Kosta, Michael (1979- )

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    Time Magazine’s Person of the Year Doesn’t Surprise Late Night

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    “Trump is the first man in history to be Time’s person of the year and McDonald’s employee of the month,” Jimmy Fallon said on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘America’s Main Character’Time magazine has named President-elect Donald Trump as its person of the year for 2024.“Trump is the first man in history to be Time’s person of the year and McDonald’s employee of the month,” Jimmy Fallon said. “History is being made!”“Trump said the honor feels just as exciting as the birth of his child, except he was present for the award.” — JIMMY FALLON“So it’s the second time he’s had the honor, with the first coming after his presidential win in 2016. That was also the same week Hillary Clinton canceled her subscription and smashed her server with a hammer.” — DANA PERINO, guest host of “Gutfeld!”“The editorial board mentioned Trump’s historic comeback, his impact on global politics and how we increased his votes from Blacks, Latinos and people named Biden.” — DANA PERINO“The difference: In 2016, the cover called him ‘President of the divided states of America.’ This year, it’s simply his name, even though there was plenty of room for ‘Cry harder, losers.’” — DANA PERINO“Now, obviously, Donald Trump is the person of the year. At this point, he’s basically America’s main character.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Sadly, there’s no one left to roll it up and spank him with it. Maybe Elon will do it for him, I don’t know.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“According to the Time website, the person of the year is bestowed upon ‘a person, group, or concept that had the biggest impact for good or for ill.’ Which, that’s him, all right. It was a no-brainer in every sense of the word.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“By the way, just to put Trump’s Time cover in context, it’s not exactly a mark of greatness. The president who currently holds the record for the most Time magazine covers, it isn’t a universally beloved one, like F.D.R., J.F.K. or George Washington. Not because Time wasn’t around in the 1700s, but because Washington was more of a People magazine time of guy.” — SETH MEYERS“But I guess once again, Time has not been kind to Joe Biden.” — MICHAEL KOSTAThe Punchiest Punchlines (Clemency For Christmas Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Stephen Colbert Is Surprised by Luigi Mangione’s ‘Minifesto’

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      “He could’ve just made it a Yelp review: ‘American health care sucks. One star,’” Colbert said of the content of a notebook found with the crime suspect.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Rest Is Still UnwrittenLaw enforcement officials said they recovered a notebook from Luigi Mangione after he was arrested on Monday at a McDonald’s in Altoona, Pa., in connection with the killing of the chief executive of United Healthcare, Brian Thompson. Officers said the notebook included detailed plans for the shooting last week.On Wednesday, Stephen Colbert expressed surprise over the brevity of the note’s 262 words. “That’s not a manifesto — that’s a ‘minifesto,’” Colbert said.“He could’ve just made it a Yelp review: ‘American health care sucks. One star.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The document basically rails against the health care industry and ends with, ‘I do apologize for any strife or traumas, but it had to be done.’ Well, at least he apologized. Reminds me of what Manson said after his murders: ‘Whoops, my bad!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s so crazy to think that Donald Trump working the French fry machine was only the second-weirdest thing to happen at a McDonald’s in Pennsylvania this year.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Police in Altoona report that they’ve been getting threats from Mangione’s fans, demanding he be released immediately. You know, I’ve been on TV just about nonstop for 29 years. This guy’s been in the news since Monday. He has fans threatening the police? Why do I feel like if I shot somebody, even my mother would be like, ‘Lock him up, teach him a lesson! It’s the only way he’s going to learn!’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“OK, ‘I don’t really know what I’m talking about’ is a surprising thing to put in a manifesto. This is the first murder manifesto I’ve read that could have ended with ‘But no worries if not!’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“You never see the Taliban like, ‘Death to America, although we’re not experts, so, grain of salt.’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Mangione has now been charged with second-degree murder, but he’s not pleading guilty, and he’s fighting attempts to extradite him to New York. Well, that makes sense — no one wants to be extradited to New York during the holidays. You’ve got to wait in a two-hour line just to be cavity searched at the M&M store.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Two More Weeks Until Christmas Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: America’s ‘Going Nuts’ Over a Murder Suspect’s Abs

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      Kimmel applauded people for “moving away from nonstop election coverage” to instead obsess over the looks of Luigi Mangione, who was charged with killing a C.E.O.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Time’s sexiest’On Monday, Luigi Mangione was arrested and charged with the murder of Brian Thompson, the chief executive of UnitedHealthcare.Late night hosts commented Tuesday about the attention over Mangione’s looks, with Jimmy Kimmel calling him “Time’s sexiest alleged murderer of the year” and “the hottest coldblooded killer in America.”“I’m not sure what this says about us, but ever since these photos of him came out from his holding cell, from his mug shot — someone found his abs somewhere online.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ryan Murphy right now is flying to Netflix headquarters in a jetpack.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So many women and so many men are going nuts over how good-looking this killer is. And there’s a huge wave of horny washing over us right now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“My question is, is he really even that hot? I mean, take away the hair, and the abs, the face, the arms, that easy smile, the way his eyes light up — wait, I’m sorry, what were we talking about? Syria? What are we talking about? Oh, yeah, we’re talking about the guy with the incredible abs.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“But I have to say, it does feel kind of good — we’re moving away from nonstop election coverage and back to drooling over a coldblooded murderer’s eyebrows and abs. I think that might be progress. Maybe not, I don’t know.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (McFingered Edition)“For the last few days, there’s been a killer on the loose in America. Well, there’s actually tons of killers on the loose in America, but this one killed someone important, so they were really looking for him.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“The assassin’s name is Luigi Mangione? Did they find him hiding in a big pipe?” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Mangione has become something of an internet celebrity, and people are not thrilled with the Altoona McDonald’s employees who McFingered him. Several nasty Google reviews have been left of the Altoona location, including ‘They got rats behind the counter. Do not recommend,’ while many others simply left one-star reviews, citing bad service and so-called ‘snitches.’ You know what they say: Snitches get Filet-O-Fishes.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s surprising that he comes from such a privileged background. He’s not really the kind of guy you expect to become a murderer. I mean, I expect him to crash the housing market, but not kill a guy.” — MICHAEL KOSTAWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Rallies for Queen Bey

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      The “Tonight Show” host was excited about Beyoncé’s plans to appear with the vice president: “What a night — the most powerful woman in the world and Kamala Harris.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Texas Hold ’emThe pop superstar Beyoncé will join Vice President Kamala Harris onstage at a campaign rally in Houston on Friday.“What a night — the most powerful woman in the world and Kamala Harris,” Jimmy Fallon said on Thursday.“Woo, baby. Talk about a get! The last time Beyoncé appeared onstage with a presidential candidate was Hillary in 2016, so things are looking good.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Yeah, Beyoncé will sing ‘Irreplaceable,’ and Biden will be like, ‘Too soon!’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, Harris is rallying with Beyoncé while Trump will be onstage claiming migrants are eating Snoop Dogg and Doja Cat.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Daddy Issues Edition)“At a Trump campaign rally yesterday in Georgia, former Fox News host Tucker Carlson compared former President Trump returning to office to a father who comes home to give a ‘bad little girl’ a ‘vigorous spanking’ for being disobedient. Wow. I guess for my part, I’m just glad he’s standing behind a podium.” — SETH MEYERS“OK, so this might be why you’ve never been invited to speak at a political rally before.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“You know, most people just clear their browser history, they don’t put it in their speeches.” — SETH MEYERS“Not to fact-check you there, Tuck, but we know from Stormy Daniels that Daddy’s the one who likes to get spanked.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You see, America? These Trump people — they aren’t weird. They just know that Trump is a big strong daddy that’s coming home to spank us all. Totally normal stuff. I can’t wait to hear Tucker’s thoughts on the economy: ‘Inflation is like a babysitter, and she’s been naughty.’” — MICHAEL KOSTA“I just can’t figure out why they’re having trouble appealing to female voters.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingColbert and Julia Louis-Dreyfus shared their earliest memories during “The Colbert Questionert” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutBridget Everett in a scene from Season 3 of “Somebody Somewhere.”Sandy Morris/HBOBridget Everett’s small-town dramedy series “Somebody Somewhere” returns to HBO on Sunday for its third and final season. More

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      Late Night Condemns Trump for Stanning Hitler

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      On Wednesday, Seth Meyers said he was “starting to think Trump doesn’t watch the ends of documentaries.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Mein Bad’Donald Trump’s longest-serving chief of staff, John Kelly, said the former president had said more than once while in office that Adolf Hitler “did some good things.”On Wednesday, Seth Meyers said he was “starting to think Trump doesn’t watch the ends of documentaries.”“Once you have to explain to someone that Hitler is bad, there’s not much else to talk about. You don’t see many first dates survive that.” — SETH MEYERS“Seriously, Trump, Hitler never did anything good. He even sucked at waving. Like, dude, God gave you elbows — use them.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“I don’t even think you have to know history. You can probably get all the info you need from Mel Brooks movies and Bugs Bunny cartoons.” — SETH MEYERS“This is the first election where reporters have to ask, ‘Who’d you root for when you watched ‘Saving Private Ryan’?” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump made it worse today when he said, ‘Oops, mein bad.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Lose Yourself Edition)“At a campaign event in Detroit, Eminem introduced Barack Obama. Which makes sense, they both made a career out of pretending to be Black.” — GREG GUTFELD“You know, somewhere, Trump is yelling at his aides: [imitating Trump] ‘How could M&Ms betray me? I don’t understand. Is there no loyalty?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But it’s nice to see Obama pay homage to Eminem because it means that Black people have finally accepted that Eminem is the greatest rapper of all time. And look — no, stop — I know how it feels. I went through it every time Tiger Woods won a golf tournament, OK?” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Was that song Osama bin Laden? Because Obama killed it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I will say, maybe Obama should skip that line about ‘dropping bombs,’ you know? Are you still rapping, or are you doing a drone strike?” — MICHAEL KOSTAThe Bits Worth WatchingMembers of the New York Liberty joined Jimmy Fallon for a team selfie celebrating their WNBA championship on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJulia Louis-Dreyfus will take “The Colbert Questionert” on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutThe gang’s all here for the sixth and final season of “What We Do in the Shadows.”Russ Martin/FXThe vampire comedy series “What We Do in the Shadows” returned for its sixth and final season on FX and Hulu this week. More

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      Late Night Heaps Scorn on Trump’s Latest Defense

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      Jimmy Kimmel said Donald Trump was “partially right” in denying interference in the 2020 election: “He tried to rig the election and failed to rig the election.’Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Rignoramus’A newly unsealed court filing in the special counsel’s case against former President Donald Trump detailed attempts at election interference in 2020. Trump refuted those claims, saying that it wasn’t he who rigged the election, “they did.”“He’s actually right about some of that; he didn’t rig the election. He tried to rig the election and failed to rig the election. He’s a rignoramus, is what he is.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“What a baby. That’s just as bad as Jeffrey Dahmer’s famous defense, ‘No, you ate my neighbor!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I know this is going to sound controversial, but I’m just going to come out and say it: I think Trump might have done something wrong.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (October Surprise Edition)“A federal judge yesterday unsealed a 165-page motion detailing evidence against former President Trump in his election interference case. OK, well, there’s only one way he’s reading 165 pages, and it’s at the Cheesecake Factory.” — SETH MEYERS“According to the filing, Trump told the staff that he was going to declare victory regardless of the results. Vladimir Putin heard and was like, ‘[imitating Putin] My little man is growing up.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The news of Trump’s alleged crimes are being called an ‘October surprise,’ while most Americans were like, ‘Um, we’re not that surprised.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingDemi Lovato and Jimmy Fallon shrieked their way through a new haunted house experience, “Tonightmares.”Also, Check This OutSaoirse Ronan in “The Outrun.”Martin Scott Powell/Sony Pictures ClassicsSaoirse Ronan delivers another stunning performance as an alcoholic desperately clinging to sobriety. More

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      Late Night Sums Up a Strangely Chill VP Debate

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      Jimmy Fallon said viewers “were expecting a horror movie, but instead, they got a Hallmark movie.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Debate and SwitchLate-night hosts continued to recap the vice-presidential debate on Wednesday.Jimmy Fallon called it “the craziest debate yet — they actually talked about policy.”“Yeah, this debate turned out to be polite, friendly and intimate — it was jarring. Basically, people were expecting a horror movie, but instead, they got a Hallmark movie.” — JIMMY FALLON“Most people felt that JD Vance had a solid debate. Republicans saw that and were, like, ‘Hey, could we pull a Biden and just go with this guy?’” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right. Most polls found that JD Vance won the debate. However, all those polls were taken at a Sephora.” — JIMMY FALLON“Great, the entire debate was pointless and irrelevant. So, in a way, it really did prepare them to be vice president.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“In his closing statement at last night’s debate, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz thanked viewers for missing ‘Dancing with the Stars.’ For those who are unfamiliar, it’s a reality competition show that will hopefully feature JD Vance next season.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Trump Backs Out Edition)“Former President Trump broke a 50-year tradition for presidential candidates after he backed out of his scheduled interview with ‘60 Minutes’ because he was worried they’d fact-check him. So if you’re keeping track, Trump said that he’ll stand up to the president of China, but Lesley Stahl is a little too scary.” — JIMMY FALLON“You’d think these guys would be embarrassed to be so against fact-checking. You know, if you include some facts in your sentences when you speak, there’ll be nothing to check.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He won’t do ‘60 Minutes,’ but if there is a group of doofuses in flat-brimmed hats with a podcast where they call him ‘Bro,’ he will be happy to plug your energy drink on that.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingIna Garten discussed her new memoir over cosmopolitans with Stephen Colbert on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightPaul Reiser will pop by “Late Night” on Thursday to promote his new buddy comedy, “The Problem With People.”Also, Check This OutSarah Snook won an Olivier Award for “The Picture of Dorian Gray,” which ran in London this year.Marc BrennerThe “Succession” standout Sarah Snook will play all 26 characters in a one-woman stage production of “The Picture of Dorian Gray.” More