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      Trevor Noah Feels for Trump as He Sits on the Sidelines

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      Ron DeSantis is stealing the ex-president’s thunder, Noah says — “he’s slowly becoming the Republican Party now.” Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Twice the TrumpFormer President Donald J. Trump is reported to have expressed anger over the attention Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida is getting for sending migrants to Martha’s Vineyard — because Trump claims it was his idea.Trevor Noah said the Republican Party had “two Donald Trumps now.”“Oh man, poor Donald Trump. He is just sitting at home like, ‘You stole my idea! And by the way, stealing stuff is also my idea. Read the news!’” — TREVOR NOAH“Can you imagine being such a despicable creep, you’re mad at someone for being a despicable creep sooner than you? That’s like taking credit for being the first guy to put pineapple on pizza.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But you know what’s really telling here is that, in a way, Trump has a point, all right? He is the guy who came up with the idea of turning all politics into a series of stunts. That is what he did — the Muslim ban, ‘build the wall.’ That [expletive] didn’t solve anything but got the people going, and now pulling stunts has become the driving force of the Republican Party, but Trump is stuck watching out on the sidelines.” — TREVOR NOAH“And I feel bad for you, Mr. Trump. But the fact is, Ron DeSantis, you see what he’s doing — he’s slowly becoming the Republican Party now, stealing your tricks, making it his own.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Just a Phase Edition)“Speaking of America, land that I love, President of America Joe Biden made big news on the ‘60 Minutes’ this weekend when he maybe kind of prematurely declared that the pandemic is over, which marks the first time that Joe Biden has ever moved too fast.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“President Biden claimed in a new interview that the coronavirus pandemic is over. Easy for him to say — he just had it. Of course it’s over when you’ve got the antibodies: ‘I’m off to Burning Man, then London for the Queen’s funeral. No masks, baby!’” — SETH MEYERS“Lawmakers and public health officials are concerned his comment could undermine the rollout of new booster shots, as well as funding from Congress. The White House says their Covid-19 policy is unchanged, despite Biden’s comments. It’s never a good sign when even the White House is trying to distance itself from the president, is it?” — JAMES CORDEN“Biden’s announcement took the White House by surprise, and they’re now trying to backpedal, saying ‘Sure, the president could have been more nuanced — he was simply saying we’ve hit a different phase.’ OK, saying something is over, kind of a misleading way to declare a new phase.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Late Night” writers Amber Ruffin and Jenny Hagel took on Black hobbits and lesbian rom-coms for Tuesday night’s “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightOlivia Wilde, the director of “Don’t Worry Darling,” will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutXavier Collin/Image Press Agency and Sipa USA, via AlamyColin Hanks is inspired by tacos, shaving his head and “What We Do in the Shadows.” More

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      Late Night Recaps the Queen’s Funeral

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      “There is no iPhone at the end of that line, all right?” Trevor Noah said of the long lines of mourners on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Fit for a QueenQueen Elizabeth’s funeral took place on Monday, with crowds waiting in line for up to 24 hours to pay their respects.Trevor Noah called the wait “no joke,” saying, “There is no iPhone at the end of that line, all right? It’s just a box and you don’t even get to open the box.”“The line to see the queen’s coffin stretched for miles, similar to what goes on here in America when Popeye’s comes out with a new chicken sandwich.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The procession was lengthy, with King Charles and siblings walking behind the coffin for nearly one and a half hours. That’s not easy. For years, the royal family’s only form of exercise has been walking back statements from Andrew.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And it was a three-mile march from Westminster Abbey to Windsor Castle, also known as the long walk. Yeah, or as Kylie Jenner calls it, ‘Why didn’t they take the jet?’” — TREVOR NOAH“Leaders, dignitaries, and politicians from around the world gathered in London for the funeral of Queen Elizabeth. Meanwhile, Trump showed up at a Burger King and said, ‘Sorry for your loss.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Freddy Krueger Edition)“In an interview yesterday, President Biden said while we still have a problem with the virus, quote, ‘The pandemic is over.’ Yes. Yeah. But I get why Biden said this. I mean, he just had Covid. Everyone — everyone who gets Covid is over Covid.” — TREVOR NOAH“Biden then announced that skinny jeans, neutral tones, and chrome nail polish are also over.” — JAMES CORDEN“He said ‘the pandemic is over,’ which is weirdly not reassuring at all. It’s like saying ‘Freddy Krueger is dead and he’s never coming back!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s kind of huge news to mention so casually, you know? I wasn’t expecting the end of a two-and-a-half-year nightmare to be announced on the floor of the Detroit Auto Show.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon and his “Tonight Show” guest Margot Robbie got blasted in the face with an air cannon for every wrong answer in a guessing game called “Blow Your Mind.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightBilly Eichner will talk about his new movie “Bros” on “The Late Show.”Also, Check This Out“M*A*S*H,” which debuted in September 1972, feels both ancient and current. With Jamie Farr, seated, and, from left, Mike Farrell, David Ogden Stiers, Alan Alda, Loretta Swit, Harry Morgan and William Christopher in a later season.CBS Photo Archive/Getty ImagesAfter 50 years, “M*A*S*H” holds up as a precursor to modern-day comedies that are more than just funny. More

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      Quinta Brunson Reclaims Her Time on ‘Jimmy Kimmel Live’

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      Brunson interrupted Kimmel’s monologue to redo her Emmy acceptance speech after Kimmel lay on the stage in an extended bit some viewers found disrespectful.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Stealing the SceneJimmy Kimmel waited until Quinta Brunson appeared on his show Wednesday night to address the controversy surrounding his lying on the stage during her Emmy win on Monday.“You’re a little bit early for your interview; it’s after the commercial,” said Kimmel, who had been pretending to be passed out in his gag at the award show.“So, you know how when you win an Emmy you only have 45 seconds to do an acceptance speech which is, like, not that much time. Yeah, and then someone does, like — you get less time because someone does a dumb comedy bit that goes on a bit too long?” Brunson said before requesting the airtime on his show for additional thank-yous.Kimmel joked that he’d heard about that happening in previous years before giving Brunson the floor to relay some extra thanks, including to the internet “for raising me.”“We’ll be right back with Emmy-winning Quinta Brunson!” she said, going to break.During their sit-down interview, Kimmel apologized to Brunson, who won for outstanding writing for a comedy series, for “Abbott Elementary.” He acknowledged that “people got upset” when he wouldn’t leave the Emmys stage for her speech.“They said I stole your moment. And maybe I did, and I’m very sorry if I did do that. I’m sorry I did do that, actually. Also, the last thing I would ever want to do is upset you because I think so much of you, and I think you know that. I hope you know that.” — JIMMY KIMMELKimmel then blamed his Emmys co-presenter, saying, “It was really Will Arnett’s thing — the whole thing. He drugged me and he dragged me out there. And I was unconscious.”The Punchiest Punchlines (Drive-Through Edition)“MyPillow C.E.O. Mike Lindell said in an interview yesterday that F.B.I. agents seized his cellphone at a Hardee’s drive-through in Minnesota. The F.B.I. says they weren’t tipped off about his location, they just assumed. [imitating F.B.I. Agents] ‘Hey, they want us to get Lindell’s cellphone.’ ‘All right — Hardee’s drive-through?’” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, MyPillow C.E.O. Mike Lindell said that F.B.I. agents seized his cellphone at a Hardee’s drive-through. So not a great way to start his job interview.” — SETH MEYERS“Good luck to Mike Lindell. I’m not sure you want to go to jail being known as the MyPillow guy.” — JIMMY FALLON“I have so many questions about this, like was the F.B.I. following him, or did they just say, ‘You know what? Eventually, he’s going to go to Hardee’s. We’ll just wait here.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Lindell stood his ground at Hardee’s. The feds got his phone, but he said if they want to take his mushroom-and-swiss Angus burger, they’ll have to come back with a warrant.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingSteve Carell joined Stephen Colbert for another “Late Show” rendition of “Too Much Exposition Theatre.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe singer and “Monarch” star Beth Ditto will appear on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutDiane Arbus in Tompkins Square Park in New York in 1967.Nathan FarbThe David Zwirner Gallery in New York is restaging the famed photographer Diane Arbus’s 1972 retrospective, with a few omissions. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Studies Trump’s Golfless Golf Course Gathering

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      “Yeah, Trump was smart. He was like, ‘How about nine of us meet on the green with no clubs, so it doesn’t look suspicious?’” Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Executive CourseThere’s been speculation about why Donald Trump made an unannounced trip to the Washington area, where he was photographed on a golf course with his son Eric and several other men — none of whom had golf clubs. Jimmy Fallon called it a “very diverse group,” saying “they had polo shirts of every color. ”“Looks like backstage at a fashion show for Marshall’s.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, Trump was smart. He was like, ‘How about nine of us meet on the green with no clubs, so it doesn’t look suspicious?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump was like, ‘So, I think I buried the documents somewhere around here. So start — start digging, boys.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Whatever it was, it must not have been too important because Eric was there, riding up front with Daddy like a big boy.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Emmys Edition)“The Emmy Awards ceremony was held last night. Our show was nominated and, honey, clear some space on the mantle, ‘cause they had snow globes at the airport!” — SETH MEYERS“John Oliver beat us for like the 485th time in a row, and congratulations to John. But I’ll tell you something: Even though we didn’t win last night, it was an honor just to get Covid from those who did win last night.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“As they all are nowadays, this was the lowest-rated Emmys show ever. Only 5.92 million people watched the show on NBC. But that’s not really the whole story — it’s not fair. It was also on Peacock, so when you add in the people who streamed it there, it’s still 5.92 million people.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingEthan Hawke answered the “Colbert Questionert” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe newly minted Emmy winner Quinta Brunson will talk about her big night on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutLee Jung-jae, left, who won the Emmy for best actor in a drama series, and Hwang Dong-hyuk, who was honored for his directing, after an impressive showing for “Squid Game” in Los Angeles on Monday.Aude Guerrucci/ReutersAs “Squid Game” racked up multiple Emmys, it was hailed as the latest example of South Korea’s rise as a cultural powerhouse. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Declares Trump ‘the Worst Ex Ever’

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      “After four years of putting up with his nonsense, we finally throw him out of the house, he takes 40 boxes of our stuff,” Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Ménage a treason’The F.B.I.’s search at Mar-a-Lago continued to dominate late night on Wednesday, as further details emerge on its findings.Jimmy Kimmel called Trump “the worst ex ever.”“After four years of putting up with his nonsense, we finally throw him out of the house, he takes 40 boxes of our stuff.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“These documents — these are so protected they can’t even be viewed by most members of Trump’s or the president’s national security team. The only people who are allowed to see them are the president of the United States and a few highly cleared members of his council, and anyone who goes into Trump’s closet looking for a broom, I guess.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So this time, the ex-president wasn’t just betraying our country, he brought in another country for a ménage a treason.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Investigators reportedly found the nuclear documents hidden in the club’s storage closet, next to a bag of golf tees, a box of old pool noodles, and Melania, who was hiding in there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He took top secret documents from the White House and had them sitting in boxes in a room where workers regularly went in and out. They would have been more secure inside the claw machine at Dave and Buster’s, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Nuclear Stress Test Edition)“More details are emerging about the sensitive documents found inside Donald Trump’s Florida home, and it turns out some of those documents included information about a foreign nation’s military defenses and their nuclear capabilities. It’s pretty shocking. Hard to imagine such recklessness from an otherwise perfectly buttoned-up administration.” — JAMES CORDEN“How do you explain this to our allies? ‘Don’t worry, prime minister, your country’s nuclear secrets are perfectly, safely stored at the Mar-a-Lago waffle bar between the syrup and the Nutella bucket.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“These nuclear secrets could have been stolen by foreign agents, they could have been published on the internet, Eric could have eaten them — we don’t know!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Imagine being a guest at Mar-a-Lago and using the bathroom, and out of the corner of your eye you just notice something and are you like, ‘Hang on. Is that — is that Norway’s nuclear codes?’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingAmber Ruffin, a writer for “Late Night,” skewered the people who misidentified famous Black women at the U.S. Open tennis tournament and at a New York Liberty W.N.B.A. game during Wednesday’s “Amber Says What?”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightRyan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney will talk about their new series “Welcome to Wrexham” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutSimone Niamani Thompson for The New York TimesThe women of “Black Panther” leaned on each other to get through the grief-stricken shoot without their late co-star Chadwick Boseman while filming the sequel, “Wakanda Forever.” More

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      Late Night Returns Just in Time for Trump to Get a Special Master

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      “Once again Donald Trump has exposed a part of America that I’m willing to bet nobody knew existed,” Trevor Noah said. “Nobody!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Master of NoneAfter a summer full of breaks, guest hosts and repeats, late-night hosts returned to the air on Tuesday, just in time to talk about the documents the F.B.I. found at Mar-a-Lago and the appointment of a special master to review them.Trevor Noah said he’d never heard of a special master before, adding that “once again Donald Trump has exposed a part of America that I’m willing to bet nobody knew existed. Nobody!”“I didn’t even know it was an option. I’ve watched 10 million hours of ‘Law & Order.’ I know about subpoenas, I know about breaking the chain of custody, objection, sustained, overruled, sidebar in my chambers — but not once have I heard the term ‘special master.’ Once again, thanks to Trump, because of his hard work and dedication to doing crimes, we’ve all learned something new today, and I say thank you, Mr. President.” — TREVOR NOAH“Which, I’m not going to lie, when I first heard it, sounded pretty cool. It was like, ‘Donald Trump is getting a special master.’ I was like, ‘He’s about to learn kung fu?’” — TREVOR NOAH“Who the special master will be, we do not know. Maybe they can get Eric to do it. He’s special, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, the special master has to review over 11,000 documents, which could delay the investigation. Man, only Trump could avoid jail just because there’s too much evidence.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’ve got to say, ‘special master’ actually sounds kind of kinky. [imitating deep voice] ‘You will address me as special master, and you will submit … your motion to dismiss no later than 3 p.m. Friday. Now beg for my gavel.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Secret Documents Edition)“You know, I’ve been trying to understand how he could possibly believe he had the right to take all those documents to his house. It’s weird that a person who barely reads would even want documents. It’s like finding out your dog collects stamps.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But even more concerning is that the F.B.I. also found dozens of classified folders that were empty, which obviously raises the question, where are the documents from the folders? Are they in other boxes? Did he lend them to Saudi Arabia? Or maybe — maybe it’s more innocent, yeah. Maybe Trump keeps a bunch of folders labeled ‘classified’ so he can give them to friends with photocopies of his butt inside.” — TREVOR NOAH“It’s also possible the intelligence community didn’t trust Trump with classified information so they just gave him empty folders.” — TREVOR NOAH“The feds also recovered documents related to the use of ‘clandestine human sources’ in intelligence gathering. That means lists of our secret operatives in foreign governments. Why would he have those? Is he writing a new spy thriller: ‘Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Woman, Man, Camera, T.V.’?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingOn “The Tonight Show,” Hillary Clinton reacted to Jimmy Fallon’s monologue about what the F.B.I. found while searching Mar-a-Lago.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe singer Fletcher will make her late-night debut on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutKaren O of Yeah Yeah Yeahs.Mark Horton/Getty ImagesAfter a lengthy hiatus, the art rock trio Yeah Yeah Yeahs is returning with a new studio album, “Cool It Down,” on Sept. 30. More

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      Chelsea Handler Chides the Supreme Court

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      “At this point I’d probably have more rights if my vagina was an AR-15,” Handler mused on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Speaking From ExperienceChelsea Handler kicked off four nights of guest hosting “Jimmy Kimmel Live” on Monday night, saying, “I will be here all week long, or at least until Republicans make it illegal for women to talk.”“Jimmy is off right now doing whatever the [expletive] he wants with his body.” — CHELSEA HANDLERHandler dedicated her monologue to the Supreme Court’s Friday decision to overturn Roe v. Wade.“Remember like five days ago when Fox News told us the biggest threat facing America was drag queens? That was cute.” — CHELSEA HANDLER“At this point I’d probably have more rights if my vagina was an AR-15.” — CHELSEA HANDLER“And by the way, I’m speaking from experience on all of this as someone who had three abortions in high school. And if that sounds too extreme, let’s pretend I had two. Because here’s the thing: This planet is a much safer place without me polluting it with my children. I’m responsible enough to know that we don’t need any more pothead molly-loving alcoholics running around topless.” — CHELSEA HANDLER“Not only has this decision further divided our country, most families now have two separate group texts going: one with relatives who support the rights of women and one with the relatives who live in Florida.” — CHELSEA HANDLERThe Punchiest Punchlines (Supreme Court Edition)“Everyone is talking about the Supreme Court after they made some pretty major decisions over the last few days, and let me just sum it up for you: They basically said whether it’s a gun or a baby, you’re carrying something.” — JIMMY FALLON“So, reproductive rights in America lasted for less time than ‘The Young and the Restless.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“People just want things done. No one cares about Kente cloth or singing on the Capitol steps and especially not poetry, all right? I feel like any moment now Chuck Schumer is going to throw on a fake pregnant belly, and just take a knee in the Capitol and be like ‘We are all pregnant now and we’re standing together.’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth Watching“The Daily Show” correspondent Michael Kosta investigated vasectomies on Monday’s show.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightRepresentative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutAnnie Hardy, left, and Angela Enohoro in “Dashcam.”Blumhouse ProductionsThis month’s picks for five new horror films available to stream now are scary, but not too scary. More

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      Trevor Noah Calls Out Rudy Giuliani for Being ‘Thirsty’

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      “Yeah, Rudy made so many unanswered calls, the iPhone started labeling him as spam,” Noah said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Spam LikelyThe Jan. 6 hearings continued on Tuesday, where reports of former President Trump’s attempt to flip the outcome of the election with state officials took center stage.“One of the people Trump depended on most in the pressure campaign was Rudy Giuliani, his personal lawyer and final boss in a Resident Evil game,” Trevor Noah said on Tuesday. “Unfortunately, it seemed like no one wanted to take Rudy’s calls.”“Yeah, Rudy made so many unanswered calls, the iPhone started labeling him as spam.” — TREVOR NOAH“Can we acknowledge what a fall this has been, huh? This man went from being an American hero to now sounding like a telemarketer selling a coup: [imitating Giuliani] ‘If you order now, I’ll throw in that chair Abraham Lincoln is sitting on.’” — TREVOR NOAH“And you know, this is another example of how historic President Trump really was. Any other time in U.S. history, if the president’s lawyer called someone, they would take that call. But when Trump’s vampire lawyer called people, everyone was, like, ‘Tell him I’m not here! Yeah, tell him I went camping and died!’” — TREVOR NOAH“Also, not that I’m encouraging it, because I’m not, but if you are going to try to overturn an election, maybe don’t leave voice mails? It’s a paper trail. Also it’s 2022 — text! Who leaves voice mails? You realize how thirsty you’re coming off? ‘Hey, it’s me again.’ Come on, Rudy, just hit ’em with a quick late-night ‘U Up? For subverting democracy? Eggplant emoji, red hat emoji, vampire emoji.’ Come on, Rudy, keep up with the times!” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Summer Solstice Edition)“Thank you for joining us on the first day of summer, which is wild. This is the day when both the sun and Jimmy Kimmel are said to be at their highest.” — SEAN HAYES, guest host of “Jimmy Kimmel Live”“Today is also known as the summer solstice, which is the longest day of the year, which is funny, because I thought the longest day of the year was the time I saw Steven Seagal do Shakespeare in the park.” — SEAN HAYES“Out of all the days in the year, this is the one where we get the most sunlight, so if you were still sad today, I hate to break to it you, but your seasonal depression is just regular depression.” — SEAN HAYES“Of course I’m in a good mood today. It’s the first day of summer. Seriously, I heard so many White Claws crack open today I thought the — I thought the cicadas were back.” — JIMMY FALLON“You could tell it’s summer. This morning, my Uber driver drove around with the top down and by the top, I mean his shirt.” — JIMMY FALLON“But yeah, summer is here, which means that you’ve got about a week until it’s pumpkin season at Starbucks.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, today is the summer solstice, which means it’s the longest day of the year. So if today felt extra long, you’re either in our hemisphere or you own Bitcoin.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingDulcé Sloan broke down the commercialization of Pride on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightDavid Sedaris will sit down with Stephen Colbert on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutGeorge Michael during his Faith World Tour in 1988. Michael Putland/Getty Images“George Michael: Freedom Uncut” details the singer’s life and career via interviews and previously unseen footage. More