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      Late Night Looks at Election Deniers Running for Office

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      Stephen Colbert pointed out that 12 Republicans running for secretary of state have publicly voiced concerns about the validity of the 2020 presidential election.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not Just a River in EgyptSeveral Republicans up for election in the midterms have voiced distrust in the validity of the 2020 presidential election. On Wednesday, Stephen Colbert said he was especially frightened by the 12 running for secretary of state across the country, saying that their wins could mean “the election deniers might be running the next election.”“That doesn’t seem right. That’s like saying, ‘Hey, we need a babysitter — how about Cassandra the Dark, denier of children? I know, I know, but she really wants the job — or don’t you enjoy date night?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Anything can happen, and as a reminder of that, today is the 74th anniversary of one of the greatest election upsets ever. In 1948, Harry Truman beat Thomas Dewey. No one expected Truman to get re-elected, particularly not the Chicago Tribune, which led to one of the most iconic photos in U.S. history: a victorious President Truman holding up the early edition of the paper that incorrectly declared ‘Dewey Defeats Truman.’ It’s very famous. And that blunder led to another iconic photo the next day: ‘Dewey Says Election was Rigged,’ followed by, ‘Frankly, Dewey Did Win This Election’ and ‘Dewey Supporters Raid Capitol, Poop on Floor.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“At a campaign stop in Wisconsin, Republican Senator Ron Johnson said that he is not sure if he will accept the results of next week’s midterm elections and added, ‘Do Democrats have something up their sleeves?’ Have you met the Democrats? They famously have nothing up their sleeve. The best they can manage is a quarter behind the ear.” — SETH MEYERS“Then, over in Nevada, you got former state representative and news anchor from the future telling us about life before the event, Jim Marchant. Marchant ‘falsely claims the former president defeated Joe Biden in Nevada and has said he wouldn’t have certified the results there in 2020,’ and has pushed the ‘false claim that Pelosi, Schumer, and Schiff weren’t legitimately elected.’ Oh, so he’s just denying every election: ‘Schumer lost! Schiff cheated! Justin Guarini beat Kelly Clarkson! I won the J.D. Power and Associates initial customer satisfaction for midsize family van!” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (In the Swing Edition)“Tonight, Biden delivered a prime-time speech from Capitol Hill about the midterm elections and said it could take several days for all of the votes to be counted in some swing states. Unfortunately, after these past two years, every state is a swing state.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, a lot of experts are predicting a red wave on Election Day. You can tell Biden is nervous because he already hired Rudy Giuliani to challenge the results.” — JIMMY FALLON“President Biden also said that next week’s midterms are the ‘most important election of our lifetime.’ And that’s saying something coming from a guy who maybe voted for Lincoln?” — SETH MEYERS“President Biden warned yesterday that Republican Senator Rick Scott wants to cut Social Security and Medicare and added, quote, ‘Hot damn, boy.’ By the way, using the phrase ‘Hot damn, boy’ instantly qualifies you for Medicare.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingAfter a two-year hiatus, “Jimmy Kimmel Live” brought back its annual YouTube Challenge, which asked parents to record their children after being told their parents ate all their Halloween candy.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightParamore, the pop punk band, will perform on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutIn “Causeway,” Jennifer Lawrence plays a military engineer who returns home from Afghanistan after a traumatic brain injury.AppleAfter a brief acting hiatus, Jennifer Lawrence returns to the screen in “Causeway,” an AppleTV+ drama in which she plays an injured military engineer who comes home to New Orleans for an uneasy convalescence. More

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      Stephen Colbert Isn’t Amused by Elon Musk’s Plan to Monetize Twitter

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      Colbert said that Musk’s idea to charge users for verification would lead to “chaos” on Twitter. “I rely on that blue check mark to know which of my butters I can’t not believe!”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Check, Please!According to a leaked business plan, Elon Musk is trying to figure out ways to monetize Twitter and is considering charging Twitter users monthly for verified blue check marks on their profiles.“But that would be chaos,” Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday. “I rely on that blue check mark to know which of my butters I can’t not believe!”“Yeah, $8 a month for the blue check mark, because I guess he’s hoping that everyone else on Twitter will also make terrible financial decisions like he did.” — TREVOR NOAH“With $8 a month, you can subscribe — you can get like, Netflix, you can get Paramount+, you can get Hulu, or you can pay so that people verify that they’re actually [expletive] on you: [imitating tweeter] ‘Oh, this is the real Trevor Noah? I hate this guy, yeah!’” — TREVOR NOAH“Why are you charging the people? Give it to everyone for free, or give it to no one. Give it to no one, right? But it doesn’t make sense to offer it as ‘equality’ and then put a price on it, do you get what I’m saying? Can you imagine if M.L.K. was out there like, ‘I have a dream. I have a dream, and I’ll tell you all about it for $8.99 a month.’” — TREVOR NOAH“And are you telling me that paragons of authenticity like Papa Johns and Papa Johns U.K. will risk falling to the same level as unverified frauds like Papa Johns Houston? You know it’s bad when Papa Johns says, ‘We cannot in good conscience verify that that is pizza.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (One Week From Midterms Edition)“The midterm elections are just one week away. That’s right, in one week, we’ll know who gets the House, the Senate and the upper hand at Thanksgiving.” — JIMMY FALLON“The midterms are only seven days and four secret Herschel Walker abortions away.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You can tell the midterms are close when the fund-raising emails are in all caps: ‘JIMMY, I NEED $10 NOW!’” — JIMMY FALLON“And the big question for Republicans is when to start claiming fraud. You don’t want to go too early, because what if you win? You don’t want to pull a stop the steal on yourself. It’s tricky, you know?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJeff Wright, a “Late Night with Seth Meyers” writer, hosted a support group for some undecided voters on Tuesday’s show.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightYvonne Strahovski will chat about the final season of “The Handmaid’s Tale” on Wednesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutChristina Applegate in the final season of “Dead to Me,” premiering Nov. 17 on Netflix. “This is the first time anyone’s going to see me the way I am,” she said.Saeed Adyani/NetflixThe “Dead to Me” star Christina Applegate was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis during filming of the final season, but she was determined to finish strong. More

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      Trevor Noah Brings ‘The Daily Show’ to Georgia

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      Noah kicked off a week of taping in Atlanta on Monday ahead of next week’s big elections.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Georgia on My MindTrevor Noah kicked off a week of taping “The Daily Show” in Atlanta on Monday night.“Georgia is the epicenter of America’s elections right now,” Noah said. “It decides everything.” One such race, he said, was the contest between the Democratic senator Raphael Warnock and his Republican opponent Herschel Walker, who he was shocked to report are currently “neck and neck.”“I know Walker is all neck, but what is happening?” Noah said.“Every second thing the man says turns out to be a lie. He walks around with a fake police badge, yeah? He pretended he was an F.B.I. agent, all right? He claimed he was anti-abortion, even though he apparently paid for one. He claimed he had only one kid even though he has, like, 1,000. Oh, and he told people he graduated in the top 1 percent of his class at the University of Georgia, and it turned out he never graduated at all. At all. Like, at this point, I want to meet the Herschel Walker that Herschel Walker thinks he is, right? Because at this point, at this point, everything — like, he treats real life the way we treat dating apps.” — TREVOR NOAHNoah noted the Democrats are bringing out “the big guns” ahead of next week’s election, including “Netflix’s very own Barack Obama.”“This race is so important, it even got Obama off the beach.” — TREVOR NOAHObama spoke in support of Warnock at a rally where he said he wouldn’t trust Walker to pilot a plane.“Wow, really? Really, President Obama, really? You are going to say that about a man who graduated in the top 1 percent of pilot school? How dare you! [imitating Herschel Walker] ‘A lot of people don’t know this about me, Herschel, but I was in “Top Gun.” That movie was about me. My name in the ’80s was Pete Maverick.’” — TREVOR NOAH“I love how Obama roasts you with, like, that signature swag. He makes it sound so polite, but he’s roasting the [expletive] out of you.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Biggest Troll of All Edition)“In other lunatic billionaire news, Elon Musk is the new owner of Twitter, and in the first 12 hours after he took over, promising free, unadulterated speech, use of the ‘n’ word went up almost 500 percent. So, mission accomplished, Elon.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The company blamed it on trolls, but of all the trolls on Twitter, none are trollier than the troll who just bought it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Elon Musk tweeted something that was considered misinformation and then deleted it later because it was a false conspiracy theory, which is awkward when you’re the owner of Twitter.” — JIMMY FALLON“Here was the email Musk received. It said, ‘Dear me — I regret to inform me that my tweet violated my terms of service, so I will have to ask me to delete my tweet as soon as me can. If I do not delete my tweet, I will be forced to do it for me. If I-you-me have any questions, you-me should contact me at our-us’s earliest convenience. Yours truly, you.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Today, he fired the entire board, and he’s now floating the idea that verified users may have to pay $20 a month to retain their blue check marks. Not his worst idea. His worst idea would be buying Twitter.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon announced his new holiday duet with Dolly Parton, “Almost Too Early for Christmas,” on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe Broadway cast of “Almost Famous” will perform on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutThe last record to sell one million copies in a week was Taylor Swift’s “Reputation,” in 2017. Mario Anzuoni/ReutersTaylor Swift’s new album “Midnights” debuted with the biggest weekly total sales for any LP since Adele’s “25” in 2015. More

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      Trevor Noah Is Inspired by Trump’s Camera Work

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      Noah joked on Thursday that Trump gets away with so much criminal activity, “it just shows us we could do crime, too.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not So Smooth CriminalAn aide for former President Donald Trump was caught on camera moving boxes out of a storage room at Mar-a-Lago both before and after the Justice Department issued a subpoena demanding the return of all classified documents he’d removed from the White House.Trevor Noah called Trump “a legend.”“Who else gets caught committing crimes with their own security cameras?” Noah said on Thursday. “Who are you? How are you real?”“There’s something inspiring about it, too, when you think about it. It’s actually inspiring. Because Trump is so bad at crime, but he gets away with so much of it, it just shows us we could do crime, too. He’s like the drunk couple at karaoke; hearing them screech through ‘Don’t Stop Believin’ gives you the confidence to try ‘Kiss From a Rose.’” — TREVOR NOAH“Man, he’s a bad criminal. You’re supposed to get rid of the evidence. Trump is the first criminal to plant the evidence on himself.” — SETH MEYERS“I have to say, all this evidence, it’s crazy the only Trump being held in prison right now is Melania.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Remember how he was ranting and raving about the agents searching Barron’s bedroom and going through Melania’s closet? That’s because he put the documents there.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He’s such a bad criminal. If Donald Trump wasn’t born rich, he’d be one of those bank robbers who passes the teller a note with his name signed at the bottom.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Another Day, Another Subpoena Edition)“The House Jan. 6 committee voted unanimously today to subpoena former President Trump. I would say this is big news, but it’s really more like putting one more parking ticket on that van that’s been on your block for a year. That ticket ain’t gettin’ paid.” — SETH MEYERS“And to make sure the former president reads the subpoena, it’s being printed on the wrapper of a Gordita Supreme.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Watching him testify before Congress would be insane. He’d go on all sorts of insane rants and attack people. It would be like casting an actual lion in ‘The Lion King.’” — SETH MEYERS“But I feel like he will be a little conflicted. Because on the one hand, yes, he thinks this is a crooked witch hunt that is out to get him, but on the other hand, the ratings.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Bits Worth WatchingAndrew Garfield, George Clooney, Salma Hayek, Halle Berry and Larry David are just a few celebrities who participated in the latest edition of Mean Tweets on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutTár in charge: Cate Blanchett as the conductor Lydia Tár in Todd Field’s movie.Focus FeaturesCate Blanchett stars as a powerful conductor who behaves as badly as any male maestro in the new film “Tár.” More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Responds to Trump Lashing Out at Late Night

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      “I didn’t even see it, that’s how badly his social media platform is doing,” Kimmel said of Trump’s Truth Social rant about late night hosts.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Truth Is ElsewhereOn Tuesday, Jimmy Kimmel relayed that former President Donald Trump “took a break yesterday from disparaging the FBI to go after” Kimmel and his fellow late night talk show hosts on Truth Social.“I didn’t even see it, that’s how badly his social media platform is doing,” Kimmel said.“He wrote, ‘It was my great honor to have destroyed the ratings of late night comedy shows. There is nothing funny about the shows, the three hosts have very little talent, and when Jimmy Fallon apologized for having humanized Trump and his ratings soared, the radical left forced him to apologize. That was effectively the end of “The Tonight Show”’ — which I’m pretty sure is still on, right?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If anyone knows talent, it’s Donald Trump. He has walked backstage unannounced while young women were changing at some of the biggest talent competitions in the whole world.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And as far as ratings go, on behalf of my fellow late night talk show hosts — Jimmy, Stephen, Seth and I — we’ve been on for a total of 58 seasons and counting; your presidency got canceled after one.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Big 8-0 Edition)“Right after the midterms, there’s going to be another big day: It’s going to be Joe Biden’s birthday, when he’ll turn 80 years old, making him the first president to become an octogenarian while in office. The White House has a little bit of a problem here, because ‘oldest president ever’ is not the kind of record you want to be setting. It’s right up there with Grover Cleveland’s record for longest presidential fingernails.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“According to administration sources, you shouldn’t expect a blowout birthday bash, which is just what you’d say when you’re planning a surprise party! Oh, it’s going to be hot. There’s going to be a senior citizen throw-down! We’re talking Ensure stands, low-cut shawls, and shots, shots, shots: Covid, flu and shingles.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“White House officials are reportedly planning to downplay President Biden’s upcoming 80th birthday. Well, good luck with that, ’cause everything about Biden screams ‘birthday week.’ [imitating Biden] ‘Monday, I’m going bowling with my college buds; Tuesday, shots; Wednesday, Dave & Buster’s, then we’re all flying to Ibiza!’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingSeth Meyers sent up Fox News’s annual “Halloween fearmongering” by adding some newfound holiday threats to the list such as “Mike and Ike are trying to adopt.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJon Gray, Pierre Serrao, and Lester Walker of the Bronx-based collective Ghetto Gastro will appear on “The Daily Show” on Wednesday to talk about their new book, “Black Power Kitchen.”Also, Check This OutMelissa Etheridge, left, and Jill Sobule. In the 1990s, Etheridge made a splash with the hits “Come to My Window” and “I’m the Only One.” That same decade, Sobule released “I Kissed a Girl.”Luisa Opalesky for The New York TimesSinger-songwriters Melissa Etheridge and Jill Sobule are bringing their respective lives and musical careers to the stage in two new shows this week in New York. More

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      Seth Meyers Mocks Trump for Claiming George Bush Took Documents, Too

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      “And that is why to this day, if you’re in Texas, you can stop by H.W.’s Wok and Bowl and Top-Secret Document Warehouse,” Meyers joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘H.W.’s Wok and Bowl and Top-Secret Document Warehouse’Over the weekend, former President Donald Trump was in Nevada and Arizona, where he appeared at rallies in support of the Republican candidates Joe Lombardo, Kari Lake and Blake Masters.“And yet even though Trump is theoretically supposed to be there to campaign for other candidates, he always without exception makes it about himself,” Seth Meyers said. “He’s like the best man at a wedding who gives a drunken toast about how awesome he is.”While in Arizona, Trump claimed that other former presidents had removed classified documents from the White House, saying that the first President George Bush “took millions of documents to a former bowling alley and a former Chinese restaurant.”“He didn’t take the classified documents by accident — he took them on purpose because he thinks they belong to him, and when you’re proving a crime, criminal intent is key. I know that because I watch a show called ‘Law & Order: Criminal Intent’ — it’s right there in the title. There was never a ‘Law & Order’ spinoff called ‘Law & Order: Oops, My Bad.’” — SETH MEYERS“He just kept repeating it, and none of that excuses intentionally stealing and leaving classified documents laying around your golf course.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And that is why to this day, if you’re in Texas, you can stop by H.W.’s Wok and Bowl and Top-Secret Document Warehouse.” — SETH MEYERS“I demand an investigation because, is it just me, or does a combination bowling alley/Chinese restaurant sound incredible?” — JAMES CORDEN“I think I see what Trump is going for here, though, I do. Does he think that fortune cookies are secret documents?” — JAMES CORDEN“To be safe, Bush also hid some in a laser tag-slash-kebab house, and a trampoline park-slash-rib shack.” — JAMES CORDENThe Punchiest Punchlines (First Edition)“Well guys, if you watch MSNBC, I want to say, ‘Happy Indigenous Peoples’ Day.’ And if you watch Fox News, I want to say, ‘Happy Columbus Day.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Not only is it Columbus Day, it’s also Indigenous Peoples’ Day, which is what it should be, probably. But we have to pick one or the other, right? This is like saying it’s Arbor Day and Chain Saw Day — it can’t be both.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, 530 years ago Columbus went on a trip and never made it to his intended destination. Today we call that flying Southwest Airlines.” — JIMMY FALLON“I think it’s probably the most controversial federal holiday of all of them, Columbus Day. Here’s how you know Columbus Day isn’t so hot anymore — there’s no Google doodle for it.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The guy had one job — get to India. He missed it by 9,000 miles, but rather than admit he was wrong and not in India, he just started calling everyone Indians, which is so willfully ignorant. If he were alive today, he could probably run the Republican Party. If you’re being honest with yourself, Columbus is basically what would have happened if Donald Trump had been born in the 1400s and his dad gave him a boat, OK?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingRachel Maddow talked about her new political history podcast, “Ultra,” on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightJamie Lee Curtis will talk about the latest installment of the “Halloween” franchise, “Halloween Ends,” on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutWendell Pierce as Willy Loman in “Death of a Salesman” at the Hudson Theater.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesAn all-Black cast led by Wendell Pierce and Sharon D. Clarke stars in a powerful revival of “Death of a Salesman” at the Hudson Theater. More

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      Stephen Colbert Pens Get-Well Card to Herschel Walker

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      Colbert did not mince words in his greeting to the Senate candidate, who denied paying for a former girlfriend’s abortion, as was reported by The Daily Beast.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Thoughts and PrayersHerschel Walker, the Republican Senate candidate in Georgia and a noted opponent of abortion, denied reports from Monday that he paid for a woman’s abortion in 2009. Walker’s former girlfriend provided a receipt from an abortion clinic and a $700 check she received in a get-well card, The Daily Beast reported.On Tuesday, Stephen Colbert referred to the situation as “a disaster.”“So Walker went on the Fox News last night and was asked about this evidence by the most effective form of birth control known to man, Sean Hannity,” Colbert said.“Well, sure, all celebrities send cards to complete strangers. In fact, you know what? Herschel’s going through a tough time right now, so let me just get this down real quick: ‘Dear Herschel, get well — you know what? Get [expletive], Stephen.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I mean, this woman says that she has a receipt, a check, and a get-well card that he signed. The only way there could be more of a paper trail is if he bought a souvenir T-shirt from the abortion clinic’s gift shop.” — TREVOR NOAH“Imagine being so stupid you write a check for an abortion you want to keep secret. And that card, if you’re wondering where you can even get a card like that, you can find them right next to the ‘dads and grads’ section at CVS.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“A former girlfriend of Republican Georgia Senate candidate Herschel Walker claimed in a new interview that Walker paid for her to get an abortion in 2009. And the only way that will hurt him with Republicans is if some of that money went to pay down her student loans.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Tainted Reputation Edition)“Former President Trump filed a defamation lawsuit yesterday against CNN and claimed that the network has made a ‘persistent association’ between Trump and Adolf Hitler. Yeah, come on, CNN. Can’t a guy hold a series of racist rallies in a country suffering skyrocketing inflation without being compared to Hitler?” — SETH MEYERS“This is true, the lawsuit takes issue with CNN’s use of the words ‘racist’ and ‘insurrectionist’ when discussing Trump. I don’t want to help Trump in this lawsuit, but CNN also called him a billionaire.” — JAMES CORDEN“Get this: Former President Trump is claiming that CNN is trying to hurt his image ahead of the 2024 election, and he announced that $475 million defamation lawsuit against the network. In response, CNN was like, ‘Hey, thanks for thinking we have that kind of money. Wow, we pay Anderson Cooper in Panera bucks, you know what I mean?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He sued CNN for defamation, charging the channel acted with ‘real animosity’ to cause him ‘true harm.’ True harm? They reported the facts! That’s like suing your mirror for giving you cankles.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Specifically, the suit claims that CNN tried to taint the plaintiff, which is not easy — the plaintiff is mostly taint.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But this is tricky territory for Trump. On the one hand, he thinks that CNN calling him racist hurt his chances for re-election. On the other hand, if he says he isn’t racist, that could also hurt his chances for re-election.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Tonight Show” guests Ralph Macchio, Jennifer Beals and Lea Thompson played a game of ’80s-themed charades with Jimmy Fallon on Tuesday.What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightMaggie Haberman will sit down to dish on her new book “Confidence Man” with Trevor Noah on Wednesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This OutLoretta Lynn performing in 1976 in Rochester, N.Y. Her voice was unmistakable, with its Kentucky drawl, its tensely coiled vibrato and its deep reserves of power.Waring Abbott/Getty ImagesThe country music star Loretta Lynn died on Tuesday, leaving behind a legacy of fiery expressions of female resolve. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel: Superman Doesn’t Fit Trump

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      Kimmel joked that aides couldn’t find the right size of Superman ‘Underoos’ for the former president, who wanted to pull a Clark Kent after leaving Walter Reed in 2020.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Just Like Superman Would Never Do’Maggie Haberman’s new book, “Confidence Man,” reveals that in 2020, President Donald Trump wanted to unbutton his shirt to reveal a Superman T-shirt upon his emergence from Walter Reed Hospital after being treated for Covid.“Unfortunately, they couldn’t find Underoos in a size triple-XL,” Jimmy Kimmel joked.“According to Haberman, the plan was Trump would be wheeled out of Walter Reed hospital in a chair, and, once outdoors, he would dramatically stand up, open his button-down dress shirt to reveal a Superman logo. Listen, the only thing Trump does faster than a speeding bullet is have sex. We know that from Stormy Daniels.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“When he was preparing to leave Walter Reed Medical Center in 2020 after being treated for the coronavirus, then-President Trump reportedly told aides he wanted to exit the hospital in a wheelchair and then stand up to reveal a Superman shirt. You know, just like Superman would never do.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punch Lines (Go Fish Edition)“At a fishing tournament in Cleveland on Friday, a duo that had been declared winners were caught cheating. Of course, this was fishing, so after they were caught, they were released.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, it’s a lakeside fishing scandal so explosive, many are calling it ‘Watergate.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I haven’t seen white dudes this mad about fish since Disney announced the ‘Little Mermaid’ thing.” — TREVOR NOAH“You 100 percent could’ve told me that was footage from Jan. 6, and I would have believed you.” — JAMES CORDEN“Honestly, in a million years, I would never be able to guess that professional fishermen’s trash talk would include the phrase, ‘Where’s your crown now?’” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingTrevor Noah looked into a new dating app for conservatives called The Right Stuff on Monday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe national touring company of “Oklahoma!” will perform on Tuesday’s “Late Late Show.”Also, Check This OutJack Webb in “Dragnet” and Amanda Warren in “East New York.”From left: NBC, via Getty Images; Scott McDermott/CBSPolice procedurals date back to the dawn of television, but the genre has evolved over the years. More