Late Night with Seth Meyers (TV Program)

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      Jimmy Kimmel Finds Irony in the G.O.P. Vote to Cancel Liz Cheney

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      “I’m confused — I thought these guys hated cancel culture,” Kimmel said after the Republicans ousted Cheney from her leadership position in the House on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Ouster of Liz CheneyLate-night hosts were all over the vote by Republicans to boot Representative Liz Cheney on Wednesday from her House leadership post after she refused to toe the party line on Donald J. Trump.“I’m confused — I thought these guys hated cancel culture,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“I never thought I’d be pro-Cheney in any way, but it has happened.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“She said Republicans must speak the truth; the election was not stolen. So she had to go.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Living in reality should be the bare minimum for holding public office, and yet today’s G.O.P. is so [expletive] crazy, simply living in reality is considered heresy.” — SETH MEYERS“I mean, here they are, trying to move past the attempted coup and focus on looking forward to the next attempted coup, but Cheney just wouldn’t let it go.” — TREVOR NOAH“Wow, I respect Liz Cheney taking a stand against Trump, but it does feel a little less threatening when she’s doing it as she’s being removed from power, you know? It’s got the vibe of a villain falling into a volcano while saying, ‘This isn’t over!’” — TREVOR NOAH“Cheney was ousted via voice vote during a closed-door meeting. So we don’t know exactly what happened, but sources in the room say she made a defiant final speech that drew boos from her colleagues. But to be fair, Matt Gaetz boos any woman not wearing braces.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Her principal political patron is a man who was compared to Darth Vader and took it as a compliment. She learned Washington infighting from a man who lived a year with no heartbeat. If I were Kevin McCarthy, I’d grow a beard and dig a spider hole.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Liz ‘Loose Canon’ Cheney Edition)“House Republicans voted today to remove G.O.P. conference chair Liz Cheney from her leadership position, but they’re already claiming it never happened.” — SETH MEYERS“You know, you can’t have Republicans going around saying Biden won the election — people might get the right idea.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, Republicans haven’t turned on someone this fast since they tried to murder Mike Pence.” — JIMMY FALLON“They had to! She was a loose cannon. They made her turn in her badge and her gun, and her other gun, and her other, other gun. They really like guns.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“After the vote, Liz Cheney said that she doesn’t want Trump to get near the Oval Office ever again. Yeah, it’s not that hard — all you have to do is hang a sign outside that says, ‘Just Salad.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingSamantha Bee dedicated Wednesday’s “Full Frontal” to confronting gun violence and asking viewers to “do one [expletive] thing about guns.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightChris Rock, star of “Spiral,” will be on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutThe Go-Go’s in the early 1980s. From left: Kathy Valentine, Jane Wiedlin, Gina Schock, Charlotte Caffey and Belinda Carlisle.Paul Natkin/WireImageHalf of this year’s Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees are women, including Tina Turner, Carole King and the Go-Go’s. More

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      Late Night Can’t Help but Laugh at Trump’s Calling Horse a ‘Junkie’

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      Jimmy Kimmel called the former president “our own Triple Clown winner” in his monologue about a drug scandal involving the Kentucky Derby winner, Medina Spirit.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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      The F.B.I.’s Giuliani Raids Warm Late Night’s Heart

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      Federal agents “made sure to show up in daylight, when Rudy was still asleep in his coffin,” Jimmy Kimmel said on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Sweating Grecian Formula’Late-night hosts couldn’t resist mocking Rudy Giuliani on Wednesday after the F.BI. searched his apartment and his office in Manhattan.“The F.B.I. showed up with search warrants at 6 o’clock this morning. They made sure to show up in daylight, when Rudy was still asleep in his coffin,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“Come on, that’s way too early! Rudy’s not himself until he’s had his first cup of hot breakfast wine.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They took the former mayor’s electronic devices; they were seized. I think it’s safe to assume none of those electronic devices were toothbrushes.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I know Rudy Giuliani is a high-powered lawyer, mayor of New York City, adviser to the president of the United States, but I still picture his office above a repair shop right next to a palm reader’s.” — JAMES CORDEN“But Rudy’s lawyer — very upset. He called the raid ‘legal thuggery.’ He said, ‘Why would you do this to anyone, let alone someone who was the associate attorney general, U.S. attorney, mayor of New York City and the personal lawyer to the 45th president of the United States?’ Who would dare to show up unannounced and take his beloved Jitterbug phone? It’s just not American.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Investigators are reportedly conducting a criminal investigation into Giuliani’s dealings in Ukraine to try to dig up dirt on the Bidens on behalf of Donald Trump. And if you think he was sweating Grecian Formula before, you should see him now.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“When the agents walked in, Rudy got so nervous, he started sweating hair dye and tucking all the evidence down his pants.” — JIMMY FALLON“Oh no, they took his cellphone. Now he’ll have to butt-dial reporters on a landline.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yeah, Rudy panicked and called his lawyer, then when his own phone starting ringing, he panicked even more.” — JIMMY FALLON“But lucky for Rudy, wives can’t testify against their cousins.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (New Address Edition)“Well, guys, earlier tonight, President Biden delivered his first joint address to Congress on the eve of his 100th day in office. Last time someone in their 70s got that much applause, they were doing ‘Da Butt.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Biden was the first president to deliver the speech in front of a mask-wearing audience. If you don’t count Bill Clinton’s last State of the Union, whose theme was ‘Eyes Wide Shut.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“President Biden tonight laid out the specifics for his ‘American Families Plan.’ Trump had a family plan, too, but his was to give jobs to everyone in his family.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, the Capitol took center stage tonight, and I got to be honest, it was nice to see someone behind the podium who wasn’t wearing deer antlers and a pelt.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, it was a fun night for Democrats. On the other hand, Republicans didn’t seem too thrilled. They looked like they just heard their best hope in 2024 is Randy Quaid.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Wednesday’s “Full Frontal,” Samantha Bee urged the Biden administration to step up improvements to the country’s border policies.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightLeslie Jordan will promote his new book, “How Y’all Doing? Misadventures and Mischief From a Life Well Lived,” on Thursday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutFlorence Welch is part of a formidable team enlisted to bring “The Great Gatsby” to the stage.Rob Grabowski/Invision, via Rob Grabowski, via Invision, via Associated PressFlorence Welch of Florence + the Machine will write the lyrics for the new “Great Gatsby” stage musical. More

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      Late Night Celebrates Earth Day

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      “Earth Day started back in the ’70s with very lofty goals and has kind of turned into, ‘Guys, please, just for one day try not to light garbage on or near a panda bear, OK?’” Jimmy Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Save the Rainforest (Cafes)Late-night hosts celebrated Earth Day on Thursday, with Jimmy Kimmel touching on the holiday’s origins.“Earth Day started back in the ’70s with very lofty goals and has kind of turned into, ‘Guys, please, just for one day try not to light garbage on or near a panda bear, OK?’” Jimmy Kimmel joked.“There are so many amazing things from Earth. I mean, we have oceans and mountains, and shaving cream, and pine cones and the iPhone. We’ve got monkeys; we’ve got chocolate-covered raisins. Ryan Gosling, we’ve got Ryan Reynolds. We’ve got the Aurora Borealis. Pens are good. ‘Property Brothers,’ Magic Johnson, tennis rackets, yoga pants, poodles, tacos, yarn, marshmallows and Mr. T. I mean, that is a diverse portfolio of things that we should be grateful for.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Of course, Earth Day is like prom in that every year has a theme. This year’s is ‘Restore Our Earth.’ Yes, we have to, or pretty soon the theme’s going to be ‘Enchantment Under the Sea.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“A lot of stores celebrated Earth Day. H&M added a section for sustainable items, Lowe’s offered a free garden-to-go kit, and Subway recycled last week’s tuna.” — JIMMY FALLON“I’m kidding around, but protecting the Earth is serious. I mean, can you believe that in 1999, we had nearly 50 Rainforest Cafes, and now we’re down to almost 20?” — JIMMY FALLONClimate ChangesPresident Biden’s climate summit was a related hot topic, with late-night hosts touching on the president’s announcement that the United States will cut its carbon emissions in half by 2030.“Added Biden, ‘Of course that responsibility will ultimately fall to President the Rock.’” — SETH MEYERS“Other countries are cautiously optimistic now. They’re like, ‘OK, but last year, weren’t you the guys saying climate change isn’t real? Which America are we talking to?’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The science is absolutely clear that it’s necessary to avoid a worldwide catastrophe. No one should be against this, so naturally, almost every Republican is against this.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Climate change is getting harder to ignore. Last year, wildfires blazing in the Arctic Circle set new emissions records, the Atlantic hurricane season raged stronger than ever, and we reached the end of the hottest decade ever recorded. Most of that came in the last year due to the rise in ‘Bridgerton’ butt.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The tone of the summit was that we’re all responsible. But you know, Costa Rica was looking at the U.S. and China like: ‘Yeah, this is all our fault, right? Yeah. We’re all to blame.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Earth Day Edition)“Happy Earth Day! Everyone is in the spirit. This morning at 7-Eleven, I saw a rat drinking a Big Gulp with a metal straw.” — JIMMY FALLON“Today was Earth Day. ‘Ah, yes, the place I’m totally from,’ said Mark Zuckerberg.” — SETH MEYERS“That’s right, today was Earth Day even though I didn’t planet.” — SETH MEYERS“Today was the 51st Earth Day, although the Earth was like, ‘Let’s say — let’s just tell people I’m 35.’” — JAMES CORDEN“Humans celebrating Earth Day is like fleas celebrating Dog Day.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingDesus and Mero caught up with a friend of the show, Issa Rae, about her official new status as media mogul after Ms. Rae, the “Insecure” creator and star, signed an eight-figure deal with WarnerMedia.Also, Check This OutFans have gotten their wish: LeVar Burton is slated to guest-host “Jeopardy!” the last week of July.Etienne Laurent/EPA, via ShutterstockAfter fans campaigned online, LeVar Burton will guest-host “Jeopardy.” More

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      Seth Meyers: Chauvin Verdict Confirms ‘What We Saw With Our Own Eyes’

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      “As we’ve explained on this show many times before, the culture and system of policing in this country must be dismantled and reformed,” Meyers said on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Holding Out for Justice for AllOn Wednesday, as Derek Chauvin’s conviction in the killing of George Floyd continued to reverberate around the country, Seth Meyers said it was “at the very least a relief to have what we saw with our own eyes confirmed by a court of law, even if it’s still a sorrow moment for grief and mourning, because this one verdict alone does not mean justice is done.”“True justice would mean George Floyd would still be alive today. True justice would mean Black people no longer having to live in fear of being killed by police. But there was at least accountability, which is hopefully a comfort to George Floyd’s family, and all those mourning his death, and a first step toward true justice and the reform we so desperately need, because it is undeniably the case that this is not the end of the story. As we’ve explained on this show many times before, the culture and system of policing in this country must be dismantled and reformed.” — SETH MEYERSSamantha Bee and Stephen Colbert also described Chauvin’s conviction on all charges as just a step in the right direction on a long path to righting generations of injustice.“While yesterday’s guilty verdicts are a step toward justice, they don’t change the fact that a man was murdered and Black people are still being killed by police. We have a long way to go to make this a country that, I don’t know, actually treats everybody like human [expletive] beings?” — SAMANTHA BEE“Americans are still emotionally processing yesterday’s verdict by a Minnesota jury that found Derek Chauvin guilty on three counts in the murder of George Floyd. It brings up a lot of complex feelings, because no jury verdict can bring George Floyd back, but the news of this accountability was celebrated across the nation, in Minnesota, New York and across the street from the White House, in Black Lives Matter Plaza, where people were dancing and crying with relief. What a difference 11 months make: Last time they were crying from tear gas and rubber bullets.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, the problem of police violence against people of color is still far from solved. While this is a welcome verdict, it’s like wiping up a spill on the Titanic: Good job, now let’s focus on the water pooling around our ankles.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yeah, it should not take nine minutes of damning video to get some accountability. There’s a reason the Pledge of Allegiance doesn’t say, ‘With liberty and justice for all who are being filmed on an iPhone. Otherwise, sucks to be you!’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Misleaders Edition)“We can see the injustice with our own eyes, but there’s a whole industry of people, from police unions, to private prisons, to cable pundits, whose very lucrative job is to try to convince us that what we can see and hear with our own eyes and ears is not real. In fact, it’s worth going back and reading the initial police description of Floyd’s murder before the video came out to see just how deeply detached from reality it was. Here’s the official headline: ‘Man dies after medical incident during police interaction.’ It’s shocking. It’s hard to fathom. It’s like writing a book report about ‘Lord of the Flies’ called, ‘Kids successfully cooperate during tropical vacation, remain lifelong friends.’” — SETH MEYERS“Many Americans on Twitter, on various platforms, have spoken passionately, powerfully, about the verdicts and their significance yesterday, but none spoke less eloquently than Tucker Carlson of Fox News.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“After former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin was found guilty yesterday, Fox News host Tucker Carlson claimed the jury was intimidated into the guilty verdict by the protests and the Black Lives Matter movement, which is frustrating for Carlson, because he put a lot of work into intimidating that jury.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingSamantha Bee made the case for federal legalization of marijuana on Wednesday’s “Full Frontal.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe Olympic champion gymnast Simone Biles will join Jimmy Fallon on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutIn “Minari,” Steven Yeun, front, portrays a Korean immigrant who moves with his family to rural Arkansas in the 1980s; Lee Isaac Chung directed.David Bornfriend/A24With more female directors and people of color nominated for Oscars, the coronavirus pandemic seemed to have a positive effect on the diversity of this year’s Academy Awards. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Heckles ‘Future Former Florida Congressman’ Matt Gaetz

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      Kimmel poked fun at Gaetz and his friend Joel Greenberg for making their Venmo transactions public: “One of those ‘salads’ cost more than $1,000 — I guess they added avocado.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Public FinanceJimmy Kimmel poked fun at “future former Florida congressman” Matt Gaetz on Thursday night over the more than 150 public Venmo transactions that Gaetz and his friend Joel Greenberg made to dozens of young women.“Three payments for $500, $500, $250, labeled ‘ice cream’; five other payments labeled ‘salad,’” Kimmel noted. “One of those ‘salads’ cost more than $1,000 — I guess they added avocado.”“Two of the transactions were for ‘stuff’ and ‘other stuff.’ And let me just say this: It’s bad enough that Matt Gaetz is implicated in doing ‘stuff.’ But ‘other stuff’? That’s outrageous.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And, of course, we know about all of this because stupid Joel Greenberg made his Venmo transactions public, as did Matt Gaetz. They didn’t check the privacy box. What’s the opposite of a criminal mastermind?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Chances are pretty high that if you’ve broken the law, there’s evidence of it on your phone, especially since Gaetz was reportedly using Cash App and Venmo to make payments to his indicted buddy. Used to be when politicians broke the law, they stuffed an envelope full of $100 bills and met their contact in a parking garage. Now they just Venmo a buddy with an emoji of an envelope stuffed with cash.” — SETH MEYERS“I’d say along with getting your phone seized, being chased down a flight of stairs by a crowd of reporters and getting hustled into the back seat of a waiting car isn’t a sign that things are going great. That’s classic corrupt politician stuff. No one ever in that situation is in it for a good reason: ‘Sir, sir, can you tell us how you cured cancer?’ ‘I didn’t cure cancer; stop spreading lies about me. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to be rushed into this unmarked van.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Northern Exposure Edition)“In Canada yesterday, a member of Parliament, which is Canada’s equivalent to our House of Representatives, accidentally exposed himself on an official government Zoom meeting. His camera was on, he didn’t know it, and everyone saw his Canadian bacon.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This is the Canadian version of storming the Capitol.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“People alerted him right after they took a million screen shots.” — JIMMY FALLON“Before putting on pants, he was like, ‘It’s cold here today in Canada, isn’t it cold? Everyone’s talking about how cold it is.’” — JIMMY FALLON“He was completely nude. He was changing after a jog, and thought his camera was off. From now on you can call me that guy’s camera because I am turned on.” — JAMES CORDEN“The member of Parliament apologized and explained it was an innocent mistake — but also, if you want to see more, check out his OnlyFans page.” — JAMES CORDEN“Of course, he apologized — he’s Canadian. He would have apologized whether it happened or not.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But can you imagine if this happened here? If Jerry Nadler started swinging his thing around on camera?” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth Watching“The Daily Show” detailed what it’s like for Black families to have “the talk.”Also, Check This OutIn “Mare of Easttown,” Kate Winslet plays a Pennsylvania detective dealing with missing girls and mounting personal problems.Michele K. Short/HBOKate Winslet plays a small-town cop investigating the murders of several young women in HBO’s new mini-series, “Mare of Eassttown.” More