and he went right on.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Funny — we had John Cena onstage naked, and somehow Trump still managed to be the biggest [expletive] of the night.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Pushing the Envelope Edition)“‘Oppenheimer’ was the big winner, taking home seven awards, including Best Picture, while the award for Most Paused Picture went to John Cena.” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean, God bless, John. I could never do something like that. If I did, I’d win the Oscar for Best Short.” — JIMMY FALLON“Good thing he held onto that card, ’cause we might have seen his Maestro, if you know what I’m saying? His Poor Thing, if you catch my drift.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They kept demanding that we make the envelope bigger and bigger, which, well, first, I have to say congratulations to John Cena, the commotion you caused. Very rarely does an idea literally push the envelope, and this one did.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingKristen Stewart defended her racy Rolling Stone cover while on Monday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe journalist Jane Marie will discuss her new book “Selling the Dream: The Billion-Dollar Industry Bankrupting Americans” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This Out“I still like looking at the world around me with softness and an open heart,” Adrianne Lenker said.Erinn Springer for The New York TimesThe singer-songwriter Adrianne Lenker of Big Thief fame projects resilience on her fifth solo album, Bright Future. More

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      ‘Barbenheimer,’ and an Early Start, Boost Oscar Ratings to 4-Year High

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      ABC’s telecast of the 96th Academy Awards on Sunday drew 19.5 million viewers, according to Nielsen.The comeback of live event TV continues.ABC’s telecast of the 96th Academy Awards on Sunday drew 19.5 million viewers, hitting a four-year viewership high, according to Nielsen. The live TV audience was up from last year’s 18.8 million, the third consecutive year that Oscar viewership has grown.The ratings report will prompt cheers at ABC and the academy, which bumped the start of the venerable awards ceremony to 7 p.m. Eastern, an hour earlier than usual, in the hopes that more viewers would stick around through the final categories.That approach appeared to pay dividends, as did the numerous nominations for the big box office hits “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer” — a change from recent years when more obscure films dominated the ceremony. Jimmy Kimmel also received warm reviews in his fourth outing as host, leaving him one away from matching another late-night star who moonlighted at the Oscars, Johnny Carson.Nielsen said that Sunday’s Oscars were the most-watched network awards show since February 2020, extending a recent trend where viewer interest has perked up for the kind of mass cultural events that struggled during the pandemic.In February, 16.9 million people watched the Grammy Awards, a 34 percent increase from last year. Viewership of the Golden Globes in January rose 50 percent compared with a year ago. The Super Bowl between the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco 49ers beat ratings records with an audience of 123.7 million. Even ratings for the 2023 Tony Awards, traditionally the least-viewed of the “EGOT” quartet, rose modestly.At Sunday’s Oscars, Billie Eilish sang her pop ballad “What Am I Made For?” and Ryan Gosling delivered a cheeky yet dedicated performance of “I’m Just Ken.” The choreography, which drew on Busby Berkeley films and the Marilyn Monroe musical “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes,” was complemented by a cameo by the thrash-rock guitarist Slash and a bevy of supporting Kens from “Barbie,” including Simu Liu.ABC, which has the broadcast rights to the Oscars through 2028, said that it had sold out its advertising inventory for Sunday’s event. The network did not share prices, but advertising executives said ABC had charged $1.7 million to $2.2 million for a 30-second spot, up slightly from last year. Some of the ads turned up in the broadcast itself, like a plug for Don Julio tequila, in which Guillermo Rodriguez, a Kimmel sidekick, offered the beverage to celebrities in the audience.In 2021, for a stripped-down pandemic Oscars held in a Los Angeles train station, only 10.4 million people tuned in. Viewership rose in 2022 to 16.6 million people, in part because of the bizarre spectacle of Will Smith slapping Chris Rock.Still, there is no question that TV viewing habits have changed. Before 2018, the Oscars telecast had never dropped below 32 million viewers. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Jabs Back at Trump After His Oscars Post on Truth Social

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      Former President Donald J. Trump couldn’t help himself. And Jimmy Kimmel couldn’t resist either. So the Oscars wound to a close on a political note.Kimmel used some of his final stage time as host to read, to millions of Americans watching at home, a post published on Truth Social by Trump. (And yes, he really did post it.)Drawing out his phone onstage, Kimmel decided to share what he called “a review.”“Has there ever been a worse host than Jimmy Kimmel at the Oscars,” Kimmel said, reading part of Trump’s post, which included a disparaging nickname for the ABC host George Stephanopoulos.“His opening was that of a less than average person trying too hard to be something which he is not, and never can be,” Kimmel continued. “Get rid of Kimmel and perhaps replace him with another washed up, but cheap, ABC ‘talent,’ George Slopanopoulos. He would make everybody on stage look bigger, stronger, and more glamorous.”“Blah, blah, blah,” Kimmel said. “Make America great again.”After asking the audience, “See if you can guess which former president just posted that?” Kimmel offered one final jab, expressing surprise that Trump had stayed up to watch the telecast.“Isn’t it past your jail time?” he said. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Opens with Quips and a Salute to Film Crews in Oscars Monologue

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      On Sunday, Jimmy Kimmel returned to host his fourth Academy Awards, opening with a monologue that riffed on many of last year’s blockbuster movies, particularly “Oppenheimer” and “Barbie,” and poked fun at Hollywood’s biggest stars, including a string of jokes about Robert Downey Jr.’s past drug use.After a traditional montage of nominated films, Kimmel was introduced to the audience in a video clip of him sitting at a bus stop beside Margot Robbie, the star of “Barbie.”“You’re so beautiful,” Robbie told him in the clip. “I know,” he said. “I haven’t eaten in three weeks. I’m still hungry. I have to host the Oscars.”He began his monologue by mentioning the monthslong strikes that paused most film and television production, and he saluted the actors and writers who pushed for a new deal with Hollywood studios.“As a result, actors no longer have to worry about getting replaced by A.I.,” he said. “Thanks to this historic agreement, actors are now able to go back to worrying about being replaced by younger, more attractive people.”Kimmel also cracked jokes about the “Anatomy of a Fall” dog Messi, the lengthy run time of “Killers of the Flower Moon” and the perceived snub of Greta Gerwig, who was not nominated for best director.“I know you’re clapping but you’re the ones who didn’t vote for her,” he told the audience. More