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      Stephen Colbert on Trump: ‘Business Fraud Is His Brand’

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      Colbert recapped Donald Trump’s post-arraignment return to Mar-a-Lago, “where he held an angry rally for all his cult members.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Return of Florida ManFormer President Donald Trump returned to Mar-a-Lago on Tuesday after being arrested and arraigned on 34 felony counts of falsifying business records.“And you know what? I’m not sure if that’s fair,” Stephen Colbert said on Wednesday. “Business fraud is his brand.”“And after his arraignment, he hauled his ass to LaGuardia, got on his private jet, flew to Mar-a-Lago, where he held an angry rally for all his cult members.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Then it was time for the former president to take the stage and inspire a nation with a six-minute list of unresolved grievances. Well, come on, what do you expect? You’re listening to a 76-year-old man in Florida.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“So he was arrested and released, and we never got a mug shot. But that did not stop the ex-president’s campaign from making one up and selling it on a T-shirt that says, ‘Not guilty.’ OK, but if he’s not guilty, why did you put him in a mug shot? Just sell a poster that says, ‘Wanted! for following too many laws.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘Back So Soon?’ Edition)“Meanwhile, after his arraignment, Trump flew back home to Florida and held a rally in Mar-a-Lago. It’s always nice to have a traditional post-arrest reception.” — JIMMY FALLON“The whole staff looked at him like, ‘Back so soon?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Former President Trump spoke last night at Mar-a-Lago following his arraignment and said, ‘I never thought anything like this could happen in America.’ Honestly, neither did I. I mean, you got away with so many crimes for so long. Trump getting arrested was like ‘Avatar 2’ — I just figured it was never going to happen. Then it finally did, and I was like, ‘You know what? Worth the wait.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingJordan Klepper visited a Trump indictment rally in New York for Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightMolly Shannon will appear on Thursday’s “Tonight Show” ahead of hosting this weekend’s “Saturday Night Live.”Also, Check This OutDante ZaballaA dozen musicians, scholars and critics weighed in on the best music of the jazz pianist Mary Lou Williams. More

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      Late Night Celebrates Donald Trump’s History-Making Arrest

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      “It is a great day to be in New York City — well, unless you’re one person,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Trump Makes History“It is a great day to be in New York City — well, unless you’re one person,” Jimmy Fallon joked on Tuesday night. Stephen Colbert said the day was “70 degrees and sunny with a chance of jail.”Former President Donald Trump’s arraignment was the talk of late night, with hosts noting he was the first U.S. president ever to be arrested and face criminal charges.“Trump made history. The only good news for Trump: In Florida, all the history books have been thrown out, so it’s all right.” — JIMMY FALLON“That guy was the president of the country. If you asked for the manager at Best Buy and that guy came over, you’d say, ‘No, the manager.’” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, former President Trump was arraigned today in Manhattan. And, like anyone else, Trump is presumed innocent until he outright confesses on Truth Social.” — SETH MEYERS“At that point, of course, he was read his Miranda rights. Then he claimed Miranda wasn’t even his type, asked her to sign an N.D.A. and got indicted again.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Once he got inside the courtroom, Trump was formally charged with 34 counts of falsifying business records in the first degree, which are class E felonies. Yep, Trump was like, [imitating Trump] ‘Of course they were very classy felonies. Some would say the classiest of felonies.’” — JIMMY FALLON“And he alone. Ain’t none of your boys around no more — you gave them all pardons. And everybody know you don’t pardon all of your partners — you got to leave one in jail so you have somebody to talk to.” — ROY WOOD JR., guest host of ‘The Daily Show”The Punchiest Punchlines (Trump in Court Edition)“That’s him in court. Look at his face. This is the first time in his life anything’s ever dawned on him.” — SETH MEYERS, on a photo of Trump in the courtroom“Look at how sad Trump looks. My man look like somebody told him his dog died or that Mike Pence is still alive.” — ROY WOOD JR.“He looks like he’s watching another table at Applebee’s get their food first.” — JIMMY FALLON“Looks like he had to sit through two unskippable ads on YouTube.” — JIMMY FALLON“He looks like Ben Affleck at the Grammys.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingThe former host Jon Stewart popped by “The Daily Show” to talk about Trump’s arrest.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightCecily Strong, who stars in “Schmigadoon!” will appear on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutChucky, the sinister doll behind a horror franchise, is the subject of the documentary “Living With Chucky.”Cinedigm/ScreamBoxThe documentary “Living With Chucky” takes a personal look at the legacy of one of horror’s most lasting and loved villains. More

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      Stephen Colbert Takes a ‘Mug Shot’ on Donald Trump’s ‘Arraignment Eve’

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      It’s unclear whether Trump will have a mug shot taken, Colbert said, “but here’s my mug and I will definitely be doing a few shots.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Colbert Takes a ‘Mug Shot’Stephen Colbert brought out a bottle of bourbon for a few celebratory shots ahead of former President Donald Trump’s expected arrest in Manhattan on Tuesday.“One question a lot of people are asking is: Will there be a mug shot? Well, I don’t know about of him, but here’s my mug and I will definitely be doing a few shots,” Colbert said, calling Monday “Arraignment Eve.”“How are we going to explain that to our grandchildren? Hopefully in the book, ‘Donald and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad N.D.A.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“What if he goes to jail? He could end up the head of a violent white supremacist gang, but in prison this time.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Tomorrow, the moment the world’s been waiting for: He’ll head into the D.A.’s office, where he will receive a booking number and be fingerprinted. They won’t even have to use ink — I’m pretty sure there’s enough ketchup on there all the time.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Reverse Spring Break Edition)“Today, ahead of his scheduled arraignment, former President Trump flew from Florida to New York and landed at LaGuardia Airport. Yep, he was smart — nothing helps you ease into prison like spending time at LaGuardia.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, Trump flew from Florida to New York, where he’ll soon be arrested. He’s basically doing a reverse spring break.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump’s got to provide a DNA sample, which, if you think about it, that’s kind of how he got in this mess in the first place.” — ROY WOOD JR., guest host of “The Daily Show”“The upside with Trump’s DNA? Now the NYPD can probably solve a bunch of cold cases from the ’80s.” — ROY WOOD JR.The Bits Worth Watching“The Daily Show” correspondent-turned-guest host Roy Wood Jr. spoke with Ron DeSantis’s education adviser while leading a class called White History 101.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightU.S. Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutIn a new solo show at 59E59 Theaters, the comedian Judy Gold mentions her forebears, including Totie Fields and Joan Rivers.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesComedian Judy Gold’s new solo show “Yes, I Can Say That!” is equal parts uncomfortable and hilarious by design. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Recaps Day Eight of ‘To Catch a President’

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      Kimmel complained that the grand jury is “leaving us hanging like Trump tried to do with Mike Pence.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Two More Weeks of WaitingOn Wednesday, Jimmy Kimmel joked it was “Day Eight of ‘To Catch a President.’”“The grand jury in Manhattan is still out, and they are going to stay out for two weeks,” Kimmel said, adding that they are “leaving us hanging like Trump tried to do with Mike Pence. But that’s a different indictment, I think.”“Some experts believe that it is possible the grand jury may already have voted to indict Donald Trump but that the Manhattan D.A. is slow-walking it to give him time to make preparations for his arrest, whereas others are saying it’s possible — and this is pretty crazy — that Donald Trump died two years ago and we’re all being haunted by his ghost.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yep, a potential indictment is at least a month away. Melania was like, ‘Welp, cancel the party.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Even Ted Cruz was like, ‘You’re going on vacation now?’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Eyewitness Edition)“The reason we know this is good for the country is because neither Pence nor the former president want it to happen.” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on Mike Pence being forced to testify before a grand jury in the Jan. 6 investigation“The ex-president argued that his conversations with Pence fell under executive privilege, while Pence claimed that his role as the president of the Senate granted him legislative immunity. So, he was a part of the executive branch and the legislative branch. You can see it all in the new movie, ‘Every Job Everywhere All Mike Pence.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Another day has gone by, and the ex-president still has not been indicted for making illegal hush money payments to a porn star. I really thought it was going to happen today. After all, Wednesday is Cover Your Hump Day.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingKevin Bacon joined Jimmy Fallon for a parody called “Paint It, Black” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe actress Maude Apatow, a star in “Little Shop of Horrors,” will appear on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThe artist Aura Rosenberg at her first major survey, “What Is Psychedelic,” at Pioneer Works in Brooklyn.Tonje Thilesen for The New York TimesArtist Aura Rosenberg’s first major survey, “What Is Psychedelic,” features 50 years of her work, including collaborations with Laurie Simmons, Louise Lawler, John Baldessari and Mike Kelley. More

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      Stephen Colbert Calls Nashville Shooting ‘Horrible and Familiar’

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      “Not doing anything about this is an insane dereliction of our collective humanity,” Colbert said on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Horrible and Familiar’An armed assailant shot and killed six people at a Nashville elementary school on Monday.Stephen Colbert called the situation “horrible and familiar, and horrible because it is so familiar,” noting that the tragedy was “the 130th mass shooting of 2023, and 2023 is only 87 days old.”“Not doing anything about this is an insane dereliction of our collective humanity. And the obvious solution here is one President Biden has proposed: an assault weapons ban. We’ve had one before, from 1994 to 2004 — and it worked. During that ban, the risk of dying in a mass shooting was 70 percent lower than it is today. That just makes sense. Fewer guns equals fewer shootings.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s not complicated. It might be hard, but it’s not complicated. That’s just math. It’s the same reason these days we have fewer strangulations with a landline.” — STEPHEN COLBERTBoth Colbert and “The Daily Show” guest host John Leguizamo reacted to U.S. Representative Tim Burchett’s comments that, “It’s a horrible, horrible situation, and we’re not going to fix it. Criminals are going to be criminals. And my daddy fought in the Second World War, fought in the Pacific, fought the Japanese, and he told me, ‘Buddy,’ he said, ‘If somebody wants to take you out and doesn’t mind losing their life, there’s not a whole heck of a lot you can do about it.’”“Yes, I suppose as a lawmaker, he could, I don’t know, make a law, but that sounds like a lot of work. Despair — despair is so much more efficient. It reminds me of that sign on the subway: ‘If you see something, whatevs. Bombers gonna bomb.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“That’s the best you have to offer? You’re a congressman! If you don’t have any ideas for how to keep our kids safe, get the [expletive] out of the way — yes! — and go work at a Pinkberry or some [expletive]!” — JOHN LEGUIZAMO“And, by the way, no disrespect to his father, but if going to school in America feels like fighting in World War II, that should be a sign that things are seriously [expletive] up in America, OK?” — JOHN LEGUIZAMO“Counterpoint: Elementary school is not supposed to be like World War II.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Pity Party Edition)“The grand jury in New York is not expected to convene tomorrow, which means the earliest they can vote on an indictment is now next week. In the meantime, Trump has been busy saying goodbye to old friends. Last night, he threw quite a pity party on his pal Sean Hannity’s show.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Former President Trump was interviewed last night by Fox News host Sean Hannity. ‘Thanks for having me back,’ said Hannity and Trump at the same time.” — SETH MEYERS“Yeah, apparently Trump was there to promote his next indictment: [imitating Trump] ‘It’s gonna be huge.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Save it for your cellmate, Donald. We don’t want to hear it anymore.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJohn Leguizamo challenged legendary B-boy Crazy Legs to a break-dance battle on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe actor Adam Scott, who stars in “Party Down,” will sit down with Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutJoaquin Phoenix praised his working relationship with the director Ari Aster, noting his “willingness to push yourself, and to be pushed and to push back.”A24The “Midsommar” writer-director Ari Aster’s new dark comedy, “Beau is Afraid,” has an all-star cast including Joaquin Phoenix, Patti LuPone and Parker Posey. More

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      Late Night Recaps Donald Trump’s Waco Rally

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      Hosts raised their eyebrows over the former president’s choice of venue, near the Texas compound where the Branch Davidian cult met with disaster 30 years ago.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘If I Did It’Donald Trump held a rally in Waco, Texas, on Saturday, near the site where dozens of members of a religious cult died by fire as federal agents besieged their compound 30 years ago. During his speech, the ex-president addressed the investigation into his alleged payment of hush money to a porn star.“That wouldn’t be the one!” Trump said of the porn star, Stormy Daniels, quickly adding, “There is no one. We have a great first lady.”“Yes, her name is Jill Biden,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday.“But, just to be clear, he didn’t do it, he wouldn’t do it, but if he had done it, he wouldn’t have done it with her.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I love that Trump’s running for office and from the law at the same time.” — JOHN LEGUIZAMO, guest host of “The Daily Show”“Trump chose Waco because it’s a powerful metaphor for his campaign: He’s going down in flames, and he’s taking his cult followers with him.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Former President Trump held a rally on Saturday in Waco, Texas, near the site of the Branch Davidian cult’s compound. Or, as it’s now known: campaign headquarters.” — SETH MEYERS“Former President Trump held a campaign rally on Saturday in Waco, Texas, making him the first cult leader ever to escape that city alive.” — SETH MEYERS“Yep, you could tell Trump was nervous about getting arrested, because he gave his speech with one foot in Mexico.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Final Four Edition)“The teams in this year’s Final Four are Miami, Florida Atlantic, UConn and San Diego State. Really? The only way your bracket’s got those four teams is if you filled it out this morning.” — JIMMY FALLON“This Final Four was on nobody’s bracket.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“In a strange turn of events, I found myself rooting for this imaginary school on Saturday. I was all in on Gonzaga because, they’re, really, they’re the ultimate Cinderella story, in that, like Cinderella, they’re also fictional characters who do not exist.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’ll be honest, I think two of those teams might just be online universities.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingLil Nas X joined James Corden for “Carpool Karaoke” on Monday’s “Late Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe singer-songwriter and actress Mary J. Blige will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutLana Del Rey’s new album is “as sprawling, hypnotic and incorrigibly American as an interstate highway,” our critic says.Neil KrugLana Del Ray’s ninth album, “Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Blvd,” asks big, earnest questions and isn’t afraid to get messy. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Mocks Trump’s New Lawyer

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      Kimmel joked that Joe Tacopina “seems to have been born in the ashtray of Rudy Giuliani’s Lincoln Continental.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘He-Hulk: Attorney at Law’Former President Donald Trump’s attorney, Joe Tacopina, appeared on MSNBC on Tuesday, where he defended his client and argued that Trump was not a liar, specifically in regard to hush money paid to Stormy Daniels.Jimmy Kimmel jokingly referred to Tacopina as “He-Hulk: Attorney at Law,” saying he “seems to have been born in the ashtray of Rudy Giuliani’s Lincoln Continental.”“It looks like he holds meetings in the back office at the Bada Bing!” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ralph Macchio had better representation in ‘My Cousin Vinny’ than Donald Trump has with this man.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump is either going to jail for zero years, or 1,000. There’s nothing in between.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bye Bye, TikTok Edition)“The Biden administration is ordering the Chinese parent company of TikTok to either sell the app or face a possible ban. It is a bold move by Biden. If he bans TikTok, China will only be able to spy on us with literally everything else.” — JIMMY FALLON“Don’t mess with this man — he has no use for your addictive apps. Biden’s the kind of guy who can make it through a whole two-week vacation with nothing but a deck of cards and a print edition of Sports Illustrated.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingKal Penn ended his “Daily Show” run with a look into how young voters are being suppressed.Also, Check This Out“I didn’t think I was this brave, no sirree,” Dominique Fishback said about finding what it took to play a killer. “I’m from Brooklyn, I’m an Aries and all that stuff, but I’m very, very sensitive.”Michael Tyrone Delaney for The New York TimesDominique Fishback plays an obsessive fan of a Beyoncé-like pop star in “Swarm,” Amazon’s new series cocreated by Donald Glover. More

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      Kamala Harris Stops By to Chat With Stephen Colbert

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      The vice president visited “The Late Show” on Wednesday for the first time since the 2020 election.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Executive Branch ExclusiveVice President Kamala Harris visited with Stephen Colbert on “The Late Show” on Wednesday. It was her first live appearance on the program since the 2020 election.Colbert asked Harris about recent comments made by Gov. Ron DeSantis of Florida, in which he referred to the war in Ukraine as a “territorial dispute.”“So, as vice president, I have now met with over 100 world leaders. Presidents, prime ministers, chancellors and kings. And when you’ve had the experience of meeting and understanding the significance, again, of international rules and norms, and the importance of the United States of America standing firm and clear about the significance of sovereignty and territorial integrity, the significance of standing firm against any nation that we tried to take by force another nation, if you really understand the issues, you probably would not make statements like that.” — VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS.@VP Kamala Harris shares her thoughts on Gov. Ron DeSantis calling the war in Ukraine a “territorial dispute.” #Colbert pic.twitter.com/ig1vPFEXRI— The Late Show (@colbertlateshow) March 16, 2023
      Harris also weighed in on former Vice President Mike Pence’s assertion that he should not have to answer a federal grand jury subpoena to testify about Jan. 6. Pence has argued that the vice president’s role as president of the Senate means he is protected by the Constitution’s “speech or debate” clause, which shields members of Congress from law enforcement scrutiny over their legislative duties.She quickly answered Colbert’s question over whether the vice president is in the executive or legislative branch of government. “I am in the executive branch,” Harris said, laughing.The Punchiest Punchlines (Droning On Edition)“After Russian fighter jets forced down an unmanned Air Force surveillance drone yesterday over the Black Sea, the White House said Russia’s actions were ‘unsafe, unprofessional and reckless.’ Well, yeah, I mean, it’s Russia. Of course they’re reckless — they think the ‘Jackass’ movies are meditation videos.” — SETH MEYERS“Here’s what we’re told: that there’s nothing to worry about. Yesterday, a Russian fighter jet collided with a U.S. drone. Even worse, after the collision, the Russian plane didn’t even leave a note on the windshield. Now our insurance is going to go up. Of course, all of our drones are insured by the General.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“After a U.S. drone was forced down yesterday by a Russian fighter jet, Russia’s ambassador to the U.S. denied that the two aircraft collided, and Putin is claiming the drone just fell out a window.” — SETH MEYERS“We haven’t seen this kind of hazing on a hunk of metal since the Cuban missile wedgie.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingDave Letterman sat down with “Dave Jr.,” Jimmy Kimmel, on Wednesday.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightKeanu Reeves will talk about the latest chapter of his John Wick franchise on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutHelen Mirren as Hespera and Lucy Liu as Kalypso in “Shazam! Fury of the Gods.”Warner Bros. PicturesThe “Shazam!” stars Helen Mirren and Lucy Liu say they signed on for their first superhero movie because the roles are a leap forward for women. More