Lydic, Desi (1981- )

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    Stephen Colbert Is a Little Alarmed About Trump’s Gaza Proposal

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    Colbert wasn’t the only host flabbergasted by President Trump’s plan to take over Gaza, move the Palestinians out and turn it into a resort destination.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.First Dibs on the Gaza StripAt a White House news conference on Tuesday, President Trump said the United States should take over Gaza, which he said could be turned into “the Riviera of the Middle East” once all the Palestinians there had been moved out.On Wednesday’s “Late Show,” the camera cut from that clip to Stephen Colbert in a fright wig. “I’m sorry, that was just so shocking, it made me put a wig on,” he said.“All these years, I don’t know why no one else thought to call shotgun on the Holy Land.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“A source close to the president said it was Trump’s own idea. Everyone was like, ‘Oh, we can tell.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump wants to take over Greenland, Canada and now the Gaza Strip. He’s like everyone at 2 a.m., drunk-ordering off Amazon: ‘[slurring] I’m going to — I’m going to add Gaza Strip to the cart. I want Gaza Strip.” — JIMMY FALLON“This is really what he wants to do. It’s like our country is being run by the maniac from ‘Saw.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Every idea is worse than the last idea. He seems to believe that the reason there’s conflict in Gaza is because no one thought to give them a pickleball court. Everything, no matter what the crisis may be, everything always comes back to real estate with him.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The only thing the United Nations and the Taliban have in common is they both think this is a terrible idea.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Gaza Glow-Up Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Wants Canada to Save Us, Eh?

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      Kimmel is all for making Canada the 51st state: “If Canada also had 54 electoral votes, forget MAGA — our next president will be a kindhearted lesbian moose.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Oh, CanadaPresident Trump agreed to suspend his threatened tariffs on Canada’s exports after making a deal with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau on Monday.Trump said he considered Canada’s “concessions” a “big victory,” but Jimmy Kimmel noted on Tuesday that Trudeau had reiterated a border commitment that he’d already announced.”That’s right, under President Trump, our allies will be reiterating in their boots from now on,” Kimmel said.“Next, his plan is he’s going to force France to give us the Statue of Liberty. Won’t that be nice? The art of the deal.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s nice, he decided not to break up with them till after Valentine’s Day.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump’s also doubling down on this idea that Canada would agree to become our 51st state — as if Drake hasn’t been through enough this week.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But let’s just imagine for a second that somehow they do make this happen and Canada does become a state. Do they think it would be a red state? There are 41 million people living in Canada. They’re about the same number we have in California. California has 54 electoral votes. If Canada also had 54 electoral votes, forget MAGA — our next president will be a kindhearted lesbian moose.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I’m trying to say, I’m for it. Save us, Canada — you’re our only hope.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Egg Edition)“I never thought I’d live in a time where there’d be surge pricing on eggs. This is going to be a tough Easter, kids. Get ready to start hunting Swedish meatballs.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Can you imagine if Joe Biden was still president and there weren’t any eggs in the store? Trump would be screaming into an empty McMuffin right now.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Can’t Believe Matt Gaetz Won’t Be Attorney General

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      Jimmy Kimmel said the scandal-ridden ex-congressman’s withdrawal was “exciting news for Judge Jeanine Pirro, who will be our next attorney general.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Distraction From the DistractionsMatt Gaetz, who was President-elect Donald J. Trump’s choice for attorney general despite allegations that he’d used drugs and had sex with a 17-year-old, withdrew his name from consideration on Thursday.Jimmy Kimmel said the ex-congressman from Florida had “crawled back under the rock of cocaine he scurried out from under.”“He said he decided to take his MAGA hat out of the ring because his nomination was becoming a distraction to the critical work of the Trump/Vance transition. Which is true: President-elect Trump should not be distracted from his critical work of creating other distractions.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Gaetz said he was honored that Trump nominated him, and he looks forward to spending more time posing as a high school senior on the Roblox Reddit page.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“See, the thing is, Trump did this wrong. He did it in the wrong order. First, you nominate Diddy for attorney general, then Matt Gaetz.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“This Gaetz situation is a setback for Trump, but it’ll all be forgotten as soon as he nominates new surgeon general Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“All of this attention on this sex criminal was unfairly distracting from the critical work of all the other sex criminals who have been nominated.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“And while this is sad news for Gaetz and his fans, it is potentially very exciting news for Judge Jeanine Pirro, who will be our next attorney general.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Poor Rudy Giuliani. He has to be on the twin bed in the office his son converted into a guest room right now, going, ‘What about me?’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Withdrawal Edition)“Former Florida congressman Matt Gaetz withdrew today as President-elect Trump’s nominee for attorney general. This puts a lot of pressure on Trump, because now there’s not much time to find somebody worse.” — SETH MEYERS“Matt Gaetz is out? But his nomination was only eight days old! Once again, he can’t even make it to 18.” — SETH MEYERS“If you’ve ever dreamed of being an attorney general, update your résumé, because they have an opening.” — DESI LYDICThe Bits Worth WatchingGwyneth Paltrow and DJ Khaled played a game of “True Confessions” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutRachel Elizabeth Seed’s mother, Sheila Turner Seed, in “A Photographic Memory.”Capariva FilmsRachel Elizabeth Seed’s new documentary, “A Photographic Memory,” weaves meditations on memory and the nature of photography with a personal narrative about her mother, a photographer who died when she was 18 months old. More

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      Desi Lydic Says Trump is ‘Picking Mascots,’ Not Leaders

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      “The Daily Show” host said Trump could do worse than an “actual doctor” like Dr. Oz to lead the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services: “I’m impressed he didn’t pick Dr Pepper.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Paging Dr. Oz, Medicare MascotPresident-elect Donald Trump continued to roll out his cabinet selections this week, with Dr. Mehmet Oz being tapped to lead the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services.On Wednesday’s “The Daily Show,” the host Desi Lydic said, “It could be worse.”“At least Dr. Oz is an actual doctor. I’m impressed he didn’t pick Dr Pepper.” — DESI LYDIC“So far, he’s made a number of cabinet picks whose main qualification seems to be being on TV. His defense secretary is a guy from ‘Fox & Friends,’ his transportation secretary is a guy from Fox Business, and his attorney general is a guy who I’m pretty sure was on ‘To Catch a Predator.’” — DESI LYDIC“Wow, another daytime television guy. It’s like his whole cabinet was selected by a kid who was home sick with the flu.” — SETH MEYERS“But is someone going to tell him that this isn’t actually a doctor’s job? This is running a vast insurance bureaucracy. If you have to pick someone from TV, at least pick the LiMu Emu.”— DESI LYDIC“And you might be saying, ‘Relax, Dr. Oz doesn’t have to know what he’s doing — he’ll have people around him who do.’ Sure, except that Dr. Oz’s boss will be R.F.K. Jr.” — DESI LYDIC“There’s not going to be a layer of competent workers at some point. It’s just celebrities all the way down. Because Donald Trump isn’t really picking leaders of agencies — he’s just picking mascots.” — DESI LYDICThe Punchiest Punchlines (Happy Birthday, President Biden Edition)“President Biden today celebrated his 82nd birthday, and he marked the occasion the way many older men do, by fighting Jake Paul.” — SETH MEYERS“Happy birthday, Joe! We got you a cake, but Nancy Pelosi insisted you sacrifice it for the good of democracy.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“You could tell Biden is getting up there because they didn’t cut him a slice of cake — they puréed it and he drank it with a straw.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Processes Donald Trump’s Re-Election

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      “Trump returning to the White House is a huge historic comeback for someone who literally never went away,” Jimmy Fallon said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Infernal FlameLate-night hosts spent Wednesday processing the 2024 election results and former President Donald Trump’s sweeping win.On “The Daily Show,” Desi Lydic lamented that “instead of breaking the glass ceiling, last night America decided to get back with her dirtbag ex.”“Yep, it’s official. America elected its first criminal president before electing its first female president. What a day for proud felonists.” — DESI LYDIC“We’ve had two qualified, accomplished women nominated for president, and both times they lost to the worst man in the whole country.” — DESI LYDIC“Yup, Trump could be the first president to be under White House arrest.” — JIMMY FALLON“All day yesterday, I was walking around proudly wearing my ‘I voted’ sticker. Today, I wore my ‘I am questioning my fundamental belief in the goodness of humanity’ sticker.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now, as a late-night host, people often say to me, ‘Come on, part of you has got to want Trump to win because he gives you so much material to work with.’ No, no. No one tells the guy who cleans the bathroom, ‘Wow, you must love it when someone has explosive diarrhea — there’s so much material for you to work with!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I guess this election wasn’t rigged. That’s weird, though, right? I mean, he said it would be rigged. He said it was being rigged while people were in line voting. Isn’t it remarkable that this time, the fix wasn’t in? Last time, the Democrats cheated. This time, we chose not to, I guess.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Donald Trump is like the emperor from ‘Star Wars.’ He’s old, he’s evil and he keeps coming back with no reasonable explanation whatsoever.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Four More Years Edition)“Let me tell you, that was the worst Taco Tuesday of my whole life.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump returning to the White House is a huge historic comeback for someone who literally never went away.” — JIMMY FALLONWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Recaps Harris’s Time on Fox News and Trump’s on Univision

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      “Yes, both Kamala and Trump went into ‘the lion’s den’ this week — although they only got Trump there by telling him it was the name of a strip club,” Desi Lydic said on “The Daily Show.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Lions, Foxes and BaiersVice President Kamala Harris appeared on Fox News on Wednesday, where she was interrupted several times during an interview with Bret Baier, the network’s chief political anchor. On the same day, former President Donald Trump held a Univision town hall, where, as Desi Lydic joked on Thursday’s “Daily Show,” he “faced down his biggest fear: Hispanic people.”“Yes, both Kamala and Trump went into ‘the lion’s den’ this week — although they only got Trump there by telling him it was the name of a strip club.” — DESI LYDIC“I’d like to point out that there is no difference between his nervous swaying to Spanish and his dancing to ‘Ave Maria.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Now Kamala’s ‘lion’s den’ was Fox News, so I guess it was a Fox den, where she sat down with Bret Baier — so maybe it was a Baier’s den.” — DESI LYDIC“I want to be clear about this: I believe that journalists should always ask the toughest questions of presidential candidates, and Bret Baier certainly plays a convincing journalist on Fox News.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Come on, Bret, you invited her on to speak with you. This is an interview with the vice president, not sex with your wife — you have to let the woman finish.” — DESI LYDICThe Punchiest Punchlines (Winning? Edition)We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Desi Lydic Wants to Be in Central Park, Listening to Chappell Roan

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      “I love getting out and about early in the day, getting some fresh air and sunlight and seeing the city,” the “Daily Show” host said of her morning ritual.In one of her auditions for “The Daily Show,” the comedian and actress Desi Lydic did an impression that, as she put it, “was kind of going for that ex-lawyer, four-time beauty pageant winner and overqualified but leggy Fox News blowhard.”It worked, and in 2015, Lydic joined the satirical Comedy Central news show as a correspondent.Then, in 2023, Trevor Noah left as host and Jon Stewart returned to the role he’d originated, but for only one night a week. That left three remaining slots at the desk. Lydic’s hand shot up before she had even really thought about it.“Having him back at the show is pretty awesome for the rest of us for a million reasons,” she said of Stewart. “One of them being that it’s a master class in real life every single week to watch him throughout the day and to learn by just kind of absorbing.”Although she initially thought hosting would overwhelm her with anxiety, Lydic said, “it’s more excitement than sheer panic.” The show won the Emmy for best variety talk series earlier this month.In a video call from her parents’ home in Louisville, Ky., Lydic — who lives in Manhattan with her husband and 8-year-old son — talked about clouds in her coffee, finding the funny on “Friends” and the thing she looks at every time she goes onstage.These are edited excerpts from the conversation.1‘Bird By Bird’ by Anne LamottIt talks about the struggle of being a writer, and she’s so brutally honest about how torturous it can be: “Almost all good writing begins with terrible first efforts. You need to start somewhere.” It’s the absolute best guide for not only creative endeavors, but for life. It also acts as a solid parenting manual.We are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Late Night Roasts New York Mayor Eric Adams Over His Indictment

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      Jimmy Fallon joked that it’s “always fun when the city mimics the exact plot of a Batman movie.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.You Never Forget Your FirstNew York City Mayor Eric Adams has been indicted on five federal charges of bribery, fraud and soliciting illegal foreign campaign donations.“Yeah, it’s always fun when the city mimics the exact plot of a Batman movie,” Jimmy Fallon said on Thursday.“Yep, Adams is the first sitting mayor of New York City to be indicted. It’s shocking. When Rudy Giuliani heard that, he was, like, ‘That can’t be right.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Well, it turns out Eric Adams was right — crime is way up in New York City.” — SETH MEYERS“Imagine having to call Rudy to ask, ‘You never got indicted as mayor — what’s your secret?’” — SETH MEYERS“I’ll bet he’s really regretting holding that press conference with a trash can full of shredded evidence.” — SETH MEYERS“Can someone check if there’s bottle service at Rikers?” — DESI LYDICThe Punchiest Punchlines (More Eric Adams Edition)“New York Mayor Eric Adams was indicted yesterday on federal criminal charges, and that distant laughter you hear is coming from every rat in New York City: ‘[imitating rat] You thought you was gonna take us out? Now what, wise guy?’” — SETH MEYERS“Fellow Democrats are calling on him to resign, whereas Republicans are urging him to run for governor of North Carolina.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“That’s right, Eric Adams was indicted yesterday on federal criminal charges. Oh, please let his little robot cop do the arrest. It’ll be like when Allison Williams realized she shouldn’t have built M3gan.” — SETH MEYERS“Now, to be fair, Adams is, of course, innocent until proven guilty — although it would be a lot easier to believe he wasn’t doing crimes if he didn’t dress like a gangster from ‘Guys & Dolls.’” — DESI LYDIC“It’s a sad day in New York City when foreign nations are bribing the mayor to rush permits. That is the mob’s job, OK? Those should be American bribes!” — DESI LYDICThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert harmonized with the country singer Chris Stapleton on Thursday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This Out“We really did consider each other brother and sister, even though I might have had a small crush on her as well, which was weird,” John Francis Daley said of his relationship with Linda Cardellini.Chris Haston/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal, via Getty ImagesPaul Feig, Judd Apatow, and several cast and crew members reflect on the sleeper hit status of “Freaks and Geeks” as the show celebrates its 25th anniversary. More

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      Desi Lydic Ridicules Trump for Demanding Harris’s ‘Burger Certificate’

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      “This isn’t the kind of thing you would lie about,” Lydic said. “It’s not like sex with a porn star while your wife is pregnant.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Salty BehaviorAt a rally this week, former President Donald Trump continued to question Vice President Kamala Harris’s experience of working at a McDonald’s in her youth.Desi Lydic called it “ridiculous that Trump is asking to see Kamala’s burger certificate.”“This isn’t the kind of thing you would lie about. It’s not like sex with a porn star while your wife is pregnant.” — DESI LYDIC“But look, I get why he’s suspicious — if she had ever worked at any McDonald’s between the years 1960 and last week, he probably would have seen her. Or maybe this whole thing is just a ploy for him to get free food: ‘You worked at McDonald’s? Prove it. Make me seven Big Macs!’” — DESI LYDIC“So, Trump’s new conspiracy theory is that Kamala Harris never worked at McDonald’s when she was young, which to him is basically stolen valor: ‘How dare you disrespect our men and women in uniform. Those people served with honor and with extra ketchup packets if you ask.’” — DESI LYDIC“At the same rally, Trump also claimed that Vice President Kamala Harris lied about working at a McDonald’s and said that he would go to the restaurant chain in the next two weeks to see, ‘what her job really wasn’t like.’ And even — even if she can provide proof that she worked there — he’s still probably going to go to McDonald’s in the next two weeks.” — SETH MEYERS“Did Trump just talk himself into getting hungry? ‘She never worked over the piping hot fries, so crispy and salty, each bite a perfect — we should go to McDonald’s. Let’s go to McDonald’s.’” — DESI LYDICThe Punchiest Punchlines (Golden Guys Edition)“Tonight was the second episode of ‘The Golden Bachelorette.’ It was pretty slow. The first hour was just the remaining guys in the house watching the new ‘Matlock’ reboot.” — JIMMY FALLON“Tonight, the golden guys had to decide who’d sleep on the top bunk, which was not as easy as it sounds. Some of them snore, some of them have bad knees, one of them sleeps naked, and they all wake up a lot of times to go pee. So there a lot of logistics going into putting five guys in one bedroom. They’re lined up outside the men’s room like it’s a Lakers game at 4 a.m.” — JIMMY KIMMELWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More