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      Late Night Is Still Waiting for Trump’s Medical Report

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      Kamala Harris’s health is said to be “excellent,” but the nation has yet to hear about Donald Trump’s. “Do you really want to see his X-rays?” said Stephen Colbert.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Can Walk Up Stairs’Kamala Harris released a medical report on Saturday, wherein the vice president’s doctor stated that she was in “excellent health.”“It’s great that just the words ‘excellent health’ kind of feel like a dig at Donald Trump,” Stephen Colbert said on Monday.“They should follow that up with ‘can walk up stairs’ and ‘is potty trained.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“According to a letter from Harris’s physician, ‘She possesses the physical and mental resiliency required to successfully execute the duties of the presidency, to include those as chief executive, head of state and commander in chief.’ Yeah! That’s impressive. That’s a hell of a doctor’s note. After my last physical, Dr. Shaker just wrote, ‘can continue to host “The Late Show,” maybe sit down for monologue?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“According to the doctor, Harris works out daily and eats healthy. OK, but politicians are supposed to be relatable to Americans. We do not eat healthy. Has she forgotten the immortal words of Thomas Jefferson in the Declaration of Independence: ‘Love that chicken from Popeyes’?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You know who hasn’t released his medical records? Donald Trump, which Harris pointed out. [audience boos] Do you really want to see his X-rays?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Pay-Per-View Edition)“Trump has not released his medical report. He has not released his medical report, he has not released his tax returns, his health care plan. He hasn’t released his sports bra for months. But he was up at 1:12 a.m. posting, ‘I believe it is very important that Kamala Harris pass a test on cognitive stamina and agility.’ The guy who’s up in the middle of the night reading tweets about himself wants to give someone else a cognitive test.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If you’re too scared to debate again, I dare you to take a cognitive test against the vice president. Let’s see how you do. You could charge people for it if you want. Make it a pay-per-view. I will pay you $49.99 to watch that.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He won’t even release his blood pressure.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Smile 2” star Naomi Scott taught Kimmel and Guillermo Rodriguez how to nail a creepy grin on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe “Shrinking” star Jason Segel will visit “The Late Show.”Also, Check This OutChad Unger for The New York TimesIn Los Angeles, Deaf West’s revival of Green Day’s “American Idiot” musical finds ways to communicate its rage and angst through sign language. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Debunks the Government-Hurricane-Control Theory

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      “The only person who can control the weather is Beyoncé,” Kimmel said on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Eye of the StormMeteorologists in Florida and North Carolina have been facing death threats and angry messages from viewers who think they are complicit in a Democratic-led plot to direct hurricanes toward Republican voting districts.Jimmy Kimmel was flabbergasted on Thursday by this “bonkers idea.” He said, “Donald Trump has pushed us to the point where we can’t even agree on the weather. What a stupid time to be alive.”“And of course, before the storm even hit, the Trumpers were blaming the White House for all this, which is interesting because two weeks ago, 11 House Republicans from Florida voted against keeping the government and FEMA fully funded. Then, when Hurricane Helene came to visit, they all signed a letter asking President Biden for federal funding. This is how it goes now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Has anyone thought about unplugging America and plugging it back in again? ’Cause it could use a reboot.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Donald Trump should be forced to live on an island with all these people. Listen, dummies, the government can’t control the weather. The only person who can control the weather is Beyoncé.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (25 Days Until the Election Edition)“You guys, Election Day is only 25 days away. Just think, in 25 days, Trump will either be saying he won or saying he didn’t lose.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, 25 days. Trump just got an election Advent calendar that gives him a new conspiracy theory every day: [imitating Trump] ‘Ooh, immigrants are stealing our Hulu passwords. They’re watching “Murders in the Building” for free.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The polls say it is a tossup. It might ultimately come down to which candidate can deliver a new R.V. to Clarence Thomas first.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingEric Idle of Monty Python discussed his new book, “The Spamalot Diaries,” with Jordan Klepper on Thursday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutLaura Dern and Liam Hemsworth in “Lonely Planet.”Anne Marie Fox/NetflixLaura Dern and Liam Hemsworth have a May/December romance in “Lonely Planet,” from the writer-director Susannah Grant. More

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      Seth Meyers Is Starting to Wonder About Trump and Putin

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      A book says Donald Trump sent Covid testing equipment to the Russian leader. Meyers suspects he threw in “some snacks, a bath bomb and a CD.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Testing, TestingFormer President Donald Trump has denied a report in a new book that he sent Covid testing machines to Vladimir Putin for his personal use during the pandemic, but Seth Meyers wasn’t buying it on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”“How did Trump send them? Was it part of a care package with some snacks, a bath bomb and a CD that said ‘Mixtape for Vlad from Don: My heart is loyal only to you’?”— SETH MEYERS“People were quarantining, contact tracing, seeking medical care. I know you weren’t doing that since you were basically a Typhoid Gary who would hold superspreader events at the White House, and then when you yourself got Covid, took a joyride in an S.U.V. like you were an off-brand pope.” — SETH MEYERS, addressing Trump“Trump was telling Americans that Covid testing was overrated on the exact same day he was telling Vladimir Putin he was sending him his best Covid tests — his [expletive] Glengarry Covid tests.” — SETH MEYERS“To be fair, lots of people in Putin’s circle were suddenly dying: [imitating Putin] ‘Falling from balcony is very common Covid symptom.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Kamala’s Media Blitz Edition)“So with less than a month to go, both campaigns are going all out — starting with Democratic nominee Kamala Harris, who has been everywhere recently: news shows, daytime talk shows, satellite radio, podcasts, your kid’s piano recital — she applauded, but seriously, ‘Chopsticks’? I mean, you can do better, Arlo.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Meanwhile, today, Trump complained that CBS edited Kamala Harris’s interview on ‘60 Minutes’ to make her look better. Trump said, ‘It was clearly edited. She didn’t say one thing about people eating pets in Ohio. Not one. Didn’t even mention it.’” — JIMMY FALLON“In a new interview with radio host Howard Stern, Vice President Kamala Harris said that she doesn’t really take naps, setting up a clear contrast with President Biden, who took one mid-debate.” — SETH MEYERS“During the same interview with Howard Stern, Vice President Kamala Harris said that she usually eats a bowl of Raisin Bran or Special K for breakfast, whereas her opponent, as we all know, is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingQuinta Brunson, the “Abbott Elementary” creator and star, dished on her series’ crossover episode with “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJordan Peele will promote his revival of the horror-themed hidden-camera reality series “Scare Tactics” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This Out“Unknown American” is a portrait from the 1940s to 1950s.The Metropolitan Museum of Art, Twentieth-Century Photography FundThe Met Gala’s 2025 theme, “Superfine: Tailoring Black Style,” is the museum’s first fashion exhibition to focus solely on the work of designers of color. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: Putin Is Trump’s ‘KGBFF’

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      Kimmel shared tidbits from Bob Woodward’s new book, including that Donald Trump had spoken with Vladimir Putin seven times since leaving office — “which is less than Ivanka, but more than Tiffany.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.KGBFF 4-EverIn his new book, “War,” the journalist Bob Woodward reported that former President Donald Trump had spoken to Vladimir Putin as many as seven times since leaving office. Woodward also wrote that Trump sent the Russian president Covid-19 testing equipment in 2020, at a time it was hard to find, for personal use.“You wouldn’t want one of the most villainous murderers on the planet to get a cough, would you?” Jimmy Kimmel joked of Trump’s “KGBFF” on Tuesday.“I mean, nurses, doctors, American hospitals couldn’t get these machines — he’s sending them to the devil himself.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The book says Trump has spoken to Vladimir Putin seven times since he left office, which is less than Ivanka, but more than Tiffany. It’s right in that daughter sweet spot.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s how you know they’re tight. Adult men never call each other. I haven’t called my best friend seven times total.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump once made a senior aide leave the room so he could have a ‘private’ call with Putin, which: [imitating Putin] ‘Hello, Donald, what are you wearing? I’m shirtless on my horse again.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So, Trump was secretly giving sound medical advice to a foreign adversary while publicly convincing Americans to poison themselves with bleach. I’ve got to say, most presidents would do that the other way around, but hey, you do you, Trump.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (Category 5 Edition)“Wow, Donald, you’ve never heard of a Category 5 hurricane hitting land? That’s weird, because I remember one happening while you were president.” — JORDAN KLEPPER, on Trump’s spotty recollection“He was probably busy with Kanye during that one.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He did get his meteorologist degree from Trump University.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“For all you people who think he is in mental decline, it turns out he’s been the same level of stupidity for years.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Bits Worth WatchingVice President Kamala Harris cracked open a beer during her sit-down with Stephen Colbert on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightRiley Keough will promote the new posthumous memoir by her mother, Lisa Marie Presley, on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutLyle Menendez in a scene from the documentary “The Menendez Brothers.”NetflixDespite promising exclusive new interviews, Netflix’s new documentary “The Menendez Brothers” relies on the tabloid appeal surrounding renewed interest in the 1989 murder. More

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      Seth Meyers: Trump Rallies Are Like an Escape Room

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      “Generally speaking, if you’re at an event and the host of that event keeps insisting no one is going to leave, it is time to start worrying,” Meyers said on Monday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Escaping TrumpDonald Trump, whose campaign speeches have been getting longer, says it isn’t true that people have been leaving his rallies early, despite video evidence to the contrary.Seth Meyers spent a fair amount of time dissecting those denials on Monday’s “Late Night.” He said it was all part of the former president’s elaborate plan to promote his “brand-new Trump escape room.”“[imitating Trump] Also, even if they tried to leave, they can’t because we’ve replaced the regular stairs with M.C. Escher stairs.” — SETH MEYERS“Generally speaking, if you’re at an event and the host of that event keeps insisting no one is going to leave, it is time to start worrying.” — SETH MEYERS“His rallies have almost doubled in length; that’s Trump’s gravest sin as an entertainer. He doesn’t know when to get off the stage. You’re supposed to leave them wanting more. Trump leaves them wanting out.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Dark MAGA Edition)“This weekend, former President Trump held a rally in Pennsylvania, and Elon Musk joined him onstage. It was exciting for all the Trump supporters because, for the first time, they got to see an actual billionaire.” — JIMMY FALLON“During the rally, Trump praised Elon Musk for saving free speech with X, and Elon praised Trump for making Truth Social so bad that people still use X.” — JIMMY FALLON“He’s acting like a guy who won a radio contest: ‘I can’t believe I get to bid on the washer-dryer!’” — JON STEWART, on Musk jumping up and down at the rally“Dude’s jumping like he’s trying to reach the rope ladder on a rescue helicopter: ‘This rally sucks, get me out of here!’” — SETH MEYERS“That is the reason you don’t give kids Mountain Dew.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Elon Musk spoke at former President Trump’s rally in Pennsylvania, wore a black MAGA hat and said, ‘As you can see, I’m not just MAGA, I’m dark MAGA.’ And when I heard that, I cringed so hard I momentarily had abs.” — SETH MEYERS“This guy thinks he’s dark? Dude, you’re the whitest person ever born. You’re the same color they paint apartments after someone moves out.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingGov. Tim Walz, Kamala Harris’s running mate, discussed his past life as a social studies teacher and lunchroom supervisor on Monday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightStephen Colbert will interview Harris on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutChappell Roan has turned songs like “Casual” and “Red Wine Supernova” into cheeky anthems. Jason Kempin/Getty ImagesThe pop star Chappell Roan is navigating stardom with a critical eye on fame. More

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      Late Night Heaps Scorn on Trump’s Latest Defense

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      Jimmy Kimmel said Donald Trump was “partially right” in denying interference in the 2020 election: “He tried to rig the election and failed to rig the election.’Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Rignoramus’A newly unsealed court filing in the special counsel’s case against former President Donald Trump detailed attempts at election interference in 2020. Trump refuted those claims, saying that it wasn’t he who rigged the election, “they did.”“He’s actually right about some of that; he didn’t rig the election. He tried to rig the election and failed to rig the election. He’s a rignoramus, is what he is.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“What a baby. That’s just as bad as Jeffrey Dahmer’s famous defense, ‘No, you ate my neighbor!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I know this is going to sound controversial, but I’m just going to come out and say it: I think Trump might have done something wrong.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (October Surprise Edition)“A federal judge yesterday unsealed a 165-page motion detailing evidence against former President Trump in his election interference case. OK, well, there’s only one way he’s reading 165 pages, and it’s at the Cheesecake Factory.” — SETH MEYERS“According to the filing, Trump told the staff that he was going to declare victory regardless of the results. Vladimir Putin heard and was like, ‘[imitating Putin] My little man is growing up.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The news of Trump’s alleged crimes are being called an ‘October surprise,’ while most Americans were like, ‘Um, we’re not that surprised.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingDemi Lovato and Jimmy Fallon shrieked their way through a new haunted house experience, “Tonightmares.”Also, Check This OutSaoirse Ronan in “The Outrun.”Martin Scott Powell/Sony Pictures ClassicsSaoirse Ronan delivers another stunning performance as an alcoholic desperately clinging to sobriety. More

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      Late Night Sums Up a Strangely Chill VP Debate

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      Jimmy Fallon said viewers “were expecting a horror movie, but instead, they got a Hallmark movie.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Debate and SwitchLate-night hosts continued to recap the vice-presidential debate on Wednesday.Jimmy Fallon called it “the craziest debate yet — they actually talked about policy.”“Yeah, this debate turned out to be polite, friendly and intimate — it was jarring. Basically, people were expecting a horror movie, but instead, they got a Hallmark movie.” — JIMMY FALLON“Most people felt that JD Vance had a solid debate. Republicans saw that and were, like, ‘Hey, could we pull a Biden and just go with this guy?’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right. Most polls found that JD Vance won the debate. However, all those polls were taken at a Sephora.” — JIMMY FALLON“Great, the entire debate was pointless and irrelevant. So, in a way, it really did prepare them to be vice president.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“In his closing statement at last night’s debate, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz thanked viewers for missing ‘Dancing with the Stars.’ For those who are unfamiliar, it’s a reality competition show that will hopefully feature JD Vance next season.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trump Backs Out Edition)“Former President Trump broke a 50-year tradition for presidential candidates after he backed out of his scheduled interview with ‘60 Minutes’ because he was worried they’d fact-check him. So if you’re keeping track, Trump said that he’ll stand up to the president of China, but Lesley Stahl is a little too scary.” — JIMMY FALLON“You’d think these guys would be embarrassed to be so against fact-checking. You know, if you include some facts in your sentences when you speak, there’ll be nothing to check.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He won’t do ‘60 Minutes,’ but if there is a group of doofuses in flat-brimmed hats with a podcast where they call him ‘Bro,’ he will be happy to plug your energy drink on that.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingIna Garten discussed her new memoir over cosmopolitans with Stephen Colbert on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightPaul Reiser will pop by “Late Night” on Thursday to promote his new buddy comedy, “The Problem With People.”Also, Check This OutSarah Snook won an Olivier Award for “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” which ran in London this year.Marc BrennerThe “Succession” standout Sarah Snook will play all 26 characters in a one-woman stage production of “The Picture of Dorian Gray.” More

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      Late Night Goes Live After a ‘Dull’ Vice-Presidential Debate

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      Stephen Colbert was unenthused by Tuesday’s discourse between Tim Walz and JD Vance.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Two ‘Different Flavors of Dull’“The Late Show” went live Tuesday night after the vice-presidential debate.Stephen Colbert found the debate boring, saying that JD Vance and Tim Walz “were both different flavors of dull.”“JD Vance looked like a business lemur on beta-blockers, and Tim Walz was, you know, the old likable coach but appeared to be way overcaffeinated. I think the governor done overdid doing the Dew.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It was the ultimate showdown tonight between two very different Midwestern vibes. Hillbilly vs. Minnesota nice; attack dog vs. folk hero; America’s dad vs. America’s ‘Dad, could you come pick me up? JD Vance just walked in here.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“These two men were both a heartbeat away from being interesting this evening.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“In the end, it was 90 minutes of constant talk that made one thing clear: Tonight was like having Thanksgiving with your most nervous uncle and your smuggest nephew. It was unpleasant, awkward and, thankfully, you only have to do it once every four years.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Almost Famous Edition)“Yep, people you’ve barely heard of on a national stage. Usually we call that ‘Dancing With the Stars.’” — JIMMY FALLON“One of these men will lose, and we’ll never hear from him again, and the other one will become V.P. and we’ll never hear from him again.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“The only other V.P. debate anyone remembers is the time that fly got stuck on Mike Pence’s head. The bar is low.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“They showed each other a lot of respect. It was — it was very boring. I’ll be honest: I like these better with Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I don’t know that anyone’s vote was changed tonight. Watching a vice-presidential debate — it’s like taking your kids apple picking: About halfway through, you’re like, ‘OK, you know what? This sounded like it was going to be fun, but what’s the point?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I read that ahead of the debate, Tim Walz has been nervous that he was going to let Kamala Harris down. Yeah, Harris was like, ‘Don’t worry — if Joe Biden can be replaced, so can you.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Hold Your Breath” star Sarah Paulson faced off against Jimmy Fallon in a new game called “Mute!” on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightBen Platt and Brandy Clark will perform their new song “Treehouse” on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutRobert Downey Jr. goes dark in “McNeal,” a thought experiment about art and A.I., at the Vivian Beaumont Theater in Manhattan.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesRobert Downey Jr. made his Broadway debut in Ayad Akhtar’s new play, “McNeal.” More