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      Late Night Slams Vivek Ramaswamy’s Conspiracy Theories

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      The candidate trumpeted several during the latest G.O.P. debate, “including the far-out idea that Vivek Ramaswamy could become president,” Seth Meyers joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.America’s Next Top Conspiracy TheoristDuring Wednesday night’s Republican debate, Vivek Ramaswamy rattled off several conspiracy theories — “including the far-out idea that Vivek Ramaswamy could become president,” Seth Meyers joked on Thursday.“I will say, if there’s one service anyone can perform at these stupid debates, it’s tearing Vivek Ramaswamy to shreds. I mean, allow me to borrow the parlance of my outer borough brethren when I say ‘This [expletive] guy!’” — SETH MEYERS“But the winner of the Dangerously Detached From Reality Award went to Vivek Ramaswamy, who rattled off a litany of ludicrous conspiracy theories in his ongoing effort to win over the divorced-timeshare-salesman-with-an-Adderall-addiction vote.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This dude is up here spewing every conspiracy in the book: 9/11, stolen election, replacement theory. He is right about Jan. 6 being an inside job, though. I mean, the whole thing was orchestrated by the president — you can’t get more inside than that.” — CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD, guest host of “The Daily Show”“I didn’t want them to cut him off — I want to know where Bigfoot lives!” — CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD“A couple months ago, I’d never even heard of Vivek Ramaswamy, and I’m hoping we can go back to that.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Second-Place Debate Edition)“Last night in Alabama, four candidates took the stage for another Republican presidential debate. Yep, the big winners from the night were Nikki Haley, Chris Christie and everyone who decided not to watch.” — JIMMY FALLON“Last night was the fourth Republican debate. At this point, it’s kind of like ‘Indiana Jones’ movies: Three was enough.” — JIMMY FALLON“Watching these people debate without Trump is like watching the Jets play each other.” — SETH MEYERS“Why should I act like any of these people are actually running against Donald Trump when they won’t even act like they’re running against Donald Trump? They spent the whole debate fighting with each other like pigeons fighting over a French fry in the parking lot of a restaurant that is owned by a much bigger pigeon.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel pranked George Santos by sending fake Cameo requests and seeing if the former congressman would follow through with them.Also, Check This OutEmma Stone and Mark Ruffalo in “Poor Things.”Atsushi Nishijima/Searchlight PicturesYorgos Lanthimos’s new film, “Poor Things,” is a phantasmagoric take on the classic Frankenstein story starring Emma Stone, Mark Ruffalo and Willem Dafoe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Is Perfectly Prepared to Believe Trump Will Be a Dictator

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      Kimmel skewered the former president for telling Sean Hannity he would act like a dictator on his first day in office if elected again.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Swing and a MissIn a Fox News town hall with Donald Trump on Tuesday night, Sean Hannity asked the former president if he planned to abuse power if elected to a second term. Trump declined twice to give an outright denial, saying he wouldn’t be a dictator, “except for Day 1.”Jimmy Kimmel called Trump “Scammy Sosa” on Wednesday, saying that Trump “somehow managed to swing and miss at the softest of all balls.”“I’m tired of these fake questions, like, ‘Will you become a dictator?’ Of course, he’s going to become — he said he’s going to become a dictator. Basically, in November, we’re going to be voting on whether we will ever vote again.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Here we go again, OK? Once again, Trump is telling us exactly what he is going to do, and no one’s believing him. You Trump supporters are all in my mentions with your clown emojis saying, ‘You Democratic shill! You’re overreacting. Trump’s not a dictator!’ He is telling you, OK? And, no, it doesn’t make it any better that he says he will just be a dictator for one day.” — CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD“All kidding aside, how about Sean Hannity having to squeeze him to say he won’t be a dictator? I mean, how clear does Trump have to make it? Hannity was like, ‘Eh, want to take another stab at that one, bro?’ ‘Nope!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And by the way, I can’t believe I have to say this, but ‘Are you going to be a dictator?’ is not a normal question you should have to ask a presidential candidate. If you have to ask your babysitter, ‘Are you going to eat my kids?’, it doesn’t matter what their answer is. The fact that you needed to ask them means you should get another babysitter.” — CHARLAMAGNE THA GODThe Punchiest Punchlines (On Taylor Time Edition)“Time magazine today named their person of the year for 2023, and that person is Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift beat out Vladimir Putin, the president of China and King Charles. And, I don’t know, it makes sense — those guys are terrible singers.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The editor in chief for Time said Taylor Swift is ‘the rare person who is both the writer and hero of her own story.’ And also, he said, ‘We really wanted to sell some magazines this year.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Taylor was like, ‘Of all the honors I’ve had today, this is definitely in the Top 50.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Time actually released multiple covers of Taylor, including this one where she’s posing with her cat. Most cats think they’re better than you, but that cat knows it’s better than you.” — JIMMY FALLON“Taylor Swift is Time’s person of the year, which is terrible news for Taylor Swift. Have you seen how the past few winners of this are doing? Last year, Zelensky won — how’s Ukraine doing now? Year before that, Elon Musk got the cover — how’s Twitter doing now? Year before that, Biden and Kamala got the cover — enough said! Forget Travis Kelce: if this pattern keeps up, next year, Taylor Swift is going to be dating the punter for the New York Jets.” — CHARLAMAGNE THA GOD“Anyway, congratulations to Taylor. Now, maybe people will finally start talking about her.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth Watching“The Daily Show” entered the “RamaVerse” with the Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightOlivia Rodrigo will sit down with Jimmy Fallon on Thursday before her return to “Saturday Night Live” this weekend.Also, Check This OutFrom left, Carroll O’Connor as Archie Bunker, Rob Reiner as Mike Stivic and Sally Struthers as Gloria Bunker Stivic in Norman Lear’s “All in the Family.” CBS, via Getty ImagesRob Reiner remembered his friend, the television pioneer Norman Lear, whom he called “a real champion of America.” More

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      Late Night Foresees a Limited Audience for Fourth G.O.P. Debate

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      Wednesday’s debate will air on platforms like NewsNation and the CW. “So, in other words, look for it wherever you get your computer viruses,” Seth Meyers joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Limited AudienceThe fourth Republican presidential primary debate will air Wednesday night on select platforms, such as NewsNation, Rumble and the CW.“So, in other words, look for it wherever you get your computer viruses,” Seth Meyers joked on Tuesday.“And the debate will air on the CW network and NewsNation. So if you want to know how good a chance these candidates have, the debate is airing on the CW network and NewsNation.” — JIMMY FALLON“At this point, watching these debates is like watching a middle school play — it doesn’t really matter, you just hope that they’re having fun up there.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Mariah is Shaking Edition)“The new No. 1 song in the United States, according to the Billboard Hot 100, is 65 years old. ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’ by Brenda Lee, which was released in 1958, is at the top of the charts for the very first time. Brenda Lee was 13 when she recorded the song, which is crazy. A 13-year-old named Brenda? It’s insane.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s never been No. 1 before, but for whatever reason it is now, and now Brenda Lee has a No. 1 hit at 78 years old. It’s nuts. I mean, between the president, the Golden Bachelor, and now Brenda Lee, old people are hotter than ever.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yep, Brenda’s having a moment. Not only does she have the No. 1 song, today, she was seen holding hands with Travis Kelce.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Brenda Lee’s ‘Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree’ has hit No. 1. Meanwhile, Mariah Carey spent the day cutting letters out of magazines: ‘Back off, B.’” — JIMMY FALLON“People are loving something that’s been around for over six decades. This is actually the best news Joe Biden’s had in years.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingRobin Thede, who appears in the holiday movie “Candy Cane Lane,” touched on Black Santa and the legacy of her Emmy-winning series, “A Black Lady Sketch Show,” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightMahershala Ali, a star in “Leave the World Behind,” will appear on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutRooney Mara and Cate Blanchett in “Carol.”Wilson Webb/The Weinstein CompanyFrom “Eyes Wide Shut” to “Carol,” classic holiday films don’t always center on Christmas. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Weighs in on Trump’s Health Report

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      The “Tonight Show” host questioned the checkup results, saying that “Trump’s the only guy who gets his cardio in by storming out of courtrooms.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Picture of HealthOn Monday, former President Donald Trump released a statement from his doctor that declared him to be in “excellent health.” The vague report declared that Trump had lost weight through “an improved diet and daily physical activity” and that his “physical exams were well within the normal range and his cognitive exams were exceptional.”Jimmy Fallon questioned the report on Tuesday, joking that “Trump’s the only guy who gets his cardio in by storming out of courtrooms.”“[pretending to read the note] Donald is in excellent health, the most health a man can ever have, that I can tell you. Doctor.” — JIMMY FALLON“In a newly released letter, former President Trump’s physician said his overall health is excellent and his physical exams are within normal range. But take that with a grain of salt, because the letter also said his coat is shiny and he’s negative for heartworms.” — SETH MEYERS“Sure, we all know Donald Trump is the picture of health — specifically, the “before” picture.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They also said that Trump’s cognitive exams were exceptional. All I know is when your friend is, like, ‘Guys, I took a cognitive exam, and everything’s fine,’ that usually means the opposite.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Remixed Edition)“During the White House turkey pardon yesterday, President Biden appeared to mix up Taylor Swift and Britney Spears, and, just like that, lost 30 million votes.” — SETH MEYERS“Wow, that’s almost as bad as the time former President Trump called Tim Cook ‘Tim Apple,’ thought Frederick Douglass was alive, called Second Corinthians ‘Two Corinthians,’ called Kevin McCarthy ‘Steve,’ called Paul Ryan ‘Ron,’ walked out of an executive order ceremony after forgetting to sign an executive order, and suggested injecting bleach to kill Covid.” — SETH MEYERS“Fortunately for all of us, Biden apologized immediately. Here’s what he said. He said, ‘I want to apologize to Taylor Swift and Britney Spears for my little mix-up. I obviously know who they are. Taylor, I’ve been a fan ever since you said you ‘Ain’t No Hollaback Girl.’ Seriously, not to quote your own songs back at you, but your music sets ‘Fire to the Rain.’ Britney, you touched all of our hearts in ‘Evita’ when you sang ‘Don’t Cry for Me Argentina.’ I love your work so much it hurts. I guess you could say I have a ‘Bad Romance’ with it. So I hope you accept my apology, Saylor and Tritney, two of the people I am definitely aware of.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.We are confirming your access to this article, this will take just a moment. However, if you are using Reader mode please log in, subscribe, or exit Reader mode since we are unable to verify access in that state.Confirming article access.If you are a subscriber, please  More

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      David Letterman Reclaims His Desk at ‘The Late Show’

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      Eight years after retiring from the CBS show, the former late-night host sat down with his successor, Stephen Colbert.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Better Late Than NeverDavid Letterman returned to the Ed Sullivan Theater on Monday night for the first time in eight years.“My guest tonight certainly needs no introduction,” Stephen Colbert said before bringing Letterman out. The former “Late Show” host received extended cheers and enthusiastic chants of “Da-vid!” from the crowd.“I will say this is the most enthusiastic audience I have been near since the night I announced I was quitting,” Letterman said.Colbert asked Letterman if there was anything he missed, and the former host answered, “everything.”“Mostly, it’s fun. Very few things in life provide one the opportunity — and I can’t speak for you on this topic — but for me, if you muck one up, 24 hours later, you get to try again. And that’s a pretty good device.” — DAVID LETTERMANThey both recalled a meeting before Letterman handed over the reins to Colbert in 2015, and the former “Late Show” host shared his admiration for Colbert and his team’s tenure thus far, saying they made the job look easy.“I will pass that on to the entire staff, but you and I both know it’s really the host,” Colbert joked.At the end of the interview, Letterman asked if he could take a photo behind the old desk, and Colbert acquiesced before snapping a selfie of the two, who shared both a handshake and a hug by the end.“By the way, in my day, I never would have let this happen,” Letterman said, assuming his former seat. “I’m sorry. Thank you.”The Punchiest Punchlines (HBD, President Biden Edition)“President Biden turned 81 today despite his campaign staff specifically advising him not to.” — SETH MEYERS“Every time Joe Biden has a birthday, it feels like a — like a political misstep. It’s like, why would you do that? You’re old enough!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, President Biden today celebrated his 81st birthday, but not as much as Republicans did.” — SETH MEYERS“Joe Biden’s 60th birthday is now old enough to drink.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“There were so many candles on his cake, I thought it was another Canadian wildfire.” — DULCÉ SLOAN, guest host of “The Daily Show”The Bits Worth WatchingThe security-guard-turned-sidekick Guillermo Rodriguez took on the red carpet and the racetrack at the Formula 1 Las Vegas Grand Prix for a segment on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe fashion designer and “Real Housewives of New York” star Jenna Lyons will appear on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutDanielle Brooks, left, and Sam Jay.Daniel Terna“The Color Purple” star Danielle Brooks and the comedian Sam Jay discussed impostor syndrome and women in comedy for T: The New York Times Style Magazine. More

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      Seth Meyers Skewers George Santos for Botox and OnlyFans Spending

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      The “Late Night” host joked that Santos’s campaign fund-supported spending looks like “the shopping list of a 98-year-old oil tycoon’s 20-year-old wife.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not George Santos!A House ethics investigation into George Santos found that the Republican representative spent campaign money on personal items like Botox, lavish trips to Atlantic City, and purchases on OnlyFans.On Thursday, Seth Meyers joked that Santos has “the shopping list of a 98-year-old oil tycoon’s 20-year-old wife.”“Is he a congressman or a lesser Kardashian?” — SETH MEYERS“Even his fellow Republicans are calling for his expulsion, including the few who stuck by him before this report. He alienated his only fans by spending money on OnlyFans.” — SETH MEYERS“Not the man that prevented 9/11!” — LESLIE JONES, guest host of “The Daily Show”“Santos got caught spending campaign money on Botox and OnlyFans. And this is on top of him stealing credit cards, wire fraud and identity theft. When he goes to jail, and they ask him, ‘What are you in for?’ he’s going to be, like, ‘Everything!’” — LESLIE JONES“How do you spend money on lavish trips to Atlantic City? Have you been to Atlantic City? A lavish trip there just means that you don’t go home with bed bugs.” — LESLIE JONES“I got to say, that’s the first time I’ve ever heard a trip to Atlantic City described as lavish. Drunk, terrifying, or grounds for divorce — but never lavish.” — SETH MEYERS“The halls are closing in on George. The long-awaited ethics report on Santos came out today. Investigators found what they call ‘substantial evidence’ of criminal wrongdoing. The report claims that, among other things, Santos used campaign funds on personal items like Sephora cosmetics, trips to Atlantic City, and even OnlyFans. Turns out they don’t sell fans at all. The name of the site is very misleading.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The report dropped this morning and reveals that Santos ‘sought to fraudulently exploit every aspect of his House candidacy for his own personal and financial profit,’ and declares that he ‘warrants public condemnation, is beneath the dignity of the office, and has brought severe discredit upon the House.’ That is not easy to do. That is — that’s quite an accomplishment. That is a high chalk mark, because these days, the dignity of the House is slightly below a Golden Corral that just ran out of steak.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (President on President Edition)“President Biden and Chinese President Xi Jinping agreed yesterday to re-establish military communications. It’s what Biden is calling the greatest U.S.-China collaboration since ‘Rush Hour.’” — SETH MEYERS“Both men met for over four hours and, by all accounts, they really hit it off. That’s great news for Biden, because usually when something lasts for over four hours, he has to immediately call a doctor.” — JIMMY FALLON“President Xi said China wants to be a ‘partner and friend’ to the United States. Even said he’d send us new pandas for our national zoo. They’d taken our pandas back, now we’re getting the pandas — and, in return, we’ve agreed to send China two of the lesser Kardashians. I think it’s Rob and one of the cousins that lives in Topeka, or something.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Biden wished President Xi’s wife a happy birthday, and President Xi was reportedly embarrassed because he had forgotten about his wife’s birthday. And that’s why we call him ‘President Steal Your Girl.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn her last night guest hosting “The Daily Show,” Leslie Jones challenged New Yorkers to say nice things about public figures like Ron DeSantis, Vladimir Putin and Marjorie Taylor Greene.Also, Check This OutNicole Newnham’s new film about Shere Hite rescues the researcher from the margins of feminist history with both style and substance.Mike Wilson/IFC FilmsNicole Newnham’s documentary, “The Disappearance of Shere Hite,” charts the life and times of a pioneering feminist researcher. More

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      Stephen Colbert Sums Up Biden’s Meeting with China’s President: ‘He Said, Xi Said’

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      Colbert said President Biden and China’s leader, Xi Jinping, had a lot to catch up on: “trade tensions, global flash points, who got hot over the summer.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘He Said, Xi Said’President Biden met with his Chinese counterpart, Xi Jinping, in San Francisco on Wednesday.Stephen Colbert pointed out that the two leaders last met a year ago, so they would “have so much to talk about: trade tensions, global flash points, who got hot over the summer. Spoiler alert: neither of them!”“Now, before the meeting, both sides tried to play it cool, and set expectations low. In fact, both countries said that whatever happened, both Biden and Xi would not put out a joint statement after the meeting. So it’s just going to be a case of ‘He said, Xi said.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Ahead of their meeting, Biden said, ‘We’re not trying to decouple from China. What we’re trying to do is change the relationship for the better.” In other words, for those of you who don’t follow international affairs, we’re Chris Martin and China is Gwyneth Paltrow and we’re just trying to raise a TikTok kid together, you know?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“China has a good reason to want to talk to America, and it’s cash. For the past few years, China’s economy has been struggling, with anemic consumer spending and high youth unemployment. It’s gotten so bad that second-graders can’t get a job at the iPhone factory.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Things are shaky right now between the U.S. and China. This is the diplomatic version of a married couple dropping the kids at the in-laws to spend the night at a hotel, see if they can get things back on track. And I think these guys have known each other for a long time. President Xi is just happy to meet a president who doesn’t call his country ‘Gyna.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Congressional Fight Club Edition)“Former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy denied claims yesterday that he elbowed Republican Congressman Tim Burchett in the back and added ‘If I would hit somebody, they would know I hit them.’ I assume ’cause his fist would bruise.” — SETH MEYERS“[imitating Kevin McCarthy] If I hit him, he’d be on the ground. Then I’d kick him, and I’d take his bike, and his Pokemon cards, and his girlfriend would be my girlfriend, and then people would like me.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Listen, I know what it’s like to want to fight a co-worker. But don’t do that at work — you wait for them in the parking lot like a responsible adult!” — LESLIE JONES, guest host of “The Daily Show”The Bits Worth WatchingThe director Taika Waititi played a game with Jimmy Fallon inspired by his new film “Next Goal Wins” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightComedian Maria Bamford will discuss her new memoir, “Sure, I’ll Join Your Cult” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutIn “Scene Partners,” Eric Berryman is among the nimble supporting cast and Dianne Wiest is a pleasure to watch as she makes her character’s innocence and bloodthirstiness equally believable, equally fresh, our critic writes. Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesIn the new play “Scene Partners,” Dianne Wiest stars as a 75-year-old woman who sets out to be a star. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Said to Be Returning as Oscars Host

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      It will be the late-night comedian’s fourth time as M.C. of the awards ceremony, which won back some viewers last year.Academy Awards organizers have decided to stick with a tried and true host: Jimmy Kimmel.Mr. Kimmel, the late-night comedian who has hosted the event three times, will return to the Oscars stage on March 10 to steer the 96th ceremony, according to two people briefed on the plan, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to disclose it. Molly McNearney, the co-head writer and an executive producer of “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” on ABC, will serve as an executive producer for the 96th Oscars telecast.The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences did not respond to requests for comment.Seeking cultural relevancy for the ceremony following a period of plunging ratings, the academy and ABC, which broadcasts the Oscars, have bounced between formats in recent years. They tried three hosts in 2022 (Wanda Sykes, Regina Hall, Amy Schumer) and zero hosts, from 2019 to 2021. For the 2023 show, the academy returned to one host — Mr. Kimmel, who also did the job in 2017 and 2018.He delivered. Viewership rose to nearly 19 million people this year, according to Nielsen, up from 16.6 million the year before and 10.4 million in 2021, the lowest ever. Before 2018, the telecast had never dropped below 32 million.Just as important for the academy, Mr. Kimmel’s return was free of controversy, helping to restore luster to an event tarnished in 2022 when Will Smith marched onstage and slapped Chris Rock. The academy and ABC also overhauled the red carpet preshow, hiring consultants with experience at the Met Gala to make star arrivals feel less chaotic and more glamorous. The red carpet was vanquished in favor of a champagne-colored one.Hosting the ceremony was once viewed as a feather in the cap of top comedians like Billy Crystal, a nine-time host, and Whoopi Goldberg, who was M.C. four times. But many stars have become leery about the time commitment and potential backlash that hosting can bring. Trash-talking the Oscars — for its stilted banter, for the choices made by voters, for its very existence — has become a hallmark of the social media age.Hollywood’s awards season has been slow to start this time around because of the actors’ strike, which prevented stars from promoting finished work. With the strike resolved, studios and publicists have quickly ramped up awards campaigns, pushing stars like Emma Stone, a front-runner for a best actress nomination for her debauched performance in the surrealist comedic drama “Poor Things,” and films like “American Fiction,” a satire about a writer who puts together a fake memoir that turns on racial stereotypes.Other films expected to prominently figure into the 96th Academy Awards include “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer,” both of which were runaway successes at the global box office. If they receive as many nominations as people in Hollywood expect, it will help Mr. Kimmel: Viewership for the Oscars tends to increase when popular films are honored. More