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      Jimmy Fallon Pokes Fun at Johnson & Johnson’s Vaccine Pause

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      “That’s right, they’re recommending a pause. Then anyone who’s ever been dumped was like: ‘Oh, boy. We know what “pause” means,’” Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.What Are the Odds?Johnson & Johnson was the talk of late night on Tuesday after the F.D.A. advised a pause in using its Covid vaccine because six recipients developed blood clots within two weeks of vaccination.“That’s right, they’re recommending a pause. Then anyone who’s ever been dumped was like: ‘Oh, boy. We know what “pause” means,’” Jimmy Fallon joked.“But statistically speaking, six is not that significant, since nearly seven million people in the U.S. have received Johnson & Johnson shots so far. That’s less than one in a million. To put that in perspective, it’s slightly better odds than you have of getting to visit Willy Wonka’s Fantabulous Chocolate Factory, which, for the record, kills or maims four out of the five children who step foot inside.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You realize that means you’re more likely to get struck by lightning 10 times, which, by the way, is the origin story of Marvel’s most useless superhero.” — TREVOR NOAH“That means the odds are less than one in a million. It’s .0000009 — that’s more zeros than in the Trump family.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And don’t forget, yes, yes — you might have a 0.0001 percent chance of getting blood clots from this vaccine, but if you get coronavirus, you can get lung damage, heart damage, neurological damage, strokes, seizures, Guillain-Barré syndrome, immune disorders, erectile dysfunction and, get this, also blood clots.” — TREVOR NOAH“And today if you had a Johnson & Johnson appointment in New York, they gave out Pfizer instead. Yeah, it’s like going to a restaurant and hearing, ‘We’re out of Coke; is Dom Pérignon OK?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, it’s a really rare event. It’s like seeing a working self-checkout machine at CVS, that’s how rare.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Johnson v. Johnson Edition)“Honestly, if you ask me, I think it’s impressive Johnson & Johnson even made a vaccine with such a low chance of blood clots. Pfizer and Moderna are drug companies; Johnson & Johnson makes baby shampoo — I’m surprised their [expletive] works at all.” — TREVOR NOAH“When reached for comment, Johnson said it was Johnson’s fault, but Johnson pointed the finger at Johnson.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I blame the second Johnson. He never graduated high school.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Damn it, Johnson & Johnson, you had one jab.” — JAMES CORDEN“Johnson & Johnson is owned by the same family who owns the New York Jets, so don’t think of this as a pause; think of it more like a 50-year rebuild.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingTaylor Swift revealed the inspiration for her song “Hey Stephen” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe comedian Margaret Cho will be on Wednesday’s “A Little Late With Lilly Singh.”Also, Check This OutNina Totenberg, Linda Wertheimer and Cokie Roberts in 1979.NPRLisa Napoli’s “Susan, Linda, Nina & Cokie” chronicles four journalists who helped to establish NPR in the 1970s. More

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      Late Night Gets Serious About Police Brutality

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      Trevor Noah and Stephen Colbert criticized officers’ use of force against Black men, citing two cases in which traffic stops turned violent.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Lethal ErrorTrevor Noah and Stephen Colbert addressed police brutality against Black men on Monday night, with a focus on two recent high-profile cases. The first was the death of Daunte Wright, who was fatally shot during a traffic stop near Minneapolis on Sunday. The second was that of Caron Nazario, an Army lieutenant who was in uniform in December when two Virginia police officers ordered him to stop his car, pointed their weapons at him and doused him with pepper spray.“But if you’re surprised that a member of the military is having his rights abused, then you need to understand the police don’t give a [expletive],” Noah said. “They don’t care if you’re a member of the military; they don’t care if you’re a beloved member of the community; they don’t care if you’re recording them; [expletive], they don’t even care if they’re recording themselves. And the reason they don’t care is because they know they’re going to get away with it. And until that changes, they’re just going to keep not caring.”“What a strange way to say ‘Thank you for your service.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And how crazy is it that this driver — think about it — he knew to get to a gas station so that he would have decent lighting for the encounter. Imagine. Just think about that for a moment: Police brutality has forced everyday Black Americans to become lighting experts.” — TREVOR NOAH“I mean, at this point Black people should just start singing ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ when they get pulled over. Then maybe, just maybe, the cops will be like, ‘Well, I don’t want to pepper spray the anthem — what do I do?’” — TREVOR NOAHColbert and Noah expressed frustration with a police statement saying that the officer who shot and killed Wright had mistakenly confused her gun for her Taser.“It’s dangerous when a policeman can’t tell if you’re holding a gun. It’s insane when they can’t tell if they’re holding a gun.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“A man was killed at a traffic stop because the police officer mixed up their gun and their Taser? Is that even supposed to be a legitimate excuse? Like, we’re supposed to watch that and go, ‘Ah, OK. One time I used sugar instead of salt, so I can relate.’” — TREVOR NOAH“And by the way, don’t you find it amazing cops think everything is a gun except their own gun?” — TREVOR NOAH“And even if it was just a mistake, that’s not a mistake that you just forgive and walk away, especially since you know the people jumping to her defense for using a gun instead of a Taser — those are the same people they want their waiter fired for bringing them a regular Coke instead of Diet.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Venmo Tuition Edition)“Congress returned after a two-week recess. ‘Not much, just hung out,’ said Matt Gaetz before anyone could talk.” — SETH MEYERS“Matt Gaetz, Florida congressman and fraternity brother who wants to show you something in his room, has been under fire since news broke of him being under investigation over possible sex trafficking. But like a Karen in a Bath & Body Works, he refuses to back down.” — TREVOR NOAH“According to a new report, Florida congressman Matt Gaetz used the cash transfer app Venmo to send an accused sex trafficker $900, who then paid three young women for, quote, ‘tuition and school,’ which is a pretty weak attempt to cover your tracks. That’s like leaving your wallet at a crime scene but wiping your fingerprints off it.” — SETH MEYERS“Let he who has never Venmo’d a prostitute cast the first stone.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I mean, you think you know a guy, and then it turns out — yeah, you’re totally right. You do know him. You know him pretty well.” — TREVOR NOAH“The House Ethics Committee announced Friday it will launch an investigation into Republican congressman Matt Gaetz over allegations that he, quote, ‘may have engaged in sexual misconduct, and/or illicit drug use, shared inappropriate images or videos on the House floor, misused state identification records, converted campaign funds to personal use and/or accepted a bribe, improper gratuity or impermissible gift’ — or as Republicans call it, ‘running for re-election.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingJohn Boehner, the former speaker of the House, played a speed-round of quick reactions to politicians like Mike Pence and Barack Obama on Monday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightPhoebe Robinson will talk about her new Comedy Central series, “Doing the Most,” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutTobias Menzies portrayed Prince Philip in the Netflix series “The Crown.”Des Willie/Netflix, via Associated PressThere have been numerous onscreen portrayals of the late Prince Philip, some more accurate than others. His biographer assesses the best-known attempts. More

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      Matt Gaetz Is ‘Almost Too Florida,’ Says Stephen Colbert

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      Allegations of “Bahamas sex trafficking with a weed-peddling hand surgeon” make the congressman a nearly too-perfect representative of his state, Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Representing FloridaThe late-night hosts had plenty to say on Thursday about the accusations against Representative Matt Gaetz, Republican of Florida, as investigators examine a trip he took to the Bahamas with Jason Pirozzolo, a marijuana entrepreneur and hand surgeon.“Yes, marijuana entrepreneur and hand surgeon, which means he can cure your carpal tunnel and turn your thumb into a bong,” Stephen Colbert joked on Thursday’s “Late Show.”“By the way, if your hand surgeon is also a marijuana entrepreneur, probably a good idea to learn to write with your feet.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I know Gaetz is from Florida, but ‘Bahamas sex trafficking with weed-peddling hand surgeon’ is almost too Florida, even for him.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So good luck, Matt Gaetz. Maybe he just loves Trump so much he wants to go to jail with him, is that possible?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Gaetz is going to get screwed — and as usual, he’s going to have to pay for it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now might be a fun time to remind people of this tweet Matt Gaetz posted just before Michael Cohen testified in Congress about his former boss, Donald Trump: ‘Hey @michaelcohen212 do your wife & father-in-law know about your girlfriends? Maybe tonight would be a good time for that chat. I wonder if she’ll remain faithful while you’re in prison. She’s about to learn a lot.’ Oh, karma, you old rascal, you.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Pence’s Book Deal Edition)“The former vice poodle is putting Pence to paper. He signed a two-book deal with Simon & Schuster — I wonder if he knows they’re a gay couple.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“How does Mike Pence have enough material to write two books? I feel like I can summarize his entire life in two sentences. One, he was vice president. Two, a fly landed on his head.” — JAMES CORDEN“The first book is a pretty straightforward memoir, but I was surprised by the second one. It’s actually a steamy romance novel, called ‘Presidential Vices.’” — JAMES CORDEN“Of course the book will be written by a ghostwriter, Mike Pence.” — JIMMY FALLON“This will be the only time pages got whiter after words were printed on them.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But the book is a little different, though. There’s a blank white page in the middle with the caption ‘selfie.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Of course, Pence is currently considering a lot of titles for his memoir. First there’s ‘Fifty Shades of White.’ There’s also ‘Lord of the Flies.’ Next there’s ‘Tuesdays with Moron.’ And finally, ‘Are you There, Mother? It’s Me, Your Husband.” — JIMMY FALLON“Pence’s publisher calls this ‘the definitive book on one of the most consequential presidencies in American history.’ Oh, it was consequential, all right.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The book will cover not just Pence’s time in the White House but his whole life, including traumatic family events like the time he saw Mother without her bonnet. He even opens up about the time in college he experimented with almond milk.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’m sure there will be a lot of talk about religion, his hopes and dreams, and then maybe a chapter about how his boss tried to murder him.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingGlenn Close talked about spending her pandemic in Montana on Thursday night’s “Desus & Mero.”Also, Check This OutFrom left, Deborah Ayorinde, Melody Hurd, Shahadi Wright Joseph and Ashley Thomas in “Them,” a new horror series from Amazon. The malevolent force at work here is racism.Amazon StudiosA Black family is faced with the terror of American racism in Amazon’s new 10-part horror series “Them.” More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Takes On Matt Gaetz Over His Bid for a Pre-emptive Pardon

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      Trump aides denied him a blanket pardon for fear it would set a bad precedent, Kimmel said: “At the time, they were only interested in setting terrible precedents.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Pardon Me?Before President Donald Trump left office, Representative Matt Gaetz, one of his most vocal allies, unsuccessfully sought a blanket pre-emptive pardon for any crimes he may have committed, The New York Times reported this week. At the time, the Republican congressman from Florida was the subject of a Justice Department investigation over whether he’d had a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old and violated sex trafficking laws, though it is unclear whether he or the White House knew about the inquiry.“The reason the White House denied the pre-emptive pardon for Matt Gaetz is because they thought it would set a bad precedent,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Wednesday. “At the time, they were only interested in setting terrible precedents.”“You know, his advisers, according to Maggie Haberman of The Times, talked him out of a full-throated defense of Gaetz, which is sad, because Matt Gaetz really was the son Donald Trump never had, even though he had a couple.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Do you know how shady you have to be for Number 45’s lawyers to go, ‘No, that’s a bad look. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I just farted on camera, my head is leaking, and I’m late for my press conference outside the crematorium dildo shop.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTStephen Colbert noted how close Gaetz had been to Trump at one point. The congressman wrote in a book that Trump would call him frequently while in office.“[imitating Gaetz] ‘The president has called me everywhere: while I was lurking in the bushes outside of a high school, while I was making fake IDs, even while I was tutoring my girlfriend for the SATs.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Gaetz says the president called him ‘even in the throes of passion (yes, I answered).’ Thinking about Matt Gaetz having sex, I’m in the throes of up.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Blanket-Burning Edition)“Gaetz has denied any wrongdoing, but sources say that just before the previous president left office, Gaetz asked for a blanket pardon. Oh, I don’t think the blanket wants a pardon; I think it wants to be burned — it’s seen too much.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You know you haven’t done anything wrong when you check in with the president to ask for a pardon in case you happen to get accused of a sex crime somewhere down the line.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The pardon request was reportedly seen as a nonstarter at the White House, which is — that’s saying a lot, considering Donald Trump once wanted to nuke a hurricane.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe actress Danielle Brooks talked with Trevor Noah about motherhood, and about playing the legendary gospel singer Mahalia Jackson.The “Saturday Night Live” star Pete Davidson took on Jimmy Fallon in a “Random Instrument Challenge.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightPadma Lakshmi will dish on Season 18 of “Top Chef” on Thursday’s “A Little Late With Lilly Singh.”Also, Check This OutA courtroom sketch of Rodney King testifying at a civil trial in 1994. He had sued the city of Los Angeles. Mary Chaney Family Trust, via Library of CongressThe Library of Congress recently added 200 courtroom sketches of the Rodney King police brutality trials to its collection. “We are drawing history in the making,” one sketch artist said. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Celebrates Joe Biden’s Early-Bird Special

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      Late-night hosts welcomed the news that vaccines would be available to all American adults two weeks ahead of schedule.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.And You Get a Shot!President Biden announced on Tuesday that all American adults would be eligible to get a coronavirus vaccine by April 19, two weeks earlier than his previously stated goal.“Or as Biden calls it: Operation Early-Bird Special,” Jimmy Fallon joked on “The Tonight Show.”“When Joe Biden was running, he promised 100 million shots in 100 days, but we’ve blown past that barrier, baby. The U.S. is now administering about three million shots per day, on average. This administration is delivering pricks in arms. As opposed to the last administration, which delivered armed pricks.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Way to go, Joe! Getting it done early. Although, supporters of the previous president are quick to point out that he was able to finish his entire presidency a whole four years before his original goal.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You know more people are vaccinated when pajama sales go down and Spanx go up.” — JIMMY FALLON“You get a shot! And you get a shot! And you get a shot! Thanks, President Joe-prah!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I have to say, this is going to be a solid plan. You get vaxed on 4/19, then you smoke it up on 4/20.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Opening Day Edition)“Despite warnings from health experts, the Texas Rangers had a full crowd of more than 38,000 people for their home opener. Yeah, when they walked in all of the fans got a Dr. Fauci bobblehead that only shook its head ‘no.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Many of the fans were defiantly maskless. I like that adult men will go to a baseball stadium and wear a glove the whole game, for the one in 98,000 chance they might catch a foul ball. But a mask? No way, out of the question!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“They just couldn’t wait to pee in a trough again.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know how they kept the virus away? They did the wave and they just fanned it all the way to Arkansas.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It was a strange game. It was the first time umpires were trying to get themselves thrown out.” — JIMMY FALLON“For those keeping score, the Rangers lost 6-2. So you can understand why the fans were excited: They only have 80 more chances this season to see the Rangers lose at home.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingTrevor Noah broke down the pros and cons of vaccine passports on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJulien Baker will perform a track from her latest album, “Little Oblivions,” on Wednesday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This Out“Kung Fu,” a new show on the CW, stars Olivia Liang as an American college student who drops out to train at a monastery in China.Kailey Schwerman/CWThe CW’s “Kung Fu” reboot hopes to right the wrongs of its 1970s predecessor with a female lead and predominantly Asian-American cast. More

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      Late Night Doesn’t Buy Republicans’ Corporate Boycotts

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      Stephen Colbert suggested Donald Trump’s followers get comfortable with going generic: “I hope you like Great Value Bat and Ball Product and Kirkland Signature Airlines.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Jim Crow 2.0’Several major companies and organizations with ties to Georgia have come out against the state’s restrictive new voter laws, including Delta, Coca-Cola and Major League Baseball, which pulled its All-Star Game from suburban Atlanta in protest.On Monday’s “Late Show,” Stephen Colbert explained how the laws make voting more complicated and less accessible, especially for Black voters.“And it’s sure not a great look that Georgia governor Brian Kemp signed it behind closed doors guarded by state troopers, surrounded by white men while sitting under a painting of a slave plantation,” Colbert said. “He then celebrated by watching ‘Gone With the Wind’ and singing all the words to ‘Gold Digger.’”“It is so blatantly racist that it’s been dubbed ‘Jim Crow 2.0.’ 2.0, really? Georgia’s passed so many voter-suppression measures, they’ve got to be up to at least Jim Crow Snow Leopard.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And you know it’s bad when the organization that includes the Atlanta Braves and the Cleveland Indians says you’re too racist. That’s like Matt Gaetz telling you to date your own age.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Meanwhile, the Braves were like, ‘Phew, I can’t believe this had nothing to do with our team name, tomahawk logo or chant.’” — JIMMY FALLONRepublicans upset by the corporate backlash include Donald J. Trump, who issued a statement saying that he would join a boycott of M.L.B. and Coca-Cola, among others.“Together, that constitutes a sector of the economy experts call, ‘the economy.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“His supporters are going to have to go generic. I hope you like Great Value Bat and Ball Product, and Kirkland Signature Airlines.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And now Republicans say they’re going to boycott baseball. They’re already boycotting the N.F.L. and the N.B.A. Soon their only sports will be golf and jarts.” — JIMMY FALLON“And honestly you’ve got to feel for the G.O.P., because they spend so much time defending corporate interests, trying to cut corporate taxes, letting corporations do whatever they want, and then the corporations are just like, ‘Cool, now we have more money to pay Colin Kaepernick.’” — TREVOR NOAH“But this is tough for these corporations, too. I mean, they must really miss the old days — you know, when they didn’t have to take sides on voting rights or culture wars. You know, they just made diapers out of asbestos and that was that.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Not the Diet Coke Edition)“Now Donald Trump calling for a boycott of Coca-Cola is beautiful. He had a Diet Coke button on his desk in the Oval Office. The man urinates aspartame, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“What are the chances that Donald Trump actually gives up Diet Coke or his bald head medicine? None, but he wants you to.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If he needs a pick-me-up, he’ll have to ask Don Jr. to share his supply of Coke Classic.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Cheer up, Republicans, you can’t watch football, baseball, or basketball or NASCAR anymore, but you can still watch Donald Trump play golf and drink Coke.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingIn response to backlash over a recent segment featuring the TikTok star Addison Rae performing some of the app’s most famous choreographed routines, Jimmy Fallon hosted the original creators on Monday night’s show.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe singer-songwriter Brandi Carlile will chat about her new memoir, “Broken Horses,” on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutTwo years ago, Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” remix featuring Billy Ray Cyrus made him a star. Now he’s back with another No. 1 song.Valerie Macon/Agence France-Presse — Getty ImagesLil Nas X’s controversial new single, “Montero (Call Me by Your Name),” debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard charts. More

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      Stephen Colbert Is Skeptical of Putin’s Best Wishes for Biden

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      “That is ominous,” Colbert said of Vladimir Putin’s wishing the president “good health” on Thursday. “But then again, when Putin says anything, it kind of sounds ominous.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.From Putin, With LovePresident Vladimir V. Putin of Russia responded to President Biden’s comments this week about his being a killer by saying on Thursday that “it takes one to know one” and that he wished Biden “good health,” clarifying that it was without irony or insinuation.Stephen Colbert took glee in the trading of barbs, saying, “Someone dust off Dolph Lundgren and get him hunting for Red October because the Cold War is back on, baby, and this time we’re gonna waterboard Billy Joel until he tells us who started the fire.”“Putin is famous for being a killer. It’s kind of his thing, along with horses and nipples.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So not going with a denial. Interesting.” — JAMES CORDEN“He’s killed so many people that in 2017, The Washington Post was able to publish a list of 10 critics of Vladimir Putin who died violently or in suspicious ways. His greatest hits are hits.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“As if the pandemic wasn’t enough, let’s throw in tension with a nuclear enemy into the mix.” — JIMMY FALLON“That is ominous. But then again, when Putin says anything, it kind of sounds ominous.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Putin has poisoned infector sushi, he’s thrown journalists out of windows, he’s tried to assassinate his most vocal domestic critic, Aleksei Navalny, by putting the lethal nerve agent Novichok in his underpants. It was an episode of Putin’s prank show, ‘Murdered.’”— STEPHEN COLBERT“But it is funny that Putin had to clarify that he is not joking when he wishes Biden good health. Because, let’s face it: The man has killed so many people, everybody assumes that is what he means.” — TREVOR NOAH“In other words, if you know what’s good for you, don’t drink the chamomile tea.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (March Madness Edition)“The N.C.A.A. March Madness basketball tournament began today, and it’s extra exciting because there was no tournament last year. So this is my first chance in two years to get furious at 19-year-olds I hadn’t heard of five minutes ago.” — SETH MEYERS“This is the year that answers the question, ‘How do you have an office pool when there’s no one at the office?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, everyone is doing their office pools. Of course, this year that means it’s you against your wife, your 2-year-old and your dog. ‘Rusty, you picked Gonzaga, too?’” — JIMMY FALLON“President Obama went out on a limb. He took No. 1 seed Gonzaga to go all the way, which is interesting when you consider that Gonzaga, as I have pointed out in the past, is not even a school. it doesn’t exist — it’s imaginary. They made it up to win basketball tournaments. It’s a pretend place. It’s like Wakanda for white people.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingMichelle Obama and Jimmy Fallon crashed random Zoom meetings on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutCynthia Erivo, a Grammy and Tony winner, portrays Aretha Franklin in Season 3 of “Genius,” including all the singing.Richard Ducree/National Geographic, via Associated PressCynthia Erivo shines as the soul singer Aretha Franklin in Season 3 of National Geographic’s bio-anthology “Genius: Aretha.” More

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      Stephen Colbert Mocks Republicans’ Suspicious Minds on Vaccines

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      “Despite vaccines becoming more available, there’s still one thing holding Americans back: Americans,” Colbert lamented on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Calling TrumpStephen Colbert gave an update on the Covid-19 vaccination campaign on Tuesday night, lamenting that progress has been slow with a certain group of people.“Despite vaccines becoming more available, there’s still one thing holding Americans back: Americans,” Colbert deadpanned before launching into reports that Republicans were refusing vaccines in high percentages.“Because in a CBS poll, a third of Republicans said they would not be vaccinated. Come on, Republicans! Not everything is political. How do we convince you that you want it? Would it feel safer if the vaccine was administered by an AR-15?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Many of the Republicans polled cited ‘distrust of government’ as a reason to not be vaccinated. They worry the vaccines were produced too quickly. Duh! It was produced quickly because all of science dropped everything because your president wanted them to, and they did everything right with clinical trials! You wouldn’t stand in front of your burning house and tell the Fire Department, ‘Hold on, there, hold on — you fellas got here suspiciously fast.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“One potential side effect of the coronavirus vaccine is that people are exposed to the idea that government can get things done.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThere have been suggestions that Donald Trump, who did not appear with the four other living former presidents in a recent ad promoting the vaccines, should do more to encourage his supporters to get inoculated.“I don’t know why Trump isn’t promoting the vaccine. I mean, maybe he doesn’t want to help Joe Biden end the pandemic. You know, maybe he’s still trying to unload all that hydroxychloroquine that he bought last summer. The question is, why are Republicans so hesitant to get the vaccine in the first place? Well, it might be because their most trusted friends are telling them it can’t be trusted.” — TREVOR NOAH“And I can’t say that I’m surprised that Trump isn’t making an effort to get people vaccinated. I mean, the man barely did his job when he had his job; you think he’s going to start working now? For free?” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sister Act Edition)“But President Biden has been trying to reach out to North Korea for weeks. Kim Jong-un isn’t having it. I don’t know if he’s tried sending a love letter — I hear Kim is really into those.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“At first I thought the reason for the lack of response might be that Kim Jong-un uses a fax machine, but then I remembered Biden does, too, so.” — JIMMY FALLON“After a long period of silence, Kim Jong-un’s sister, Khloé Jong-un — or, I mean, is it Kourtney? Kourtney Jong-un lashed out.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“She warned the Biden administration that if it wants peace it had better, quote, ‘refrain from causing a stink at its first step. We take this opportunity to warn the new U.S. administration trying hard to give off powder smell in our land.’ I’m sure it sounds more threatening in Korean.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You don’t need to ask the ‘No malarkey’ guy to not cause a stink. He’s got it covered.” — JAMES CORDEN“That’s not how you talk to another country, is it? That’s how you talk to a spouse right before you go to a dinner party. You’re like: ‘Please avoid talking to Hank about politics. I don’t want you causing a stink.’” — JAMES CORDEN“Also I like that Kim Jong-un had his sister deliver the message. It’s like North Korea’s version of ‘I heard a noise in America; go check it out.’” — JIMMY FALLON“By the way, it’s rare that a dictator’s sibling speaks out. I don’t remember reading about any stern warnings from Lois Hitler.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s funny because North Korea thinks these statements they make are sick burns but they always sound like riddles instead. It’s like: ‘If you wish to cross the bridge, be wise not to anger us like the cat who swallowed mushrooms unwashed.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, nice try, North Korea, but we’re America — we haven’t slept well for the past five years.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Late Night” writers Jenny Hagel and Amber Ruffin poke fun at the Utah Black History Museum and myths that vaccines can turn people gay in Tuesday’s return of “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe actress Laverne Cox will pop by Wednesday’s “A Little Late With Lilly Singh.”Also, Check This Out“I’m finally being honest with myself,” the singer Demi Lovato said.Ryan Pfluger for The New York TimesThe singer Demi Lovato opened up to The New York Times about her queerness, her near fatal overdose and her journey to living her truth. “I’m ready to feel like myself,” she said. More