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      Late Night Takes Stock of Donald Trump’s Tanking Media Company

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      Jimmy Fallon joked that “Truth Social stock tanked so fast, they’re changing the name to Twitter.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Trump’s Stock SinksShares of Trump Media & Technology Group, the owner of Truth Social, tanked on Monday. That cut the value of Donald Trump’s majority share to about $3.7 billion, down from its peak of $6 billion last week.“Yeah, Truth Social stock tanked so fast, they’re changing the name to Twitter,” Jimmy Fallon joked.“When he heard another one of his businesses was tanking, Trump was, like, ‘[imitating Trump] They blow up so fast.’” — JIMMY FALLON“As a result of the stock tanking, Trump’s net worth dropped $2 billion. Trump’s so panicked, he’s now selling copies of the Torah.” — JIMMY FALLON“How could that be? They have such a solid business model: Old rapist yells at Easter.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“What a shock that the stock price of a company with no profits or success of any kind is falling. The way things are going, Trump is going to have to start selling a deluxe Bible with a dictionary attached.” — SETH MEYERS“He posted 70 times on Easter — what’s in the baskets at the Trump family Easter egg hunt, Cadbury meth eggs?” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Easter Egg Roll Edition)“The White House hosted the 144th annual Easter egg roll today, and about 40,000 people were expected to participate. Forty thousand! But, then again, where else can you get free eggs?” — SETH MEYERS“Forty thousand, or as the hands that laid those eggs put it, ‘An entire generation lost, and for what?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s the one day of the year where Joe Biden says, ‘You kids get on my lawn!’ And he did.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Biden came out and said, ‘Look, I know I’m mentally stable, but everyone else can see this six-foot bunny next to me, right?’” — JIMMY FALLON“Then the president handed out baskets filled with his two favorite Easter treats, rhubarb and Polident, and a good time was had by all.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Donald Trump also had a beautiful Easter message. April fools!” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJon Stewart explored the promise of A.I. on Monday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightJames Cordon will return to late night, this time as a guest, on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This Out“She wanted more from life, and, ultimately, life lost interest in her,” the director Rachel Chavkin said of the painter Tamara de Lempicka, whose artistic reputation remains mixed.Bettmann via, Getty ImagesA new biographical musical about the unsung artist Tamara de Lempicka opens on April 14. More

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      Seth Meyers Is Skeptical of Trump’s Rising Stock

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      “I’m willing to bet most of the people investing in this company have never even used Truth Social,” Meyers said of Trump’s social media outlet on Thursday.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.What Is the Truth?Trump Media’s stock price surged after going public this week, boosting former President Donald Trump’s bottom line, at least on paper.“I’m willing to bet most of the people investing in this company have never even used Truth Social,” Seth Meyers said on Thursday.“You might be asking yourself, ‘Donald Trump has a media and technology company?’ And the answer is no, he doesn’t. What he has is a dumb Twitter rip-off for MAGA trolls called Truth Social, where he posts insane, typo-riddled, all-caps screeds.” — SETH MEYERS“The only way this business could be any more of a failure is if every time you opened an account, you got a free Zune, a bottle of Crystal Pepsi, a Blockbuster card, a Motorola flip phone that came preloaded with a MySpace account and a round trip next to the door on Alaska Airlines.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Angry New York Drivers Edition)“Guys, New York just became the first U.S. city to approve congestion pricing, which means cars that drive into Midtown Manhattan will have to pay an extra $15. A $15 toll. And that’s not all; the city announced some other new tolls, too. You’ll have to pay $15 if you make eye contact with someone on the subway for more than three seconds.” — JIMMY FALLON“Now, personally, I can see the upsides to congestion pricing. It’s better for the environment, it reduces traffic, there’s fewer cars on the road, so there’s more space for you to get hit by delivery bikes.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“But, understandably, people are upset, and the last thing I want is angry drivers in New York. I mean, can you imagine?” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Bits Worth WatchingThe actress Zoe Saldaña spoke about starring in her husband’s directorial debut, “The Absence of Eden,” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutJulianne Moore as Mary Villiers and Nicholas Galitzine as George, her son, in “Mary and George.”StarzIn the new Starz drama “Mary and George,” Julianne Moore plays a mother whose son catches the eye of King James I of England. More

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      Stephen Colbert Recaps the Ronna McDaniel Drama at NBC

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      “In case you’re unfamiliar with McDaniel, she is terrible,” Stephen Colbert said of the former Republican National Committee chairwoman.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Representation Matters!’The former Republican National Committee chairwoman Ronna McDaniel was fired by NBC just five days after being hired as an on-air contributor.“In case you’re unfamiliar with McDaniel, she is terrible,” Stephen Colbert said, recalling McDaniel’s involvement with former President Donald Trump and his denial of the 2020 election results.“Happy Women’s History Month, gals! It’s 2024 — you, too, can be morally bankrupt dictator-enabling douche-nuggets. Representation matters!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“[imitating McDaniel] Before, I was carrying water for a fascist wannabe dictator — now I’m getting bangs!” — STEPHEN COLBERT“But, yes, Ronna McDaniel lasted just five days at NBC, which is less screen time than dead bodies on ‘Law & Order’ get” — JORDAN KLEPPER, guest host of “The Daily Show”The Punchiest Punchlines (Disciples Are Standing By Edition)“Trump is still allowed to defend himself. He’s also still allowed to hawk [expletive] products in a desperate bid for money, arguably the most American thing you can do.” — SETH MEYERS“Yes, Donald Trump is now hawking a Bible. It’s just like any other good book, except in the middle of this one, there’s a centerfold.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“It’s like if Mike Pence was selling copies of ‘50 Shades of Grey.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Yep, the guy who’s about to go on trial for paying hush money to cover up an affair with a porn star is selling Bibles. And because it’s a Trump Bible, most of the Ten Commandments are blacked out.” — SETH MEYERS“Now this has come as no surprise to anyone — making a profit is Trump’s religion. As his Jesus famously said, ‘It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay me four easy installments of $19.95. Act now; disciples are standing by.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“He has to have spare Bibles because every time he holds one, it bursts into flames.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJerry Seinfeld and Jimmy Fallon asked each other random questions on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightThe singer-songwriter Sheryl Crow will appear on Thursday’s “Late Night with Seth Meyers.”Also, Check This OutClassics abound in the horror novelist Stephen King’s literary catalog.Philip Montgomery for The New York TimesWant to read Stephen King but not sure where to start? Here’s a guide to the horror master’s most essential works. More

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      Jordan Klepper Teases Trump for Shilling Bibles

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      “How does that thing not burst into flames immediately?” Klepper joked of Donald Trump’s “latest very classy business venture” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.’Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Trump’s Latest Mash-UpOn Tuesday, former President Donald Trump released a video on Truth Social, plugging his “God Bless the USA Bible” for $60.“The Daily Show” guest host Jordan Klepper called the move Trump’s “latest very classy business venture.”“How does that thing not burst into flames immediately?” — JORDAN KLEPPER“Yes, Trump is mashing together the Bible and the Constitution like it’s a Pizza Hut-Taco Bell.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“I know people will say that you’re not supposed to mix the Bible and the Constitution, but what you have to understand is Trump has never read either of them.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“If we step back and look at this, Trump getting into business with God can only mean one thing: God is going to end up bankrupt and serving a three-month prison sentence for lying under oath.” — JORDAN KLEPPER“I mean, what’s amazing about this is that Trump just made $5 billion on his new stock. Buddy, you’re not supposed to be doing this embarrassing grifter [expletive] when you’re that rich. Just start a private space company like a normal billionaire sociopath.” — JORDAN KLEPPERThe Punchiest Punchlines (Corinthian Leather Edition)“I like how they made the Bible the exact color of his skin. Yeah, that’s interesting. Corinthian — Corinthian leather.” — JIMMY FALLON“[imitating Trump] It’s my favorite book right after ‘Captain Underpants’ and the Cheesecake Factory menu.” — JIMMY FALLON“Trump is just like Christ. The Pharisees despised Jesus because Jesus had all of that prime Dead Sea-front property. Jesus was a brilliant capitalist. He’s buying lepers at rock-bottom prices, healing them, then flipping them for big denarii. We all know how he got an initial round of funding: selling golden sandals.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingKristen Stewart gave Seth Meyers a lesbian makeover while day drinking on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightJerry Seinfeld will sit down with Jimmy Fallon on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutJenny Slate in her new special, “Seasoned Professional.”Amazon Prime VideoSix comedy specials from seasoned comics — Tig Notaro, Jenny Slate, Dan Soder, Cara Connors, David Cross and Dave Attell — are now available on streaming. More

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      Late Night Doesn’t Think Trump’s Good News Is All That Good

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      “It’s the first time someone’s ever heard, ‘Good news, you only owe $175 million,’” Jimmy Fallon said after the ex-president’s bond was reduced.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The $175 Million LifelineOn Monday, a New York appeals court reduced Donald Trump’s bond in his civil fraud case — originally set at $454 million — to a mere $175 million. He has 10 days to come up with it.“It’s the first time someone’s ever heard, ‘Good news, you only owe $175 million,’” Jimmy Fallon said.“After his lawyers argued last week that he did not have the money for the $454 million bond in his civil fraud case, former President Trump posted in all caps on Truth Social, ‘I currently have almost $500 million in cash.’ Dude, they’re trying to help you. That’s like if O.J. tweeted, ‘The glove fits great.’” — SETH MEYERS“He’s not a real rich guy; he just plays one on TV. Donald Trump has a billion dollars the same way Patrick Stewart has a spaceship.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Having 10 days to come up with $175 million doesn’t sound like good news; it sounds like the plot to a Jason Statham movie.” — JIMMY FALLON“In addition to cutting the bond by more than half and giving him an extension, the appeals court paused restrictions on Trump running any New York company or obtaining a loan from a New York bank, as well as the restrictions on his adult sons, which means now Don Jr. and Eric can still open their hot dog and cocaine cart.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Golf Edition)“Now, with all this going on, yesterday Donald Trump kept laser-focused on what’s most important to this struggling nation: golf.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yesterday, he posted online about winning his own golf tournament. After winning, he was honored to receive a congratulatory phone call from himself.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, woke libs! You think Donald Trump’s a loser? Well, would a loser brag about winning a golf tournament at his own course? I don’t think so!” — JON STEWART“Although, obviously, Trump has an advantage playing golf: It’s difficult for his opponents to stay focused when they spend all that time staring at that ass.” — JON STEWART“He truthed, ‘It is my great honor to be at Trump International Golf Club in West Palm Beach tonight, Awards Night, to receive the club championship trophy and the senior club championship trophy. I won both!’ Wow, he won both. You know what that means: Somebody else won both.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingThe blues and rock musician Gary Clark Jr. performed his song “Habits” on Monday’s “Daily Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe comedy legend Carol Burnett will appear on Tuesday’s “Late Show.”Also, Check This OutThe author Judith Butler ponders how gender became a scary topic in her latest book.Thirty-four years and 15 books after “Gender Trouble,” the theorist Judith Butler returns to familiar terrain with “Who’s Afraid of Gender?” More

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      Late Night Tackles the U.S. House Bill That Could Ban TikTok

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      “This is like iPhone ‘Footloose,’ and there’s no Kevin Bacon to save us,” Jimmy Kimmel joked.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Final CountdownOn Wednesday, the House passed a bill to ban TikTok in the United States unless the app’s parent company sells it to a non-Chinese owner in the next six months.“So now, the bill goes to the Senate, which means the fate of every tweenaged TikToker is in the hands of a bunch of old white people with Hotmail accounts,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“This is a big deal. This is like iPhone ‘Footloose,’ and there’s no Kevin Bacon to save us.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“But, yes, obviously, there is a problem with a Chinese app spying on Americans and feeding us propaganda. You want American apps doing that.” — MICHAEL KOSTA“Well, if you guys are worried about the Chinese gathering data on Americans, wait till you find out who makes the phones.” — SETH MEYERS“Only 50 Democrats and 15 Republicans voted ‘no.’ Three-hundred fifty-two voted ‘yes,’ which almost never happens anymore. Who would have guessed that this would be the thing that brings both sides together?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I mean, Republicans voted against their own border bill because they were afraid it would make Joe Biden look good. They can’t even get it together to stand up to Vladimir Putin. But, by God, they will stand up to Charli D’Amelio and then some.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Just to give you an idea of the pull this app has, they did a poll, and half the people who use TikTok said they do believe it poses a threat to national security but they still use it and keep it on their phones. I guess at this point, what the hell, right? I mean, half the country supports a national security threat for president, might as well dance.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Well, apparently, both Democrats and Republicans are worried that China will steal the secrets of the tortilla slap.” — JIMMY FALLON“I don’t think we fully understand how crazy these kids are going to go if they kill TikTok. I mean, for teenagers today, losing TikTok is a bigger deal than losing your virginity. I’m not kidding, either. This is like taking away all of their imaginary friends at once.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Can you imagine if TikTok was banned? I mean, just picture lying down in bed and then actually going to bed, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Losing Teams Edition)“Apparently, R.F.K. Jr. is seriously considering Aaron Rodgers and Jesse Ventura as potential picks for vice president. Yep, Kennedy confirmed that Rodgers and Ventura are at the top of his list, which really makes you wonder who’s at the bottom.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yesterday, we learned that he is reportedly considering Aaron Rodgers for veep. Now that is a risky move to pick Rodgers, because if we’ve learned one thing, it’s that the minute he starts running, he’s going to snap his Achilles’.” — STEPHEN COLBERTWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Stephen Colbert Slams Former Special Counsel’s Conclusions

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      Colbert objected to Robert K. Hur calling President Biden a “well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory” in a report on the handling of classified documents.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Thanks for the MemoriesOn Tuesday, the former special counsel Robert K. Hur testified before the House Judiciary Committee, answering questions about his investigation into President Biden’s handling of classified documents. In his report, Hur referred to Biden as a “well-meaning, elderly man with a poor memory.”“Yes, Biden has been dangerously forgetful, unlike Trump, who always remembers that he’s running against Obama, and unopposed, at that, since Nancy Pelosi dropped out,” Stephen Colbert said on his show Tuesday night.“Democrats were, like, ‘Well, that five days of momentum from the State of the Union was fun while it lasted.’” — JIMMY FALLON“That kind of assessment is sort of outside the normal job description of a special counsel. It’d be like your doctor saying, ‘Well, we ran some tests, Mr. Johnson, and your cholesterol looks very good, but I am worried about how ugly you are. I’m going to write you a prescription for bag over your head. Unlimited refills.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Hur refused to engage in hypotheticals, but today, he did release the full transcript of his interviews with the president, and, what do you know? It’s not as ‘old-man-forgets-a-lot’ as his summary made it out to be. At one point, Hur even complimented Biden’s memory, specifically saying: ‘You appear to have a photographic understanding and recall.’ So the exact opposite of his report summary. At this point, I’m worried about Hur’s cognitive ability. Did anyone ask him to identify a whale?’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bye-Bye, TikTok Edition)“Angry TikTok users are reportedly calling congressional offices ahead of the week’s vote on a bipartisan bill that would ban the platform. Well, it’s more mature than what angry Facebook users did.” — SETH MEYERS, referring to Jan. 6“Banning one of the most popular social media apps in the entire world would set a huge precedent and have a massive impact on American life. Without TikTok, where else would I learn about actual trends like cooking chicken in NyQuil or future trends like calling the ambulance after someone cooks chicken in NyQuil?” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The bill is a response to fears that TikTok’s owner company, ByteDance, could share user data, such as browsing history, location and biometric identifiers, with China’s authoritarian government. Oh, God. China could spy on us or brainwash our youth with propaganda, or, worst of all, put us on a mailing list.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingWe are having trouble retrieving the article content.Please enable JavaScript in your browser settings.Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times.Thank you for your patience while we verify access.Already a subscriber? Log in.Want all of The Times? Subscribe. More

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      Jimmy Kimmel Explains His Run-In (Sort of) With Trump at the Oscars

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      Why did Donald Trump go online during the Oscars to criticize Kimmel’s performance as host? Kimmel thinks he was upset because no one had mentioned his name. Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.OscarworthyFresh from hosting the Oscars on Sunday, Jimmy Kimmel detailed on Monday night how he’d come to poke fun in real time at one viewer: Donald Trump, who posted criticism of Kimmel’s performance during the broadcast. (“Isn’t it past your jail time?” Kimmel asked the ex-president from the stage.) “We were backstage, the show was almost over, and one of our writers was like, ‘Hey, look at this,’ and I was like, well, to quote Al Pacino, ‘Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in,’ and I had to read it,” Kimmel said.“Donald Trump — you remember that guy? He used to be, yeah — wrote ‘Has there ever been a worse host than Jimmy Kimmel at the Oscars? His opening was that of a less-than-average person trying too hard to be something which he is not and never can be.’ This was also his wedding toast to his son Eric, by the way.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“So after the show, almost everyone I ran into was asking me, ‘Was that real? Did Donald Trump really?’ It’s like yeah, of course, it was real. And it kind of tells you all you need know about Donald Trump.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He wrote this because he was upset I didn’t mention him on the show, and no one mentioned him on the show. He wasn’t getting any attention. He couldn’t stand it. And so then the Adderall McFlurry kicked in, and he went right on.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Funny — we had John Cena onstage naked, and somehow Trump still managed to be the biggest [expletive] of the night.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Pushing the Envelope Edition)“‘Oppenheimer’ was the big winner, taking home seven awards, including Best Picture, while the award for Most Paused Picture went to John Cena.” — JIMMY FALLON“I mean, God bless, John. I could never do something like that. If I did, I’d win the Oscar for Best Short.” — JIMMY FALLON“Good thing he held onto that card, ’cause we might have seen his Maestro, if you know what I’m saying? His Poor Thing, if you catch my drift.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“They kept demanding that we make the envelope bigger and bigger, which, well, first, I have to say congratulations to John Cena, the commotion you caused. Very rarely does an idea literally push the envelope, and this one did.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingKristen Stewart defended her racy Rolling Stone cover while on Monday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe journalist Jane Marie will discuss her new book “Selling the Dream: The Billion-Dollar Industry Bankrupting Americans” on Tuesday’s “Daily Show.”Also, Check This Out“I still like looking at the world around me with softness and an open heart,” Adrianne Lenker said.Erinn Springer for The New York TimesThe singer-songwriter Adrianne Lenker of Big Thief fame projects resilience on her fifth solo album, Bright Future. More