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Trevor Noah Is Tickled by Report of Trump Locking Supporters In
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Seth Meyers Is Thrilled by G.O.P.’s New Treatment of Trump
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Late Night Thinks Trump Is the Biggest Loser in the Midterms
The former president was said to be livid that candidates he endorsed lost on Tuesday, including Dr. Oz.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.A Losing CombinationLate night hosts commented on the midterm results on Wednesday night, including how poorly the night went for former President Donald Trump, who was said to be “livid” about Dr. Mehmet Oz’s loss in Pennsylvania.“They say the last time Trump was this disappointed was when Eric was born,” Jimmy Kimmel said.“In fact, it’s being reported that he is blaming Melania for pushing him to endorse Dr. Oz in the first place, saying it was ‘not her best decision.’ Yeah, and I’m sure in response, Melania was, like, ‘Yes, it’s true, I am very bad at picking men.’” — TREVOR NOAH“It might even be her second-worst decision.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump is so angry at Melania, they’re no longer sleeping in separate beds.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Trump was so mad he ran upstairs and slammed the door of his tanning bed.” — JIMMY FALLON“On the bright side, Dr. Oz now can go back to doing what he does best, which is analyzing the shape and color of our stool.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Oprah right now is sitting at home cackling like a ‘Game of Thrones’ villain: ‘Tell Mehmet I want him to know it was me.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Oz says he’s just happy he doesn’t have to pretend to root for the Philadelphia Steelers anymore.” — SETH MEYERSThe Punchiest Punchlines (Not Seeing Red Edition)“Whatever happens, it was less a red wave and more of a purple nurple.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“It’s like what happens when you accidentally wash your Klan robes with your MAGA hat. Just a little pink — a pink wash.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“I would say it was less like a red wave and more like a red wedding. The Republicans were the Starks, and Donald Trump was a dragon who burned his whole [expletive] party to a crisp.” — SETH MEYERS“For both parties it wasn’t great, but also not terrible. It was the political version of eating at TGI Fridays.” — JIMMY FALLONThe Bits Worth WatchingBono took the Colbert Questionnaire while on Wednesday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightWill Ferrell will inevitably get into some high jinks during his Thursday appearance on “The Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutPhoto Illustration by The New York Times. Photo by Harry Langdon/Getty ImagesThis week’s “Still Processing” digs into the resurgence of disco and Donna Summer. More
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Late Night Rates Trump’s New Nickname for Ron DeSantis
“Trump doesn’t even know what that means,” Jimmy Fallon said after Donald Trump referred to the Florida governor as “Ron DeSanctimonious.”Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.The Best He Could Come Up WithFormer President Donald Trump debuted a new nickname for Gov. Ron DeSantis at a Pennsylvania rally over the weekend, referring to him as “Ron DeSanctimonious.”“Trump doesn’t even know what that means. He thought he was casting a Harry Potter spell on him,” Jimmy Fallon joked.“That’s right, former President Trump referred to Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis as ‘Ron DeSanctimonious,’ which is a risky move for Trump, because that’s six syllables.” — SETH MEYERS“Has anyone ever been worse at coming up with nicknames? Imagine Trump in ‘Top Gun’: [imitating Trump] ‘People! People! I know we all love Maverick, but I think I got one that beats it. Are you ready? Everybody ready? Airplane Guy.’” — SETH MEYERS“You saw that, breaking out a classic Trump nickname. I mean, at least we think it was a nickname. It could’ve just been Trump trying to say ‘DeSantis.’” — TREVOR NOAH“Yeah, there’s nothing voters like more than insults from a word-a-day calendar: ‘Let’s get bellicose! DeSantis is a pusillanimous sycophant! Incarcerate him aloft!’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Yeah, he’s lost some speed on his nickname fastball, you know? In the old days, it would have been something like ‘Smelly Ron,’ and we would’ve all went with it.” — JIMMY KIMMELThe Punchiest Punchlines (Dr. Oz Edition)“Even Oprah, who made Dr. Oz, endorsed his opponent, John Fetterman. Which is — I mean, look, that’s like, that would be like me not endorsing Guillermo. It just wouldn’t happen.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“Poor Dr. Oz. If he wins, he’s gonna actually have to move to Pennsylvania. I don’t know if he knows this.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“And that’s always how it goes, people. At some point in life, you have to kill the monster you create. Yeah, Dr. Frankenstein and his creature. Obi-wan and Anakin. Parents and their kids.” — TREVOR NOAH“Astronomers predict that a total lunar eclipse will occur tomorrow. So if you look outside and the moon turns red, don’t worry — it just means Dr. Oz won his Senate race.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingStephen Colbert announced the winner of People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2022 on Monday’s “Late Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightJimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert will both go live on election night.Also, Check This OutSasha Diamond, left, and Shannon Tyo play ambitious twin sisters in Jiehae Park’s “Peerless.”James LeynseFemale playwrights are adapting and revamping Shakespeare’s “Macbeth” for the modern age. More
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Late Night Takes Up Herschel Walker’s Résumé Challenge
The football star and Senate candidate said he’d put his accomplishments up against Barack Obama’s any time. “Bold!” said Stephen Colbert.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Best Man for the JobHerschel Walker fired back at Barack Obama this week after the former president said that having been a good football player didn’t qualify Walker for the Senate. Walker said he’d put his résumé up against Obama’s any time.“Bold!” said Stephen Colbert, who presented his lists of the two men’s accomplishments.“Barack Obama was the first Black president of the Harvard Law Review, a U.S. senator, president of the United States, won the Nobel Peace Prize, has an Emmy, two Grammys, three number-one best-selling books, was voted Time’s person of the year twice, has a multimillion-dollar Netflix deal and killed Osama bin Laden. Not bad. That’s not too shabby. Meanwhile, Herschel Walker’s résumé says, ‘Good at football, holds Georgia’s single-season pregnancy record, and brain broke.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“The only thing your résumé has that his doesn’t is typos.” — SETH MEYERS“First of all, it wouldn’t even matter if Walker’s résumé was more impressive than Obama’s, because Obama’s has a line in his résumé that says ‘not crazy.’ That carries a lot of weight in a job interview.” — TREVOR NOAH“But also, Obama was president, people! He was president for two terms. Herschel Walker can’t even carry any of his pregnancies to two terms.” — TREVOR NOAH“I’m kidding, his résumé is impressive. I mean, any résumé is impressive when you can just make it up, right? [imitating Walker] ‘I was a cop, I was an F.B.I. agent, a ballerina, I discovered nitrogen, I also am nitrogen. The list goes on and on.’” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (Bone Deep Edition)“President Biden last night gave a speech on ‘the state of democracy’ and it turns out, it’s not great.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“He said, ‘In our bones, we know democracy …’ That means we are screwed. Yeah, whenever an old person feels something in their bones, it means a storm’s a-coming. [imitating an elderly person] ‘I feel it in my bones. It’s either that or osteoporosis, but I think it’s a storm.’” — TREVOR NOAH“Biden’s clearly at that age where he receives all his information via bones: [imitating Biden] ‘There goes the elbow. There goes the elbow. It’s going to rain. Knee’s acting up again. Low voter turnout in Broward County.’” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon joined the “Sherman’s Showcase” stars Bashir Salahuddin and Diallo Riddle for a musical medley on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutIn “Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me,” the singer is in the trustworthy hands of the veteran director Alek Keshishian.Apple TV+The new documentary “Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me” captures the pop star’s challenges with mental illness, lupus and fame. More
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Late Night Looks at Election Deniers Running for Office
Stephen Colbert pointed out that 12 Republicans running for secretary of state have publicly voiced concerns about the validity of the 2020 presidential election.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Not Just a River in EgyptSeveral Republicans up for election in the midterms have voiced distrust in the validity of the 2020 presidential election. On Wednesday, Stephen Colbert said he was especially frightened by the 12 running for secretary of state across the country, saying that their wins could mean “the election deniers might be running the next election.”“That doesn’t seem right. That’s like saying, ‘Hey, we need a babysitter — how about Cassandra the Dark, denier of children? I know, I know, but she really wants the job — or don’t you enjoy date night?’” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Anything can happen, and as a reminder of that, today is the 74th anniversary of one of the greatest election upsets ever. In 1948, Harry Truman beat Thomas Dewey. No one expected Truman to get re-elected, particularly not the Chicago Tribune, which led to one of the most iconic photos in U.S. history: a victorious President Truman holding up the early edition of the paper that incorrectly declared ‘Dewey Defeats Truman.’ It’s very famous. And that blunder led to another iconic photo the next day: ‘Dewey Says Election was Rigged,’ followed by, ‘Frankly, Dewey Did Win This Election’ and ‘Dewey Supporters Raid Capitol, Poop on Floor.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL“At a campaign stop in Wisconsin, Republican Senator Ron Johnson said that he is not sure if he will accept the results of next week’s midterm elections and added, ‘Do Democrats have something up their sleeves?’ Have you met the Democrats? They famously have nothing up their sleeve. The best they can manage is a quarter behind the ear.” — SETH MEYERS“Then, over in Nevada, you got former state representative and news anchor from the future telling us about life before the event, Jim Marchant. Marchant ‘falsely claims the former president defeated Joe Biden in Nevada and has said he wouldn’t have certified the results there in 2020,’ and has pushed the ‘false claim that Pelosi, Schumer, and Schiff weren’t legitimately elected.’ Oh, so he’s just denying every election: ‘Schumer lost! Schiff cheated! Justin Guarini beat Kelly Clarkson! I won the J.D. Power and Associates initial customer satisfaction for midsize family van!” — STEPHEN COLBERTThe Punchiest Punchlines (In the Swing Edition)“Tonight, Biden delivered a prime-time speech from Capitol Hill about the midterm elections and said it could take several days for all of the votes to be counted in some swing states. Unfortunately, after these past two years, every state is a swing state.” — JIMMY FALLON“Yeah, a lot of experts are predicting a red wave on Election Day. You can tell Biden is nervous because he already hired Rudy Giuliani to challenge the results.” — JIMMY FALLON“President Biden also said that next week’s midterms are the ‘most important election of our lifetime.’ And that’s saying something coming from a guy who maybe voted for Lincoln?” — SETH MEYERS“President Biden warned yesterday that Republican Senator Rick Scott wants to cut Social Security and Medicare and added, quote, ‘Hot damn, boy.’ By the way, using the phrase ‘Hot damn, boy’ instantly qualifies you for Medicare.” — SETH MEYERSThe Bits Worth WatchingAfter a two-year hiatus, “Jimmy Kimmel Live” brought back its annual YouTube Challenge, which asked parents to record their children after being told their parents ate all their Halloween candy.What We’re Excited About on Thursday NightParamore, the pop punk band, will perform on Thursday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutIn “Causeway,” Jennifer Lawrence plays a military engineer who returns home from Afghanistan after a traumatic brain injury.AppleAfter a brief acting hiatus, Jennifer Lawrence returns to the screen in “Causeway,” an AppleTV+ drama in which she plays an injured military engineer who comes home to New Orleans for an uneasy convalescence. More
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Trevor Noah Brings ‘The Daily Show’ to Georgia
Noah kicked off a week of taping in Atlanta on Monday ahead of next week’s big elections.Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.Georgia on My MindTrevor Noah kicked off a week of taping “The Daily Show” in Atlanta on Monday night.“Georgia is the epicenter of America’s elections right now,” Noah said. “It decides everything.” One such race, he said, was the contest between the Democratic senator Raphael Warnock and his Republican opponent Herschel Walker, who he was shocked to report are currently “neck and neck.”“I know Walker is all neck, but what is happening?” Noah said.“Every second thing the man says turns out to be a lie. He walks around with a fake police badge, yeah? He pretended he was an F.B.I. agent, all right? He claimed he was anti-abortion, even though he apparently paid for one. He claimed he had only one kid even though he has, like, 1,000. Oh, and he told people he graduated in the top 1 percent of his class at the University of Georgia, and it turned out he never graduated at all. At all. Like, at this point, I want to meet the Herschel Walker that Herschel Walker thinks he is, right? Because at this point, at this point, everything — like, he treats real life the way we treat dating apps.” — TREVOR NOAHNoah noted the Democrats are bringing out “the big guns” ahead of next week’s election, including “Netflix’s very own Barack Obama.”“This race is so important, it even got Obama off the beach.” — TREVOR NOAHObama spoke in support of Warnock at a rally where he said he wouldn’t trust Walker to pilot a plane.“Wow, really? Really, President Obama, really? You are going to say that about a man who graduated in the top 1 percent of pilot school? How dare you! [imitating Herschel Walker] ‘A lot of people don’t know this about me, Herschel, but I was in “Top Gun.” That movie was about me. My name in the ’80s was Pete Maverick.’” — TREVOR NOAH“I love how Obama roasts you with, like, that signature swag. He makes it sound so polite, but he’s roasting the [expletive] out of you.” — TREVOR NOAHThe Punchiest Punchlines (The Biggest Troll of All Edition)“In other lunatic billionaire news, Elon Musk is the new owner of Twitter, and in the first 12 hours after he took over, promising free, unadulterated speech, use of the ‘n’ word went up almost 500 percent. So, mission accomplished, Elon.” — JIMMY KIMMEL“The company blamed it on trolls, but of all the trolls on Twitter, none are trollier than the troll who just bought it.” — STEPHEN COLBERT“Elon Musk tweeted something that was considered misinformation and then deleted it later because it was a false conspiracy theory, which is awkward when you’re the owner of Twitter.” — JIMMY FALLON“Here was the email Musk received. It said, ‘Dear me — I regret to inform me that my tweet violated my terms of service, so I will have to ask me to delete my tweet as soon as me can. If I do not delete my tweet, I will be forced to do it for me. If I-you-me have any questions, you-me should contact me at our-us’s earliest convenience. Yours truly, you.’” — JIMMY FALLON“Today, he fired the entire board, and he’s now floating the idea that verified users may have to pay $20 a month to retain their blue check marks. Not his worst idea. His worst idea would be buying Twitter.” — JAMES CORDENThe Bits Worth WatchingJimmy Fallon announced his new holiday duet with Dolly Parton, “Almost Too Early for Christmas,” on Monday’s “Tonight Show.”What We’re Excited About on Tuesday NightThe Broadway cast of “Almost Famous” will perform on Tuesday’s “Tonight Show.”Also, Check This OutThe last record to sell one million copies in a week was Taylor Swift’s “Reputation,” in 2017. Mario Anzuoni/ReutersTaylor Swift’s new album “Midnights” debuted with the biggest weekly total sales for any LP since Adele’s “25” in 2015. More
