Late Night with Seth Meyers (TV Program)

Subterms

    More stories

    • 88 Shares179 Views

      in Television

      Stephen Colbert Slams Former Special Counsel’s Conclusions

      by

      Colbert objected to Robert K. Hur calling President Biden a “well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory” in a report on the handling of classified documents.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Thanks for the MemoriesOn Tuesday, the former special counsel Robert K. Hur testified before the House Judiciary Committee, answering questions about his investigation into President Biden’s handling of classified documents. In his report, Hur referred to Biden as a “well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory.”“Yes, Biden has been dangerously forgetful, unlike Trump, who always remembers that he’s running against Obama, and unopposed, at that, since Nancy Pelosi dropped out,” Stephen Colbert said on his show Tuesday night.“Democrats were, like, ‘Well, that five days of momentum from the State of the Union was fun while it lasted.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That kind of assessment is sort of outside the normal job description of a special counsel. It’d be like your doctor saying, ‘Well, we ran some tests, Mr. Johnson, and your cholesterol looks very good, but I am worried about how ugly you are. I’m going to write you a prescription for bag over your head. Unlimited refills.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Hur refused to engage in hypotheticals, but today, he did release the full transcript of his interviews with the president, and, what do you know? It’s not as ‘old-man-forgets-a-lot’ as his summary made it out to be. At one point, Hur even complimented Biden’s memory, specifically saying: ‘You appear to have a photographic understanding and recall.’ So the exact opposite of his report summary. At this point, I’m worried about Hur’s cognitive ability. Did anyone ask him to identify a whale?’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bye-Bye, TikTok Edition)“Angry TikTok users are reportedly calling congressional offices ahead of the week’s vote on a bipartisan bill that would ban the platform. Well, it’s more mature than what angry Facebook users did.” — SETH MEYERS, referring to Jan. 6“Banning one of the most popular social media apps in the entire world would set a huge precedent and have a massive impact on American life. Without TikTok, where else would I learn about actual trends like cooking chicken in NyQuil or future trends like calling the ambulance after someone cooks chicken in NyQuil?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The bill is a response to fears that TikTok’s owner company, ByteDance, could share user data, such as browsing history, location and biometric identifiers, with China’s authoritarian government. Oh, God. China could spy on us or brainwash our youth with propaganda, or, worst of all, put us on a mailing list.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

    • 150 Shares119 Views

      in Television

      Jimmy Kimmel Explains His Run-In (Sort of) With Trump at the Oscars

      by

      Why did Donald Trump go online during the Oscars to criticize Kimmel’s performance as host? Kimmel thinks he was upset because no one had mentioned his name. Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.OscarworthyFresh from hosting the Oscars on Sunday, Jimmy Kimmel detailed on Monday night how he’d come to poke fun in real time at one viewer: Donald Trump, who posted criticism of Kimmel’s performance during the broadcast. (“Isn’t it past your jail time?” Kimmel asked the ex-president from the stage.) “We were backstage, the show was almost over, and one of our writers was like, ‘Hey, look at this,’ and I was like, well, to quote Al Pacino, ‘Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in,’ and I had to read it,” Kimmel said.“Donald Trump — you remember that guy? He used to be, yeah — wrote ‘Has there ever been a worse host than Jimmy Kimmel at the Oscars? His opening was that of a less-than-average person trying too hard to be something which he is not and never can be.’ This was also his wedding toast to his son Eric, by the way.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So after the show, almost everyone I ran into was asking me, ‘Was that real? Did Donald Trump really?’ It’s like yeah, of course, it was real. And it kind of tells you all you need know about Donald Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He wrote this because he was upset I didn’t mention him on the show, and no one mentioned him on the show. He wasn’t getting any attention. He couldn’t stand it. And so then the Adderall McFlurry kicked in, and he went right on.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Funny — we had John Cena onstage naked, and somehow Trump still managed to be the biggest [expletive] of the night.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Pushing the Envelope Edition)“‘Oppenheimer’ was the big winner, taking home seven awards, including Best Picture, while the award for Most Paused Picture went to John Cena.” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean, God bless, John. I could never do something like that. If I did, I’d win the Oscar for Best Short.” — JIMMY FALLON“Good thing he held onto that card, ’cause we might have seen his Maestro, if you know what I’m saying? His Poor Thing, if you catch my drift.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They kept demanding that we make the envelope bigger and bigger, which, well, first, I have to say congratulations to John Cena, the commotion you caused. Very rarely does an idea literally push the envelope, and this one did.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingKristen Stewart defended her racy Rolling Stone cover while on Monday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe journalist Jane Marie will discuss her new book “Selling the Dream: The Billion-Dollar Industry Bankrupting Americans” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This Out“I still like looking at the world around me with softness and an open heart,” Adrianne Lenker said.Erinn Springer for The New York TimesThe singer-songwriter Adrianne Lenker of Big Thief fame projects resilience on her fifth solo album, Bright Future. More

    • 150 Shares99 Views

      in Television

      ‘The Late Show’ Goes Live to Recap the State of the Union

      by

      “Depending on what happens in November, next year might just be a Kid Rock concert and an immigrant catapult,” Stephen Colbert joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Biden State of Mind“The Late Show” went live on Thursday night, after President Joe Biden’s State of the Union address.Stephen Colbert said that the press had so far described Biden’s address as “feisty, fiery, heated, supreme, crunch wrap. I’m sorry. It’s really late and I’m hungry.”“It was kind of a tense night, because it feels like this might be the last time we get a State of the Union. Depending on what happens in November, next year might just be a Kid Rock concert and an immigrant catapult.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, coming into tonight’s speech, critics said Biden’s State of the Union challenge was to dispel ‘old-man vibes.’ Really? In Congress? Kinda hard to fight off the old-man vibe when you’re speaking to a room that looks like an open casket convention.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“On the Democratic side, they wore white. On the Republican side, they were white.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (State of the Union Edition)“Well, guys, if you’re watching at home, I assume you’re still cleaning up from your big State of the Union party. Yeah. What kind of wings do you want — right wing, left wing?” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, earlier tonight, President Biden delivered the annual State of the Union address, and Biden’s speech was historic. It was the first time that the font size on the teleprompter was 8,000.” — JIMMY FALLON“Biden looked out at the members of Congress and said, ‘Finally, a place where I seem pretty young.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Thanks to rules giving former members of Congress floor access, George Santos attended the State of the Union. Come on! You can’t just go back to your old job like you never left — unless you’re Jon Stewart. Keep it up, Jon! You’re crushing it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Tonight, the room was filled with over 500 members of Congress, but Senator Mitch McConnell wasn’t there. Well, he attended, but he wasn’t there.” — JIMMY FALLON“Ahead of the president’s arrival there, members of the Supreme Court filed in. Interestingly, Justice Clarence Thomas did not attend. It’s nice to know he’s willing to recuse himself from something.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Thursday’s “Daily Show,” Ronny Chieng asked his “Kung Fu Panda 4” co-star Awkwafina to interview him about his role in the movie.Also, Check This OutKaty O’Brian and Kristen Stewart in “Love Lies Bleeding.”Anna Kooris/A24Kristen Stewart and Katy O’Brian find love in a hopeless place in Rose Glass’s new neo-noir thriller “Love Lies Bleeding.” More

    • 113 Shares149 Views

      in Television

      Ronny Chieng Is Sad to See Nikki Haley Go

      by

      “The Daily Show” guest host bemoaned that Haley dropped out after President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump crushed Super Tuesday “like it was an audition for a Life Alert commercial.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Same Old, Same OldNikki Haley dropped out of the presidential race on Wednesday after President Joe Biden and former President Donald Trump dominated Super Tuesday elections.“No! The baby boomer death grip continues,” Ronny Chieng said while hosting Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”“So it’s now officially Trump and Biden. They crushed the primaries like it was an audition for a Life Alert commercial.” — RONNY CHIENG“Yep, now it’s pretty much certain that we’re going to have a rematch between Biden and Trump. At this point, the only thing that can stop them is a flight of stairs.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, after the results came in, both guys threw big victory parties with confetti made from shredded classified documents.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Nikki Haley Edition)“Presidential candidate Nikki Haley announced today that she is ending her campaign for the Republican nomination. Well, she’s a reasonable person. You don’t have to tell her 16 times.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, Nikki Haley is ending her presidential campaign. But, as an olive branch, Melania has offered her first lady.” — SETH MEYERS“But here’s the good news for Haley. She’s only 52, which means she can run for president at least eight more times.” — JIMMY FALLON“No! Don’t quit now, Nikki! You were only 80,000 delegates behind!” — RONNY CHIENG“If you drop out, who will little girls without any principles, convictions or charisma look up to?” — RONNY CHIENGThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Wednesday’s “Late Show,” Ariel Elias shared a story of her comedy stand-up set going viral.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightRicky Martin will promote his Trilogy Tour with Enrique Iglesias and Pitbull on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutTop, Colman Domingo, left, as the title character in “Rustin” and the real Bayard Rustin; center, Leonard Bernstein, left, and Bradley Cooper as the conductor.Clockwise from top left: Netflix; Eddie Adams/Associated Press; Jason McDonald/Netflix; Nicole Bengiveno/The New York Times; Liz Parkinson/Netflix; Associated PressMaking biopics can be complicated by input from real people whose lives are recreated onscreen. More

    • 88 Shares159 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Finds Super Tuesday Super Predictable

      by

      “Spoiler: It’s Biden/Trump,” Stephen Colbert said. “It’s always been Biden/Trump. It will always be Biden/Trump.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Spoiler AlertSuper Tuesday all but solidified that the 2024 presidential race will be between President Biden and former President Donald J. Trump.“Spoiler: It’s Biden/Trump,” Stephen Colbert said. “It’s always been Biden/Trump. It will always be Biden/Trump.”“In a recent poll, almost 50 percent of respondents said they believe ‘it is likely Democrats will replace Biden with another candidate before the election.’ No. No, they won’t. It’s Trump versus Biden. Stop making up election fan fic.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But the president is not out there fighting alone. Oh, no. He is backed by Joe Biden’s superfans, many of them older, and most of them women. That’s right. Taylor’s got the Swifties, Beyoncé’s got the Bey-hive, but Joe’s got the early bird special.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Super Tuesday Edition)“Today was Super Tuesday, where 16 states and one territory got together and held an intervention for Nikki Haley.” — SETH MEYERS“Taylor Swift got on Instagram and encouraged her 282 million followers to vote. Yeah, which backfired when everyone voted for the blank space.” — JIMMY FALLON“Now, there’s one thing that could still drive voter turnout today, and that’s that Taylor Swift told her 282 million Instagram followers to vote in Super Tuesday’s primaries but refrained from endorsing any specific candidates or political party. We haven’t seen a celebrity take a stance this boldly neutral since Rob Lowe went to an N.F.L. game with a hat that said ‘N.F.L.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJordan Klepper asked Nikki Haley supporters to choose between Biden and Donald Trump on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe Oscar nominated actress Annette Bening will sit down with Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutElim Chan, who came to global attention when she won the Donatella Flick Conducting Competition, is about to make her New York Philharmonic debut.Lanna Apisukh for The New York TimesThe first woman to win a prestigious conducting contest, Elim Chan, will make her debut at the New York Philharmonic this week. More

    • 125 Shares99 Views

      in Television

      Stephen Colbert Has a Few Questions for the Supreme Court

      by

      Colbert joked that justices were “again shoving their gavels up the election” by ruling that former President Donald Trump can appear on all state ballots in 2024.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Only Place Where Trump Can Win the Popular Vote’On Monday, the Supreme Court unanimously ruled that former President Donald Trump can appear on all 2024 election ballots.Stephen Colbert said the justices were “once again shoving their gavels up the election.”“Yes, the Supreme Court knows you can’t just let states decide who goes on their ballots,” Colbert said. “States are too busy deciding that life begins in the freezer section, next to the pearl onions.”“The majority says that disqualifying a candidate for insurrection can only occur when Congress passes legislation. OK, quick question: If Congress does decide to pass that legislation to disqualify a candidate for insurrection, what if he sends his mob to storm Congress to stop them from passing that legislation? Does that count as insurrection? Or do they have to pass more legislation about that before the next mob shows up? I’m just asking because, clearly, you guys haven’t put any thought into any of this stuff.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s right, the Supreme Court ruled that states cannot keep Trump off their ballots, which means that the Supreme Court remains the only place where Trump can win the popular vote.” — SETH MEYERS“Speaking of former President Trump, today the Supreme Court unanimously ruled that Colorado is not allowed to remove him from the 2024 ballot. Then out of habit, Trump immediately appealed the decision. He’s like, ‘This is a witch — oh, wait a minute, OK.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump celebrated the ruling, calling it a big win for America. That’s also what he said when McDonald’s brought back the McRib.” — JIMMY FALLON“Let that be a lesson to all you out there who might be thinking about subverting the Constitution in a presidential election. You go, boy!” — JON STEWARTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Rally Flubs Edition)“Donald Trump had two rallies this weekend, one in Virginia and one in North Carolina. But the two speeches had one unifying theme: His brain is broke.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Suddenly, Trump turned into a Spice Girl: ‘I really want to zig-a-zay ah.’ It sounded like his brain got a flat.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

    • 113 Shares149 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Speculates About Mitch McConnell’s Next Career Move

      by

      The senator is giving up his G.O.P. leadership post. “McConnell just turned 82, so that can only mean one thing: He’s running for president,” Jimmy Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Leaving So Soon?On Wednesday, Mitch McConnell of Kentucky said he would step down this year from his long-held position as leader of the Senate Republicans.“McConnell just turned 82, so that can only mean one thing: He’s running for president,” said Jimmy Fallon.“McConnell said that it’s time for the next generation of leadership. Then he looked around the Senate and realized the next generation is 75.” — JIMMY FALLON“Well, thanks to the woke left, another Confederate statue has been taken down.” — SETH MEYERS“He’s not stepping down till November because, at 82, that’s how long it takes him to step.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He will be retiring to the Galápagos Islands to spend more time with the other 500-year-old turtles.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Low-Rent Wonka Edition)“Last weekend in Glasgow, a Willy Wonka-inspired experience was brought to a halt following complaints it was ‘an absolute shambles of an event’ after families traveled from all over, paying $40 a ticket for an ‘exhilarating and immersive adventure’ called Willy’s Chocolate Experience. Still better than the English attraction: Spotted Dick’s Custard Explosion.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But when people showed up, they found something very different from what they found on the website. What they found was basically a big empty warehouse with vinyl backdrops tacked to the wall. They got to see Willy Wonka’s famous portable power generator, and they got to meet what appears to be a meth lab Oompa Loompa.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Parents were very upset. They called the police on the place. I have to say, though, honestly, I feel like the kids learned an important lesson about how disappointing the rest of their lives are going to be.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Look, I don’t know why everyone is so upset that the kids were traumatized. Have you seen the movie? Traumatizing kids is the authentic Wonka experience!” — MICHAEL KOSTA, guest host of “The Daily Show”The Bits Worth WatchingOn “Late Night,” Seth Meyers recapped his highly publicized ice cream shop visit with President Biden, in a segment Meyers referred to this time as “A Closer Lick.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightEugene Levy, who gets a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame next week, will appear on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live!”Also, Check This OutRichard Lewis on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” this season.HBOIn one of his last interviews, the late Richard Lewis reminisced about the early days of “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” and about meeting Larry David when they were children at summer camp. More

    • 150 Shares189 Views

      in Television

      Late Night Chides Biden for Talking About Gaza While Eating Ice Cream

      by

      “Not the most dignified way to deliver world-changing news,” Michael Kosta said on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.’Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Biden’s Big ScoopOn Monday, President Biden was asked about a timeline for a potential cease-fire in Gaza while visiting an ice cream shop for a “Late Night with Seth Meyers” segment.On Tuesday, the “Daily Show” host Michael Kosta said Biden had delivered his response “in the most Joe Biden way possible” — that is, while eating an ice cream cone.“Not the most dignified way to deliver world-changing news. It does remind me of the photo of Obama’s team watching the bin Laden raid while making balloon animals.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“This was like when Obama announced ‘We got bin Laden’ just as someone put out the pie.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s a very statesmanlike response, and a reason to kindle hope, if he hadn’t said it directly into a scoop of mint chip.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I’ll tell you what, if I was a politician, I would always have an ice cream with me, just to cram in my mouth in case I got asked about Israel-Palestine.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Now, despite Biden’s prediction, both Hamas and Israel say they’re not actually close to a cease-fire. But I’m not surprised that Biden was so optimistic: When you’re holding a freshly scooped ice cream cone, everything feels like it’s going to be OK. That’s why it’s the official food of telling your kid you’re getting a divorce.” — MICHAEL KOSTAThe Punchiest Punchlines (Biden and Trump Take Mexico Edition)“Biden and Trump are scheduled to visit the border in Texas on Thursday. Both of them. They will both be at the border. And if they can get two more senior citizens to go with them, they’ve got themselves a pickleball match.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Former President Trump is set on Thursday to visit the U.S.-Mexico border. I’m guessing to make a break for it?” — SETH MEYERS“If you think these two guys are confused now, wait till they spend a few hours in 100-degree heat.” — JIMMY FALLON“The president is going to see what can be done to solve the border crisis. Trump is going to make sure he doesn’t solve what’s happening at the border. Biden is planning to meet with U.S. border agents, while Trump is planning to sell golden high-tops on the streets of Juárez.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJosh Brolin took over Stephen Colbert’s desk on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightSheryl Crow will perform on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutOlivia Rodrigo onstage in California on Friday night.OK McCausland for The New York TimesFor her Guts World Tour, Olivia Rodrigo’s opening acts will range from the rising star Chappell Roan to the Gen-X rockers the Breeders. More