More stories

  • in

    Late Night Cheers Donald Trump’s Rejected Absolute Immunity Claim

    “It was a devastating moment for Trump, especially when Melania started clapping,” Jimmy Kimmel said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Immunity DeniedOn Tuesday, a federal appeals court rejected former President Donald Trump’s claims that executive immunity protected him from criminal charges related to subverting the 2020 election.“I mean, kind of a bummer because poor guy drank all that bleach for nothing,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“OK, so he doesn’t have immunity, but after all these trials, he must have built up some antibodies.” — SETH MEYERS“The three-judge panel shot down his arguments in a strongly worded 57-page ruling. It was a devastating moment for Trump, especially when Melania started clapping.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump’s campaign said that he respectfully disagrees with the ruling. Although, if Trump knew to respectfully disagree with a loss, he wouldn’t be on trial in the first place.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Speaking to the Manager Edition)“And now Trump plans on going to the Supreme Court. And if he loses there, he plans on going to Brazil.” — JIMMY FALLON“Of course, he will now appeal to the Supreme Court, which is the legal equivalent of, ‘Well, then, I want to speak to your manager.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The Supreme Court hasn’t announced if they’ll hear the case, but Clarence Thomas announced that he’d like an Apple Vision Pro and Super Bowl tickets if they do.” — JIMMY FALLON“According to a new poll from CNN, a majority of Americans want to see a verdict in the Jan. 6 case before they vote in the election. It’s vitally important that we find out whether the former president did what we all saw him do on television or not.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingThe journalist and “Late Show” guest Joy Reid told Stephen Colbert what she learned about courage while researching her new book, “Medgar and Myrlie.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightSheryl Lee Ralph will discuss the new season of “Abbott Elementary” with Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutTracy Chapman making a rare public appearance to perform her 1988 song “Fast Car” with the country singer Luke Combs at the Grammy Awards on Sunday night.Amy Sussman/Getty ImagesTracy Chapman’s return to the Grammy stage on Sunday has fans wondering where she’s been and when they’ll hear more from her. More

  • in

    Jimmy Fallon Reports ‘Today’s Taylor Swift News’

    “If you thought she was on your TV a lot last night, well, wait till next Sunday,” Fallon said after the pop star’s big night at the Grammys.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘Today’s Taylor Swift News’Taylor Swift made Grammy history on Sunday night, winning Album of the Year for a fourth time.“Let’s get to today’s Taylor Swift news,” Jimmy Fallon said at the top of Monday’s monologue, before quipping that everyone else at the Grammys “got an Emmy nomination for acting surprised when she won.”“Yep, Taylor dominated the Grammys. If you thought she was on your TV a lot last night, well, wait till next Sunday.” — JIMMY FALLON, referring to the upcoming Super Bowl“Last night at the Grammys, the big winner was Taylor Swift, who became the first artist to win Album of the Year four times — all for the same album.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Not only did Taylor make Grammys history, she also announced that on April 19, she’s releasing a new album called ‘The Tortured Poets Department.’ Then every other artist releasing an album on April 19 was like, ‘Well, looking more like a June release now.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Rainy Day Edition)“We are getting hit by a biblical amount of rain here in Los Angeles. All around town, they’ve been gathering Kardashians two by two.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“You know, they closed our kids’ school today because of rain. And this is, I just want to mention, not an outdoor school. There is a roof on the school, but they said it’s too dangerous to come to school, somebody could get wet.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“When I was a kid in Brooklyn, for them to cancel school, there had to be, like, at least six inches of snow, there had to be black ice on the road, and, like, Son of Sam had to be on the loose.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Now, meteorologists say the drastic weather is being caused by something called an atmospheric river, which is also the name of my easy-listening dad band.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Here’s how you know we have a lot of rain: when the L.A. River is actually a river. Usually it’s just a big, empty skateboard park.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“These bizarre weather emergencies are just going to keep happening. We all know the cause. Al Gore warned us about this, and it’s getting worse every year, so I’ll just say it: The witch’s curse!” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Kimmel had some thoughts after Donald Trump asked Truth Social users if they thought he looked like Elvis.What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe “Feud: Capote vs. the Swans” star Molly Ringwald will talk to Seth Meyers on Tuesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThe “Curb Your Enthusiasm” star Larry David.HBOFaithful viewers can test their fandom in this pretty, pretty good “Curb Your Enthusiasm” quiz. More

  • in

    Stephen Colbert: ‘Ladies Love Cool Joe’

    A new poll has President Biden leading former President Trump, thanks to 58 percent of women surveyed supporting Biden.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Hey, Ladies!One new poll shows President Biden leading former President Donald Trump 50 percent to 44 percent.“I don’t know just how Joe did it, but political analysts think it may be his strategy of standing still while his opponent repeatedly quotes Hitler,” Stephen Colbert said on Thursday.But it was women who pushed Biden into the lead, with 58 percent of them supporting the current president, and 36 percent backing Trump.“[imitating Biden] That’s right, the ladies love Cool Joe. They love my store-bought smile. They love the shades. They love that thing where I’m the last one standing between them and the Supreme Court putting a GoPro in their uterus.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump can’t understand why he’s losing the female vote. He was like, ‘No one has paid off more women than me.’” — JIMMY FALLON“And to boost his numbers even higher with women, Biden just got Travis Kelce’s haircut.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Caught Red-Handed Edition)“When asked yesterday about the recent pictures showing red marks on his hands, Former President Trump said that he had not seen the photographs and added, ‘Maybe it’s A.I.’ OK, who taught him that? Because now that’s going to be his answer for everything.” — SETH MEYERS“In this case, A.I. stands for ‘an infection.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Even when he is literally caught red-handed, he won’t want to admit it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingAriana DeBose and Boy George performed “Electric Energy” on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutSusie Essman’s expletive-hurling character on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” became a fan — and cast — favorite over the show’s nearly 25 years.John Johnson/HBOSusie Essman has been stealing scenes on “Curb Your Enthusiasm” for the last 20 years. More

  • in

    Jimmy Kimmel Breaks Down MAGA’s Super Bowl Conspiracy Theories

    Is the N.F.L. rigged? Is Taylor Swift a psy-op? Kimmel says that “this nonsense is now everywhere your angry grandpa goes.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Chief ConcernsSupporters of former President Donald Trump are spreading conspiracy theories about the Super Bowl, Travis Kelce of the Kansas City Chiefs and his girlfriend, Taylor Swift.“Even this clown who ran for president, Vivek Ramaswamy, added his nut voice to the chorus of cuckoos,” Kimmel said on Tuesday. He pointed to the former G.O.P. candidate’s suggestion that Kelce and Swift were “an artificially culturally propped-up couple” and that the Super Bowl would be rigged, all to get President Biden re-elected.“And it’s not just on Twitter — this nonsense is now everywhere your angry grandpa goes,” Kimmel said, calling the conspiracy theorists “not-too-Swifties.”“The same people who believe Joe Biden has dementia and needs Kamala Harris to feed him butterscotch tapioca every night also believe that he has somehow planned and executed a diabolically brilliant scheme to fix the N.F.L. playoffs so the biggest pop star in the world can pop up on the Jumbotron during the Super Bowl in between a Kia and a Tostitos commercial to hypnotize her 11-year-old fans into voting for Joe Biden. I mean, it makes sense. It makes total sense. These people — these people think football is fake and wrestling is real.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The average price for a ticket to see the Chiefs play the Niners is a little over $12,000 right now. But here’s the thing, it’s not just a football game; it’s also a live game of ‘Where’s Waldo?’ starring Taylor Swift, if you can spot her.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Ten grand’s a lot for a football game, but it’s dirt cheap to see Taylor Swift live, I will say that.” — JIMMY FALLON“Nothing like being down ten grand before stepping foot in Vegas, you know what I’m saying?” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (Where Credit Is Due Edition)“I saw that Trump just took credit for the record-high stock market under Biden. Trump was like, ‘If I had not not lost the election, this never would have happened.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Even crazier, Trump said, ‘Eric and Don Jr.? That’s all Biden’s fault.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Chaos in the Middle East? Biden’s fault. Booming economy? All Donald Trump, three years after he left office! It’s incredible. You know, I’m starting to feel like he might be making some of this stuff up.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingOn Tuesday’s “Late Show,” Emma Stone explained why she wants to compete on the noncelebrity version of “Jeopardy.” What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightLola Tung, star of “The Summer I Turned Pretty,” will sit down with Seth Meyers on Wednesday night ahead of her Broadway debut in “Hadestown.”Also, Check This OutKlaus Biesenbach, director of the Neue Nationalgalerie, and the artist Kandis Williams, a co-curator, at the opening of the exhibition.Andreas Meichsner for The New York TimesAn exhibition in Berlin, “Josephine Baker: Icon in Motion,” highlights the groundbreaking entertainer’s life, career and influence. More

  • in

    Stephen Colbert Is Hoping for a Taylor Swift Super Bowl

    With the Kansas City Chiefs in the game, Colbert can’t wait to see “the biggest star in the N.F.L.” (if she can get there from Japan in time).Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘The Taylor Swift Super Bowl’On Sunday, Travis Kelce and the other Kansas City Chiefs beat the Baltimore Ravens, securing a spot in what Stephen Colbert now calls “the Taylor Swift Super Bowl.”On Monday night, Colbert declared that Swift, who is dating Kelce and brought extra attention to the league all season, is “the biggest star in the N.F.L.” “The whole thing has been great for the N.F.L. and for dads who struggle to bond with their teenage daughters.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yeah, you’ve got the Super Bowl, and you have Taylor Swift. Ratings are going to be higher than Snoop Dogg at a Willie Nelson concert.” — JIMMY FALLON“But there are so many big questions about the Super Bowl. Can the 49ers contain Patrick Mahomes? Can the Chiefs stop Christian McCaffrey? And the one that most people care about: Can Taylor Swift make it there? ’Cause she has a concert in Japan the day before!” — JIMMY FALLON“It’s just too stressful. Why can’t she just do a concert somewhere closer, like Paris or Venice or New York? They’re all there in Vegas.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Of course, I hope Taylor makes it, because I really want to watch the Apple Music Super Bowl LVIII Halftime Show starring Shaky Footage of Taylor Swift Cheering in a Skybox, featuring Usher.” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines ($83 Million Edition)“A jury in former President Trump’s defamation trial has ordered him to pay $83 million in damages. Yeah, in a related story, a bunch of classified documents just turned up on eBay.” — JIMMY FALLON“A Manhattan jury on Friday ordered former President Trump to pay nearly $84 million in his civil defamation case. Well, that explains the new fund-raising amounts.” — SETH MEYERS“Well, congratulations on the payday, Eric!” — STEPHEN COLBERT, on E. Jean Carroll saying she wants to give the money Trump owes her to something he hates“Former President Trump said at a rally in Las Vegas over the weekend that he feels ‘sharper now than I did 20 years ago.’ Of course, based on all of his testimony, he doesn’t remember a single thing from 20 years ago.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingThe “Tonight Show” guest James Corden shared what life is like after leaving “The Late Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightElisabeth Moss, star of “The Veil,” will appear on Tuesday’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live.”Also, Check This OutJoni Mitchell onstage at the Gorge Amphitheater in George, Wash., in June 2023. On Sunday, she will perform at the Grammys.Justin J Wee for The New York TimesJoni Mitchell will make her Grammys debut during this Sunday’s broadcast. More

  • in

    Late Night Mocks Trump’s Three-Minute Testimony

    “We’re smack-dab in the heart of primary season, and Donald Trump is out there trying to win over the voters that matter most: his juries,” Stephen Colbert said.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘No’ Means ‘No’Former President Donald Trump has been spending primary season balancing campaign events with court appearances.Stephen Colbert joked on Thursday that “Donald Trump is out there trying to win over the voters that matter most: his juries.”Trump testified as part of a defamation trial against him earlier in the day, where he defied the judge’s orders to answer questions with a “yes” or “no.”“Which is fitting, because the whole trial is the result of Trump disregarding everything after ‘no.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“A jury is there to determine how much he will have to pay, and we know he doesn’t like to pay, so he showed up to speak on his own behalf. And everything went smoothly until the judge asked him to tell the truth, the whole truth, and everybody busted out laughing.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He only lasted about three minutes. Then Stormy Daniels was, like, ‘Wow, a minute longer than I expected.’” — JIMMY FALLONThe Punchiest Punchlines (MAGA Camp Edition)“Well, guys, as mentioned, Nikki Haley is refusing to drop out of the race, and Trump is still furious about it. Yep, Haley’s worried if she quits she’ll be humiliated or, worse, Trump’s V.P.” — JIMMY FALLON“In a post on Truth Social, former President Trump said that anyone who donates to Nikki Haley’s campaign will be permanently barred from the MAGA camp ‘from this moment forth.’ What? ‘From this moment forth?’ What’s going on? You know Trump is stressed when he starts talking like a dungeon master. ‘[imitating Trump] From this moment forth, all my enemies shall bow before me!” — SETH MEYERS“Wow, what does ‘barred from the MAGA camp’ even mean? Like, what, you’re not invited to the next insurrection?” — JIMMY KIMMEL“If you’re wondering what MAGA camp is, it’s like Boy Scout camp, except the badges are for things like tax evasion, election fraud, lying about your golf score.” — SETH MEYERS“At this point, Haley knows she can’t win, but she’s having way too much fun watching Trump lose his mind.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingJustin Timberlake joined Jimmy Fallon and The Roots for a medley of his best-known songs set to classroom instruments.Also, Check This OutSutton Foster as Princess Winnifred in a production of “Once Upon a Mattress” at New York City Center.Sara Krulwich/The New York TimesSutton Foster stars as a sleepless princess in a new production of the 1959 musical “Once Upon a Mattress.” More

  • in

    Late Night on the New Hampshire Primary

    Jimmy Kimmel joked that Donald Trump beat Nikki Haley by 11 points and that he’s “also leading Haley by double digits in felony charges, 91 to zero.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.‘No Applause?’Former President Donald Trump won the New Hampshire Republican primary on Tuesday, taking 54.3 percent of the vote to Nikki Haley’s 43.3 percent.Jimmy Kimmel kicked off Wednesday night’s show by congratulating Trump on his win. “No applause?” he joked.“He beat Nikki Haley by double digits. He’s also leading Nikki Haley by double digits in felony charges, 91 to zero.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump defeated Nikki Haley 54 to 43. It’s the very first time he’s ever been happy to see a woman in her 40s.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Trump cruised to victory, and just like most cruises, half the people partied while the other half felt really sick.” — JIMMY FALLON“Meanwhile, before the votes even came in, Nikki Haley made it clear she wasn’t dropping out. Yep, her campaign released a memo that said, ‘We aren’t going anywhere.’ I’m not sure that slogan is going to work: ‘Nikki Haley: We aren’t going anywhere.’” — JIMMY FALLON“But Nikki Haley has no plans to stop; she will not drop out. Last night, she told supporters that the race is far from over, she still has literally dozens of states to lose.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Sore Winner Edition)“That’s right, Former President Trump won yesterday’s New Hampshire primary, while Nikki Haley finished second. Haley gave a concession speech, while Trump gave a concussion speech.” — SETH MEYERS“Trump was visibly upset Nikki Haley gave a speech as if she won. He reportedly spent the night seething about it, and I don’t blame him. Pretending you won when you actually lost, it’s his thing; not cool, Nikki.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“[imitating Trump] How dare she act like she won when she lost? I mean, what kind of maniac pretends they won when they really lost?” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert offered Gen Z a quick pep talk on the merits of giving blood amid a drop in donations.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightJustin Timberlake will pop by to see Jimmy Fallon on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutCindy Sherman at her studio in New York City.Caroline Tompkins for The New York TimesCindy Sherman’s photo-portraits of women assembled digitally from fragmentary parts make up her new show at Hauser & Wirth. More

  • in

    Jimmy Kimmel Processes the New Hampshire Primary

    Kimmel said Republicans had a choice between “the woman who would become their party’s first-ever female nominee for president or the first guy on trial for defamation related to sexual assault.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Huge in New HampshireThe New Hampshire Republican primary took place on Tuesday, kicking off in the township of Dixville Notch, as is tradition.Jimmy Kimmel said that voters had a tough choice between “the woman who would become their party’s first-ever female nominee for president or the first guy on trial for defamation related to sexual assault.”“Spoiler alert: Haley ended up sweeping the Dixville Notch primary, winning all six votes. Yeah, now, six votes might not sound like a lot, unless you’re Ron DeSantis.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Today was the New Hampshire primary. And then tomorrow, diner customers can go back to eating their meals in peace.” — SETH MEYERS“The New Hampshire primary is over, which means the candidates can stop pretending like they want to be in New Hampshire in January.” — JIMMY FALLON“It was a tense day for former President Trump. He spent all day wondering if he won New Hampshire or if the vote was rigged.” — JIMMY FALLON“That’s right, Trump spent the day awaiting the verdict, although he’s pretty much spent the last year and a half awaiting a verdict. He’s used to it.” — JIMMY FALLON“Haley had a unique advantage in New Hampshire because, like the state, her initials are ‘N.H.,’ which after tonight will stand for ‘not happening.’” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Cognition Impossible Edition)“In a new interview, presidential candidate Nikki Haley questioned former President Trump’s mental fitness and said that she thinks he is ‘declining,’ while Trump thinks Nikki Haley is that lady from ‘Law and Order.’” — SETH MEYERS“The two of you need to sit down side by side, live television — not so close he can cheat off you, but pretty close to each other. We’ll put a divider between you so he doesn’t get chicken-nugget grease on your dress, and let’s find out whose brain works better. We’ll call it ‘Cognition Impossible.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It would be the television event of the year. [imitating host] ‘First question, Mr. Trump — define the word ‘aptitude.’ [imitating Trump] ‘It’s when the plane goes up.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“I bet he couldn’t pass the quiz on a Denny’s place mat.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon found his guest, Kevin James, stuck in his viral meme pose on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Wednesday NightThe “Succession” star J. Smith-Cameron will sit down with Seth Meyers on Wednesday’s “Late Night.”Also, Check This OutThough Ryan Gosling, left, received an Oscar nomination, the “Barbie” star Margot Robbie, center, and the movie’s director, Greta Gerwig, were nominated in some categories but not others.Warner Bros.This year’s biggest Oscar snubs include the women of “Barbie,” Leonardo DiCaprio, and the “May/December” star Charles Melton. More