Late Show with Stephen Colbert (TV Program)

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      Jimmy Kimmel Believes Trump Would Flip on His Own Children

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      Kimmel agreed with Michael Cohen, the former president’s longtime personal lawyer, who said in an interview that Trump would turn on anyone to save himself.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Alleged Children’Michael D. Cohen, the longtime personal lawyer for Donald J. Trump, said in an interview this week with MSNBC that the former president would turn on anyone to save himself, including his own children.On Thursday, Jimmy Kimmel referred to Cohen as “the guy who mortgaged his own house to pay Stormy Daniels, only to be cast aside by Mr. Wonderful.”“Michael Cohen, who knows Donald Trump as well as anyone, believes that in the end, the snake will devour his own eggs,” Kimmel said.“Said Trump: ‘Alleged children.’” — SETH MEYERS“It’s almost like he’s speaking from personal experience, huh?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The saddest part is going to be when Trump forgets to pin a crime on Tiffany.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Can’t believe I’m saying it, but I think prison was great for Michael Cohen. Came out with a new attitude and a quiver full of zingers, got rid of that baby blue jacket.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (‘A Riot Place’ Edition)“Last night, the House voted 252 to 175 to form a commission that would investigate the Jan. 6 Capitol riots. But that’s right, that’s almost half of the House voted ‘no’. It’s like playing a game of Clue and half the players are like: ‘I think we just let this one go, right? With the pipe and the library — we’re good.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, not only did 175 Republicans vote against the commission, they also want to make Jan. 6 ‘Bring your insane rioter to work day.’” — JIMMY FALLON“The bill now heads to the Senate, where it needs support of 10 Republicans. Come on, there’s a better chance of 10 dentists supporting Mtn. Dew Cake-Smash.” — JIMMY FALLON“Republicans seem to think that if they don’t talk about Jan. 6, no one else will, either. It’s all laid out in the new movie, ‘A Riot Place.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“We were all watching it live — we saw it happen. You can’t just wave your hand in front of our faces and tell us it didn’t happen like you’re starring in some new Disney+ spinoff called ‘[expletive] Jedi.’” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert challenged his first in-person guest in 14 months, John Krasinski, to arm wrestling on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutFrankie Beverly performing with Maze at the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival in 2019.Amy Harris/Invision, via Associated PressOn the new episode of “Still Processing,” the co-hosts Jenna Wortham and Wesley Morris discuss the continued relevance of the 1981 Black anthem “Before I Let Go” by Maze featuring Frankie Beverly. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Rakes Republicans for Downplaying the Capitol Attack

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      “You know, when a violent mob attacked our embassy in Benghazi, Republicans in Congress investigated it eight times,” Kimmel said. “A violent mob attacked the U.S. Capitol, they’re like: ‘Tourists! What are you gonna do?’”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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      Trevor Noah Can’t Believe Biden Has a Venmo Account

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      “Joe Biden has a Venmo account? How? The dude is, like, 150 years old,” Noah joked, saying he assumed Biden “paid for everything with silver dollars.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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      Jimmy Fallon Is Psyched About Going Maskless

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      “Yeah, if you are fully vaccinated, you can go back to doing the things you did before the pandemic,” Fallon said. “Well, not everything — if you’re Trump, you still can’t tweet.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Finds Irony in the G.O.P. Vote to Cancel Liz Cheney

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      “I’m confused — I thought these guys hated cancel culture,” Kimmel said after the Republicans ousted Cheney from her leadership position in the House on Wednesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Ouster of Liz CheneyLate-night hosts were all over the vote by Republicans to boot Representative Liz Cheney on Wednesday from her House leadership post after she refused to toe the party line on Donald J. Trump.“I’m confused — I thought these guys hated cancel culture,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“I never thought I’d be pro-Cheney in any way, but it has happened.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“She said Republicans must speak the truth; the election was not stolen. So she had to go.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Living in reality should be the bare minimum for holding public office, and yet today’s G.O.P. is so [expletive] crazy, simply living in reality is considered heresy.” — SETH MEYERS“I mean, here they are, trying to move past the attempted coup and focus on looking forward to the next attempted coup, but Cheney just wouldn’t let it go.” — TREVOR NOAH“Wow, I respect Liz Cheney taking a stand against Trump, but it does feel a little less threatening when she’s doing it as she’s being removed from power, you know? It’s got the vibe of a villain falling into a volcano while saying, ‘This isn’t over!’” — TREVOR NOAH“Cheney was ousted via voice vote during a closed-door meeting. So we don’t know exactly what happened, but sources in the room say she made a defiant final speech that drew boos from her colleagues. But to be fair, Matt Gaetz boos any woman not wearing braces.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Her principal political patron is a man who was compared to Darth Vader and took it as a compliment. She learned Washington infighting from a man who lived a year with no heartbeat. If I were Kevin McCarthy, I’d grow a beard and dig a spider hole.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Liz ‘Loose Canon’ Cheney Edition)“House Republicans voted today to remove G.O.P. conference chair Liz Cheney from her leadership position, but they’re already claiming it never happened.” — SETH MEYERS“You know, you can’t have Republicans going around saying Biden won the election — people might get the right idea.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Yeah, Republicans haven’t turned on someone this fast since they tried to murder Mike Pence.” — JIMMY FALLON“They had to! She was a loose cannon. They made her turn in her badge and her gun, and her other gun, and her other, other gun. They really like guns.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“After the vote, Liz Cheney said that she doesn’t want Trump to get near the Oval Office ever again. Yeah, it’s not that hard — all you have to do is hang a sign outside that says, ‘Just Salad.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingSamantha Bee dedicated Wednesday’s “Full Frontal” to confronting gun violence and asking viewers to “do one [expletive] thing about guns.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightChris Rock, star of “Spiral,” will be on Thursday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutThe Go-Go’s in the early 1980s. From left: Kathy Valentine, Jane Wiedlin, Gina Schock, Charlotte Caffey and Belinda Carlisle.Paul Natkin/WireImageHalf of this year’s Rock & Roll Hall of Fame inductees are women, including Tina Turner, Carole King and the Go-Go’s. More

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      Stephen Colbert Roasts Jeff Bezos for His ‘Support Yacht’

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      The founder of Amazon has a new superyacht that is so big, it requires a second yacht with a helipad. “I mean, who hasn’t needed a separate yacht just for his helicopter?” Colbert joked on Tuesday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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      Late Night Can’t Help but Laugh at Trump’s Calling Horse a ‘Junkie’

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      Jimmy Kimmel called the former president “our own Triple Clown winner” in his monologue about a drug scandal involving the Kentucky Derby winner, Medina Spirit.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. More

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      Stephen Colbert Can Relate to Ted Cruz

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      “Now that Joe’s president, I find it much easier to sleep, too,” Colbert joked on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. We’re all stuck at home at the moment, so here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Snoozin’ CruzSenator Ted Cruz, Republican of Texas, appeared to have fallen asleep during segments of President Biden’s congressional address on Wednesday.“I can relate to Ted Cruz,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday night. “Now that Joe’s president, I find it much easier to sleep, too.”“Ted Cruz was so bored at that speech that he fell asleep. And I know what you are thinking right now. You think I’m going to say something like ‘Oh, that’s weird, I thought lizards slept with their eyes open.’ But I’m not going to say that, because honestly, that was the most relatable thing that Ted Cruz has ever done.” — TREVOR NOAH“Dreaming of Cancún, no doubt.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Lyin’ Ted just turned into Snoozin’ Cruz.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Now, to be fair, he had a full day of flipping off babies at the park.” — JAMES CORDEN“Because that speech was boring, and when you consider that almost none of Biden’s goals are going to get past Congress, we basically just listened to an old man talk for an hour about his dreams.” — TREVOR NOAH“President Biden called on Congress last night to create a new agency to develop breakthrough treatments for diseases such as Alzheimer’s and cancer, and who knows, maybe even narcolepsy.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (100 Days Down Edition)“Today marks the end of President Joe Biden’s first 100 days in office, which is the period where every president tries to get their big things done. You know, F.D.R. introduced the New Deal, Ronald Reagan rolled back the welfare state, and Bill Clinton installed that stripper pole in the situation room.” — TREVOR NOAH“And to celebrate the occasion, last night Joe Biden delivered his first address to Congress. Yes, for hundreds of years Joe Biden has sat and watched other presidents give speeches to Congress, but now it was his turn.” — TREVOR NOAH“Joe Biden’s got that new job enthusiasm, which always fades over time. You know, and right now he’s like ‘I’m changing everything.’ And like a year or so from now, his top priority — top priority — is going to be angling his computer monitor so that no one can see he’s watching ‘Outlander.’” — TREVOR NOAH“And get this: 85 percent of people who watched Biden’s speech approved of it. That’s amazing. The only other things Americans like that much are Dolly Parton and cheese fries.” — JIMMY FALLON“In Trump’s first 100 days he accomplished a lot, too. He tweeted that Snoop Dogg’s career was failing, that Nordstrom was mean to Ivanka, and that he was a better host of ‘The Apprentice’ than Arnold Schwarzenegger.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingDesus and Mero shared some thoughts about Justin Bieber’s new dreadlocks.Also, Check This OutAfter a breakthrough performance on “The Tonight Show” in 2017, “there were a lot of people I felt that had pigeonholed me into this idea of what they thought I was,” Harrison said.Chantal Anderson for The New York TimesOften playing a scene-stealing side character, Patti Harrison finally gets a starring role in “Together Together.” More