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    Seth Meyers Thinks Trump Shouldn’t Be So Set on That Jet

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    “We are, as of this taping, still a democracy with a rule of law,” Meyers said. “The president shouldn’t have a flying gold-plated party palace.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Size QueenPresident Donald Trump defended his choice to accept a jet from Qatar, saying that America should have the biggest, most impressive plane out of all the countries.“No, we shouldn’t,” Seth Meyers argued on Wednesday. “We are, as of this taping, still a democracy with a rule of law. The president shouldn’t have a flying gold-plated party palace.”“Stuff like that is a sign of corruption. That’s why Las Vegas looks like that — it was built by criminals.” — SETH MEYERS“The point is, they have nicer planes because they’re not democracies; they’re royal kingdoms, where they oppress people and use the public’s money to build opulent palaces for their rulers. We don’t do that here. If you ask me, the president should be forced to fly the same way the rest of us do. He should have to sit at Newark for six hours nursing a $30 Bloody Mary, and chewing on a pretzel while he waits for the one on-duty air traffic controller’s hands to stop shaking.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump should have a big plane because Trump definitely does not have a little plane. It’s definitely at least an average American male plane.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Plus, I will tell you what, a lot of countries say that a smaller plane is actually more comfortable for longer rides.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“We still talking about planes? Look where we are on the tarmac next to each other. I know you’re not supposed to just look straight ahead, but I took a little peek over there, a little peek over there. Cockpit was huge, man!” — JORDAN KLEPPER“I’m sorry, why does the president need any of this? Air Force One is supposed to be technologically advanced, not luxurious. It’s designed so the president can get national security briefings anywhere in the world, not so he can chill on leather couches and use nine different bathrooms — which, by the way, he might need to do on the way home based on the fact that the Saudis set up a custom-built mobile McDonald’s in anticipation of Trump’s visit.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Humps for Trump Edition)“When Trump landed in Qatar, he was escorted by a fleet of Cybertrucks, Arabian horses and camels. And even the horses and camels were laughing at the Cybertruck.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, Trump was welcomed by horses and camels. He was like, ‘I love the horses and the sexier horses.’” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night is Happy President Trump Has Left the Country

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      Jordan Klepper suggested that someone lock the doors while President Trump is in the Middle East this week.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Lock Him Out!President Trump arrived in Saudi Arabia on Tuesday for the first stop of a four-day Middle East trip.Stephen Colbert celebrated, saying, “Yes, Donald Trump left the country today, so I got another birthday wish.” On “The Daily Show,” Jordan Klepper suggested that “someone lock the [expletive] doors.”“He landed in Riyadh this morning, where he got a lavish welcome, greeted by Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman on a sumptuous carpet, purple, made out of hand-harvested journalist nurple.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You know Trump’s looking at the carpet, going, ‘These things fly here, right?’” — JORDAN KLEPPER“The crown prince pulled out all the stops to make Trump feel at home, even providing an actual mobile McDonald’s semi truck. This is true. Yes. Of course, one of the most rewarding things about traveling the globe is getting the chance to sample the local nugget truck.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You got to hand it to the Saudis, though, they know the fastest way to Trump’s heart is through his stomach, out the colon, with a little bit staying behind in his arteries.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Regardless, you know what? It was a very nice start to this trip abroad, where he’ll visit not just Saudi Arabia, but then Qatar and the U.A.E. But you might be wondering, why did Trump pick these countries for his first foreign trip? Well, there’s a strong geopolitical balance of — I’m [expletive] with you. Corruption!” — JORDAN KLEPPER“The Trump boys have projects in all three countries. I never thought I’d say this, but can’t these countries go back to doing something more constructive, like funding terrorism?” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (From Shady to Sus Edition)“President Trump tonight attended a Saudi state dinner. OK, well, just so you know, it’s going to be a lot of stuff you’ve never tried, like kabsa and mandi and forks.” — SETH MEYERS“Well, guys, today, President Trump arrived in Saudi Arabia for the first leg of his trip to the Middle East. Yeah, it was a big day. Saudi Arabia’s crown prince met with America’s Burger King.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Grades Trump’s First 100 Days in Office

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      “It’s been an historic 100 days — some would say prehistoric,” said Jimmy Kimmel.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.100 Down, Roughly 1,300 to GoPresident Trump’s 100th day in office was the talk of late night on Tuesday.On “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” the host said (perhaps not sincerely) that he’d had “a day of revelry and jubilation.”“We have 100 days behind us and only 13 more hundred days to go. It’s been an historic 100 days — some would say prehistoric.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Today was President Trump’s 100th day in office. Well, 100th day as president, fourth day in office.” — SETH MEYERS“Yes, it has been 100 days of Trump in the Oval Office. I mean that figuratively. Obviously, he spent lots of those days in the steam room at Mar-a-Lago.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“It is difficult to give Trump’s first 100 days a grade, but if I had to, I’d say it falls somewhere between ‘F’ and ‘U.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Let’s be honest: It’s been a bumpy ride. I mean, who knew renaming the Gulf of Mexico might actually be his high point?” — JIMMY FALLON“To mark 100 days in office, Trump kicked off a multiday media blitz that the White House is framing as a victory lap. Yep, and now all he needs is a victory.” — JIMMY FALLON“And the whole 100 days thing started back in 1933, right, when F.D.R.’s extraordinary productivity set a first-100-days standard against which all future presidents would be measured. And I think it’s appropriate to compare him to F.D.R., because Trump is well on his way to bringing back polio.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Mark Carney Edition)“With Carney’s victory, Canadians rejected his younger, much Trumpier opponent, Pierre Poilievre, which must be a relief for Trump, ’cause now he never has to try to say that guy’s name.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Don’t mess with Canada. They may be polite. You tick them off, they’re like John Wick after they killed his dog.” — JIMMY KIMMEL”You take that, Trump. That’s what happens when you mess with a country whose national pastime is ‘bar fight on ice.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But, yes, thanks to Trump, the Liberal Party just pulled off a historic comeback, winning all the major Canadian demographics: hockey moms, hockey dads, hockey non-binaries, hockey seniors, hockey hockey players, and, of course, hot Ryans.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Bits Worth WatchingWill Ferrell and Stephen Colbert “Rickrolled” viewers during Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJohn Cale and Maggie Rogers will perform together on “Everybody’s Live With Mulaney.”Also, Check This OutNearly three hours long, the concert was a characteristic Beyoncé epic.The New York TimesBeyoncé’s Cowboy Carter Tour, kicking off on Monday night in Inglewood, Calif., transformed the star’s personal and musical reclamation into a joyful extravaganza. More

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      Late Night Gives Trump’s Education Agency Shutdown a Failing Grade

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      “Trump famously said he loves the poorly educated, and now he will have so many more people to love,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.This Wasn’t on the SyllabusOn Thursday, President Trump signed an executive order gutting the Department of Education.“They say ignorance is bliss,” Jimmy Kimmel remarked during that night’s monologue.“I know it sounds like a joke, but it’s not. Trump famously said he loves the poorly educated, and now he will have so many more people to love.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump signed the order during an event at the White House they invited a group of children to attend. They’re like ‘Hey, kids, who hates school?’ And they’re like ‘Well, we do!’ and they said, ‘Well, good news, it’s over.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The idea behind this is to let the states come up with their own educational standards. For instance, from here on, in order to receive a high school diploma in Florida, all you have to do is complete the maze on the back of the kids’ menu at Fuddruckers.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Today, President Trump signed an executive order to shut down the Department of Education. It’s a historic move that years from now kids will not read about in history textbooks.” — JIMMY FALLON“President Trump signed an order today to dismantle the Department of Education. Yep. Soon employees will be reading their pink slips at a third-grade level.” — GREG GUTFELD“Meanwhile, one angry ex-employee claims it was the worst thing to happen since Nazis won the Civil War.” — GREG GUTFELDThe Punchiest Punchlines (D.E.I. Takedown Edition)“Yesterday, the Department of Defense, as part of their war against woke, removed a page about Jackie Robinson’s distinguished military career. They pulled it down. A spokesperson for the Pentagon said, ‘We do not view or highlight them’ — not sure what he means by them, but — ‘through the prism of immutable characteristics such as race, ethnicity or sex.’ Right, Jackie Robinson was just a baseball player; nothing special about him. Rosa Parks just loved to ride the bus. She was a commuter.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Imagine how racist you have to be to be racist against Jackie Robinson today.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Don’t blame us — blame our racist software. We should have never used ChatKKK. Classic mistake.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“I don’t get it: How can something like this happen under the president who’s done more for Black people than Abraham Lincoln?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingBob Mould performed his new single on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutFlannery O’Connor’s caricature of an aristocratic couple. The darkly comic Southern writer Flannery O’Connor was (quietly) a visual artist, too. A new exhibition in Georgia showcases 70 of her pieces. More

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      Late Night Tackles the Attacks on Tesla

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      Jordan Klepper said no one should be blowing up Elon Musk’s cars, “especially because if you just wait a few minutes, they’ll probably do it by themselves.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Where There’s SmokeIn recent weeks, Tesla has been targeted by vandals, who have set the company’s cars on fire and defaced dealership storefronts with messages criticizing Elon Musk, its owner. On Wednesday’s “Daily Show,” Jordan Klepper said no one should be blowing up Teslas — “especially because if you just wait a few minutes, they’ll probably do it by themselves.”On Fox News this week, Musk spoke with Sean Hannity and, Klepper said, “made the case for his victimhood.”“I shouldn’t have to explain this to Elon, but it’s not about the Teslas. Teslas are actually pretty cool as a car. It’s got that all-glass thing going on, kind of like a popemobile that [expletive]. It’s got door handles that are hard to find, which is what everybody wants in a door handle. Everything in the car is electronic, so if it malfunctions, you just drown in it, you know? It’s like a free coffin. It’s cool!” — JORDAN KLEPPER“I don’t think people, though, are mad at you because of the Teslas, Elon. If I were to hazard a guess about why they’d be mad, it might be because, in the last several weeks, you fired tens of thousands of federal workers, you made cuts to veterans’ care, lifesaving foreign aid and food banks.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Or, here — here’s another guess: Maybe people are mad at you because you don’t seem to know what the [expletive] you’re doing!” — JORDAN KLEPPER“And here’s the thing: I get that people are upset. Burning a car might not be great for the environment. I don’t think that’s what they had in mind when they invented the electric car.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Let me see if I can explain it for you: When you pull out a chain saw to celebrate firing thousands of people, they get mad.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (J.F.K. Files Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Parodies Trump’s Podcast-Length Call with Putin

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      The “Tonight Show” host said President Trump had spent most of the call “trying to sell Putin a Cybertruck.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.To and From Russia With LovePresident Trump and Vladimir Putin had a nearly three-hour phone conversation on Tuesday, during which Putin said he’d agree to a partial cease-fire in Russia’s war against Ukraine.On “The Tonight Show,” Jimmy Fallon said that Trump spent most of the call “trying to sell Putin a Cybertruck.””[imitating Trump] Think of it as a mini-tank with a mind of its own.” — JIMMY FALLON“Three hours. That’s not a phone call, that’s a podcast: [imitating Putin] ‘And now a message from ZipRecruiter.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Putting Trump on the phone with Putin is like putting your grandma on the phone with a Nigerian prince. [imitating grandmother] ‘This fellow is so charming!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Putin agreed to nothing today. People keep asking if Trump is getting played by Putin, which is like asking if ‘Hava Nagila’ is getting played at a bar mitzvah.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But both sides said the call went well, which makes sense, because they’re both on the same side.” — JIMMY FALLON“And, yeah, Russia actually described the call as ‘historic and epic.’ And nothing makes me feel safe like a happy Russia.” — JIMMY FALLON“But the White House said Putin agreed to a partial cease-fire. At least they think he did — it was tough to hear on the phone with Elon’s kids playing tag in the background.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Nine Months Later Edition)“Here’s some good news: Today, the Boeing astronauts who were stranded at the International Space Station for nine months finally returned to Earth. Welcome! Right now, they’re the first people in history to honestly text someone, ‘Sorry, just saw this.’”— JIMMY FALLON“Today, the astronauts were, like, ‘I just want to get home, watch “Joker 2,” make a three-egg omelet and dip my toes in the Gulf of Mexico. I can’t wait.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Wait till they find out what’s been going on down here — they might go back up.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Braces for the Reign of R.F.K. Jr., Health Czar

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      “Bobby Brainworm is on the job,” Jimmy Kimmel said after President Trump’s nominee for health secretary was confirmed and sworn in.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Bobby BrainwormOn Thursday, the Senate confirmed Robert Kennedy Jr., known to late night viewers for his vaccine skepticism and strange encounters with animals, as the secretary of health and human services. Jimmy Kimmel urged Americans not to worry about the rise of measles now that “Bobby Brainworm is on the job.”“Mitch McConnell was the only Republican to vote no. Mitch McConnell is 82 years old. He survived polio as a kid, and thanks to R.F.K. Jr, polio might get another run at him.” — JIMMY KIMMELAfter being confirmed, Kennedy Jr. proceeded to the Oval Office “to be sworn in and to suck up,” Kimmel said. The new head of health and human services described President Trump as a “man on a white horse” sent by God.“Next, God is going to send us diphtheria.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Melania couldn’t turn him on like that the first night they met. But happy Valentine’s Day to Don and Bob.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (OMG Edition)“The Senate today confirmed Robert F. Kennedy Jr. as secretary of health and human services. He was actually Trump’s second choice, but the Wuhan bat withdrew his nomination.” — SETH MEYERS“R.F.K. Jr. is now in charge of the F.D.A., N.I.H. and C.D.C., to which Americans said, ‘OMG,’ ‘WTF’ and ‘FML.’” — JIMMY FALLON“They said it couldn’t be done. Excuse me, they said it shouldn’t be done.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“But now it has happened, so you can now add ‘employment’ to the list of things he’s tested positive for.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Bits Worth WatchingThe filmmaker Brady Corbet discussed his Oscar-nominated move “The Brutalist” on “The Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutSly Stone’s music, especially from the 1960s, is celebrated as sui generis polymathic synthesis and as hip-hop’s bedrock in “Sly Lives!”Stephen Paley/Sony/Onyx CollectiveQuestlove details Sly Stone’s life, career and musical legacy in a new documentary, “Sly Lives! (aka the Burden of Black Genius).” More

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      It’s Bring a Kid to Work Day on ‘The Tonight Show’

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      Elon Musk took his son to the Oval Office, so Jimmy Fallon saw no reason not to walk onstage with a child, too.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Don’t Touch My Chicken NuggetsOn Tuesday, Elon Musk brought his 4-year-old son to the Oval Office for an appearance with President Trump. So on Wednesday, Jimmy Fallon walked onto the “Tonight Show” set with a little boy on his shoulders.“Daddy has to do a monologue,” Fallon said as he let the boy down.“Elon Musk and President Trump held a press conference in the Oval Office, and they were joined by Elon’s 4-year-old son. Don Jr. was, like, ‘Wait a minute, my dad said there’s no such thing as Take Your Son to Work Day.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump was looking at him like, ‘[imitating Trump] Don’t you dare touch my dinosaur chicken nuggets.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Eventually they bonded, though. While Elon was talking, they both watched an episode of ‘Bluey’ on an iPad.” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean, that poor kid. His dad literally runs Space X, and Elon took him to a meeting on federal spending.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (From Russia With Love Edition)“President Trump spoke today with Russian president Vladimir Putin on the phone. And, bad news, you guys, we gotta change the name of the gulf again.” — SETH MEYERS“In a post on Truth Social today, President Trump said that he spoke with Russian president Vladimir Putin and discussed Ukraine, the Middle East, energy, artificial intelligence, the power of the dollar, Moo Deng, Sydney Sweeney, the return of the Shamrock Shake and this season of ‘The Traitors.’ ‘[imitating Trump] We got off track towards the end of the call. We got a little off track.’” — SETH MEYERS“President Trump said that he had a nice phone call with Vladimir Putin. Putin was like, ‘[imitating Putin] I told you I wouldn’t forget Valentine’s Day.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The only awkward part of the call was when Putin said, ‘Is the president there?’ and both Trump and Elon said, ‘Yes?’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel’s sidekick Guillermo pitched his exciting new crypto venture on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightHarper Steele, the former “Saturday Night Live” writer and star (with Will Ferrell) of “Will & Harper,” will appear on “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutAn undated photograph of Amy Tan, from her days in the literary-world supergroup the Rock Bottom Remainders.via Amy Tan/Bancroft Library at the University of CaliforniaThe Bancroft Library at the University of California, Berkeley, has acquired the archives of Amy Tan, author of “The Joy Luck Club,” who’s changed her mind about having her papers destroyed posthumously. “My 22-year-old mind is thrilled: Accepted into Berkeley!” she said. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Pokes Fun at Trump’s Paper Straw Ban

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      “Listen, the fact of the matter is Trump loves plastic,” Kimmel said. “Most of his wives are made of plastic.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Most Important Stuff’On Tuesday, Jimmy Kimmel noted that President Trump had been signing a flurry of executive orders, often on TV. “It’s like the Jerry Lewis telethon with this guy,” he said. One presidential edict canceled a government effort to replace plastic straws with paper ones. “All day, reporters in there — he’s taking questions, having meetings, he’s tackling all the most important stuff. He did the same thing yesterday, all day. He canceled the penny, he changed the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America, and he finally got tough on paper straws.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course, the reason we switched to those admittedly terrible paper straws in the first place is because plastic straws wind up in the ocean, and they kill marine life, which I guess is another argument Trump, a well-known hater of sharks, doesn’t buy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That degree in marine biology is really coming in handy.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Listen, the fact of the matter is Trump loves plastic. Most of his wives are made of plastic.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Remember when Trump said he would make the day after the Super Bowl a national holiday? When is that executive order coming down the pike? Let’s whip out that fat little presidential Sharpie and deliver on what might be the only good thing you ever do. Do it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Brotherly Love Edition)“The Philadelphia Eagles are set to hold their Super Bowl victory parade this week on Valentine’s Day in what’s being called the ultimate test for Philadelphia boyfriends. ‘[Imitating Philadelphia Eagles fan:] Babe, what if I go for just an hour or so?’” — SETH MEYERS“It’s also Valentine’s Day, so while couples will be enjoying an edible arrangement, Eagles fans will be enjoying an arrangement of edibles.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, that’s right, the Eagles’ parade is this Friday. It’s great for fans ’cause there’s no work the next day, but bad because they can’t see a judge till Monday.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJesse Eisenberg discussed his film “A Real Pain” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJon Hamm will appear on Wednesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutSandra Bezic, Carolyn Taylor and Kurt Browning hit the ice in “I Have Nothing.”PeacockThe Canadian comedian Carolyn Tyler tries to fulfill a lifelong dream by choreographing a figure skating routine in “I Have Nothing,” a new six-part series on Peacock. More