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      Seth Meyers Slams Trump’s $50 Million Fund-raiser

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      Meyers said the dinner menu at a Palm Beach campaign event for Donald Trump “had so many foreign words, I’m surprised he didn’t have it deported.” Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Not One to Exaggerate’Donald Trump made an appearance at a campaign fund-raiser held by a billionaire donor, John Paulson, in his Palm Beach home on Saturday. The Trump campaign said it raised more than $50 million.The former first lady Melania Trump was also in attendance, where, Seth Meyers joked, “she finally got to meet an actual billionaire.”“And just to give you an idea of how elite this fund-raiser was, check out the food they served: ‘The evening’s menu included an endive and frisée salad, filet au poivre, and pavlova with fresh berries for dessert.’ That menu had so many foreign words, I’m surprised he didn’t have it deported.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump claims he raked in $50 million Saturday night, which seems high, but he’s not one to exaggerate.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“While speaking at his Palm Beach fund-raiser over the weekend, former President Trump complained that immigrants aren’t coming to the U.S. from ‘nice’ countries like Denmark, Switzerland or Norway. And then, at the end, added, ‘Oh, Slovenia!’” — SETH MEYERS“Maybe because people don’t tend to flee one of the happiest countries on Earth.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Whenever Trump says ‘nice,’ he means ‘white.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Eclipse Edition)“The sun and the moon did the thing that everyone’s been saying they were going to do for centuries now. The path got totalitied, and now both planets will go back to years of ignoring each other before they inevitably hook up again. Textbook toxic relationship.” — JON STEWART“It was quite a sight, and if you’re excited about the eclipse and the sky turning totally black, wait ’til you hear about nighttime.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, all the news stations had nonstop coverage, but I think CNN messed up by not having Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper count down to the blackout while getting blacked out.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, this is the day you don’t look directly at the sun. Or as one guy put it, [imitating Trump] ‘It’s very easy to do.’” — JIMMY FALLON“And if you missed the eclipse, don’t worry; there are currently two billion videos of it on Instagram.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJon Stewart laid into American leaders for continuing to support Israel on Monday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightConan O’Brien, who had a brief stint as the “Tonight Show” host almost 15 years ago, will return as a guest on Tuesday.Also, Check This OutThe final episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” found Larry David on trial.John Johnson/HBOThe series finale of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” found Larry David in familiar territory. More

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      Stephen Colbert Says Trump’s ‘April Trials Bring Me Smiles’

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      “The Late Show” host changed up the adage about spring after Donald Trump had a bad day in court.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘April Trials Bring Me Smiles’Former President Donald Trump has suffered setbacks in court the last few days, including a ruling against him on Thursday in his classified documents case.Stephen Colbert said he’s changing up the “April showers” adage: “Because from now on, it’s April trials bring me smiles.”Late night hosts were also thrilled that, on Wednesday, the judge in Trump’s Manhattan criminal trial refused his proposed delay until after the Supreme Court rules on whether he is immune from prosecution in another case.“Starting April 15, we get to see Donald Trump having to see Stormy Daniels testify about having to see Donald Trump naked.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“[imitating lawyer] Your honor, for reasons that will be all too apparent during her testimony, I’d like to submit into evidence this baby Bella mushroom.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Don Provolone has a long list of charges against him, but I feel like we all want to see him taken down by the porn star one, right? I mean, that’s the fun one. Grab him by the mushroom, Stormy!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“April 15’s going to be a big day for Donald Trump. It’s the first time in history a former president will be held accountable for cheating on his taxes and his wife the same day.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Eclipse Edition)“Next Monday, a solar eclipse will totally block out the sun over parts of America, and we’re all looking forward to having one brief moment when you can look up into the sky and see something besides the door of a Boeing airplane plummeting to the ground.” — DESI LYDIC, guest host of “The Daily Show”“But it’s not just a moment for humans. An eclipse offers a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for Rudy Giuliani to come out and feed during the day.” — DESI LYDIC“It’s really exciting because we haven’t had total darkness outside since November through March.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe stand-up comedian Alex Edelman discussed his new HBO special, “Just for Us,” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutA scene from the documentary “Kim’s Video,” directed by David Redmon and Ashley Sabin.Drafthouse FilmsA new documentary about Kim’s Video tracks a beloved movie collection from downtown New York City to small-town Italy. More

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      Late Night Rebuts Trump’s Call for ‘Christian Visibility Day’

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      “This is America, buddy. Every day is ‘Christian Visibility Day,’” Desi Lydic said on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Finally, a Christian Holiday We Can Celebrate’During a rally in Wisconsin on Tuesday, former President Donald Trump criticized President Biden for acknowledging Transgender Day of Visibility, which is observed every March 31. This year, that also happened to be Easter Sunday. Trump said he wanted Election Day, on Nov. 5, to be “Christian Visibility Day.”“This is America, buddy. Every day is ‘Christian Visibility Day,’” Desi Lydic said on “The Daily Show.”“Yes, finally, a Christian holiday we can celebrate.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Former President Trump yesterday criticized President Biden for proclaiming Easter Sunday as Transgender Day of Visibility and said, ‘Such total disrespect to Christians.’ And if you’re going to disrespect Christians, you might as well make some money off it.” — SETH MEYERS“I love that he’s somehow the Christian candidate. Trump — not only does he not go to church, he didn’t even go to church on Easter Sunday.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yes, by total coincidence, Trans Visibility Day happened to fall on Easter this year. Which seemed like, I don’t know, a good fit to me. I mean, Jesus did identify as the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. So, live your truth, queen!” — DESI LYDIC“Trump aside, I have a question for the actual religious conservatives: Why are you so upset about this? Trans Visibility Day had no effect on your Easter. Nobody was at church like, ‘Well, we were going to celebrate the Resurrection, but instead, everyone line up for your gender reassignment surgery. Please, leave your penis in the collection basket.’” — DESI LYDIC“And, for what it’s worth, there’s a false premise at the heart of this entire controversy, which is that there’s even a conflict between trans people and Christianity to begin with. There isn’t. In fact, the Bible doesn’t say anything about trans people. It does, however, say to love thy neighbor and to not judge other people, and perhaps the most famous of Bible verses, ‘Please do not sell me for $59.99 to pay off your rape fines. Amen.’” — DESI LYDICThe Punchiest Punchlines (It’s Moon O’Clock Somewhere Edition)“We have just learned that the White House has directed NASA to create a time standard for the moon. Though, obviously, they’re going to need two: Moon Standard and Moonlight Savings Time.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The moon is getting its own time zone because scientists need a time-keeping benchmark for lunar spacecraft and satellites that require extreme precision for their missions. But it’s also going to be great for anyone who needs an excuse to day drink. Hey, it’s Moon O’Clock somewhere.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“This sounds like a fake project Trump would have given Mike Pence to keep him busy.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Stephen Colbert Chides Trump for Ignoring Expanded Gag Order

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      Colbert said that after the order was amended, the former president “paused, listened to his critics and launched another attack on the judge’s daughter, this time with photos.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Friends and Family Ban’The judge overseeing former President Donald Trump’s criminal trial over a hush-money payment to a porn star expanded his gag order on Monday.Stephen Colbert said the expanded order made sense: “Because for me, the order goes ‘Think about Trump, then gag.’”“Specifically, the judge expanded the order to bar Trump from attacking his family members because last week, Trump went after the judge’s daughter on Truth Social, and he got a lot of heat for this despicable personal attack. So he paused, listened to his critics, and launched another attack on the judge’s daughter, this time with photos.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The D.A. and the judge are still fair targets for Trump, but the new order does now cover their families. ‘[imitating Trump] Challenge accepted.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Donald Trump thinks a gag order is what Melania does when she sees him get out of the hot tub.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He signed him up for the friends and family ban.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump has been going after the judge’s daughter, which is just nuts. So the judge ordered him to stop and he declined. This morning, he did it again — he wrote a whole diatribe on Truth Social, and guess what happened to him? Nothing, nothing happened again. Are laws real? Because I’ve been stupidly following them my whole life now, and it doesn’t seem to matter.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Repo Man Edition)“Donald Trump pulled a rabbit out of his MAGA hat. He managed to post that $175 million bond he couldn’t get. He got one courtesy of the Knight Specialty Insurance Company, which I’m guessing did not Google the phrase ‘Who is Donald Trump?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Don Hankey, he sells loans to people with less than exceptional credit. Forbes said his company repossesses about 250 cars a day. Our former president got a loan from a repo man.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know their slogan: ‘Turned down by the banky? Don’t get so cranky. Call me, Don Hankey. You’ll say ‘Why, thanky!’ Don, good luck with the porn star spanky.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingThe guest host Desi Lydic highlighted the newfound popularity of women’s basketball on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJerrod Carmichael will talk about his new HBO reality show on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThe conductor Klaus Mäkela.Vincent Tullo for The New York TimesAt 28, the Chicago Symphony’s new conductor, Klaus Mäkelä, is the youngest music director to lead a top American ensemble. More

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      Late Night Takes Stock of Donald Trump’s Tanking Media Company

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      Jimmy Fallon joked that “Truth Social stock tanked so fast, they’re changing the name to Twitter.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Trump’s Stock SinksShares of Trump Media & Technology Group, the owner of Truth Social, tanked on Monday. That cut the value of Donald Trump’s majority share to about $3.7 billion, down from its peak of $6 billion last week.“Yeah, Truth Social stock tanked so fast, they’re changing the name to Twitter,” Jimmy Fallon joked.“When he heard another one of his businesses was tanking, Trump was, like, ‘[imitating Trump] They blow up so fast.’” — JIMMY FALLON“As a result of the stock tanking, Trump’s net worth dropped $2 billion. Trump’s so panicked, he’s now selling copies of the Torah.” — JIMMY FALLON“How could that be? They have such a solid business model: Old rapist yells at Easter.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“What a shock that the stock price of a company with no profits or success of any kind is falling. The way things are going, Trump is going to have to start selling a deluxe Bible with a dictionary attached.” — SETH MEYERS“He posted 70 times on Easter — what’s in the baskets at the Trump family Easter egg hunt, Cadbury meth eggs?” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Easter Egg Roll Edition)“The White House hosted the 144th annual Easter egg roll today, and about 40,000 people were expected to participate. Forty thousand! But, then again, where else can you get free eggs?” — SETH MEYERS“Forty thousand, or as the hands that laid those eggs put it, ‘An entire generation lost, and for what?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s the one day of the year where Joe Biden says, ‘You kids get on my lawn!’ And he did.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Biden came out and said, ‘Look, I know I’m mentally stable, but everyone else can see this six-foot bunny next to me, right?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Then the president handed out baskets filled with his two favorite Easter treats, rhubarb and Polident, and a good time was had by all.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Donald Trump also had a beautiful Easter message. April fools!” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJon Stewart explored the promise of A.I. on Monday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightJames Cordon will return to late night, this time as a guest, on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This Out“She wanted more from life, and, ultimately, life lost interest in her,” the director Rachel Chavkin said of the painter Tamara de Lempicka, whose artistic reputation remains mixed.Bettmann via, Getty ImagesA new biographical musical about the unsung artist Tamara de Lempicka opens on April 14. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Calls Trump’s V.P. Selection Process ‘The MAGA-pprentice’

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      Kimmel’s advice to Donald Trump’s potential running mates: “If he asks you to run, run!” Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The MAGA-pprentice’In his monologue on Thursday, Jimmy Kimmel talked about the speculation over who Donald Trump’s running mate will be. Supposedly, Trump plans to audition potential candidates at campaign rallies. “He’s turning this into ‘The MAGA-pprentice,’” Kimmel said.“The finalists for V.P. include Elise Stefanik, Tim Scott, Tulsi Gabbard and Dr. Ben Carson, even though Dr. Ben Carson died six years ago.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ben Carson is literally a sleeper candidate. Can you imagine Vice President Carson sitting behind Trump at the State of the Union? This is a guy who falls asleep standing up.” — JIMMY KIMMELTrump is also said to be considering Senator Marco Rubio of Florida, despite the many insults the two have thrown at each other in the past. Kimmel found it funny that Rubio now says it would be an honor for anyone to be offered the position.“Oh, poor little Marco, he thinks he’s different,” Kimmel said. “He’s thinking, ‘I’m the one who’s going to ride this bull.’ No, no, you will wind up in the mud with all the other rodeo clowns.”“Think about all the people who thought they could domesticate Donald Trump: Chris Christie, Mitt Romney, Jeff Sessions, Kevin McCarthy, Rudy Giuliani, Ted Cruz, Ron DeSantis, Mike Pence, all his wives. I mean, you think this won’t be you, too? Destroying people like you — it’s the only thing Donald Trump is good at. If he asks you to run, run! Get those little legs moving like a toddler going into a Chuck E. Cheese.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Suggests Trump Take a Sip of His Own Medicine

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      “If Donald Trump wants immunity, he should drink bleach like he told us to do when we wanted immunity,” Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Has He Tried Bleach?On Tuesday, Donald Trump’s lawyers asked the Supreme Court to rule that he has absolute immunity from criminal charges stemming from his attempts to subvert the 2020 election.On Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel joked that Trump “also wants immunity from chlamydia, just in case.”“His lawyers told the court, ‘Denial of criminal immunity would incapacitate every future president with de facto blackmail and extortion while in office and condemn him to years of post-office trauma at the hands of political opponents.’ Which sounds bad, right? And yet somehow, we’ve had 44 presidents before him — that never happened to any of them except for this one guy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“A president could make some seriously crazy stuff happen. If you’re dumb and arrogant, you commit the crimes yourself on television, then you have a problem. Then you have to beg the Supreme Court for something preposterous, like immunity. But if Donald Trump wants immunity, he should drink bleach like he told us to do when we wanted immunity.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Turns out the guy who bragged to Billy Bush he can do whatever he wants thinks he should be allowed to do whatever he wants.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (March Madness Edition)“My hope is that we get all the madness out in March, so we don’t have any left for November.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Gonzaga tomorrow plays McNeese State, which, not only do I not believe Gonzaga is a real place, I don’t think there’s any such place as McNeese State, either. I know for a fact there are 50 states, and McNeese is not one of them, OK? This is a game between two imaginary teams they’re putting on. The A.I. has finally taken over.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Today, President Biden posted his bracket, and he picked a favorite, UConn, to repeat as national champions. Yeah, Biden relates to UConn ’cause they both have a 38 percent chance of winning again.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Biden has UConn, Houston, North Carolina and Tennessee in his Final Four, while Trump was able to identify all the mascots: [imitating Trump] ‘I see the duck, the bear, the lion.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Trump didn’t fill out a bracket ’cause he doesn’t have the 10 bucks to join the pool.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingKristen Wiig used an opera singer to answer Jimmy Fallon’s interview questions on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe “Shirley” star Regina King will appear on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutA letter from Eric Clapton to Pattie Boyd, who inspired his song “Layla.” It begins, “Dearest L.”Christie’s Images Ltd.Pattie Boyd, who was at the center of one of rock’s most mythic love triangles, is auctioning love letters that Eric Clapton wrote her while she was married to George Harrison. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Thinks Hiring an Ex-Con Is the Right Move for Trump

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      Employing Paul Manafort, a former campaign adviser who was convicted of fraud, “will make Trump seem less fraudy by comparison,” the “Tonight Show” host reasoned.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Worst Best People’Donald Trump is said to be considering a new hire: Paul Manafort, one of his former campaign advisers, who went to prison for tax and bank fraud (and was pardoned by Trump in 2020). News outlets reported that he was in talks about helping with the Republican National Convention.On Tuesday’s “Tonight Show,” Jimmy Fallon said Trump’s team was hoping that “hiring someone who has been convicted of fraud will make Trump seem less fraudy by comparison.”“I think it’s actually a good idea. Trump needs an adviser like Paul Manafort to tell him not to hire guys like Paul Manafort.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump is bringing back all the worst best people.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump reportedly wants Manafort to help oversee the Republican National Convention, which I’m surprised he can do because, you know, when Manafort was being sentenced, he claimed he had too many medical problems to go to prison. But I guess he magically healed up. And who better to run your election campaign than a man who isn’t allowed to vote in that election?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Make America Kate Again Edition)“This week in the United States, there have been more Google searches for Kate Middleton than for Joe Biden or Donald Trump. We finally did it — we made America Kate again.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You could tell it’s the first day of spring ’cause, according to the royal family, Kate Middleton just came out of hibernation.” — JIMMY FALLON“Kate has not been seen in public since she had surgery back in January, which of course led to all sorts of rumors about her whereabouts and well-being. Everyone’s putting together clues to find the princess — it’s like an international game of ‘Zelda’ is happening right now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Maybe she got a bad perm and is waiting for her hair to grow out, you know?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This shows you how different it is in the U.K. Kate goes missing for a few weeks, the whole country goes berserk. Meanwhile, we haven’t seen Melania since 2021.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe hip-hop mogul Dr. Dre was joined by Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent and Eminem for his first late-night appearance in 30 years on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightKristen Wiig will appear on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutMost of the tracks on Shakira’s new album deal with romantic ups and (mostly) downs, honed into crisp, tuneful pop structures.Jose Breton/Invision, vía Associated PressShakira says her first album in seven years, “Las Mujeres Ya No Lloran,” helped her transform “pain into productivity.” More